Title: My Way of Coping

Author: Therm (AKA Sparklelobster)

Summary: Dr. Cox tries to cope with what is happening in his life right now.

Notes: Takes place during 'My Lunch' and 'My Fallen Idol'. Spoilers for both. This is done from Dr Cox's POV. I mainly wanted to do this because of the fact that Cox says little in the episode 'My Fallen Idol' and wondered what was happening behind those eyes. It starts just after he and JD got to lunch and goes through events from there onwards. Also, I can't remember the name of the Dr Cox's patient in My Lunch but he calls him Davey boy at one point so I've refered to him as Dave.

This fic is dedicated to lot-of-Jate-bit-of-Skate who was the only person to review my last story. Thank you.

Part One

Although I'd never say it out loud, sitting at lunch with newbie wasn't the worse thing ever.

Maybe that was partly because he was on a downer, which makes him easier to deal with. He was currently blaming himself for the fact that a patient, Jill Tracy, died of an overdose and knowing she was depressed, newbie did nothing. Part of my job is to make these people realise that, mistakes do happen. And as I explain it to newbie that she didn't come to the hospital for help, it's really not his fault.

He seems to relax a little, accept it for just another waste of a life and after eating our lunch, we head back to the hospital.

The weird thing is, although I'd never refer to JD as a friend, I guess I've got used to him being there, whether I want him there or not.

Yes, he is annoying and always seems to show up at the worse possible times, but there are those fleeting moments when he'd be there just at the right time and he'd actually say, or do, the right thing, which was a miracle in itself. Either that or his learnt it from me, which wouldn't surprise me one bit because I'm a damn good teacher.

Waiting there for us at the hospital are three patients who have just received new organs. And provided that they don't reject their new organ, which is always a possibility, things are looking up. Jill Tracy and her family's loss is another three families gain. It might seem cold and callous, certainly I wouldn't go say that to the Tracy family, but if three people get to live and three entire families are happy that their husband, wife, brother, sister, son, daughter whatever, are still alive, then that's a damn good day at the office in my book.

Arriving back at the hospital I was feeling good. But as soon as I walked through those doors, and saw the amount of people rushing back and forth, I knew something was happening. And something in my gut kicked in saying it would be one of the transplant patients.

I guess that's why when Gandhi told me that two of them were failing, it didn't sink in straight away. I wanted to see it for myself and headed straight to Dave's room. I feel a slight panic occurring in me as I wonder what's happening to them. I ask his how he's feeling and he tells me fine, but a second later he smashes the slight relief I was starting to feel by telling me his feet are numb. We really need to get these patients into the frame of mind of telling us everything upfront, certainly make our job a lot easier. I know it's not good and I throw him something about hanging in as I leave to try and work out what the hell's happening to my patients.

I don't really get a chance to wonder what's happening to them for too long. Bob Kelso arrives, file in hand, telling me that Tracy didn't die of an overdose. I'm sure if I cared enough to look, newbie would be wiping the sweat off his brow because no matter how hard he tries, he can't get used to feeling responsible for someone dying. I don't care about that, I just want to stop these people from going down the drain and if an overdose didn't kill Tracy, then the reason why these patients are failing is bound to be in here. And there it is. One word.

Rabies.

If that isn't the damn, stupidest disease for that god damn woman to have, I don't know what is. I pull it back, keep control. These people's lives are in our hands and if they can be saved, we will save them.

Knowing what's wrong with them is half the battle, I just hope we've got this in time to save these people's lives. And I know that I won't rest until we've at least tried every damn thing we can to save them.

TBC