I don't own Kingdom Hearts, unfortunately.
Title: Health Insurance
Pairings: Leon/Cloud

---

When Tifa had suggested that he get help, Cloud didn't know she'd been serious. It wasn't a common occurrence when Cloud laughed, let alone joked, but he did laugh then. More of a snort, really, but Tifa had still given him an incredulous look at that sound.

I'm serious, Cloud, she said. She had shaken her head sadly then, going back to pouring another drink for a customer at the bar.

And that's where Cloud found himself now. Getting help of the psychological sort where some doctor would tell him that he had something wrong with him and scribble a prescription on a piece of paper which Cloud would conveniently lose five minutes out the door.

The receptionist, with her bright green eyes and braided blond hair, had given Cloud a brilliant smile when he had come up to her desk. When he told her his appointment time, her smile had turned to a frown as she flipped through the pages of an appointment book. "I don't have you down here – Strife, was it?"

"I made the appointment yesterday." The receptionist wasn't at all like what Cloud had expected. Neither was the office, with its wood paneled walls, a more conservative wooden floor with no carpet, and a round secretary's desk with a cup filled with brightly colored pens on its ledge.

"Honestly, if you're here, you must have made an appointment, or you wouldn't have bothered coming." The woman tapped her pen against the desk calendar for a few seconds. Cloud wished she wouldn't do that. The sound of it was annoying. "Do you need help at this very moment?" she asked, looking at him expectantly, "I could always reschedule you for next week."

"I'd like to get this over with as soon as possible." He decided not to tack 'and as painlessly' on to that statement. Doing that would mean he was intimidated, and Cloud was not about to be intimidated by a doctor he had never met before.

"Well it will be Mr. Leonhart's lunch break in a few minutes. I'm afraid today's a slow day so no one else is really in, but I don't think he'll mind taking a few minutes for you." She waved red polished nails at him, "Sit, sit. I'm going to let him know you're here."

Cloud was bemused by the receptionist's familiarity with the psychiatrist, but did as he was told, sitting in a squeaky wooden chair near a large bay window that overlooked the parking lot. There were a lot of offices in this building, which explained the abundance of cars in the lot. Cloud decided to amuse himself by looking at a particularly flashy one while waiting for the receptionist. Wasn't there supposed to be paperwork he needed to do – insurance and co-pay to be dealt with?

"Okay, he'll see you now." The woman waved him over to an office door, giving Cloud an encouraging smile as she did so, before turning to speak to the man in the office. "Mr. Leonhart, this is Mr. Cloud Strife. I'm afraid his appointment was messed up. Do you mind?" Cloud didn't hear an answer, but the receptionist gave a relieved sigh soon after and ushered him in to the office, leaving him there to face what Cloud only had an idea of.

The office was spacious with only a few leather chairs and a large desk. There was a bookcase next to another window, filled with unmarked books that Cloud wouldn't have been able to pull from the shelf with out the use of two hands, and a slate colored carpet covering the majority of the wood floor. There were a few uninteresting plaques on the wall, but weren't very readable due to the distance and the font of the script.

Remembering the familiarity that the receptionist had displayed toward the doctor, Cloud didn't know how to address the man before him. "What should I call you?" he asked before allowing himself to sit in one of the leather chairs. The cushions were comfortable, but Cloud refused to lean back anymore than necessary. Doing so would mean he was comfortable with this idea of a psychiatrist and talking. "Do you prefer Doctor Leonhart?"

Leon Leonhart was a very busy man on most days and his secretary rarely messed up on appointments. The 'doctor' title caused him to quirk an eyebrow and run a hand through his brunet hair, looking thoughtfully at the man on the other side of his desk. While Mr. Strife wasn't unattractive, there was something that wasn't quite in place. "Did Yuffie send you?" Oh, please just let this be a joke, Leon thought. Yuffie had sunk to such lows before of trying to set him up, occasionally even sending a stripper to his work to try to ease what she called his 'stressful days'. Leon normally humored them when they tried role-playing with him but when the clothes started to come off, he drew the line. It appeared he would have to do so again with this man.

Cloud shook his head. "No, I was referred by my friend, Tifa, to this office. She thinks there's something wrong with me."

Ah, Tifa. That was a girl's name, right? Leon wouldn't put it past Yuffie to have a friend named Tifa, who'd be just as conspiring as she was. Leon arranged some papers on his desk to be out of the way, since most of the men Yuffie sent usually messed them up. "I guess Doctor would be fine, and I'll call you Cloud," Leon stated as he nodded his head, playing along. After a few moments of tense silence, he unbuttoned his first top button on his white shirt and loosened his tie. It was his lunch time after all. "So, what's the problem?" Leon asked, resisting the urge to throw his feet on his desk and lounge. It wouldn't have been very doctor-like if he did. Instead he chose to steeple his fingers and gave a thoughtful look.

"I suppose it's the fact that I've never slept with Tifa that's brought me here," Cloud tried, attempting to be as frank as possible, "and that because of this, she thinks I have intimacy problems."

Leon had to hand it to Cloud. The man was good to subtly imply what his intentions were for being in his office without breaking character. Yuffie must have really gone through a lot of trouble to get him. "And how does that make you feel?" This doctor act was surprisingly easy.

Cloud gave what Leon thought to be a look of confusion. "It doesn't really make me feel anything," he said after regarding the question for a moment. "And shouldn't you be taking notes?" Cloud asked, looking accusatorily at Leon. Leon crinkled his nose, rubbing a scar on it that he had gotten when he was younger in frustration. Cloud was definitely good with out a doubt. "Right," Leon grabbed a notepad from the corner of his desk and a pen, "continue," he said, jotting down a quick note to pick up more milk on his way home.

While giving him a strange look, Cloud did continue. "I just don't like it when people touch me. Tifa just doesn't seem to understand that."

"Right," Leon said again, making a fake sympathetic noise while jotting down on his pad to strangle Yuffie next time he saw her. Yuffie must've really drilled this guy on what to say to empathize with him. Leon disliked when people touched him. "And how does touching other people make you feel?" he asked, catching Cloud's eyes while half expecting the man to begin taking his shirt off. After all, that's the way things normally went with the others. "Casual contact happens, but I don't really feel anything, again."

Leon crinkled his nose again when Cloud didn't take the opportunity he had provided. "And I suppose you want me to make you feel things?" he tried again, making another note to get more cat food for Griever tonight.

"Not really."

Yes, Cloud was infinitely more amusing than the other men he had in his office Leon decided right then. Deciding to cut it short, Leon looked at the clock and than at Cloud. "I'm afraid, Mr. Strife," Leon gave his best doctor impression, "that you'll have to make an appointment for another time."

"Who do I give my insurance card to?" Cloud asked as he rose from his seat.

Insurance card? Again, this man was good, Leon thought. "Just give it to Yuffie, and have a nice day," he said somewhat sarcastically, getting up to show Cloud the door. Cloud was already out it, though, by the time Leon reached the same leather chair the blond had sat in.

Cloud neared the receptionist's desk, and the woman looked up at him as he approached. She was chewing gum now and picking at one of her nails. "Everything go well, Mr. Strife?" she asked giving him a small smile. The poor guy had lasted much longer than some of the other men she had shown into her boss's office, she'd give him that.

"He wants me to make an appointment."

Oh? She sat up. She rarely, if never, got to play along with any of the men after. "He wants you to make another appointment?" she put emphasis on appointment, and picked up a pencil expectantly, "Well, what day is good for you?"

"Tomorrow, I guess," Cloud said, "at what time?"

"I have an opening from two to three," she penciled in 'Strife' when he gave an affirmative nod. "You wouldn't happen to have a card, would you?" she asked shyly while blushing. This guy had to be good to have her boss wanting him back and her friend, Yuna, did have a bachelorette party coming up. Her shy demeanor disappeared however, when she was handed an insurance card. Okay, so she could play this game too. She smiled and took the card. "Just let me make a photocopy, okay?" she wheeled her chair around to the copy machine and put the card through. Taking it off the machine, she handed it back to Cloud. "Here you are." She smiled again at him.

"Is that all?" Cloud asked, fingering the money he had in his pocket for the co-pay.

"Yup, see you tomorrow." She gave him a wave a Cloud walked out of the office, throwing a look of confusion over his shoulder as he did so.

"He's really cute," she said when her boss came out of his office, "eh, Doctor Leonhart?" she joked.

"Call Yuffie and yell at her for me, Rikku," Leon said, walking over to the reception desk to stand where Cloud had. "I'm taking lunch now."

Rikku rested her chin in her hands, "Oh please, you know being a receptionist to a medical office seems funner than being one for an accountant," she called after him as he began to exit through the door.

"I believe that's 'more fun', Miss Highwind."

Rikku stuck her tongue out at him as he left, but picked up the phone regardless to call Yuffie.

The phone rang for a few seconds before the line was picked up. After a few moments of telling Yuffie what an awesome guy she had found, Rikku stopped when Yuffie gave a confused noise. "What do you mean you didn't hire him?" she asked, mouth open in surprise. "Ooh, boy. Leon's gonna have quite a shock tomorrow when Mr. Strife comes in for his appointment."

Yuffie made a comment which caused Rikku to cover her mouth to stifle her giggle. "Yup, guess that does mean you don't have to send that guy you tried last week over here again for tomorrow."

---

"So, how was it, Cloud?" Tifa asked as Cloud entered her bar. "I want to hear all about," she said while pouring a customer a drink.

Cloud decided that there were some things that he should never tell Tifa. That he thought his psychiatrist was hitting on him was one of those things, that and the time when he was younger and told Sora he didn't believe him and stuck a marshmallow in Tifa's microwave.

---

Personally, I don't know where this came from but I hope it was as enjoyable to read as it was for me to write it. I don't know if I want to continue it either, so I'll just leave it as a one-shot for now. I tried to not rely on dialogue so strongly and the use of epithets as much and make the POV and scene changes flow smoothly.