Try As I Might (Extended Version)

Two days had passed since the team had found JJ. The doctor had decided to keep her another day, much to JJ's dislike. She was currently lying in bed when there was a knock on her door.

"Come in," she called, sitting up. She smiled when she saw Garcia walked in with a big arrangement of flowers.

"Hey," Garcia said, setting the flowers on the table next to the window.

"Hi. Thanks for the flowers. They're beautiful," JJ replied.

"How are you feeling?" Garcia asked.

"I just want to get out of here. I'm tired of lying in a bed. It's all I've been doing for the last five days," she complained, laughing a little at the end. Garcia didn't see the humor in her friend's statement.

"Oh come on, Garcia. I can find it funny can't I? I mean I made it out alive," JJ said.

"I know. Tomorrow is the bail hearing," Garcia sighed. She knew she should have come up with something else to talk about but part of her wanted to keep JJ informed.

"I don't know if I'll be able to make it," JJ answered.

"I'm sure the doctor will release you soon," Garcia tried to reassure her friend.

"So how are you doing?" JJ asked.

"I've been better. I don't think any of us have gotten much sleep in the last five days. I know I won't sleep well until this is all over," Garcia admitted.

"Sometimes I think that she's right…that I should have known better," JJ murmured.

"Don't think like that," Garcia said, laying a hand on JJ's forearm.

"How is Reid handling all of this?" JJ finally asked. She'd heard that he wanted to propose to Elle.

"He's been hiding out in his apartment since yesterday. I think he's really depressed," Garcia answered, looking down.

"I don't blame him. She broke his heart from what Gideon told me," JJ sighed.

"This is all so insane. She used to be one of us," Garcia breathed.

"We're armed with really powerful tools, Garcia. It kind of makes sense that she'd be a near perfect unsub," JJ commented.

"Yeah…but it's just really creepy to think about," Garcia said with a small shiver.

They fell into silence for a while. JJ was glad that Garcia had come. It was a friendly face and one she didn't get to see very often…at least not as much as she would like. Garcia was about to open her mouth to speak when JJ's doctor walked in.

"Sorry to interrupt ladies but JJ, you can go home now," he said. JJ smiled broadly and threw off the covers. With a smile, the doctor walked out to let JJ get changed.

"Want me to drive you home?" Garcia asked as JJ pulled her belt through the loops in her pants.

"That would be great," JJ answered as Garcia picked up the bouquet of flowers. Together they headed down in the elevator and climbed into Garcia's car. The drive was quiet except for the radio playing softly in the background. When they finally pulled up, JJ's eyes widened. The crime tape was still blocking her door.

"I guess they haven't taken things down yet," Garcia murmured as JJ tore the tape off. She noticed metallic powder on the door handles.

Aside from the obvious crime scene collection residue the rest of the house looked normal…until she walked into the kitchen. Her eyes fell on the giant coffee grind mess.

"You go missing for three days and they can't even bother to clean up?" JJ groaned.

"That was actually here when we got here," Garcia piped up. JJ raised an eyebrow at first and then remembered she'd been making coffee when Elle had caught her off guard.

"Oh right…" she mumbled. She got a rag and a bucket and started to clean up the mess. Garcia set the flowers on the kitchen table and got down to help her. Together they managed to clean up the floor and most of the powder off the doorknobs.

"Now I know how civilians feel when we go in and search their place," JJ said, sitting on the couch with a glass of water in her hand.

"Yeah…I wouldn't want us traipsing through my house either," Garcia agreed.

The following morning, JJ was up early and dressed. She didn't know why but she felt she needed to get to the courthouse early. She pulled into a spot and climbed out of her. After making it through security she let her legs take her where they wanted to go. They brought her to the holding cell. After arguing with the security guard for a good five minutes she was finally admitted inside. She found Elle buttoning the top button of her shirt.

"Well this is something I didn't expect," Elle stated.

"Guess you don't know everything," JJ said, arms crossed over her chest. Elle pulled on her jacket as she eyed JJ.

"So what are you doing here?" she asked.

"I don't really know, actually. You hurt a lot of people," JJ replied.

"Don't lecture me, JJ," Elle snapped.

"And I'd leave before anyone else gets here. We don't want them to think you're double-crossing them," she added.

"I'm sorry you felt you had to do this to make a point," JJ murmured as she turned to leave.

"Yeah…I'm sorry too," Elle called after her.

JJ walked out of the holding block and headed for the main courtroom. She was still too early to be let in. So she took a seat on a nearby bench and waited, her eyes scanning the sharply dressed men and women for anyone she recognized. Finally Hotch and the rest of the team showed up.

"JJ, do I want to know how long you've been here?" Morgan asked as she stood up.

"Oh since about 8:30," JJ answered. He just shook his head. She noticed how anxious Reid looked. He had dark circles under his eyes, darker than usual at least. He was avoiding eye contact with everyone and didn't say a word as they took seats near the front of the court room. Hotch leaned up and whispered something to the Prosecutor.

"He probably wishes he could prosecute this case," Morgan whispered to Emily.

"I don't blame him," she answered.

Reid's eyes wandered over to the defense table. It was empty. He could feel his palms begin to sweat as they waited for Elle to be brought in and for the judge to enter. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the bailiff walked Elle in. She was impeccably dressed and was without legal counsel.

"All rise," the bailiff boomed some ten minutes later. The judge walked in and took his seat behind the bench. The first thing he noticed was the fact that Elle was standing alone.

"Miss Greenaway where is your attorney?" he asked, looking down at her over the top of his glasses.

"With all due respect, Your Honor, I don't need an attorney," Elle answered.

"You're going to represent yourself then?" he asked and she nodded.

"So noted," he muttered, making note of it with a pen. He cleared his throat before looking over at the Prosecutor.

"Is Counsel ready?" he asked.

"Yes, Your Honor," the Prosecutor answered. The team watched with baited breath for the question that was on all of their minds.

"Miss Greenaway, on the count of kidnapping in the first degree. How do you plead?" the judge asked. All eyes were on Elle as her lips parted to answer his question.

"Guilty," she replied. Morgan's jaw dropped at her response.

"Did I hear her right?" he hissed in Gideon's ear. Gideon nodded his head very slowly, making sure that he had heard correctly. Apparently the judge was wondering the same thing.

"You're sure?" the judge asked.

"Yes, Your Honor. I'm fairly certain the prosecution has a strong case against me. I could stand here right now and give you the basic points but that would waste the court's time," Elle began to answer.

"And I wouldn't want to waste court time and money with a trial," she concluded.

"Very well then. The defendant enters a plea of guilty. Be back here on Wednesday for sentencing," the judge announced.

"Bailiff, please escort Miss Greenaway back to the holding block," he said. Elle stood up and followed the bailiff out.

"Court dismissed. Next case," the judge called.

The team filed out in silence. That had not gone the way any of them had expected. Hotch shook hands with the Prosecutor and watched him walk away.

"She's still in control," Gideon said once they were clear of the courtroom.

"How so?" Emily asked.

"She knew we'd want to bring her to trial. By pleading guilty, there is no trial," Hotch replied.

"She got exactly what she wanted," JJ murmured. Garcia raised an eyebrow.

"She wanted to be caught. She wanted to go to jail," JJ expounded.

"Why?" Reid asked; the first word he'd said in nearly two days.

"I don't know, Spence. I wish I did," JJ replied, squeezing his arm. With that the team headed back to headquarters. Two days later Hotch received a call from the prosecutor and brought everyone into the conference room.

"She got fifteen years," he announced. So that was it…it was over. They could move on with their lives.

A week later he found himself walking into a visitation room. He had barely spoken to anyone since the verdict had been reached. But he needed to see her. He needed to tell her he still loved her. When he saw her walk in, his throat went dry.

"Spencer, what are you doing here?" Elle asked, sitting down across from him.

"I…I love you, Elle. I know I shouldn't after what happened but I do," he confessed, trying to take one of her hands in his. Elle let out a breath.

"You're young. You're brilliant…but you're young. You deserve better than what I've given you," she whispered, lifting his chin so their eyes met.

"But I want…" he tried to say but she shushed him.

"I want you to make me a promise," she said gently. He nodded, wiping at his eyes. She allowed him to take her hands in his this time.

"I want you to let me go. I want you to move on…and please don't come back here again," she said and stood up.

"Elle…wait," Reid called out to her. She stopped and looked over her shoulder.

"Goodbye, Spencer," she said and disappeared between two guards.