I'd been playing with this in my head but chapter four of KiY's Double-Minded gave me the kick to sit down and write it.
Disney owns Kim Possible and all the character herein. They also own my daughter's imagination, curse them.
The espresso machine frothed away in the background as Ron stared open-mouthed. I can't believe I'm sharing a table with Shego…You know, in this light she's actually kind of cute.
"Ooh, that's good cocoa moo," Shego said, staring back at Ron with wide and innocent green eyes. (Shego? Innocent? Helloooo, brain, what are you up to?)
Shego turned to Kim. "How's yours?"
"Cocoa moo?" asked Kim, clearly struggling to maintain her composure in the face of this ferociously weird sitch.
Ron, snapping out of his reverie, looked down and sipped from his mug.
"Mmmm…'sgood" he said, wiping his mouth and smiling. "Good, uh, you know… cocoa moo." Ron's tone grew hesitant, the smile vanishing from his face, and he shrugged involuntarily as he realized Shego was gazing at him again. He found himself unable to meet her eyes and glanced off to the left. Pull it together, Ron-man! He looked back up at Shego. What is that nice smell? Is Shego using a lemongrass-scented shampoo? Wait. Why am I wondering about her shampoo?
Shego noticed the confused look which had flashed across his features. "Oooh. Something wrong, Ronnie?"
Wow. Look at those eyes. They're almost as pretty as Kim's… Did I just think that out loud? He looked away again and felt his pulse quicken – but whether the nervous response came from admiring his girlfriend's nemesis in his girlfriend's presence, or from the musical way "Ronnie" rolled off her tongue, he couldn't quite sort out.
"You know," the blonde began, looking down and right as he searched for the words, "it's just that I've never been this close to you without" – pulling back – "sudden impact." He looked down again and his mind flashed through the many times he had been on the receiving end of a powerful Shego kick or throw. Or the times she had picked him up bodily and carried him off. Then, unexpectedly, his mind – faithless, faithless mind - chose to linger on memories of her, on several separate occasions, roughly tying him to pillars or putting him in manacles.
Shego reacted in quite an unexpected way: with a giggle. "You're silly!" she said with enthusiasm. "I'm silly," she continued. "This whole sitch is silly!"
While she was speaking Ron looked down, as if trying to vanish into his mug of hot chocolate. Perhaps then he could stop thinking about her giggle, or about the way her hair swished, or about the way her hands – so pretty without her gloves! – moved about in the air.
He took a sip, then looked back up at Shego, trying to shake the confused feelings from his head. He let out an uncomfortable chuckle and forced a smile onto his face, but for the life of him he couldn't meet those eyes. His gaze wandered in ever more erratic fashion, shifting from spot to spot as if he believed, ostrich-like, that Shego wouldn't look at him if he didn't look at her. And what would Kim see in his eyes if she looked at him now?! He frowned at the thought and furrowed his brow, trying to recall the last thing that Shego had said. Oh yes: the sitch was silly.
"Eh…And how. Hunh," he concluded, unconvincingly.
Kim, somewhat back to her old self, began to press Shego for details. "So, one of Team Go's old enemies…" she began.
Ron dared a quick glance at Kim as Shego spoke about some supervillain named Electronique. Kim chose to glance at him at exactly the same moment. Mortified, he could do nothing but stare at her, wide-eyed and open-mouthed. Has she noticed that I'm all flustered? Please, please, he thought, I've a right to be - it's a weird sitch, that's all, we're all a little wacked out…it has nothing to do with Shego being so close I could touch her… or vice versa… oh God, say something, Stoppable! Anything!
"Electronique?" he began. Yeah, that's right, we're all business now. "Hmmmm… Electrical villain? I guess we've been due for one of those." God, what a stupid thing to say! 'We're due for one of those?' C'mon! Wait – who am I trying to impress? Oh no…it can't be… I'm crushing on Shego! Distracted, he bit down on a dry biscotti. Did I just chip a tooth?
The pale green ex-(?)villain was still going on about Electronique as she picked up a biscotti, dipped it in her cocoa, and handed it to Rufus. Ron was transfixed by her slim fingers and the way her delicate pinkie stuck out just so.
Now Shego was saying something about Jack Hench's attitudinator. Suddenly she looked at Ron. "Oh! You remember!"
It was as if he were hit by a small electric shock. Ron had never been able to recall exactly what had happened during his days as Zorpox, but sometimes there were small flashes, brief scenes, as if from a dream dimly remembered. He saw himself, with blue skin and a wild look in his eyes, standing in front of an array of creepy machinery and ranting, with thunder rumbling and lightening flashing in the background. "Nacos! Booyah!" his crazed alter ego shrieked. I wish my regular voice had that kind of reverb, he thought idly. Then, as quickly as it had come, the image vanished. He tried not to think about the rush of power, of control, that swept through his mind during these occasional recollections.
"Yeah, heh-heh, good times," he muttered, taking pains not to make eye contact with either of the women at the table, and focusing on lowering his heartbeat. Was he hiding his uncomfortable feelings about Shego? Or his regret at what he had given up – what was taken away from me – wait a second, now where did that come from? - when he was turned back from Zorpox? Never mind. He put the thoughts aside as best he could and reflexively followed Shego's lead, dipping a biscotti into his cocoa-moo. Hot chocolate, darn it!
Kim was still diagnosing the bigger problem. "So, she used it to turn all of Team Go from good to bad."
Ron tried to get back in the game. "But you're already bad," he interjected, then felt something brush against his leg under the table. Is that Shego's knee? He shivered involuntarily. Shego's green and black jumpsuit left nothing of the shape of her body to the imagination, but now, sitting right next to those long, long legs…
Shego's voice penetrated his brain as if from a great distance. "Luckily I have my degree in child development to fall back on."
"Then… the teaching thing?" Ron was able to get out.
"Fully credentialed!" he heard Shego say, and struggled to remain focused as another unbidden memory came to him. Oh, you're gonna be schooled, he could hear Shego saying, as she approached him with a length of rope and that wicked look…He shivered again.
In disbelief he suddenly realized what look was actually on Shego's face at the moment.
"KP," he whined, "she's giving you…"
"Not the puppy-dog pout!" Kim said.
He didn't hear Kim's next words. Ok, Stoppable. Now that's enough. Mad fighting skills, plasma bolts, and the puppy-dog pout? No way I'm interested in someone with that kind of firepower. His train of thought paused before, finally, wrecking entirely.
I bet Zorpox would be…
Kim paid and he meekly followed her and Shego out, trying not to think. At all. About anything.