Last chapter "sniff" I just want to say that I couldn't have asked for a lovelier bunch of people to read the ramblings of a mad woman. You are all great! carly may: He was telling her to stop giggling. I don't know if you've had the pleasure but it's very difficult to kiss someone when they are laughing at you. Galaen: You are absolutely right about depression not being something to be ashamed of. But some people, like me, want to keep it a private thing (until they write about it on the internet :P). It's probably not as healthy as getting it out in the open but it's just the way people feel. I LOVE how you can speak so openly about it. I need to learn how to do that.
We went to school the next day. We had planned to keep the relationship low-key so I didn't get put on any cheerleaders' hit-lists.
Our plan backfired, however, when we walked into the homeroom that morning. We must've been walking too close or giving each other a look because Chad seemed to know instantly. "You made out!!" was his delicate way of putting it, shouting it across the room from amongst a crowd of giggling cheerleaders.
Troy got his revenge by shouting "Chad loves Taylor!" when he entered the cafeteria that lunchtime.
Needless to say, Chad was not in a good mood after that.
On the other hand Taylor was practically floating.
This must've been my shortest recovery from a bad patch to date. It seemed that our friendship was still very much intact but it was so much more, and we got the added bonus of kissing in every free moment. Although, the bad points were that things that didn't matter as much when we were just friends seemed to become very important all of a sudden.
Like when he wasn't listening properly or when I didn't understand why he acted one way about a situation that little arguments seemed to arise. Or when I was feeling down and he wanted me to feel happy on that particular day. Or just basically when our personalities seemed to clash instead of mesh. I didn't mind the arguments much because I knew that when the argument was over we'd both say sorry, even if it was the fault of only one of us, and we'd be closer for it.
One of these arguments happened the morning before the fete. We had been putting up the decorations and stalls around the school field. Making sure there were places where people could stand in the shade and get refreshments.
"Troy, I hate those shoes, please wear the other ones," I said off-hand while I tied some balloons to a post. I was feeling grumpy, not depressed just ruffled the wrong way. It was a lot of effort to put into one day, I wanted everything to be perfect so that the Bolton's felt we had really done a good job. And he was wearing those horrible, dirty sneakers. On a day like this? A special event? It wasn't like some stupid high school event; we were carrying on his mother's work.
"What's your problem with these shoes?" he snapped (a little unfairly). "Can't you accept that I like them?" He was working hard too.
"They aren't appropriate!" I said turning around to face him now.
"How aren't they appropriate? I think-"
"I think they need to be thrown out," I interrupted crabbily. "This is a special day, wear your game shoes,"
"Game shoes are only for games!" he shouted. I told him that it was ok to shout at me when I was being an idiot and, unfortunately, now he'd gotten used to it. He wasn't so timid anymore. "These shoes are special,"
I think what made this fight unique was because this time it was all in front of our friends. They had all stopped what they were doing to watch. They had been making jokes earlier in the week about how perfect we were, about how we were going to have a perfect house with a perfect dog and a perfect white picket fence. It didn't bother us that much because we knew that we were anything but perfect as people and, at times, we were bound to collide. This was one of those times.
"No they are not!" I said angrily. "Your game shoes are special, you need to wear them. Those shoes are saying that you don't care,"
"I care," he said, I could hear the hurt in his voice and was about to take it back when he carried on. "Don't be moody today," he said to me and began putting up the decorations again. Moody is our code word for depressed. It's usually uttered in a kind way when he wants to make sure he doesn't push me too hard but this was said resentfully.
But I can't believe he just said that in front our friends! I don't bring up his personal issues!
He started talking again before I could react. "I want to wear these shoes, they are special to me. They are the shoes-"
"They are the shoes that everyone is going to laugh at," I said, spitefully, in retaliation.
As I said before, I can remember having this conversation, but back then we were friends but now we were a couple and everything was intensified. It may have seemed like an argument about shoes but it wasn't. It was an argument about independence within the relationship on his part and I just wanted him to recognise that I had an important point and not every bad mood should be ignored. Halfway through the argument I couldn't care less what shoes he wore.
"I don't care if people laugh at them!" he said "Will you stop interrupting me?"
"Will you stop treating what I say as if it's a personal attack on you?"
"You are attacking me!"
"No I'm not!"
"Forget it!" He threw the decorations to the floor. "You're not going to listen,"
He walked out and off the field.
I flicked the hair out of my face huffily and picked up the discarded decorations and finished his job for him. Our friends hadn't moved yet. I had been ignoring them until I heard snuffling.
I swivelled around to see Kelsi trying to stop herself from crying. Jason had a protective arm around her.
"Why are you crying?" I snapped then realised how mean I sounded. "Sorry Kelsi, I didn't mean to shout. What's wrong?"
"She's scared that you're breaking up," Jason spoke for her then handed her a tissue.
"Is everything alright with you guys?" Taylor asked anxiously.
"Guys!" I laughed. "It's just a fight, we're not breaking up!"
"We've never see you fight before," Chad said. "I don't think I've seen Troy so angry since I broke his spud gun in fourth grade,"
"Do you think he was really upset?" I said looking after where he had disappeared.
"He must've had a reason for wanting to wear the shoes," Sharpay said authoritatively "Nobody would wear shoes like that otherwise,"
They all nodded and I felt stupid.
"I'd better go and find him," I sighed.
Well I searched everywhere, in the gym I found his father, he said he hadn't seen him. Coach Bolton looked older now but he was slowly getting better. He was a lot quieter than he had been but still managed to boom his voice in sport's lessons. He was a man healing. Troy was still healing too, I shouldn't have started a fight with him today.
I looked in the changing rooms briefly then in the drama room, flicked my eyes upward towards Elmo as I always do, then searched everywhere else I could think of. I tried calling his cell, then his home phone but nobody was picking up.
I flicked the hair out of my face and went back to the field to where the guys were finishing up. People were already arriving to set up stalls and entertainment. It was going to start in a few minutes and Troy was going to miss it. I couldn't help feeling annoyed with him. It was just selfish. All the work I had put in.
I gave one last call on his cell then to his home phone and went to join the gathering crowd in front of the stage. There was going to be a speech before the fete started. Something to remind us why we were there.
Coach Bolton took the stage and stood awkwardly behind the microphone.
"To start I would like to thank everyone who is here today to partake in what has become such a wonderful event," he started shakily. "I know my wife would've loved to be here to see you all. I must confess that she probably knew all your names better than I do. That was just who she was. She had time for everyone; she was a mother to many, a sister to all she knew and friend to those she hadn't yet had the pleasure. She loved to touch people's lives and invested most of her time to charity work. In that respect this will be a charity event.
I'd like to say that if it weren't for love and support of this town and this amazing school my son, Troy, and I probably wouldn't be able to make it here…"
I looked around for Troy. Why was he missing this?
"Before the accident I can remember her telling me enthusiastically about the plans she had for this bake sale. I think this is far beyond her expectations and far beyond what she could've even dreamed up. This has meant so much to Troy and I that I just wanted to say one great Thank you to everyone whoever knew Susan and whoever knew what a pleasure it was to be around her.
So thank you,"
Mr Bolton cleared his throat and left the stage. People gave a sad ripple of applause, their minds very much on Susan. Those who near her very well were there to greet him off the stage. Kelsi started playing a small number on the piano, it wasn't a sad piece, just something to lighten the mood slightly and let people know that it was time to get into positions ready for the guests.
Tears were threatening to fall. I could believe that Troy had missed his Dad's speech. I walked over to the shade under the trees. I should've been at a stall with Chad and Taylor but I had a looming feeling that I was about to have a little crying session.
I flipped open my cell one last time, found Troy in my contacts and pressed it against my ear. To my surprise the familiar ring tone was coming from behind me. I got off the tree I was leaning on and walked around to the other side to find Troy sitting beneath the branches.
He had tears in his eyes too. He hadn't started crying yet. He had told me yesterday that he had been rationing his tears otherwise people might think he was a wimp if he cried too much. I had replied that anyone who thought he was a wimp was a moron.
I sat down next to him, pulled his arm around me and leaned my head on his shoulder.
"I'm sorry. You can wear the shoes if you want," I said feebly.
He chuckled. "I'm sorry I said you were in a mood when you weren't," So he did know how to tell the difference between depressed and just grumpy. "…and for walking out in the middle of an argument….and for shouting…and for saying you were attacking me-"
"Troy, one sorry covers all those things. I don't need a list," I joked and nudged him. "I wasn't listening before. Please tell me why you want to wear the shoes,"
"You want to know why I want to wear the shoes?" he asked, grinning.
I nodded.
"Ok…" he cleared his throat and looked at them quizzically, "I was wearing them the first time Mom told me I should ask the new girl out. Her exact words were 'You better ask that girl out or I'll do it for you,'" I laughed. He continued. "Then I said 'You better not, she already thinks I'm a loser,'" I grabbed his hand and giggled.
"Then we got into the car," he sighed.
I looked at the shoes again. "They're good shoes," I conceded.
"I can go and get my game shoes if you want?" he said turning to kiss the top of my head.
"No," I said quickly. "Don't be stupid. Games shoes are for games only,"
He chuckled.
"I love you," he whispered.
"I love you too,"
The End.
Love you guys!! Ta ta for now!!
PS: I expect everyone who has been reading to give this chapter one review! Yes, that's right even those silent readers out there! THAT MEANS YOU "points scarily at the screen"