Harry Potter and the Mudblood Liaison

Canaries and Cons

Disclaimer: I don't own anything really. The plot a little, but I'm sure this has been used before somewhere.

A/N: This takes place right after the match against Slytherin in the Half Blood Prince. It's a sort of what if? What if Hermione had acted a little smarter in book the six? How would events play out? And I realize that this chapter is mostly all feelings and whatnot, but deeper into the story, I hope to explore how Hermione might have changed events in HBP, and in book the 7 which will be on bookshelves in (looks at watch…roughly six hours!!! YAY!!) Ok, sorry, on with the story. Oh! Btw, please review.

"With a sinking feeling, he thought he saw a mane of bushy brown hair whipping out of sight...

He found her in the first unlocked classroom he tried. She was sitting on the teacher's desk, alone except for a small ring of twittering yellow birds circling her head, which she had clearly just conjured out of midair. Harry could not help admiring her spellwork at a time like this."

-JK Rowling, Half Blood Prince

Hermione looked up, and a sharp pang of pity hit Harry as he saw tears littered down her face. She hastily wiped them away and gave Harry an extremely painful looking grin. "Oh, hello, Harry." Her voice sounded scratchy and brittle. "I was just…err…practicing."

"Yea, they're…umm… really good Hermione." Harry felt so awkward. He had no idea what to say to her. How do you comfort your best friend when she's jealous of your other best friend?

Hermione never gave him the chance though as she said, in an unnaturally high-pitched voice, "Ron seems to be enjoying the celebrations." Some of the flittering birds seemed to convulse as she said this, almost as if the anger she felt was physically lashing out at them.

"Er…does he?" Harry knew that was the wrong thing to saw even before it left his lips.

"Don't pretend you didn't see him!" A choked sob escaped Hermione. In a quieter voice, she added, "He wasn't exactly hiding it, was he?"

Harry didn't say anything, but instead moved to sit next to her on the large old desk. She scooted over to make room and there they sat, side by side. Harry sitting on his hands, feeling uncomfortable with the situation, but unable to leave his friend by herself, and Hermione staring fixedly at the floor with a vehemence that would have left even Snape gasping.

After what seemed a very long time, Hermione gave a rattled sigh and straightened up. Turning with a watery smile to Harry, Hermione weakly laughed, "I'm sorry Harry. I suppose this is all rather silly."

"Don't be ridiculous Hermione, it's no trouble. You'd do the same for me."

Hermione bit her lip. "It's ok Harry. You really should go back to the party. Everyone will be missing you and I think you'd rather be celebrating than moping in the dark with me and the green eyed monster."

It was true, he was eager to get back to the party, maybe catch a conversation with Ginny…but no. Hermione needed someone right now. And Ron was most assuredly not willing or able to at the moment. "Do you want to go to the kitchens?"

"What?"

Harry grinned at her confusion. It was a vast improvement over her self-pitying. Perhaps he was getting better at dealing with his friend's emotional roll coaster rides.

"Yea, come on." He scooted off the desk. "We can have some ice cream and catch up with Dobby."

"I have been meaning to check on Winky, and Dobby certainly would enjoy the company…but what about your team mates Harry? What about Ginny?"

Harry felt his face flushing. She knew? "Err…what about Gin-

Hermione's impatience seemed to be stretched far too thin as of late. "Oh come off it Harry. I know you fancy her."

"I'm that obvious?" Harry asked incredulously.

"No no, of course not, but I've been around you for years Harry. I can tell when you like someone, and Ginny's felt the same way for, well, forever."

Harry felt exceedingly thrilled at hearing Hermione say that, but he tried to mask it as he shook his head and said, "It's alright Hermione. Ginny's fine right now. You're not."

"Gee, thanks."

"No problem. Now come on, I really have been wanting to see Dobby."

Hermione gracefully slid off the desk. "Thanks Harry. And I'm sorry about the Felix potion mess. I thought it was brilliant how you conned Ron into performing his best."

They headed out of the empty classroom and down to the kitchens. Harry was surprised at her admission. "I thought you were angry with me for tricking the both of you?"

"Well I was, but I was also very impressed with your ploy. It certainly worked."

They were both silent for a second and then blurted out at the same time, "He just needed some confidence."

Laughing at their combined wisdom, they soon found themselves standing in front of the portrait of fruit. "Would you like to do the honors?" Harry asked as Hermione had already withdrawn her wand.

The giggling pear promptly admitted them and they found themselves surrounded by hundreds of eager-to-please house elves. Harry was about to ask them for some Butterbeer when he caught the glare on Hermione's face. He politely said no thanks.

Out of the crowd emerged Dobby, his myriad of hodge-podge hats balanced precariously on his head. "Harry Potter!" The tiny elf squeaked, his large eyes glowing excitedly. "To what does Dobby owe this great honor?"

"Just wanted to see how you were faring Dobby. Is Kreacher behaving?"

Dobby's happy expression slipped from his face as seamlessly as water slides down a waterfall. "Master Harry Potter is too kind to Kreacher. Kreacher does not deserve Harry Potter. He is a very bad elf."

Hermione looked somewhat scandalized. "Dobby! How can you say such a thing? I know Kreacher's cranky and rude, but he's very old. He's probably becoming senile."

"Insanity is just one characteristic Kreacher exhibits Hermione. He's also foul, twisted, and even a little sadistic."

Dobby looked like he was about to agree when a knarled, mangy house elf came up to them and mumbled, "Kreacher didn't know that Master thought so high of him." Kreacher then gave a mock bow to Harry, his nose so low that it seemed impossible for him to remain upright.

Hermione dropped to her knees and in a gentle voice said, "Hello Kreacher. How are you doing?"

Kreacher's bloodshot eyes widened as he stepped back in horror. "The dirty mudblood STILL thinks she can speak to me! The abomination! The scandal! What would my poor mistress say?" He didn't even bother muttering. Harry became livid.

"Kreacher! You awful loathsome elf!" The other house elves, while appalled at Kreacher's behavior toward the witch, were taken aback by Harry's ranting. Harry ignored them all however as his eyes narrowed in rage at the cause of his Godfather's death. He wanted nothing more than to strangle the damn elf.

Just as his hand reached out to throttle the sneering Kreacher, Hermione intercepted it.

"Let go Hermione! He deserves to pay. He's done nothing but call us all names and lead Sirius straight into the veil!" Harry struggled to get his hand free, but Hermione's grip was surprisingly strong.

"There were a lot of factors that led to Sirius falling behind the veil that night." Harry drew away like he'd been slapped, all thoughts of murdering Kreacher behind him now as he felt the sting of accusation, an accusation that had been weighing heavily on him now for months. But Hermione continued, "Kreacher has only known one way to act his entire life. It's not fair to punish him, he doesn't know any better!"

Harry begged to differ, but the pleading in Hermione's voice stopped him from arguing. "I think he does. But let's just drop it." Hermione looked thankful and stood up to stand beside him. Harry glared down at Kreacher and ordered, "You are no longer permitted to say the words: Blood Traitor, Mudblood, half-breed, or any other foul language."

Kreacher looked as though he had just been forced to swallow a handful of Bertie Blott's earwax jellybeans, but he gave another stiff, forced bow and mumbled, "Whatever Master wishes," with as much distain as the grumpy old elf could muster.

Sighing with exasperation, they turned away from the sneering old elf and scoured the kitchens, both intent upon locating little Winky.

"I don't see her anywhere." Hermione finally said, looking a little disappointed. Harry hoped it wasn't because she had any more S.P.E.W. knitted clothes to deliver. Dobby already had more than enough. Harry wasn't even sure where he put all of it.

"Let's just go. Ice cream after talking to Kreacher doesn't seem all that appetizing." Harry said as he headed out. Hermione reluctantly followed.

Once they were almost to the portrait of the fat lady, Hermione stopped. Harry, unsure of why his friend was stopping in the middle of the staircase asked, "What's wrong?"

Hermione turned to him, her expression unreadable, "Nothing Harry. I…err, just wanted to thank you again. It meant a lot." Her gaze turned back to the portrait and she asked in a smaller voice, "You don't suppose that they're still at it, do you?"

Harry cringed. He thought that she might have cooled on it by now. Unable to answer, he just shrugged helplessly.

Hermione sighed. "Oh well. Guess I'll have to go back in there sometime. Madam Pince doesn't like students in the library after hours." She attempted a feeble smile at her own joke, but couldn't quite manage it. "Oh bother." She finally said as they went through the portrait hole of the Fat Lady (Hope you two weren't getting too wild in the celebration dearies!).

To Hermione's great annoyance, Lavender and Ron were still familiarizing each other. Harry was even a little dismayed by Ron's insensitivity. But then again, he knew that Ron was still stinging from Ginny's words.

"Harry! Would you like some pumpkin juice?" Romilda Vane asked as she sidled up to Harry, not even bothering to acknowledge that Hermione was there.

Hermione glared at the girl and to Harry's great shock, put her arm around Harry's waist and leaned her head against his chest. In a sickeningly sweet voice, Hermione said, "Oh, hi Vane. Didn't see you there. Harry and I just got back from the kitchens. We're quite full, I can assure you."

As much as the nearness of Hermione and her behavior were unnerving Harry, the look on Romilda's face was priceless. She sputtered for a few moments before finally giving a howl of frustration and stocking off, no doubt to spread the word to her friends about this new development.

After watching Romilda retreat, Harry pulled himself away from Hermione and gave her a disappointed look.

Hermione raised her hands in defense. "Hey! I'm doing us both a favor Harry. Now Romilda will leave you alone and-

"Ron will get jealous?" Harry came very close to glaring at her. "I'm not going to play games Hermione. Just tell Ron how you feel!" He made to stock off, but something in his line of sight stopped him. It wasn't the look of hurt that had spread across Hermione's face or the disgusting sucking noises coming from his red headed best friend. No. It was Ginny, locking lips gustily with Dean Thomas and looking like an angel, her wind swept red hair streaming down her back, and Arnold the Pigmy Puff struggling valiantly to remain stationed on her shoulder as she moved to deepen the kiss. Crookshanks licked his lips below her as Arnold stumbled.

Hermione stepped up right behind Harry and whispered. "He wouldn't be the only Weasley you could make jealous. Please Harry."

Harry turned around. Hermione truly did look retched. Her hair was even more bushy than usual and her eyes were beginning to look as bloodshot as Kreacher's. He sighed. "Ron's my best friend. He'd hate me."

Hermione gave Harry a strange look before she said, "So let me get this straight, it's ok for Ron to date me, but no one else, is that it?" Hermione was becoming increasingly agitated as she spoke, though her voice remained quiet. "You can't like me."

Harry nearly fell over. This was too much! "I just don't like you the way Ron does Hermione! Look at what he did at the Yule Ball! He's the one that's crazy about you!"

Close to tears once again, she sobbed, "He's got a funny way of showing it!" She sniffed and that determined, maniacal gleam surfaced in her eye, the look that always scared Harry a little. "Help me Harry. Please. I want Ron to want me."

A sinking feeling in his heart, Harry slowly nodded his head. Hermione squealed with delight and gave him a warm hug before running off to her dorm, careful to bypass the corner where Ron had just surfaced from Lavender's lips, a dazed and confused expression marring his freckled face.

Oh yes, Harry thought dryly, Ron would want her. And Harry would be lucky if both Ron and Ginny didn't end up wanting to kill him. Why did friendships have to be so complicated?