Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh.
Set after the Black Crown fire. Ryuuji struggles with how to rebuild his life until he realizes he might just have more to work with than he thought.
Part One
Ryuuji hated hospitals. He didn't much care for the sterile white hallways and the harsh fluorescent lighting; both gave off an impersonal vibe. Then there was the smell, the unmistakable, acrid scent of antiseptic that assaulted his nose and seemed to permeate everything. Trumping all was the fact people rarely come to hospitals for happy reasons. That, in his opinion, was what made those institutions uncomfortable to the point he'd rather run like hell than spend much time in one if given the opportunity. After all, hospital visits are about dealing with cold hard facts, and when you are in one, it is near impossible to pretend that everything is "okay."
Ryuuji was certainly not at the hospital for happy reasons. He was, in fact, sitting in an empty office waiting for the doctor to arrive and deliver what he expected would be the ever clichéd "good news" and "bad news" concerning his father's condition. Drawing a pair of dice from his pocket he began tossing and rolling them idly to pass the time. His dice, usually a source of pride, were now a source of comfort and continuity. They represented the familiar in a world that was coming down around his ears.
There was a brisk knock at the door. Ryuuji looked up from his dice to see the doctor nod at him and step inside the office.
"I apologize for the wait," said the doctor as he sat down at the desk.
"No problem." Ryuuji gave a polite bob of the head in return and watched as the man across from him began shuffling through a short stack of manila folders. With the correct file now on top, he folded his hands and looked Ryuuji grimly in the eye.
"I just came from seeing your father," began the doctor in careful, measured words. "Considering his advanced age, he is lucky to be faring so well after such traumatic events. Now, I want to assure you the burns your father received from the fire were not severe." He unclasped his hands revealing his palms as if to demonstrate he had nothing to hide. "With proper treatment, they should heal quickly and without complication."
A pregnant pause followed those reassuring words as the doctor removed his glasses and began polishing the lenses. Ryuuji found himself following the doctor's movements rather than maintaining eye contact. He knew he was about to bad news now, and he had a pretty good idea what it would entail. How he would react to the information he was much less certain. Those yet unspoken words were something he simultaneously dreaded and, if he were completely honest with himself, secretly wanted to hear. Ryuuji swallowed hard. In nervous anticipation he began rolling the dice around in his hand and focused on the soft clacks they made as they bumped against each other.
The doctor settled his glasses back onto his nose and returned his gaze to the young man. "Unfortunately, son, it appears your father's mind is slipping into a kind of dementia punctuated by periods of mania and depression. At this point, we are not sure if his condition is permanent. It could be that it was triggered by the stress of last night and with time will subside." His features softened in compassion as he continued. "However, there is also the possibility that it will progressively worsen. I would like to keep him here under observation for a few more days."
Ryuuji's expression remained impassive all the while the doctor was speaking - something that did not go unnoticed. Despite the rather grim circumstances, he didn't seem to be all that heartened by the good news nor did he appear to be all that upset at the bad. This observation came a bit of surprise to the good doctor. He figured he could have been reading his grocery list and still have elicited the same reaction from the young man.
But Ryuuji wasn't truly unemotional over the situation. He just simply didn't know what to feel. The news about his father's mental state didn't come as a complete shock. The previous night's events had, however fortunately or unfortunately, prepared him for that, but his mind spun with thoughts of, "What if?"
What if his father did get better? Ryuuji wondered if things at home would be any different than from before the fire. He certainly had his misgivings. At his best, Mr. Clown could be rather charismatic, if one was able to look past his bent for vengeance. At his worst, he was abusive and a master in the art of manipulation. Ryuuji still felt the sting of being told he was a failure at his one purpose in life, exacting his father's revenge, and it was hard not to feel a little bitter.
So then, what if he didn't get better? The young man wondered if he should feel guilty even contemplating that scenario. Even with all of his obvious faults Mr. Clown was, after all, still his father. However, Ryuuji couldn't help feeling relieved at the thought that his Tousan might be tucked safely away in some mental institution. And if his father was sent away, what then?
Noticing he was under the concerned scrutiny of the doctor, Ryuuji obligingly sunk a little in his chair and knit his brow. "Sorry. It's just… a lot to take in at once. But, um, I trust your judgment, doctor. Tousan should stay here as long as you think necessary." Mollified, the doctor handed him a pamphlet detailing support group information.
"You should consider attending some of these meetings. They will help you find ways of coping."
Ryuuji glanced over the information on the glossy paper. He seriously doubted the meetings would even come close to touching on the things he actually needed to talk about. Occult games, anyone? Instead of giving voice to his opinion, he replied, "Yeah, okay. Thanks. I'll look into it."
The sound of the office door closing behind him added a sense of finality to the whole situation and it left Ryuuji with the realization of how unprepared he was for the implications of yesterday's events. In one fell swoop, everything he ever been taught to believe in was turned upside down. Everything he ever knew, the game shop, the relationship he had with his father, was now gone. Now he had to figure out how to fill that void.
The dice and what he could do with them was always his domain. He'd salvage that part of his old life and continue marketing his game. The crumbling world with its foundation of revenge, well, that belonged to his father. Ryuuji couldn't say he was very sorry to see it go and didn't plan on looking back.
Ever the realist, Ryuuji knew, way back in the recesses of his mind, that what was left of his father was already gone even before the confrontation with Yuugi, and obtaining the Sennen puzzle wouldn't have brought him back. Even if Mr. Clown did come back from the hospital, there was only a small chance that they could rebuild their relationship. They no longer shared the same goals or saw eye to eye, and that left Ryuuji feeling really quite alone. With his father out of the picture, there was no one else.
Lost in thought with hands jammed into his back pockets, Ryuuji walked to the nurse's station, avoiding eye contact with the various passersby. He wanted to go home, but there was one more thing he needed to do before left.
As far as I can tell, there isn't mention of what became of Mr. Clown after the fire so I've taken liberty of filling in the blanks.
Edited November 30,2007