The Multiple and Nonexistant Love Affairs of Elizabeth Swann

Disclaimer: Does all this sound likely? Answer that once you read the story!

A/N: Something that I came up with randomly... Told from Will's POV

I grabbed Elizabeth's arm.

"I have made my choice," I said, "What is yours?"

She looked at me for a second.

"Barbossa!"

Shock, complete and utter shock followed this pronouncement. Then my brain started to work. Very slowly, then quickly gaining speed. My first thought was amazingly intelligent. What?!?!. Barbossa. Barbossa. Elizabeth is choosing Barbossa. That means that she, my Elizabeth, has been having an illicit love affair with him. Oh, God help me! Someone help me!

Wait a minute, Barbossa would be the last man in the world she would be having relations with, right? I mean, he's about three times her age, and, let's face, not knockdown gorgeous. If she's been having an affair with the last man in the world, then she must have had one with all the others… the not last ones. Jack! Of course, him. He's a pirate, experienced, handsome. So that explained the kiss! She had been afraid that Jack would tell me about their affair, and she had killed him!

Wait another minute! Who else? Jack, probably Norrington and Gibbs too. Oh, God, she had been in Tortuga! She must have been with every man there! Suddenly, every male creature around seemed like a menace. Like that Flying Dutchman sailor, trying to stab me. What if she had affairs with everyone on the Flying Dutchman? She had been visiting her aunt about five months ago… so that was where she really was!

What if she had even had relations with this sailor trying to kill me? I stabbed him viciously. Oh, Elizabeth, how could you do this to me? Maybe… Davy Jones!!!

The thought was so dreadful, I froze in horror.

"Marry us!" Elizabeth yelled.

Relief flooded me. Thank God! She was true, my darling Elizabeth! But what if she had changed her mind at the last moment? What if she really loved Barbossa? What if she had multiple personality disorder, and one side of the was choosing Barbossa, and the other side choosing me?

Oh, here my imagination goes again!

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