First posted on my writing archive on June 20, 2007.
Title: Shine Brighter
Wordcount/Rating: 1650+ words / gen
Spoilers/Warnings: Apocalyptic canon extension. Mention of possible (off-stage) character death.
Summary: Finding himself suddenly homeless, Touya joins Shindou and begins the task of survival with them.
Author's Notes: Written for akirachan's prompt on genchallenge (Hikaru no Go, subway ride, Akira and Hikaru). My original idea was them playing go using the subway lines. This, however, pushed that one out. I think I lost the "ride" part when this prompt simply became "subway" in my head. It wasn't even supposed to be this long--it was meant to be 300 or so words.
"Almost there. It's up ahead," Shindou said, gesturing with his flashlight.
The movement made the yellow circle of light dance madly in the darkness, skittering over darkness and reflective surfaces wildly. Touya could see a faint yellow glow flickering around a corner, a little higher up. They were almost to the station now, and Shindou sang softly as he walked, the melody echoing strangely in the tunnel. Touya recognized it as a song that had been popular when the war began.
... I want to be the best / shine brighter than anyone else / even here with my friends surrounding me / I can do something no one else can ...
"Who sang that?" Touya said, trying to make conversation.
"I forgot," Shindou said, shrugging, grinning at Touya. "Great song, though. Wonder if they're still alive?"
"Shindou!" Touya said, frowning.
"What?" Shindou said, looking at Touya strangely. "It's not as if we know either way."
Touya was about to tell Shindou it was rude to speak of the dead when he realized it was true, one didn't know whether others you couldn't contact were dead or alive. His father, Ogata-san, Saeki-san, Ashiwara-san ... he didn't know where they were now. Perhaps they were buried under rubble; perhaps they had managed to escape before the bomb had hit. In fact, if he hadn't been outside looking for some more food, he might have been buried under it himself.
Had that really only happened yesterday?
Touya fell silent again. It occured to him that for someone who might possibly just have been orphaned, he wasn't quite feeling very sad. Had he been such a a cold-hearted person after all? His footsteps echoed around him, and the backpack he was carrying felt even heavier now.
Shindou forged ahead. Touya could hear conversation, now. "You can't do that, Isumi-san," someone said. He guessed it was Waya, though he didn't know the other's voice very well and couldn't be sure.
"Sure he can," said another voice, this one unfamiliar. "Isumi's got you cornered now, Waya-kun. Now what are you going to do about it?"
Shindou had stopped humming, but there was a smile on his face as Touya looked over. "We're here," Shindou said, and Touya looked over. "Come on, Touya," he said, climbing up the steps that led up to the station from their small pebbled path beside the tracks as if he wasn't carrying a backpack twice again as large as Touya's.
Touya placed a hand on the metal and felt some dried paint chip and flake away under his touch. A few bits of what were probably paint flakes scraped off the top rung and fell onto Touya's hands as Shindou reached the top.
"Hey guys, look what I found," Touya could hear Shindou say.
"What is it?" Touya heard as he followed Shindou up the stairs.
Touya's head cleared the top of the platform and he found a small gathering before him. There were some flat shapes laid out, and away in a corner there was a small tent. Isumi and Waya sat facing each other across a goban, while another boy in a hakama fanned himself with a folding fan. Next to them was a small fire, and three people gathered around that, apparently cooking.
Shindou dropped the plastic bag before them. "A week's worth of ramen," he announced proudly. "I found a convenience store no one's looted yet."
"Shindou-kun, you did bring back other things besides ramen, right?" a boy with big round glasses asked.
"Yeah, yeah," Shindou said, removing his backpack and setting it on the floor with a thump. He set to opening it. "Painkillers, antiseptic, and ..." He rummaged deeper, arm fishing through its contents, but then thought better of it. Instead, Shindou turned the bag upside down, spilling its contents onto the floor around him.
"Shindou!" a girl said, even as Waya's eyes widened. "Chocolate!"
Isumi picked up a shrinkwrapped rectangle of plastic, and then smiled. "More gobans. You never change, Shindou."
"Touya's got more useful things in his backpack," Shindou said. "He found more water filters."
The others fell silent, heads turning to look at Touya, as if they'd just realised that there was a newcomer in their midst. Isumi was the first to speak. "Welcome," he said kindly.
"Forgive me for the intrusion," Touya said in a small voice.
"I met him in Mita," Shindou said. "He said he didn't have a place to go anymore. They bombed it yesterday."
"Bombs fell over Ginza," the boy in the hakama said, folding his fan. "Were you living there?" Touya nodded. "Who else was with you?"
"Ashiwara-san, Saeki-san, Ogata-san, and my father. However, I'm afraid I don't know where they are now." Touya was proud of how calm his voice sounded.
Waya and the boy with the big glasses winced. Isumi and the boy with the fan looked at each other, and then Isumi turned to Shindou. "Shindou, go help Fujisaki-san and the others with the cooking. Touya-san, please, join us for dinner."
Touya hesitated, but it wasn't as if he had anything else to do right now. "That's very kind of you. Thank you. I'm sorry to intrude." He knelt beside Isumi, and watched the game, listening to Waya and the boy with the fan bicker, Isumi occasionally say something, and Shindou argue with someone called Akari--oh, that was Fujisaki-san--beside the fire.
He opened his eyes to see darkness above him and quiet conversation a short distance away. "--n't see anyone else," he heard.
Touya tried to sit up. His body ached, and he felt exhausted. He hadn't realized he'd fallen asleep, but apparently they'd put him into a sleeping bag without his noticing. It was next to the wall, and he leaned against the cool concrete, watching the others quietly. "Ginza was hit badly," the boy with the fan said. "Tsutsui and I detoured a little on yesterday's excursion to take a look."
"Kaga wanted to see if it was a precursor to landing," Tsutsui said, pushing up big round glasses.
"It never hurts to be careful," Kaga said.
Shindou turned to say something, and then paused and waved as he noticed Touya. "Rise and shine, Touya! We saved you some dinner."
It would not have been polite to stay there in the sleeping bag, as much as Touya wanted to. "Thank you," he said, slowly getting up.
He walked over, wishing his body would not ache so much. Finally settled with only a minimum amount of difficulty between Isumi and Shindou, Touya accepted the paper plate Fujisaki passed to him gratefully. He ate silently, not joining in the conversation. It was good that no one tried too hard to talk to him, Touya thought with a small amount of relief. It was uncharacteristic of himself, but he could not understand the topics they discussed whenever it required following any sort of train of thought.
The last bit was the part that must have been responsible for his ending up in a sleeping bag not too long after that. "You're welcome to stay with us," Isumi had said to him quietly, and Touya had not known what to say except to nod numbly and accept the sleeping bag someone had put into his arms.
He wasn't sure how he had gotten from there to lying in the sleeping bag on the end next to Shindou. Shindou was humming that song again. Then Touya realized it wasn't humming, but soft singing.
... brighter than anyone else / even here with my friends surrounding me ...
It was slightly off-key, and even though it was very soft, the sound still managed to echo softly around the station and down the tunnels.
Touya wanted to tell Shindou to be quiet, because surely everyone else wanted to rest, but though he opened his mouth, the words wouldn't come. Instead, he felt his throat swelling. He turned on his side and shrank into the bag's warmth, and wondered if he was getting sick. He must be. Perhaps if he wasn't better in the morning, he would ask Fujisaki-san for some aspirin, or make a trip outside. There would be drugstores in this area, and it shouldn't be hard to get something.
"Father."
He didn't even know he'd said the word until he heard it. Then his chest contracted tightly, and Touya wondered if the world was ending, because everything hurt, and he curled up as much as he could in the sleeping bag, bringing his knees up halfway before it was caught in the zipper. He tried to speak, but all that came out was a pained gasp, the rest of it catching in his throat.
Somehow, the singing had stopped, and now someone had their arms around Touya's sleeping bag and was hugging him. "Oh. Shit. Touya, don't fe-- oh man, that's not the right thing to say right now, is it?"
It was stupid, it sounded stupid, and Touya wished he could stop hurting so that he could tell Shindou to be quiet and let go. The only sound that came out was a sob that shook Touya's body and made him curl up even more.
"Just ... just do it, Touya. It's okay. We understand." The arms around his bag tightened, and Touya could feel Shindou's head through the sleeping bag. "Let it go."
He couldn't hold it in anymore, even if he tried. Touya closed his eyes and let the tear he had been holding in tightly trail down his face.
Father.
Touya cried, silent heaving sobs muffled against nylon and cotton stuffing. Outside his navy blue coccoon, Shindou continued to hold him.