usual copyright disclaimer: CHANT: Characters are not mine, um-lalalalala they are property of MTV - um, lalalalala this story is meant to work into the story arc left from Is It Fall Yet and Season 4 of Daria -- all inspiration is attributed to the script writers at MTVum.

Authors note: 1. Not a binary universe - multiple love interests can and do happen here. 2. Titled years before the HBO series came out.

The "L" Word
by Medea42

Act I: Scene 1

The Pizza King, evening. Tom and Daria are sitting across from each other, absorbed in conversation. Daria has a dozen roses sitting on the table beside them, and they are holding hands across the table.

Daria: No one has every given me flowers before unless you count the time Quinn tried to bury me alive.

Tom: It's about time someone changed that. Besides, roses are perfect for you - ideal beauty and still plenty of thorns. Perfect, even in its imperfection.

Daria: Just worship me as the goddess I am.

Both laugh.

Trent enters. Neither Daria nor Tom notice him, they are so absorbed in each other. Trent takes the booth directly behind them, and just sits there, evidently listening.

Tom: Daria, there's been something else I really want to tell you --

Daria: That you're really a double agent for Cuba, and you need to board your orange crate and head home for your report to Castro?

Tom: (Laughs.) No, I quit that. Socialist health insurance has too many pitfalls. (Changes tone.) Seriously, I want to tell you something.

Daria: Shatter me with your news. What?

Tom: I love you.

Daria wears "deer in headlights" expression

Trent frowns.

Tom: Daria? Daria, please say something.

Daria: (Looking fixedly at the table.) Um, that's really flattering.

Tom: (Sighs.) I mean it.

Daria: I know. Um, I've gotta go –

She stands up quickly, knocking the flowers on floor. She doesn't notice that she steps on them as she leaves.

Tom hits the table with his fists.

Tom: How many more walls, Daria? (Slumps.)

A waitress asks Trent for his order.

Trent: No thanks. I've just lost my appetite.

Trent rises and leaves, a few moments after Daria. Tom doesn't see him.

Act I: Scene 2

Lawndale shopping district, Daria walks past the video store. Trent pulls his car beside her.

Trent: Hey Daria. Need a ride?

Daria: No thanks, I think I need to walk.

Trent: C'mon, I haven't seen you in awhile. I've missed you. We always have such great talks.

Daria: Um, well, blushes I've been around, and I still come over to hang out with Jane.

Trent: Yeah, but it hasn't been just us in forever. Come on Daria, I really want to spend some time with you.

Daria: Uh, OK.

She opens the passenger door in Trent's car and slides in.

Trent: You look a little down – do you wanna talk about it?

Daria: I never want to talk about it.

Trent: That's cool.

Trent shifts gears and drives. It's evident from his body language he has a purpose.

Daria: Um, Trent, where are we going?

Trent: Someplace cool. Or not. Whatever.

Daria: Okay...

Trent: I wanna show you something - I think you'll really like it.

Act I: Scene 3

The giant Strawberry. Trent's car slides into view, cutting across the strawberry like a large, rusty knife.

Trent: Wait a sec. I want to make sure there are no cops around --

Daria: Yes, the strawberry offers such a den for criminales like us.

Trent: (Laughs/coughs.) Good one, Daria. looks around OK, it's clear. Follow me.

Daria follows Trent around the back of the strawberry. On the other side, the viewer sees a door to the strawberry, slightly ajar. Trent pokes his head in, and then motions for Daria to follow him.

Daria: What am I getting myself into?

She ducks into the doorway as well. We see that Trent has climbed a ladder, and we see Daria follow him, joining him on a platform near the leafy section of the strawberry. Trent helps Daria settle herself. He points out a small window. .

Trent: Look.

Daria: Oh joy, suburbia.

Trent: Yeah, it really inspires some of my darkest stuff. I come here when I need to get in touch with my own depression. You're the first person I've ever shown this place. Even Janey doesn't know about it.

Daria: Endless streetlights and unbearably similar houses -- ah, the good cheer of conformity.

Trent smirks.

Daria: Trent, why did you take me here?

Trent: Because you're getting to a point where you're gonna need a place like this. I love you, Daria, and I want you to know about the places where you can have the good kind of alone.

Trent reaches out and takes her hand. Daria and Trent sit in silence, holding hands and gazing out into the Lawndale night. Daria blushes

Act I: Scene 4

Daria and Jane's lockers. Daria looks frazzled and exhausted. Her hair is sticking up wildly, and her glasses hang crookedly on her face.

Jane: You look like the Sick Sad World hairdos and blenders episode. What happened?

Daria: I just had a really weird night last night, and I didn't get in until five.

Jane: Oh? and how did Jake and Helen take your nightcat philandering?

Daria: I think I'm grounded, but I'm not sure. I was busy working out the complexities of the cereal bowl, and Mom talks a lot anyway. I never knew cereal could have such a mind of its own. I spent most of breakfast putting it back in the bowl; it wouldn't go there when I poured it.

Jane: (Sly grin.) Daria Morgendorffer! YOU, of all people, break the sacred curfew? You and Tom must have had some night!

Daria: Actually, I didn't spend much time with Tom last night. I -

Jodie walks up behind Daria, and interrupts.

Jodie: Jane, Daria, I need to beg a favor of you.

Jane: If it involves anything extra-curricular, you already know the answer.

Jodie: (Smirking.) This extra curricular you two may particularly find worthwhile.

Jane: Oh?

Jodie: Mack and I have found the ultimate way to break Kevin of some of his more annoying habits. Wanna help?

Jane: Oh, Daria's always game for an exercise in futility!

Daria glares at Jane.

OS: Kevin: Hey, Mac-Daddy, catch this! Mack: stop calling me that!

Jodie: You're gonna love it.

Jane: That might even get me some much needed extra credit with Ms. Barch. What do you think, Daria, really?

Daria is leaning against her locker, snoring. Jane shakes her awake.

Jane: Geez, is Trent rubbing off on you?

Daria becomes very alert at the mention of Trent.

Daria: Trent!? I haven't seen him. Idon'tknowanything.

Jane: (to Jodie.) I think the pressures of Daria's new social life are getting to her a little bit, so perhaps we should pardon her from association with this crime.

Jodie: (Looking curiously at Daria.) I would have to agree.

Jane and Jodie start walking towards class. Daria is still staring at her locker, confused. Jane walks back and grabs Daria by the shoulder.

Jane: The door you need to stare at is this way, Daria.

Daria: Door? There's a door, too -- and a bat. In the sky.

Jane continues to guide Daria, possibly in the direction of one of her classes.

Act II: Scene I

Jane and Jodie are working in what appears to be a sound/video lab.

Jane: Wow, Ms. Li certainly did a great job misappropriating funds to get this equipment.

Jodie: Yeah, thanks to her yearly updates on the surveillance system we actually have pretty good equipment for the Media and Communications club.

Jane: We have a media club?

Jodie: Yes, per Ms. Li and the glory of Lawndale high, we're supposed to introduce a telecast next week - including in-house ads.

Jane: And what about this project should appeal to me?

Jodie: Let me show you some of the more interesting equipment donated
to us from Ms. Li...

Act II: Scene 2

Quinn's room. Quinn is on her bed, in typical teen pose, chatting on the phone.

Quinn: Of COURSE I did the homework Sandi -- really, if we want to get into Pepperhill it's NOT such a big deal to sacrifice a date or two. Besides, Bobby was so cute and bought me pens to coordinate with my outfits -

Daria appears in her doorway, still looking haggard and messy. Quinn sees her, and drops phone.

Quinn: Oh my God! What happened to you!?

Daria: Uh -

Quinn (Grabs phone.) Sandi, this is a MAJOR fashion emergency, I HAVE to go. I'll call you as soon as the situation is no longer critical. (Disconnects.) Daria, I know you could care less about your looks, but you have a BOYFRIEND now, you HAVE to do SOME maintenance. My God, you usually at least bathe --

Daria: I'm too tired to want to kill you right now. I need some advice.

Quinn: You need advice from ME!? Don't tell me Jane is still mad at you about the Tom thing -

Daria: This is really something I can't ask Jane about -

Quinn: Is it Tom? Did he do something to you? Did you do something with him?

Daria: No Quinn, Tom does not have a case of naughty tentacles. Before you ask, no one ELSE does either. It's just, um, he told me something -

Quinn: What? Did he tell you he's dying? Oh that would be SO romantic -

Daria: No Quinn, he's not dying. and I for one DON'T find the idea of dating a corpse romantic -

Quinn: Well, what did he tell you? Out with it Daria! I get so sick of you and the way you always have to drag everything out -

Daria: Tom told me he loved me.

Quinn's mouth drops open.

Quinn: He WHAT!?

Daria: He gave me so me roses, and we were talking, and he said "Daria, I love you." And then Tre-- someone else said the same thing to me.

Quinn: (Begins pacing.) Daria, this is TERRIBLE. You have to break up with him RIGHT NOW!

Daria: Huh?

Quinn: Oh really, first he says he loves you, and then he wants to be with you exclusively all the time -- not that you're all that unavailable anyway, and it wouldn't make a difference for YOU, but it's a principle --

Daria: If sleep weren't fogging my brain, I'd be out of here already. But since I'm already too exhausted for your drivel to numb my brain, what about the other guy?

Quinn: Oh, him? Make sure that Tom and he know about each other. Having guys fight over you would do wonders for your popularity. Daria, are you even going to think about what I'm saying? Daria?

Daria leans against Quinn's bedroom wall, snoring.

Quinn: (To herself) Two guys? Huh - she's just delusional from lack of sleep.

Act II: Scene 3

Jane and Jodie are still in the lab, and they are looking at a screen.

Jodie: Perfect. Jane, you have a real knack for this stuff.

Jane: Thank you. I have to admit I am both surprised by and really admire this new subversive streak of yours.

Jodie: I wouldn't be so subversive if I let it show all the time.

Jane: Right you are amiga. (Stretches.) So, when does this experiment commence?

Jodie: Tomorrow morning. I would like to borrow a test audience though -

Jane: (Conspiratorial tone.) Now who could we interest in watching three hours of football and cheerleading footage?

Jodie: Now who around here has a Pavlovian response to the pigskin channel?

Both girls smirk.

Jane: I feel a need to eat and to find out exactly what Daria's adventures were last night. Meet you back here later?

Jodie: Sure thing. I'll gather up Kevin and Brittany, and tomorrow we should have our results.

Act II: Scene 4

Daria's room. She looks better rested and more her normal self.

Helen, OS: Daria, Jane's here.

Jane appears at Daria's door at that moment.

Daria: (Bolts upright.) Gah!

Jane: And hello to you too, o paranoid one. I come from the planet of the relaxed and calm. We bring you tweakies.

Daria: (Sits up.) I wasn't expecting anyone.

Jane: I would have called, but Trent is on this weird phones-and-tones kick where he'll only dial phone numbers using the synthesizer and his guitar, and it was easier just to get out of the house for awhile.

Daria blushes at mention of Trent. Jane raises an eyebrow.

Jane: So, what kept you out into the wee hours of delinquency? Is young Thomas becoming more - adventurous? Taking morgue chat to new depths?

Daria: No. Things with Tom got kind of intense last night, and I needed a break. Um, considering what happened and all with him, I'm not sure I should tell you about this -

Jane: Daria, first of all, I'm over it. Tom was far from my first boyfriend, and while it lasted it was cool, but as boyfriends go he was one more memory among others. Secondly, he's YOUR first boyfriend, and you're MY best friend. When things get weird, come to me! That is, unless you want to talk to strawberry-fluff across the hall there.

Daria: (Cringes.) I tried that.

Jane: Woah! The sleep deprivation made you delusional!

Daria: I'm not sure I remember the specifics of the babble, thank God.

Jane: So talk to me - what happened?

Daria: Tom told me he loved me.

Jane: Really? Should I be happy for you, or weirded out?

Daria: I am definitely weirded out.

Jane: So what did you do? What did you say?

Daria: I got up and left. We were at the Pizza King, and he told me, and I said I had to go and left.

Jane: So what happened that kept you out last night if you weren't with Tom?

Daria: (Mumbles.)Trentpickedmeup.

Jane: Did I hear you say Trent picked you up?

Daria: Um, yeah. He offered me a ride home.

Jane: And Trent giving you a ride home somehow took all night?

Daria: Well, um, no. Trent asked to hang out with me, and we ended up sitting in the giant strawberry all night.

Jane: Trent took YOU to the giant strawberry?

Daria: Um, yeah.

Jane: My brother, who will not share that space even with me, will not share it with Jesse, who actually made us both swear an oath never to send anyone up there unless he remained there for over 72 hours took YOU, Daria Morgendorffer, to the giant strawberry.

Daria: Um, yeah. He said it was kind of his special place, and that he knew I'd need it, too. He said...um, nevermind.

Jane: You're leaving something big out.

Daria: Trent told me he loved me, too.

Jane: (Raises eyebrows.) OK. So the two men that you have ever hankered after in your life both just passed on that golden phrase in the same night, and you are here. Panicking.

Daria: Yup.

Jane: (Sits on bed next to Daria.) I understand that. I for one don't think you have a problem.

Daria: Huh?

Jane: C'mon Daria - Trent knows you're with Tom. And although he will always be menacing towards Tom because of me, Trent really thinks he's good for you. He certainly wouldn't try to interfere in your relationship with him.

Daria: Well, yeah, he did give me some good advice when I broke up with him for awhile -

Jane: Exactly. My brother is not as oblivious as people assume he is. And he DOES care about you, at least as much as I do. You've been HIS muse just as much as you've been MY friend. Now that you're almost 18, Trent's probably going to want your friendship to change. You're more to him than just his little sister's friend, you know – and he appreciates that you would recognize a sacred place. I love you means something way different coming from Tom than it does from Trent, Daria.

Daria: Actually, yeah, That does make a lot more sense.

Jane: So, shall we readjust our cynical world views?

Daria: (Grabs remote, turns on television.) I could use a dose of the medicine we call apathy. Sick Sad World it is.

From Television: UNDERWATER BASKETWEAVING: COLLEGE MAJOR, OR KINKY SPORT? NEXT ON SICK SAD WORLD.

Act III: Scene 1

Mr. O'Neil's classroom.

Jane, Daria and Kevin are sitting in the front. Brittany sits directly behind Kevin. Jodie is standing at the front of the class, giving a presentation.

Jodie: And in conclusion, we have found that mass media – particularly events viewed at extreme length, such as sports programming and televangelism -- provide a dangerous opportunity for influencing the masses through subliminal messages and preying on the cognitive dissonance caused via the illusion of popular opinion.

Daria: You mean somebody noticed?

Jane: You might want to plug your ears and not watch this next part.

Daria: Huh? Why?

Jodie: And with that said, I present to you the new Lawndale high telecast.

Jane: (Sotto voce) I mean it. Take these earplugs and don't watch.

Daria grabs earplugs, puts them in. Shot to Jane and Jodie - both are wearing earplugs and looking away from the screen.

As Daria looks around at the classroom, Kevin is scratching at his football jersey, other members of the classroom are twitching, and Brittany sits very, very, still. Kevin has a seizure and rips off his journey, Brittany is glaring at him and all the other students look slightly ill. Mr. O'Neill cries. Jane nods to Jodie and Daria. At her motion they all quietly leave the classroom. There is too much chaos for anyone to notice them leave.

Act III: Scene 2

Pizza King. Jane, Jodie and Daria sit around a booth.

Jodie: I was researching subliminal messages for a project in psychology class, and when Ms. Li came in with her edict it seemed like a perfect place to test the material -- and to protest the way I'm always having Lawndale's glory dumped on me.

Daria: It was brilliant. It was just as evil as something Jane or I would do.

Jodie: Coming from you two, that's one hell of a compliment.

Jane: By the way, why did you test the stuff on Kevin specifically?

Jodie: It's an anniversary present to Mack. If Kevin tries calling him Mack Daddy, he'll start itching horribly again. And every time Brittany sees a football, or something that reminds her of football, she'll feel like she's looking at Upchuck.

Tom enters.

Tom: Hi Daria!

Daria: Um, hi Tom! How'd you know I was here?

Tom: I stopped by your place looking for you, and your Mom said you might be here with Jane. She mumbled something about you being grounded and how you should be there, but the cell phone saved either her or you. I'm not sure which. Jane. Jodie, it's a pleasure to see you again.

Jodie: Likewise

Jane: Hey.

Tom: Do you two mind if I steal Daria for a bit?

Jane: Steal away. We'll make sure her pizza meets its proper end.

Tom: Thanks.

Cut to outside Pizza King. Tom opens car door for Daria, and she slides in. Tom walks around and sits in driver's seat.

Tom: Daria, about the other night --

Daria: I guess I should apologize. I wasn't ready for what you had to say to me. I like you a lot, and I'm glad you're my boyfriend, but I'm not sure I'm willing to go that far onto an emotional limb.

Tom: It's OK. I'm sorry I spooked you like that. You understand I was just saying how I feel -- you don't have to say anything back, and I don't expect anything from you. It's one of those things that I know you'll have to come to in your own time.

Daria: (Looks at car seat.) Thanks Tom.

They hug.

Act III: Scene 3
Morgendorffer house, exterior. Tom's car appears, Daria gets out. As Tom pulls away, we see Trent on the sidewalk approaching Daria.

Trent: Hey Daria.

Daria: Um, hey Trent. (Blushes.)

Trent: I just wanted to talk to you after the other night.

Daria: Yeah?

Trent: Just to let you know it was really cool hanging out with you, and I'd like to do it again sometime.

Daria: Thanks. I'd like that.

Trent: Cool. (Starts to walk away. Pauses, turns back.) And Daria?

Daria: Yeah?

Trent: That other stuff I said?

Daria: Yeah?

Trent: I meant that, too.

Daria smiles her Mona Lisa smile.