Title: A Life Less Ordinary (5/5)

Authors: Starway Man and Nodakskip

Email: theop at kew dot hotkey dot net dot au, Nodakskip at aol dot com

Disclaimer: None of the Buffy or Angel references belong to us, but rather Joss and his gang of idi...er, geniuses. Those parts of the story that are taken from the show episodes belong to the writers.

Warnings: There is some angst, potty language, sexual references and character death in this one.

Rating: R

Category: Buffy/Angel crossover, Super AU

Author Notes 1: Thanks to Francis Eugene for invaluable suggestions and beta reading services. No offence or disrespect is meant to anyone of any religious persuasion with some of the subjects mentioned in this fanfic.

Author Notes 2: This story is initially set in Angel season 3, during an AU version of "Quickening". It then progresses to a few days before BtVS season 7 "Conversations With Dead People". There is a certain amount of C/X in this one, so again be warned.

Author Notes 3: Well, here we are at the end of another story. We hope that you've enjoyed the fruits of our labor, and that any plot holes and mistakes were kept to a minimum. A special thank you to all the people who have left reviews or feedback over the course of the story – you know who you are. And so, on to the final chapter of this tale...

Summary: Xander can't believe what sort of a mess he and Cordelia have ended up in. Oh well, they'll just have to make the best of it.

Xander Harris's apartment, Sunnydale, California

Wednesday November 28th, 2001

11:35 pm

Xander Harris pulled on a shirt after his brief shower, and winced when he noticed the souvenir scar from that rebar on his lower body. The young man had arrived back home after a meeting with David Nabbit in LA, 'home' now being the same place Xander had briefly lived in before he'd left town after high school. Harris hadn't stayed at the Sunnydale Motor Inn for much longer after the night he and Cordelia Chase had...well, totally screwed each other's brains out, whilst in the grip of that magically induced amnesia.

Over the last two weeks, Xander had tried not to think too deeply about how he and his ex-girlfriend had gotten intimate that way. Granted, some of the things said that night were enough to bring an involuntary smile to his face. Comments like "Uhhh! You stop now and I'll kill you!" and "Oh God, you're gonna split me in two!" do have that effect on most guys.

But after Faith, Jonathan and Andrew had tracked down the Scooby gang, and Jonathan had ended Willow's handiwork, a panting Xander and Cordelia had abruptly gotten their memories back. Subsequently all the orgasms in the world hadn't been enough to keep Harris in the same bed as her any longer. Cordelia had quickly left, feeling embarrassed and humiliated. Xander himself had had a very stiff drink to try to cope with what had happened.

Ever since then Xander had honestly wondered what all that really said about his character. Why on earth had he jumped into the sack with a woman who (in a sense) he had just met barely a few hours before? Okay, there had been circumstantial evidence that he and Cordy were together romantically, but surely that wasn't enough to justify rushing things.

Harris had also briefly wondered if his acquaintance, the trickster god Eshu, had been behind it all, but in the end decided otherwise. The West African deity may have been a hard taskmaster, but not an evil one. Xander had figured out by now that that particular time-travelling entity was basically like a kid who missed his favorite toy, after his future self had ended up dead in another timeline. Eshu and he weren't friends: Harris knew he was just a source of constant amusement to the god of mischief, almost as much as his partner-in-crime Amy Madison.

A knock on the front door distracted Xander from his thoughts. As soon as he opened up his eyebrows quirked in surprise. "Faith? What are you doing here?"

"I was kind of hoping we could talk. Can I come in?"

Xander gestured and the Slayer walked in. After he shut the door, Faith looked around and said hesitantly, "Nice place..."

"Lived here for a while, around two and a half years ago," Xander replied. "And before you say anything, I know that you used to live here too."

"How did you-" the Chosen One started to say suspiciously.

"The same way I knew you'd started working for the Mayor, before anyone else did." Xander noticed his former friend grimace at the mention of Richard Wilkins. "I always wondered, Faith. Why'd you do it? Why couldn't you have trusted me to help you instead? I thought we were friends."

Even though she'd been expecting this, Faith still winced at the calm and level tone as his words penetrated her admittedly thick hide. "Look, I know I fucked up back then, okay? I admit it, I screwed things up real bad and I honestly don't expect you to believe me now. But I still need to say it. I'm sorry for what happened that night when Fang and I met you on the street and he knocked you out cold. I don't know what I can do to make it up to you, Xander, but I really do regret all that now."

The former class clown did not simply dismiss her words out of hand. "Apology accepted. It's a helluva lot more than I ever got from Deadboy, anyway. But that still doesn't answer my question. Why?"

Faith collapsed onto the sofa, trying to find a way to explain. However all she could come up with was, "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

"What?" Xander demanded, flabbergasted.

"Look, pal, when I was a kid in Boston I didn't have anyone on my side," Faith told him. "My dad was just some guy in jail, and my mother ended up a hooker after one of her boyfriends...you know. When I ran away and started living on the streets, I quickly learned that either you back the winner in a turf war...or you become nothing but a bloodstain on the sidewalk."

The Slayer gestured slightly, "Back then, it didn't matter if you were the good guys or you had God on your side, or whatever. I figured the boss was gonna come out on top in that fight, and I had to look out for number one. So I made my choice after Trick got his that night. I already said it, I know I fucked up with all that. But ever since Donna showed up in my life I've been trying to make amends. I know it's not gonna make a damn bit of difference to Finch...but I'm still trying, damn it. And that's gotta count for something, right?"

Xander didn't know what to say to her. On the one hand, he was still a little bitter their friendship hadn't meant enough to her to let him in and try to help, that the Chosen One had willingly switched sides to join an enemy he personally had to slay back then. On the other hand though, Xander could sort of see where Faith was coming from. It didn't mean that he agreed with her logic, but it was at least understandable. "How is Donna nowadays?" the man finally asked.

"She's good," Faith replied, lightening up a little. "And just so ya know, she's developed a wicked bad crush on you."

"Really?" Harris asked. He hadn't spent much time around the Key, so this was sort of unexpected. ( Talk about love at first sight, or puppy love anyway. Guess some things really are inevitable, whether her name's Dawn or Donna... )

"Hell, yeah. Not too surprising though, I mean who else is she gonna start lusting after? G is way too old, Fang junior is way too dead, and both those nerds B replaced you with barely even qualify for the Y chromosome club. Girl shares half my genes, so ya better watch out. One night when the squirt's old enough, smart money says she'll sneak into your bedroom and throw herself right on top of you."

Xander shuddered. "Tell her I already have a-" He quickly shut himself up.

"Ain't gonna lie for you, stud," Faith grinned. "And for the record, if you ever hurt my little sis? I'm gonna rip it off and shove it down your throat, comprende?"

"Yeah," Xander scowled. "I guess that shows how little you really think of me, if you honestly believe that I'd ever do something like that to an underage kid like her. Or has Cordelia been telling you stories about what happened between us?"

Faith held out her hands in apology. ( Geez, can I never stop screwing up with this guy? ) "Hey, didn't mean nothing by it. Just the obligatory warning to make sure you know where you stand. And you think Queen C confides in me, even after all this time? It's been over a year, and she still doesn't trust me," Faith grimaced.

Xander shrugged, and then they talked for a while longer. By the time the Slayer finally left, far away in Los Angeles it started to pour down as Darla staked herself, and the miracle child named Connor arrived into the world.

Room 229, Stevenson Hall, UC Sunnydale

Sunday December 23rd, 2001

10:07 am

A loud ding pulled Cordelia Chase out of her thoughts as she listened to the voices of her friends outside the dormitory's communal bathroom. ( Third time's the charm... ) Cordy mused. ( Oh, please, like you don't already know what it's going to say! )

She picked up the plastic strip lying on the sink's edge. Its color was what she'd known it would be: blue. No doubt about it, she was pregnant.

The brunette walked outside as Buffy, Willow, Tara, Amy and even Anya crowded around her. "Well? Well?" all of them demanded.

Cordelia shook her head. "Not here. Back in my room."

The troop of women made haste back to Cordelia's dorm. "So have you got a bun in the oven, or what?" Anya demanded.

Cordelia scowled at her. ( Why the hell is she even here again? ) "Yeah, I do. The test was positive. Again."

Willow looked green at the latest consequences of her 'tabula rasa' spell. "Oh my God! Cordelia, I'm so, so sorry!"

"Hey, that part of it isn't exactly your fault," the college cheerleader grated. "Nobody put a gun to my head and forced me to have sex with Xander. I mean we both wanted it, so if you wanna blame somebody for what happened then blame me and him for being unable to control our hormones. Or else the condom company for manufacturing such a lousy packet of Trojans."

"Th-this is h-h-huge," Tara stuttered. "What are you going to do?"

"Hell, I don't know." Cordelia fell back, so she was lying down on the bed. "Okay, let's examine the options. Abortion? Forget it. Adoption? No way..."

"So you're going to keep it?" Buffy looked strangely at her classmate. She was feeling almost...envious, because as a Vampire Slayer she knew the odds were she'd never live long enough to have children.

"I don't know," Cordelia gritted out in response. "For God's sake, I just found out for sure what's going on, okay? I need some time to process all this!"

"Are you going to tell Xander?" Amy asked, suspecting Cordelia wouldn't like hearing that particular question.

She got up and said, "Well...what exactly do you suggest I do? Show up on his doorstep and say, 'Hi, Xander. I know I told you I just want us to be friends now, but you see lately I've been throwing up non-stop. Plus my home pregnancy tests all came back positive. I haven't slept with anyone except you in ages, so I guess that means you're going to be a father in about seven and half months'. What do you think the odds are he'll just slam the door in my face?"

"Xander's going to hate me for this. Forever," Willow said miserably, wallowing in the depths of despair and self-blame as Tara uncomfortably glanced in her direction.

"Not necessarily," Anya said in a reasonable voice as everyone turned to look at her. "I mean, think about it." The ex-demon pointed at Cordelia, "You cheated on him with his best friend years ago, and now you're an unwed mother-to-be with half a college education and damned few prospects. Plus, your unborn child is going to grow up knowing that its father despises its mother."

Anya turned to Willow, ignoring Cordy's expression. "And you're going to be constantly beating yourself up over the fact that you acted like an idiot, and one who's also become a magic addict. So from a vengeance perspective, the man should be completely satisfied with everything that's happened. I for one honestly can't think of any reason why he'd hate you!"

( That's some pretty bizarre logic, even for her. ) "Anya, have you even remotely heard of the word 'tact'?" Buffy asked hopelessly, seeing both Cordelia and Willow about to burst into tears.

"M-maybe we should give Cordelia some alone time," Tara said hesitantly. All the others eventually nodded. As they started to file out Miss Chase asked the blonde witch to stay, which wasn't too surprising since the friendship between Tara and Cordelia nowadays was almost as tight as the one that had once existed between Xander and Willow.

Once they were alone Miss Maclay kept silent, waiting for Cordelia to say whatever was on her mind. Eventually the brunette muttered, "What am I going to do, Tara?"

"You'll do your best, the same as always," the Wiccan said in a calm and reassuring voice, her stutter somehow vanishing in private. "And don't worry, you won't be alone in this. Your child is almost certainly going to be spoiled rotten by all its aunts and uncles in the months and years to come."

( How does she always seem to know exactly the right thing to say? ) Cordelia looked at her friend in gratitude. "Thanks, I needed to hear that." Then she said hesitantly, "Uh, so how are you coping? I mean, with what's happened in your life lately?"

Tara's good mood seemed to vanish. "I love Willow, and she loves me. You of all people know that, I'm sure. But it...that just wasn't enough anymore, she...she simply wouldn't listen, Cordelia. That's why I had to end it between us. Willow promised me she could go a month without doing any magic. I said a week and we could talk about things then. And yet, less than two days later she performed that spell with Lethe's Bramble, and you and Xander..." Tara trailed off.

Cordelia snorted. "Yeah, well. Our love lives suck, no doubt about it."

Tara shrugged. "Have you talked to Xander at all ever since then?"

"No, not really," Cordelia replied. "He's not exactly a friend anymore, and with the way we ended up together that night...ugh."

Tara leaned forward. "If you don't mind my asking, can you tell me why you think it happened?"

Cordelia hesitated. "I don't know for sure, but maybe we felt something that was still present between us despite what happened during high school. So without any of the baggage to get in the way, maybe we just acted on our feelings."

"I see. But from what I've heard, you really hurt Xander back then," Miss Maclay said regretfully. "Both in what you did with Willow, and afterwards the lie that he had cheated on you instead. So you really think he still feels something for you, deep down?"

Cordy felt her cheeks flame red in embarrassment. "Yeah, well. Like I said, I don't know for sure. But I still keep coming back to the same damn question. Just how am I supposed to tell him about this?"

"I'd suggest doing it somewhere in private, and soon," Tara said with a minute shrug.

Demon dimension

The same time

The mercenary named Skip was having a conversation with his current employer, which at this point in time didn't have any distinct physical form. The most that the silver-colored armored demon could make out was a bright light, within which something with octopus-like tentacles was moving.

"Hey, look, I know the Harris kid pissed you off and you want to kill him as slowly and painfully as possible. But it's not that easy, you understand what I'm saying? That African heavyweight is going to crush me like a grapefruit the second he dies, and you can't pay me enough to commit suicide for you," the demon said passionately.

Skip listened to the fallen Power's nonverbal reply. "Fine, 'master', I'll try to figure something out. Like, as soon as you can distract his keeper long enough, I'll rip the kid's head off or something. But in the meantime, what do you want me to do about finding you some single white female to fool into going upstairs?"

Again the light replied and Skip looked stunned, "NOTHING? Uh, am I missing something here or what? Because with your previous candidate going completely off the rails..."

The mercenary shut up as the being that would have been called 'Jasmine' interrupted his monologue. Finally Skip replied, "You really want to wait that long for the tyke to grow up? And your choice of mom...well, all right, you're the boss. But hey, if this all eventually blows up in your face? Put me down for a big 'I told you so'!"

Outside 1630 Revello Drive, Sunnydale

Sunday January 20th, 2002

2:32 am

A month had passed and Cordelia still hadn't told Xander he was going to be a father. It was somewhat selfish of her, perhaps, but she just could not seem to find the right time to spill the big news. Well, at least none of the other five people who knew had told him, having been sworn to secrecy.

Even Anya, who had an annoying tendency to blurt out whatever was she was thinking, had kept mum on the subject.

Not that Xander had interacted all that much with the former demon since arriving back in town. The young man knew who Anya was from Eshu's visions nearly three years ago, and most of what had happened with her in the original timeline. But for some reason, here and now, they just didn't seem to mesh the way they might have.

Although perhaps that wasn't too surprising. They were both different people now, with different life experiences. Anya had learned that, while she desired a boyfriend, she didn't need to cling to one to make herself feel complete. Xander had become far more cautious as well after two years on his own, and that disastrous liaison with his ex as soon as he'd come home.

Spike, however, was interested in none of this. All he cared about was getting rid of Xander as soon as possible. In the vampire's opinion, his entire un-life had become completely intolerable ever since that git had come back to the Hellmouth. And now, if William the Bloody was any judge of demon hunters, the ponce was seriously planning on staking him soon. While it pained Spike to admit his one-time dinner snack was actually a serious threat to him, the chip forced him to be a lot more realistic nowadays.

( Can't just pay someone to kill 'im, if I wanna stick around here. That bloody tart of a pretender and the rest of 'em would come gunning for me the moment the word got out on the street. Bloody hell, Dru, I wish you were around. We could feast on his rotten, stinking carcass together, ) Spike thought broodily to himself.

Fool in love that he was, the British vampire was keeping watch on Joyce's house tonight as he knew that Buffy's birthday party, a.k.a. the annual January disaster, was being held there. He hadn't been invited to attend the festivities and his ability to enter the house had been revoked after the Slayer's mum had booted him out of her basement back then. Still, in his own bizarre way he was trying to be there for the woman who had somehow taken Drusilla's place in his heart.

All of a sudden the front door was yanked open and the party guests started to depart the premises. The vampire noticed that many of them had torn or damaged clothing and visible bruises, as if they'd been in some sort of fight. ( Par for the course then, ) William thought to himself with a smile. ( Sorry, luv, and too bad I missed it. But hafta say, have you ever considered not celebrating a birthday? )

The majority of the Scooby gang just staggered off to their cars, completely oblivious to his presence. Spike scowled when the droopy boy somehow seemed to sense him in the trees and came straight towards him like a bloodhound.

"Hello, Captain Peroxide. Having fun stalking Buffy at nights?" Xander said once he was close enough to the shadowy form of the vampire.

Again Spike scowled, wanting with all his heart to rip open a vein and bathe in this pillock's blood. ( One day, one day. ) "Just out for a walk, mate. It's a free country after all, innit?"

Xander just stared at him, and Spike didn't like that in the slightest. He also couldn't stand the fact that this sodding bloodbag wasn't afraid of him at all. "What? Wotcher lookin' at me like that for?" he finally said in his Cockney accent.

"I almost got killed by some demon calling himself Skip a few minutes ago and I was just wondering whether you were in on that. But I can see now that you weren't. Your impotent British bum never even had a clue what was going to happen here, did you?"

The annoying twerp was really trying his patience tonight, Spike thought to himself. "Too bad he missed, mate. Still, there's always next time."

Xander kept staring at the British undead. "I nearly got decapitated tonight, Spike, and it's made me realize just how short life – or even un-life – can be. That's why, even though I can hardly believe I'm saying this, I'm going to do you a favor."

"Yeah? What favor's that, then?" Spike sneered.

"I'm going to ask you a question. And I want you to be completely honest with yourself before you answer it. No posturing, no ego, just 'all we want is the facts, ma'am' territory. You think you can do that?"

William the Bloody didn't get it. "If I 'ad the inclination to. But what makes you think I'm even interested?"

"Because it's about Buffy."

Now that got Spike's attention. "All right, Harris, ask away."

"Fine. Now I know you love the Buffster, or whatever it is that passes for love with you evil undead types. But will she ever love you back? Can you see her at any point in the future returning your feelings, of her own free will? Keeping in mind how she feels about Angel and all."

Spike's blood almost started to boil, furious anger erupting on his face as he vamped out. "You buggering-"

"Can't do it, can you?" Xander interrupted, a hint of amusement on his face. "I knew it. Just the concept of Deadboy together with Buffy makes you unable to think straight, once upon a time I used to feel the same way. But come on, Spike, for once in your life, try to succeed at something by using your head instead of your heart or your dick. Will Buffy ever love you? THINK!"

The command was unmistakeable, and despite himself William the Bloody obeyed. He didn't exactly have a reputation for being a thinker. Ever since Drusilla had made him in Victorian-era London he'd followed his blood, which often didn't rush in the direction of his brain. So he'd make a lot of mistakes, but if there was one thing you could say about William the Bloody it was that he was very adaptable to almost any situation.

So he thought. He thought about everything he'd seen since arriving in Sunnydale over four years previously. He thought about everything since he'd met Buffy, and then Angel, and then Angelus. He thought about everything since being chipped. He especially thought about when he'd woken up one day, horrified by the erotic dream he'd had of his nemesis. He remembered how he'd discovered Buffy's soldier boy wasn't the long haul guy for her, and just how he got rid of the wanker. Finally he concentrated on remembering the way the Slayer had behaved toward him since learning of his feelings...and had treated him with nothing but contempt.

Spike's face fell, and the moment it did so Xander nodded. "That's right, Spike. Now you're getting it. You're tolerated, but nothing more. In fact, I'm surprised Joyce hasn't gotten rid of you by now the same way she got rid of Angel. I guess it must be because she knows Buffy isn't planning to make you her cuddle monkey anytime soon. Or ever. So, the question you should be asking yourself isn't when will Slay-gal jump into your arms and profess her undying love for you, it's how long will it take before she finally gets completely pissed off at you and puts you out of your misery."

Xander turned around and strode off, not bothering to wait for an answer. Thus he missed the expression of rage and determination on the vampire's face, as well as the decision to finally do something about the bloody situation.

Xander Harris's apartment, Sunnydale

Tuesday January 29th, 2002

5:34 pm

Xander was feeling restless and bored. Ever since he had come back to the old home town, the feeling of alienation had been growing stronger and stronger, and he didn't know what to do about it anymore.

At least he wasn't hurting for money. In terms of gainful employment carpentry interested him vaguely, but Xander's true skills lay elsewhere these days. But therein lay the rub. If the only thing you're good at has a very high probability of getting you killed, it tends to make you wonder whether survival is a mission priority anymore.

Exhaling, Xander sat down and flicked on the idiot box. A million channels, and nothing worth watching. ( God forbid but even 'Passions' is starting to look good to me nowadays. )

Thoughts of that show brought Spike to mind as well. Amy had told him recently that the vampire had disappeared from his crypt and no one knew where he'd gone. Xander himself suspected that after their conversation outside Buffy's house the bleached wonder might have decided to go to Africa and get himself a soul. ( Maybe he thinks that'll be enough to make Buffy love him. Hell, who knows; he might even be right. So if – when – Spike comes back, I'll need to keep an eye out for that. )

A hesitant knock at the door brought Xander back to the real world and he got up to answer it. "Tara? Hi. Uh, what are you doing here?"

"I'd like to talk to you...about Cordelia."

Xander gestured for the blond woman to come in. "What about her?"

"Well, she's been...kind of upset lately. I was hoping to be able to get you to patch things up with her, so that you two can at least be friends again."

Xander smiled sadly at Tara's hopeful expression. "Might be kind of hard. I don't think Cordy and I were ever really friends, even when we were dating."

"Excuse me?" the Wiccan looked confused.

Xander sighed and began to tell her about the past, from his point of view. "We were always fighting, you know? Both me and Cordelia couldn't help it, it was what we did. It goes all the way back to kindergarten and the yellow crayon incident. Okay, after we got serious I tried to tone it down and be more supportive, and I suppose she did too in her own Cordelia-like way. And passion, sure, there was lots of that. Well, until Queen C decided it would be more fun playing tonsil hockey with Willow. But friendship? I don't think we ever truly had that."

"You still feel bitter about what Willow calls 'the fluke'," Tara observed unhappily, ignoring the tonsil hockey comment.

Xander opened his mouth to deny it, but nothing came out. "I suppose so," he finally admitted. "Every time I see that scar on my stomach, I'm reminded of what happened then. And what happened afterwards as well."

"Yeah, I-I've heard the stories. But that isn't the Cordelia I know." It had been nearly three years since the brunette had lost her money, her parents and her former social position. "While at times she can still be pretty tactless, she's not that spoiled and shallow person anymore." Tara tried as best she could to convince her companion of that.

Grudgingly, Xander was forced to admit Tara might be right. That night when they'd both been a blank slate for a while was pretty much proof of it. Then Harris had an epiphany and said, "Cordelia doesn't know you're here, does she?"

Miss Maclay was instantly uncomfortable. "No."

"Tara, I know you mean well, but let's face it. If Cordelia doesn't want to talk to me about this-"

"No, it's not that!" the witch interrupted. "It's just that she...well, uh, she's been a bit...ill lately."

"Yeah? What's wrong with her?"

Tara knew she was now sliding down a very slippery slope trying to maintain her friend's secret, and tried desperately to change the subject. "It's nothing serious. Look, Xander, maybe if you two were to see a counselor or something-"

"I don't need to see a counselor," Xander replied at once, eyes narrowing. "Besides, I'm thinking of leaving town again soon."

"WHAT? No, you can't!" Tara yelped on instinct, thinking Xander was going to leave the Hellmouth for good.

"And why not?" He saw the young woman desperately scrambling to find the right words to say. "Tara, ya know, it's pretty obvious by now that you're hiding something from me. So what is it?"

"It's, it's not my secret to tell," the Wiccan said feebly. "So please don't ask me to betray a confidence."

"Cordelia's confidence?" Xander inquired, going over the situation as he saw Tara grimace. "Well, what the hell could be so-"

At that moment, something in Xander's brain went click.

Tara wanting him and Cordelia to reconcile. Cordelia being ill lately. Tara afraid he would disappear out of Cordy's life. His ex-girlfriend, who he had recently slept with, had a big secret. Put it all together, and it suddenly spelled 'duh'.

Tara saw the suddenly-freaked expression on Xander's face and cringed in dismay. Instinctively knowing the jig was up the blonde pulled out her cell phone, called Willow and asked her to bring the brunette over to Xander's. In the meanwhile the man in question just collapsed onto the sofa.

"Xander? Xander?" Tara tried to talk to him, but he was obviously zoned out completely. Eventually Cordelia and Willow arrived and Tara let them in before dragging herself and the redhead out of there.

Miss Chase really wasn't looking forward to this. Even if she'd known it was inevitable on some level, the woman had kept putting it off, hoping that she would somehow be spared this unpleasant task. But now Tara had unintentionally opened that can of worms and there was no putting it off any longer. "Xander?"

Finally Harris seemed to come out of the Twilight Zone. "Cordy? When did you get here?"

( About five minutes ago, you moron! ) "Are you okay?" she asked.

Xander shook his head like a dog, and then focused his laser-like gaze into her eyes. "Yeah, I...is it true? Are you p-p-p-puh, puh..." He couldn't bring himself to say the word.

Cordy swallowed. "Yeah, I'm pregnant. And it's yours."

He shook his head again but slowly, as if moving his cranium was suddenly very difficult. "So, you're sure? I mean, really sure?"

"What do you think, dorkhead?" Cordy snapped, the unfairness of the situation finally getting to her. "Or are you trying to imply that I'm the town bicycle?"

"No! I...holy shit," Xander kept shaking his head, not thinking about past mistakes now. "But, but we used a condom. Didn't we?"

"Yeah, but you know, they're not 100 percent reliable and it says so on the label. Or at least that's what the company's complaints department said when I bitched at them a while ago." She took a deep breath. "Look, Xander, I just want you to know I'm not expecting anything from you. I'll be fine, we both will-"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Xander interrupted angrily. "Look, Cordy, when we were together in high school you knew what my family life was like. Believe it or not, you were the only one I ever opened up to about what sort of people my parents are. And I have no intention of repeating what my father did to me, with my son or my daughter. So like it or not, I'm involved, and I intend to stay that way for at least the next 18 years!"

The Chase woman definitely hadn't been expecting to hear that. Her emotions going into hyperdrive, she asked, "So what exactly are you saying?"

"Uh, basically, whatever our kid needs, he or she is going to get. Look, Cordelia, we both know there's a lot of stuff between us, most of it being in the badness column. I'm not saying all's forgiven and let's pretend everything since senior year never happened. But we're going to be parents, and I'm not my father. So give me a chance to prove to you that I can be an adult about this," Xander said intensely.

Cordelia knew it wasn't going to be that easy, given the fact that 'happily ever after' was just a cheap gimmick found only in fairy tales and the minds of the deeply stupid. But the young woman had to admit raising her child with Xander instead of without would make things a lot easier for her in the long run. And Cordy knew her ex well enough to tell when he was being honest. She took Xander's hand and placed it on her stomach. "Say hello to our baby...daddy."

Xander gulped, staring at her belly as the enormity of the situation hit him all over again. "Uh, hi." He looked at Cordelia. "So, um, what are you hoping for? A boy or a girl?"

"I don't mind either way," Cordelia said, feeling that maybe, just maybe, everything was somehow falling into place. She wasn't expecting any white picket fences and two cats in the yard in her future, but hopefully everything would work out somehow. "You?"

"A boy," Xander said without hesitation. "And if my vote counts for anything, I'd like to name him Jesse."

"And if it's a girl?" Cordy asked, reminded of Xander's brother in all but blood. The first of their number lost to the forces of darkness, so long ago.

"Jenny," Harris replied, again without hesitation. "I think Giles would appreciate that a lot."

Cordelia couldn't disagree.

Main Street, Sunnydale

Tuesday April 30th, 2002

11:46 pm

( I can't believe I'm actually going to do this, ) Amy Madison thought to herself unhappily as she walked towards Xander's home.

A lot had changed ever since the night Xander had found out about Cordelia's pregnancy. For one thing, he'd insisted that she move in with him so he could help her with anything to do with the baby. The expectant mother cynically suspected Harris had asked because he didn't trust her not to have an 'accident' or whatever, and not because his feelings towards her had changed. Still, it made a certain amount of sense now that the morning sickness was growing worse, so she'd said yes.

Another thing that made a certain amount of sense to Amy was Buffy Summers recently bidding a not-so-fond farewell to the Hellmouth, and moving to Los Angeles.

Miss Madison hadn't been in town during the events in question as she, Faith and Giles had been in Gilroy to deal with a semi-insane priest who liked killing women. But she had heard afterwards that Andrew had accidentally summoned a Glarghk guhl kashma'nik demon one night, and the damned thing had sent Buffy into Fantasy Land after stabbing her with its stinger.

Someone with superhuman strength was required to deal with the bald and ugly creature in order to obtain the antidote. Spike was still missing in action, so Xander had called in an old marker from a few years ago when he had saved the life of Allen Francis Doyle. Angel had arrived to help Harris take care of business, and not long afterwards the entire Fang Gang, Doyle, Gunn, Wesley, Fred and Connor, had come to join him as well.

When Buffy had finally returned to reality and laid eyes on the cute four-month-old baby Connor, she had instantly fallen in love with him. The kid needed a mom, she still loved Captain Hair Gel, and the blond woman had no boyfriend in the picture. So Buffy had impulsively decided to transfer to UCLA and let Faith take over completely in Sunnydale. Joyce went ballistic when she'd heard the news, but her feelings had cut zero ice as far as Buffy was concerned. The Chosen One had told her mom she was packing her bags and moving into the Hyperion, and by the way please don't bother to call or write.

Amy mentally sighed as she let herself into Xander and Cordelia's apartment. It wasn't her job to try to fix that incredibly damaged mother-daughter relationship. It was her job to repay her debt to Eshu tonight. There was no point in trying to deny it; if it hadn't been for the trickster god and his colleagues, she'd have been a rat for all these years and Glory would have wreaked a lot more havoc with the world.

The young woman could hear Cordelia's light breathing and Xander's snoring from the separate bedrooms. The living arrangements didn't surprise Amy; she knew Harris hadn't forgotten that Cordelia played for both teams, and that meant keeping his distance from the girl who was now five months pregnant. Taking a deep breath, the witch raised her arms and murmured an ancient spell, sending the magic into both bedrooms. Grimacing, Miss Madison quickly turned around and left the apartment as silently as she'd entered it.

Xander's bedroom

A few minutes later

Xander woke up to hear the sound of screaming from Cordelia's bedroom.

He'd just had a bad dream, if in fact it had been a dream. With his luck, it had probably been the real deal. But anyway, Xander had found himself in the same dark place he'd ended up the night of Faith's sting operation when Angel had knocked him out on the street.

Eshu had been there as well, the African deity wearing his distinctive phallic headdress. "Hello, Harris," the masked creature had said simply.

"Eshu," Xander had replied carefully, looking around. "Been a long time. What's up?"

"Many things, but most importantly...you've become completely domesticated now."

The young man had instinctively bristled at the perceived insult. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Eshu had replied, "Well, you've started to bore me. I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised, you always did want to eventually settle down with a wife and 2.3 spawn. And it's just my bad luck that you impregnated your woman when you did. The most amusing thing you'll be probably be doing for the next few years is changing nappies every day."

"So this is goodbye?" Xander had asked, not bothering to conceal the satisfaction in his voice or correct the African god after it had called Cordelia 'his' woman.

"More like, I'll be seeing you. Because I know you, Harris. You attract trouble just like a magnet does iron filings, and no doubt your children will follow in your footsteps one day. I look forward to seeing it happen, and to all the amusement they'll provide me in the future."

Xander snapped out of his distracted state as Cordelia's screams continued to echo in the apartment and he rushed into her room. "Cordy? Cordelia, what's wrong? Is it the baby?"

The brunette woman was looking freaked, sitting on the edge of her bed with one hand instinctively curled over her stomach. "No, I...Xander? Is, is this real? Am I really here?"

"Huh? Of course you're here," Xander responded, instinctively trying to reassure her. "I'm here, you're here, it's all good." He suddenly thought he knew what had happened, and paled with worry. "Did you end up in some sorta fantasy land, like Buffy did recently? That demon juice didn't somehow infect you, did it?"

Miss Chase slowly shook her head. "No, I-I don't think so. I just...I had a nightmare, I guess."

"What happened?" Harris asked curiously.

Cordelia took a deep breath. "Um, well. I was...uh, I dunno where I was exactly, but I found myself alone with you. And you looked majorly different, especially with that hideous-looking patch over your left eye." Xander stiffened as she continued, "And what happened afterwards...oh God! I think I just want to forget it all as soon as possible."

"Tell me, please," Xander said gently.

The pregnant woman was in two minds about it, but eventually agreed. "Well, remember when you suggested that I not go to LA after high school was over? You, or at least the other you, he said he knew I'd been wondering lately how things would have turned out if I'd ignored your advice then. So he showed me what that life would have been like."

"I see," Xander tried to maintain a poker face, now suspecting that Cordelia hadn't had a nightmare at all. "And it was bad?"

Miss Chase saw no reason not to tell him everything. "Well, everything didn't work out as I'd planned, that was for sure. That guy who works for Angel, Doyle, he died a few months after I met him and Angel, and I inherited his visions. Basically, I became Angel's secretary instead of a movie star! And that son of a bitch Skip, he convinced me to become part-demon when the vision hangovers were about to kill me. And Angel's kid, Connor...I changed his diapers for God's sake, I was like his mom after Darla died. And then he came back as an adult after growing up in some sorta hell dimension for a few weeks? God, I never knew I had such an imagination..."

Xander knew this wasn't the case at all. "Anything else?"

"No, not really," she said with a shrug. "Why?"

Xander took a deep breath. "You were in love with Angel, weren't you?"

"WHAT?" Cordy yelled, getting up from the bed indignantly. "What the hell gave you that idea?"

Xander gently pulled her down again, and looked directly into her eyes. "You may as well get comfortable. This is going to be a long story, and there are parts of it I'm sure you're not going to like. Especially after what you just saw in that vision."

"Vision? Xander, that was just a dream. Wasn't it?" Cordelia was beginning to look freaked once more, as she again placed a hand on top of her swollen belly.

"I kind of doubt it. See, Cordelia, way back during our senior year of high school, I met someone by the name of Eshu..."

Episcopalian parish church, Sunnydale

Saturday November 9th, 2002

5:59 pm

Out of choice rather than necessity, the christening was being held after sunset.

Cordelia had finally delivered a girl, Jennifer Dawn Harris, after weeks of complaints about her hands and feet aching. She'd kept going to college until the end of the school year, but then deferred her studies till after the baby grew up a bit. As expected, the entire Scooby gang had pitched in to help her out as the big moment grew closer.

Willow and Tara had made up a few months ago, and were now definitely enjoying the love again. Miss Rosenberg had made a personal vow never to lapse back into her addiction, but that didn't mean all had been forgiven after the prior abuse. Willow had no idea how to make up for everything she'd done with that memory erasure spell. The fallout was always there and unable to be forgotten, Buffy's absence and Jenny's presence constantly serving as a reminder. Still, just like Faith, the redhead was trying hard and refused to give up.

Spike had shown up back in town a few weeks previously, almost completely insane from the soul he'd acquired. Giles had found him in Sunnydale High's basement, witnessing the vampire talking and babbling to himself. The librarian had taken William the Bloody upstairs, but upon hearing that Buffy had left town and was shacked up with Angel Spike had committed suicide by leaping out a window into the sunlight.

All that had been of little interest to Cordelia though. Thanks to several long conversations with Tara, Miss Chase had come to the point where she'd figured out that she'd wanted Xander to take her back and they could be a real family. She didn't care anymore about the story Harris had told her that night, regarding that nightmare world and her untimely death. If she had to, Cordelia was willing to do what she should have done back in 1998 and beg him to forgive her for past sins.

Amy Madison watched carefully as Xander and Cordelia presented their daughter to the officiating priest and Tara pledged herself to be the baby's godmother. She glanced around the parish hall: Buffy and Angel were present along with Connor, the ensouled vampire looking very uncomfortable while Buffy fussed with his son. Giles, Joyce, Faith, Willow, Jonathan, Andrew, Anya and Donna were also in attendance and bearing witness just as she was doing.

"No, no, this is all wrong it is. It's all different. Different...I can't abide how different it is!"

Everyone turned towards the front doors of the church at the sound of that female British voice, and beheld a strange sight. The vampiress named Drusilla was slowly coming forward holding a human, terrified-looking Harmony Kendall in her grasp. "Harmony!" Cordelia called out in shock.

"Cordy, help-!" the blonde ditz started to squeal, when Drusilla shut her up. "Now, now, good little girls must be quiet if they want their tea and cake later on."

"Let her go, Drusilla!" Angel stood up and glared at his childe. Buffy was at his side in an instant, handing off Connor to Giles as Joyce dragged Donna back. Jonathan and Andrew crowded around them, as Willow looked torn about what to do.

"You're not my Daddy. You're the Angel-beast, you are! Not Daddy. Not Daddy. Never Daddy," the female undead chanted out loud, her utter insanity obvious to everyone.

The priest looked as if he was going to step forward, but Tara held him in place whilst holding Jenny in her other arm. Faith got up in front of her and said, "You're playing some pretty deep odds coming in here like this, ya crazy bitch. Hostage or not, you really think you can take on two Slayers and walk away afterwards?" The Boston girl knew this particular vampire had been responsible for killing her predecessor Kendra, and was suddenly looking forward to staking Dru personally.

The English vampiress stared at Faith in confusion, holding Harmony firmly in place. "Why aren't you in jail where you belong?" Then her uncertainty cleared up, "Oh, that's right. My poor misguided kitten, he tried to 'elp you..." Drusilla turned to face Xander, whose face was like stone. "Hullo, kitten."

"Don't call me that," Xander spat out, the bad memories surfacing. "Now what do you want?"

"Manners!" Drusilla seemed insulted for a second. Then she squinted at him. "You've seen it too, haven't you kitten? How it would 'ave happened, that's why you've done what you did. Especially with my poor, lost, William." Drusilla suddenly scowled with an abrupt mood swing, "Naughty li'l kitty cat!"

Everyone apart from Amy and Cordelia glanced at Harris, who slowly started to smile. "If this is all about Spike, Drusilla, then let me tell you a few things. I'm not the one who made him fall in love with the enemy. I'm not the one who made him choose Slay-gal over you. I'm not the one who convinced him to go get a soul, and I'm definitely not the one who made him decide to end it all when he learned about Buffy and Angel. But you know what? All that couldn't have happened to a nicer guy."

Many people winced at his tactlessness, and Harmony yelped in pain as Drusilla furiously tightened her grip. "Bad kitten. Graaah!"

But Xander knew what he was doing. He slowly edged forward as Cordelia followed him, "I gotta say, Dru, it must really suck to be you right now. After all, both Darla and Spike are dust nowadays, and Angelus is caged up as well. All your family's gone one way or another, right? Think about it. Spending the rest of eternity alone without them. What's your take on that?"

"Seventeen years, kitten," Drusilla said dreamily, swaying slightly and making Harmony afraid that the unhinged creature was going to snap her neck at any moment. The vampiress had a vision of the future, "That woman who smells like jasmine, she'll take your little girl upstairs in 17 years and then it'll all be..." Dru trailed off, noticing the look of horror on Xander's face. "Oh! You'll be a granddaddy! And the Angel-beast's little boy will be the father, how wonderful!"

Everything seemed to happen very quickly after that.

Drusilla abruptly threw Harmony aside, the former high school cheerleader landing hard on one of the pews but otherwise unharmed. Roaring and vamping out Dru then leaped straight for Jenny, intending to rip her throat open.

Shoving Xander and Cordelia out of her way, Drusilla charged towards her target with supernatural speed. Backpedalling, Tara started to raise a hand to incant a protection spell, but it was too late. Drusilla's upper fangs had just barely pierced the baby's throat when Amy's eyes went completely white and she yelled out, "Immobilice!"

"NO!!!!" Cordelia screamed, starting to scramble up after Drusilla's eyes went wide as she froze into place.

Instinctively Tara yanked herself and Jenny away, the infant's neck bleeding slightly. At the same time Faith dashed forward with Slayer speed and plunged her stake into the vampire's unprotected back. Straight towards Dru's rotted, unbeating heart.

Dust exploded outwards, and the mad seer was no more.

"Jenny!! Is she okay? Is she all right?" Cordelia shrieked as she ran forward, Xander right behind her. And only Buffy noticed Angel staring sadly at the ashes that had once been his Drusilla.

Tara examined her goddaughter, "Yeah, I-I-I think so, sh-she only just managed to-"

But that was all the witch managed to get out before the brunette grabbed her three-month-old child and hugged her tight, tears streaming down Cordy's face out of delayed terror and gut-wrenching fear. "Oh thank God!"

Xander instinctively hugged both of his girls as well in a rather touching moment, after saying a heartfelt "Thanks" to Miss Madison and the brunette Slayer. Shocked and shaken by the events, still quivering with relief, the two parents instinctively clung to each other as their daughter started to cry.

Amy just looked at Xander, Cordelia and Jenny together as half the Scoobies crowded around them and the other half went to make sure Harmony was okay. The witch knew that from the looks of things, one day soon love might actually be born between the former cheerleader and her ex-boyfriend. It would probably get very complicated and chaotic, given Cordelia's bisexual nature, but then sometimes a little chaos could be a good thing.

The End