… Wait. What the hell? I'm posting a chapter? What? WHAT? WHAT? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. I suck (taking three years for an update isn't even a record for me.. haha…) & this chapter got posted twice for some reason... whoops.

Anyhow. Disclaimer. Onward, ho!

A Vampire's Love

First Impressions

"Ino, I am exhausted. I just spent over twelve hours in a hospital and all I want to do is sleep. Next time, I promise." Sakura practiced, waiting for her friend to come over. As much as she loved her enthusiastic best friend, she did not have the ability to go 30 hours with no sleep like her—and after a long shift like that, all she wanted was to down a shot and knock out.

"Where is Naruto when you need him…" she mumbled, thinking fondly of her emotional rock.

Knock, knock.

Repeating her excuse one more time in her head, Sakura went to answer the door.

"Speak of the devil!" Smiling, Sakura welcomed Naruto into her flat. "What are you doing here? I thought you were spending the week in Oto!" She moved to give him a hug, which he shrugged off, sending a pang through her chest.

"Things came up, had to come back into town." He gave her a half-hearted smile. Noticing her dejected face, he pulled her into his arms, giving her one of the bear hugs she had learned to expect from him. "Good to see you."

"I just saw you yesterday." She laughed, letting him pull away.

"A day without your face? Might as well stake me in the heart!"

"Ha ha." She replied wryly, a light pink staining her cheeks. "Anyway, to what do I owe this pleasure?"

"Nothing really." He gave her another wide grin and Sakura narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "I have a hard time believing that, Naruto."

"'Kura, would I lie to you?"

"Yes, you would. Now, out with the truth." Sakura jabbed her thumb into his stomach, wincing slightly at how hard his stomach was. "How are you so in shape?! All I ever see you do is sleep and eat!"

"It's in my genetics to be terrifyingly sexy and perfect."

Sakura rolled her eyes and snorted. "Modest, handsome and intelligent," she drawled sarcastically. "I wonder why you don't have a girl at your arm. Really."

Before he could grace her with a witty reply, Sakura jabbed him in the stomach again, ignoring the pain in her fingers. "And don't change the subject! Why are you here?"

"Well, see. I have a friend coming into town and I gave him your address instead of mine."

"What?!" Sakura threw her hands up, "What would possess you to do that?! Please tell me you're messing with me—please!"

Laughing nervously, Naruto scratched his nose. "He should be here soon—don't hit me, woman!" Backing out of her reach, he put his hands up in a gesture of peace. "I live in a one bedroom, what was I supposed to do?!"

"So do I, you fool!"

"Well, I'm sorry! Geez, you could at least meet him. He's a pretty cool guy. He's been my friend for years and he's—"

"Oh my God, you're trying to set me up with him! You're worse than Ino!" Sakura reached out to claw at him and she ended up falling to the ground when he just barely slipped out of her grasp. "That's why you gave him my address, you little sneak! How many times do I have to tell you I can find a guy on my own. I'm not a crazy, desperate, old bat!"

"Not yet, you're not."

"I heard that you, you little—"

"'Kura, he's here!" Naruto singsonged, stepping over the woman sprawled out on the tile. "Y-You could at least help me up!" Straightening her short at the hem, she put on her friendliest smile—it wasn't Naruto's friend's fault that he was a moron.

"Hello." It took every ounce of Sakura's power not to pounce the man—no, the God—standing in front of her. "Erm, hi." Sakura smiled nervously, pulling at the hem of her shirt.

"No need to be shy, 'Kura!" Naruto smiled brightly at her, making her stomach do a flip-flop. "This is Sasuke and this right here is 'Ku—Sakura!"

"'Kura." Sakura corrected, giving Naruto a pointed look before smiling at Mr. Handsome. "Nice to meet you, Sasuke."

"Likewise." Sakura took note that his deep voice matched his smoldering looks perfectly and just as she was beginning to fantasize he spoke up again:

"Your hair is short." She did not miss the disdain in his voice. She crossed her arms over her chest, choosing to be the bigger person and ignore his contemptuous tone. "Really? I never noticed." She said dryly, doing her best to keep her voice light (and failing quite miserably).

"I don't like it."

"Oh, is that so?" Sakura vaguely registered Naruto smacking himself in the forehead.

"Sasuke, you are the stupidest person on the planet. Have you forgotten how to communicate with people? What is socially acceptable and what is just fucking rude?" Naruto couldn't help but feel indignant for Sakura.

"That's not Sakura." Sasuke snapped. "She is absolutely nothing like Sakura. That girl is an uncoordinated, foulmouthed, unattractive—"

"Watch your mouth, Sasuke." Naruto warned, his own anger flaring.

"Don't Naruto, don't. I just traveled 250 miles for no reason. I just want to get out of this city."

"Sas—"

"Don't. That was not my Saku—"

"Your Sakura is fucking dead, Sasuke." Sasuke's fury blinded him and he shoved Naruto against the nearest wall, listening for the pleasing crack of bone.

"I'll kill you Naruto, I swear." Sasuke growled, digging his hand into Naruto's upper chest and crushing his clavicle. "I'll fucking bathe in your blood."

"Shut up, you pathetic little shit." Naruto did not even wince at the pain, letting Sasuke break his bones. "Accept the fact that she's dead. It's been centuries. She's not coming back."

"She promised." Sasuke stressed, loosening his grip on Naruto. There was no satisfaction in hurting someone that did not care.

"She did come back."

"That's not her!"

"What the hell did you expect Sasuke? This Sakura has gone through a completely different life. She has both her parents, she doesn't have to worry about the fucking plague, she's gone to school, she's been to nearly every country in the world—what did you think? You'd find a literal copy of the quiet, subdued girl who taught you about true love?" he mocked, giving Sasuke a hard push, he let out a sardonic laugh as though the very thought of 'true love' was a joke. "Don't be a child."

"What are you suggesting, then?"

"I'm not suggesting anything, Sasuke. I'm your friend, not your mommy. You're a grown up. Figure it the fuck out." As Naruto shouldered passed Sasuke, he was sure to spit at his feet.

"What a…a…a…!"

"Let it out, sister." Ino patted Sakura's back, motioning to the bartender for a refill for her furious friend.

"—Piece of stupid shit! Ino, I don't think I've been this angry in ages!"

"Well, other than the haircut thing, what did he say?"

"Nothing! I don't know what happened. I was just so furious. But Ino, you should've heard him. His good looks wasted on a personality like that. It's tragic. Ugh, I bet he's the type of guy to think that women should be stay-at-homes and must know how to cook and all that bullshit. I could just tell that he was a misogynisti—"

"Drink, dear."

After the lovely encounter earlier in the evening, Sakura had changed her mind about just going to bed and decided she wanted nothing more than to get out of her apartment and get shitfaced times ten with her best friend.

"Just take a swig every time you get angry or sad." Ino said wisely, taking a sip of her beer and sneering at a man grinning at her.

"That's called alcoholism." Sakura replied dryly, smirking when Ino waved her off. "Don't be snarky, just drink."

"I'm just sick of only meeting assholes."

"You know who's not an asshole…"

"Please don't."

"Naruto. In fact, he might just be the perfect guy for you."

"We've been over this, Ino! Sometimes he runs hot, sometimes he runs cold and I can only deduce that he's not all that interested."

"I find that really hard to believe, 'Kura! He cares about you! Anytime I bump into him, it's always 'Kura this or 'Kura that. Even when I dated him, he constantly asked how you were."

"Don't remind me of that, you backstabber." Sakura grumbled darkly, pinching Ino's arm.

"If you weren't going to make a move, no way in Hell was I gonna let a catch like him slip away. And anyways, it's not like I slept with him or anything. Not that I didn't try, he just didn't want to. Which is strange. Maybe he's gay. I mean it would expl—"

"Just, shut up, Ino. You were supposed to make me feel better."

"That's the alcohol's job, actually. I'm just supposed to talk." Ino chewed on her thumbnail thoughtfully, motioning to the bartender for another shot. "You know, maybe in another universe, he'd be crazy about you."

"Yeah, with ninjas and people that walk on water." Sakura snorted. "Don't make him an option for me again. Please. I always make a fool of myself and he stays an oblivious idiot."

"Well, nothing you can do about that. There are better guys. Somewhere. Just not on this side of the hemisphere."

"You wound me!"

Breathing out her nose, Ino put on her bitchiest face and turned to the man leaning against the bar. "I'm not interested."

"Are you sure about that?"

"This is my girlfriend."

"C'mon babe, I know that ain't true."

"Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. But you look like you have a small penis so get out of my face." Sakura began coughing wildly—Ino's comment caused her to swallow too quickly and now she was about to die—over a penis joke.

"My poor baby!" Ino cooed, giving Sakura a hard smack in the middle of her back. "I bet your dick's never made a girl ch—"

Sakura dug her nails into Ino's lower arm, shaking her head wildly. 'Please stop. I literally cannot breathe.'

Clearing her throat, Ino gave the now terribly embarrassed and angry man a pointed look. "Can you leave now?" The man didn't waste another second, mumbling some choice words under his breath as he rejoined his friends who were howling at a table a few feet away.

"You okay?" Ino awkwardly patted Sakura's shoulder, grinning when Sakura glowered. "Why do you do that? You realize you could've just said 'no'?"

"I tried that, you insufferable cow." Ino crossed her arms over her chest. "Dumbass boys like him don't get the message until you humiliate them. And either way," her grin grew, "cheered you right up, didn't I?"

Sakura rolled her eyes, a small smile playing on her lips. "Guess so."

"Good! Now, why don't you finish your shot so we can get the hell outta here."

Closing her eyes, Sakura downed the bitter liquid. "Sounds like a plan."

Yes. Chapters will only be about 2000 words. (Very short I know!) But, it also means I should be updating more regularly! (maybe… possibly… not likely… don't hold me to that!) I decided to change this from a rom-com to a rom-dram because I am not nearly as funny as I used to think I was. These days I need a bottle to be even mildly funny. I feel very eh about this chapter but I am persevering! But, yanno, a couple nice words would really help :) And please don't ask me which direction this story is going… I can barely figure it out D: AND I have very mixed feelings about this chapter, but eh, I feel that way about everything I write!

ANYHOW, I just want to thank the readers/reviewers who have remained faithful to me! I dearly love you and let this took-three-years update be proof to you that I will finish all of my stories! :)

HUGS AND KISSES TO ALL THAT REVIEW.