CREATURES GREAT AND SMALL

Chapter 25

„That," said Deanna Troi severely, „was not what I had in mind when I said you shouldn't let it get out of hand."

Riker had the grace to look uncomfortable for about two seconds. „It didn't get out of hand, exactly," he explained. „When she mentioned the word allergy it just fell into place. It was too perfect to be missed. Especially when he... Deanna, did you know the captain's a member of the Animal Sanctity Association?"

„He's a what?" she squeaked.

„Animal Sanctity Association," he grinned. „Honestly. I didn't make that up. Somebody recruited him eight years ago, and he says he hasn't got around to cancelling it. When he told me that – well, what could I do?"

Her lips quivered. „It was still infamous," she declared primly. „Pet allergy – Will, how could you? And I'll have to help Worf get over a major trauma. But I wish I had been here… if only to stop it in time." She paused, a tiny giggle escaping her. She smothered it hastily. „It's good to be back," she declared then. „I got those oskoids for you, by the way."

„Great," he said, smiling at her. „They don't have chocolate on Yalnrag. But I got Secretary Ghanig to procure me a box of sweets from the best shop in town. For what it's worth – wait until I've told you all about whitefood and darkfood."

„Still, thank you." She returned the smile. „We could have dinner together."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The universe had returned to some semblance of sanity – at least as far as Lieutenant Worf was concerned. The Enterprise was still in orbit around Brentalia, unloading the last of the team of zoologists and their gear, but they would be leaving within the hour. The loathsome animals were gone. So were the troublesome priests and the rest of their guardians – tambourines and all. So was the danger to the captain. So was the tribble. He did feel a twinge of regret that the emissary was gone as well. She was a charming lady. It was a pity he wouldn't have another opportunity to discuss Klingon ethics with her.

What remained was a faint suspicion that he had been missing something all along. Several things did not quite add up, and they bothered him – some of them more than others. Lieutenant Worf found himself frowning when he tried to sort them out.

There was this business about the captain, for one. Riker had more or less sworn that the captain was a member of something called the Animal Sanctity Association. The mere idea offended him. He had never heard of the Animal Sanctity Association before, and he didn't want to. He liked to believe that he knew quite a lot about his commanding officer. It didn't make sense.

He would work it out later he decided. It was time to get back to the bridge.

He had barely stepped out into the corridor when he saw Susana Melendez rounding a corner, pausing for a moment on seeing him and then making for him at a brisk trot, her short dark curls dancing. She was carrying an equipment kit over her shoulder, evidently ready to beam down to Brentalia and join her colleagues.

„The animals are assimilating without trouble," he concluded – not because the brutes interested him (they didn't, now they were gone) but in order to be polite.

She smiled up at him. „Precisely. And I'm leaving too now. Barring any incidents we'll rejoin the ship in nine days. It's been a pleasure working with you, Lieutenant Worf."

He was taken aback, just a little. „It has been an honor," he stated gravely.

„And I thought," she added, the smile turning conspiratorial, „that maybe you would like to have this. As a souvenir of Yalnrag," she finished with a distinct twinkle, handing him a small folder before hurrying back down the corridor towards the nearest turbolift. He shook his head and retreated inside, waiting for the door to close before he opened the folder.

It was a full-length watercolor painting of himself, knee-deep in the windblown bluish grass of a hilltop, the sample container slung over his shoulder. He frowned, embarrassed, and pushed it back into the folder. Then he took it out again to have a look. Actually, he decided after a moment, it wasn't such a bad-looking picture at all. He held it at arm's length to study it, beginning to feel rather elated. It was in fact quite a good-looking picture. He tilted it, looking at it from a different angle. He had never realized that she painted people as well as landscapes. So this was how he looked to his crewmates.

He returned the watercolor to its folder rather hastily when he realized that he had been standing there feeling flattered when he should have been on the bridge, doing his duty. It was ridiculous. Klingons did not succumb to vanity. He put the folder away on a shelf with a brief derisive snort, and hurriedly left his quarters.

Brentalia with its numerous small continents and archipelagos was still turning beneath them when he stepped out onto the bridge. Riker was lounging in the center chair, and Troi was there as well, looking relaxed and giving him a delighted smile when he took up his usual position. She was opening her mouth, presumably to greet him, when the captain's voice came over the intercom.

„Lieutenant Worf? Would you join me in my ready room for a moment?"

„On my way, Captain." He relinquished his station and made his way down the ramp.

Picard was just switching off his small terminal when Worf entered. „Ah, Lieutenant."

„You wanted to see me, Captain."

„Yes. In fact I wanted to thank you. I'm well aware that this has been a difficult mission for you. You did an exemplary job under trying circumstances. I appreciate your patience, and especially your tolerance." There was a distinct smile in Picard's eyes. „Well done, Mr. Worf."

Worf opened his mouth and shut it again. He had been doing his duty. It had been trying. It did not matter; doing his duty was what mattered. Still, the captain's praise honored him. After a couple of seconds he said: „Thank you, sir."

„I am also aware," the captain continued, „that some aspects of your assignment turned out more difficult than strictly necessary. For what it's worth, I wouldn't have asked you to endure the company of a tribble had I known of its existence. I am sorry for that."

Worf straightened his shoulders. "Thank you, Captain. It was… nothing."

„Well, at the very least you'll hardly regret being rid of this spacegoing circus, Lieutenant," said Picard, amused.

Worf frowned, momentarily distracted. „Circus, sir?"

„Oh." The captain leaned back in his chair and tried, not entirely successfully, to stifle a yawn. „A very ancient form of Earth entertainment, involving performing animals. And usually a great deal of noise."

Worf's eyes narrowed. „Sir," he began, tentatively.

„Yes, Mr. Worf?"

It wasn't the sort of thing he would usually ask his commanding officer. But the thought of it had been nagging him ever since Riker's disclosure, and now he felt more doubtful about it than ever.

„Commander Riker... informed me that you are a member of the Animal Sanctity Association. I was not aware of this. He may have been mistaken," Worf added, hopefully.

For a moment Picard's eyes rested thoughtfully on the blank monitor sitting on his desk. Worf had an odd impression that the captain was debating something with himself. Then he looked up.

„No, Mr. Worf," he said gently. „You are quite correct. I am not a member of the Animal Sanctity Association."

„Yes, sir." Worf was aware of a feeling of gratitude. His captain wouldn't play him such a trick. Riker had been making fun of him as usual. He had known it all along.

"It is an honorable organization, though, doing valuable work," continued the captain. "There is nothing wrong with belonging to it, or to a similar organization. Commander Riker, for example, is a member of CUP."

Worf had never heard of CUP, and for a moment he hesitated. Something told him that it might be better not to ask. But in the end curiosity won out.

"CUP, sir?"

"Chorea Universalis Parorum, or the Universal Dance of Equals," the captain explained readily. "An organization working towards recognition of their belief that all lifeforms should have a say in the running of their respective home planets."

Worf swallowed. "All lifeforms."

"Yes, Mr. Worf. All lifeforms."

Silence. For some reason Worf found himself thinking, not of the ngahyak but of the tribble.

"And –" He was quite sure that he had heard correctly. And this, after all, was not Commander Riker. It would be uncharacteristic to the point of absurdity for the captain to be making fun of him in this manner. But he had to make sure.

"And… Commander Riker is a member."

"According to Emissary Tyr-Aurell, he is. You will admit, Lieutenant, that the emissary is a trustworthy source, and she informed me of this circumstance herself over dinner last night." A beat. "I am not entirely sure, because she did not say so in so many words, but I have a feeling" – and now, for a fraction of a second, Worf was quite sure that the captain was smiling – "that it may in fact be a gift membership, in which case the commander may as yet be unaware of the fact." Picard got to his feet. „If that is all, Lieutenant –"

„Yes, sir," Worf said reverently, letting Picard precede him onto the bridge.

„Sir," Takamura announced from Ops almost the moment Riker had vacated the center seat, „Commander Data's shuttle is launching from shuttlebay three now. He is hailing the bridge, Captain."

„On screen." Picard settled in his chair, crossing one leg over the other.

Data's face appeared on the main viewer. „Captain," he began, formally. „Requesting permission to leave the ship."

"Certainly, Data, permission is granted. I hope and trust you'll enjoy yourself on Pacifica – we'll see you in two to three weeks in the Horth sector, then."

„Yes, Captain. I would also like to thank Commander Riker for his kind offer. The matter has been of some concern to me, especially considering the fact that Spot does not seem to care for the majority of crew members."

Riker blinked. „Sorry, Data, I didn't quite get that. What are you thanking me for?"

„Your very kind offer to look after Spot for me during my absence, Commander," Data explained with guileless serenity. „It is much appreciated. I will now be able to devote myself to the conference with a minimum of distractions. Data out."

„Wait a –" sputtered Riker, but the screen had already reverted to the image of Brentalia. „Sir, what the hell did he mean by it? I didn't offer to look after his infernal cat. I wouldn't have if he'd given me the opportunity, and he never asked! The brute hates me! I'd like to know what gave him the idea –"

„O dear," said the captain, looking a little disconcerted. „That's rather unfortunate. Ensign, please take us out of orbit. Plot a course for Starbase 122, warp five. – You see, I am afraid I made that offer in your name, Will. I assumed that since you had been looking after the animal before you wouldn't mind."

Riker swallowed visibly. „Sir, with all due respect, I do mind. You've never met that animal. I don't know why he doesn't just leave it with the exobiology department, in a padlocked box. That cat is dangerous. And if you don't mind my saying it, if the brute really must be looked after by a senior officer every time, why don't you have a go at it, Captain? The animal might like you better than it likes me."

„Course plotted and laid in," Ensign Giustini announced from the conn.

„That may be, Number One," conceded the captain, and Troi turned her head quite abruptly to look at him with very slightly narrowed eyes. „But I am afraid that is quite out of the question. Will, you must have heard by now that I'm allergic to pets." He raised his hand a little, savoring the moment. „Engage."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(The End)

Author's Notes/Postscript:

Whew. That did take longer than I thought it would. Or should.

Thank you all for your time, your patience and your feedback! You have been very entertaining, and very inspiring. I hope this has been mildly amusing in return.

And now for something completely different that should dispel some of the smell of cotton candy I sense hanging in the air.

There is another story here. I had no intention of uploading it, for the simple reason that it is incomplete, but I think I've changed my mind about that.

The finished bits amount to about one half of a full-length novel. I'm relatively happy with them as they stand; a little revising should do it. After that the going might get difficult, both for me (because very little of what follows is actually written down, although I know what happens) and for my readers (because that story, if finished, will have some very ugly moments). But for all I know it may stay unfinished for eternity. If you want to go along with this, I'll see you out there.