A/N: I blame Poe for this. And you, too, Amelia!
'Where have John and Rodney gone to now?' Elizabeth thought irritably when they failed to respond to her radio call. She left her office and decided that the break room was probably the best place to start looking. She heard the voices of her missing colleagues as she neared the closed Lantean door that led to what had been designated a break and rec room.
There was a barely audible moan, followed by Rodney's voice. "Mmm, Sheppard…"
"I told you I was good at this," came John's voice in reply. "Is this fast enough?"
Elizabeth froze with her hand inches away from the sensor and continued to listen.
"Ohh, that's good. But just a little bit harder." There was a pause, then Rodney repeated, "Harder!" Suddenly he let out a long, drawn-out moan.
"Wow, Rodney, I've never made anyone moan like that before." The pride was evident in John's tone.
"Mmm, I've never had a guy do me like this before."
Elizabeth could take no more. "For heaven's sake!" she cried as she opened the door and stormed in. "Don't you two know better than to-- to--" she stammered as she stared in surprise at Rodney lying on the couch, and John with his hands on Rodney's back just below his shoulder blades. They both looked up at her, utterly confused.
"Wha-- what are you doing?"
"Giving Rodney a back massage," John answered. "Figured if he'd actually relax, he'd stop being such a pain in the ass." He paused then asked, "What did you think we were doing?"
Elizabeth blushed. "Nothing… Never mind."