The first thing they noticed was that the white had a floor now. It was marble, and very nice. Good solid stuff.

The Administrator of Heaven was glaring at them over his glasses. "What do you have to say for yourselves?"

There was a long silence.

"Ow?" Gavroche ventured.

"What my brother means," Eponine intoned, "Is that we have completed our task."

The Administrator snorted. "You have."

Gavroche was still a little dazed. "So now we get to go to heaven, right?"

"Oh yes, of course, go right on ahead."

They stared at one another in confusion. Finally, they began to walk by the Administrator.

A hand stopped Javert mid-step.

"Not so fast. They are cleared. You are not."

Javert stared for a moment, then his shoulders dropped. "Yes. I had suspected as much."

Eponine and Gavroche whirled around. "What?"

"You completed your task," the Administrator explained, "But you were not successful. Javert was not significantly redeemed. He is bound for hell."

Gavroche grabbed the Administrator's coattails. "You listen to me—"

Eponine interrupted. "There must be some mistake. He cares for us—"

The Administrator shook his head. "That is up for debate. The bargain is not complete. In the fire, he allowed you to die."

"He died trying to save us!"

"And he failed."

"HEY."

All eyes turned to Gavroche.

"Who's in charge here?"

"Well, that would be--"

"Take us to him."

The Administrator blinked, nonplussed, but finally shrugged. "Suit yourself."

He led them down a long hallway, twisting and curling through spaces that shouldn't exist, and into a room the size of which they could not be sure.

The Administrator bowed low. "The three barricade cases you inquired about, My Lady."

They stared.

Seated behind a sturdy wooden desk, at the end of a long, unadorned room was the most terrifying woman any of them had ever seen. Her long platinum hair flowed unbound down her back, which was ramrod straight. Intense blue eyes stared out from behind round, wire-rimmed glasses which sat on a perfect, angular nose. She wore a plain gray double-breasted jacket and slacks with a blue ascot.

She was beautiful. There was no denying it. But she radiated power of a nature so absolute that she became master of whatever domain she found herself in.

"Well?" she snapped, white-gloved hands reaching out to extract a document from the pile of papers on her desk.

Eponine and Gavroche looked instinctively to Javert, but for the first time in his life (or afterlife, for that matter) the former policeman was cowed. "I, ah... who...?"

A polite cough reminded them that the Administrator was still present. They turned to him, seeking some explanation. Adjusting his glasses, he stared down his nose at each of them in turn. "You have the honor of addressing Her Divine Grace, Mother of All Creation, The Alpha and The Omega, the Omnipresent and Omnipotent Power Beyond Powers, Queen of Queens, the—"

"Yes, thank you Gabriel, that's enough." She was gazing steadily at the family of mortals before her. "Now. Explain to us what you three are doing in the middle of our bloody office."

With his face set in an expression more grim than usual, Javert squared his shoulders and stepped forward. However, before he could speak, Eponine and Gavroche pushed in front of him. Eponine was the first to speak. "My Lady," she said, her voice quivering, "I beg of you. Don't take Javert away from my brother and I. It wasn't his fault that we died! There was no way he could have saved us. I would sooner condemn myself to the Flames than Javert. Please, have mercy!"

Divinity's face never changed in its severe expression. "We see no reason for us to make an exception in our agreement. This man let you die--surely he cannot, then, truly care for you."

Gavroche stormed forward. Javert reached out to grasp at his collar, but his fingers fell just short and the little urchin marched straight up to the desk of The Almighty. "Now you listen here! Javert's a good father, and I should know, I've had a bad one! You can't toss him out on the seat of his damn trousers just 'cause he don't fit every letter in the twice-accursed contract! Throw me into whatever fiery pit you like, but—"

"THAT IS QUITE ENOUGH, GAVROCHE THENARDIER." The Absolute did not change in her stature, nor did she move so much as an inch from her original position. Nonetheless, she seemed in that moment to grow. Suddenly she was the earth and the sky, the sand and the sea, the sun and the moon. She was every man, woman and child who had ever been born, or ever would be. She was the world.

And then, quite abruptly, she was not.

"You're free to go." She returned to her paperwork, waving absent-mindedly to the wall on the left where, quite suddenly, there really was no wall at all. Instead a pair of silver-white gates swung open, revealing an endless expanse of—

Well. I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise.

Javert stared back at the woman behind the desk, who was now casually reading through some sheet of divine hogwash. "I don't understand."

The Supreme Power scrawled an unintelligible signature at the bottom of the document. "We knew, of course, that you cared for them—you gave your life in an attempt to save theirs, do you think we are completely daft? Until now, however, we were not certain that they had come to love you. After all, that was a part of our agreement. But, considering the fact that in their ways they both offered themselves in your stead, we believe we have confirmed their affection."

Eponine stared. "So, this was all—"

"A test, yes. You are dismissed. I still have those revolutionaries to deal with, I can't be bothered with you all day."

Gavroche was aghast. "Of all the stupid bloody—" But Eponine had clapped a hand over his mouth.

Javert was still blinking in awe at the bespectacled woman who had just casually wiped his slate clean. He felt a tug, and looked down to see the Thenardier children gazing up at him. Slowly, a genuine smile spread across his face. Taking each of them by the hand, he turned to face the Pearly Gates.

Gavroche looked thoughtful. "You don't suppose Heaven has peach tarts, do you?"

Javert shrugged. "I'm sure we can arrange for some."

Eponine rolled her eyes. "Men. Off to Paradise, and all you can think of are your stomachs."

And so, laughing, Javert, Eponine and Gavroche crossed the border into Eternity.

*

God looked up briefly to watch them go, shaking her head. "It's a bloody inconvenience."

"Then why do you do it?"

She rolled her eyes. "Why do you think?"

In the center of the room a man materialized. He wore a long red coat to match his red fedora, and his wild black hair fell across burning scarlet eyes. "A sense of love and compassion for the human race?" He grinned.

The Ultimate let out a barking laugh. "Too often I forget your comedic genius, Lucifer."

Suddenly he was behind her, removing one of her white gloves to play with her fingers. "Ah, but it's true!" He sounded delighted.

She sighed. "Am I so transparent?"

He laughed. "Only to me, Holy Ghost." Then his expression changed. He bared his teeth. "When are the little ones' parents due?"

"In their time, Satan, as always."

"I could teach them something of evil—"

Her lips caught his. "Easy, Beast. The world turns. Good and Evil are not ours to control."

With a chuckle, he buried his face in her hair. "Then who holds the strings of Fate, my Ancient of Days?"

Yahweh smiled. "Who else but Man?"

A/N: The end. I'm sorry if that didn't float your boat, but at least I didn't leave you hanging. If you recognized God and the Devil congratulations, you watch too much Hellsing. And I hope you don't hate me forever now. I probably won't be posting here a lot anymore, I think I'm sort of done with .

You can fine me on y!Gallery if you like. Under the name CantikErsatz.

If you've stuck with me all through this, thank you. I don't deserve you. And I really hope I haven't ruined everything with these last chapters.

That's all.