A/N: Hey, it's Doritos the Amazing! I'm posting for Slothe, because he's lazy. YAOI FANS, READ MY FIC...

It was a beautiful day in the magical forest. The birds were chirping out of tune, and the leaves off the trees shone a radiant green. But, below the branches of the forest, the rest of nature was disturbed by two rangers dueling with wooden swords. The shorter one, Ike, wore a blue tunic, a dirty red cape, and had blue hair with a green headband. Ike dodged a swing from his opponent, his father, then ran forward for two more strikes, then swung even harder for one last try, but then his father stabbed his sword towards Ike, and he flew backwards several meters. His father stood before Ike with identical an identical yellow tunic and yellow cape, but had brown hair and a thick, sturdy face; kind of like a tree.

"Well, Ike," he asked, "you've had enough?"

Ike sat up, and nodded yes, then swung at his father even harder than before.He almost laid a blow directly across his father's head, but his father easily blocked it with a horizontal guard. Then… suddenly, a shrieky voice sounded that stopped all the animals in the forest.

"Yoo HOO!"

A girl in a yellow dress and the same color hair as the father came running down the nearby hill into the forest, giggling along the way, but tripped over a rock and tumbled down for a couple of seconds, then landed on her head.

"Ah, Mist…"remarked the father, as he put down his weapon.

Then, Ike lifted his sword high above his head, gave out a loud, gibberish war cry, then charged at his father, who stepped out of the way and smacked Ike the back. The force caused Ike to fly a several feet and land flat on his face, but worse of all, he let go of his sword, which rolled out his sight.

"Ike?" Mist said in shock, "Oh NO!!" and she ran over to him.

Although Ike wasn't unconscious, he knew he would have to listen to one of his sister's lessons if he were awake, so he tried to close his eyes real tight, but ended up falling asleep.

In his dream, he was in a bed in a really small room. Crouched beside the bed was a woman with purple hair, who smiled while patting his leg.

After his eight second dream, Ike awoke somehow outside of the forest and in a field of flowers next to a sparkly lake. Mist was humming horribly off-key to a song he knew too well, so he got up and walked towards her.

"Mist!" he shouted

"Hiya, Ike," she said, still humming the tune, "you're-"

"Mist, stop singing before I start throwing rancid fish at your head!"

Mist stopped, but gave some sort of ham face at him, but then their father came running towards the two.

"Ah, so the sleeping prince finally awakens."

"I wasn't asleep, Father; Ike was!" said Mist

"Oh…yeah. Anyways, after that little battle we had, I think we should go another round, since you're barely getting the hang of it, and I like to win, too!."

"But Father," shouted Mist, "you shouldn't be fighting with Ike with those awfully heavy sticks; they're like, 3 lbs.!"

"Never fear, Mist," proclaimed Ike, standing up high with his hands on his hips, "All I need is one more round, and I know I can at least hit Father ONCE this time. Then I'll be a true mercenary."

"Fine," agreed his father, "but hold on a second, I need to do…something."

As Father ran off into the woods, an axe-wielding fighter with green hair was walking by carrying several crates. He wore a red brigand with an X going across the front, and wore baggy green pants.

"BOYD!" shouted Mist with a high-tone squeal, "OVER HERE! BOYD, BOYD!"

Boyd shrieked and put his boxes down, grabbed a shrub to hide them behind, then walked towards Ike and Mist.

"Damn it, Mist, why did you call him?" shouted Ike angrily.

"Everybody hates him, and I know how much YOU hate him!"

"Tru dat."

"Yeah."

"Hi, Ike... and Mist." Boyd looked around then asked, "Where's the commander?"

Just then the commander walked out of the woods with a bunch of sticks.

"Boyd, what are you doing here? What about the 'deliveries'?"

"I'll get back to that in a minute, Commander!"

"That's 'Father' to you!"

"But you're not-"

"Enough!" Father shouted, "Boyd, for your lack of delivering… deliveries, your punishment will be to be Ike's training partner. I think he should fight against someone closer to his skills first."

"I don't know about this closer to his skills thing, since I AM a professional fighter, but we'll see how much more brain damage Ike can take."

"… I'll take THAT as a compliment!" stated Ike

So Ike and Boyd each grabbed a stick, and randomly there was a stick shaped exactly like an axe in the pile, which Boyd grabbed. They both started a small pace away from each other, while Father waved a flag, and Mist stood in the back taunting Boyd.

"You can do it, Ike," she shouted, "Boyd sucks!"

"Shut your mouth!" Boyd said, thinking he did a damn good job

Ike ran forward and smacked Boyd in the face, and random sparks appeared where Boyd was hit. Then Boyd countered back across Ike's chest, with even MORE sparks.

"Boyd, you're a loser! Even I could do better than you!"

"Shut up, Mist!"

"You can't do anything right, you're a failure, you…" she thought for a second, "You were an accident."

Just then, within a span of three seconds, Boyd started shouting some sort of war cry, he grabbed a container full of gasoline and poured it on his axe, lit it on fire, and threw it directly at Mist's head. But while he couldn't defend himself, he was struck again by Ike.

"Owie!" he cried, "those sparks REALLY hurt!"

As Boyd fled to the side of the field arena, Mist was unconscious from the flaming axe that hit her, and Father came into the arena. He already grabbed a stick from the pile and tossed Ike three yellow bags.

"Take those, Ike. Those are vulneraries, which heal your wounds in battle; I'll give you a second to use some."

And so, while Father was sharpening his wooden sword, Ike attempted to open one of vulneraries, but spilt it on the grass in front of him, which then burned.

"Damn it!"

"Here I come, Ike!"

Father walked forwards and smacked Ike straight across the chest, which made Ike weak, but he couldn't give up; his pointless future was a stake. So he lifted his sword and swung with all his might, but the stick broke and exploded into a bunch of pieces. So Ike made a run for it, took out a vulnerary, but missed AGAIN, but the wind blew the corrosive dust right into Father's eyes.

"GAAAAAAAAAH, MY EYES!"

Father dropped the sword, and Ike saw his chance to strike. He grabbed the stick and swung with even MORE might than was all his might, and Father went down.

"That was some fighting you two did," Mist remarked, with a gaping axe wound still in her skull.

"Haha," laughed Ike, "that was nothing! Father was clearly holding back!"

"What? Father, is that true? I had 50 gold Ike would lose; and 200 Ike would literally get his ass handed to him!"

"The boy is right, Mist. But if he can tell, he is clearly improving."

"Yeah, but how hard is it to hold back your strength, can't be THAT hard!"

So Ike grabbed a piece of wood from the pile and attempted to lightly tap Mist on the head, but caused sparks to fly, and she fell on the ground, squirming with pain.

"How interesting," Ike said. "But anyways, Father, I beat you, so I'm a mercenary now."

"Well, you did kind of cheat with those vulneraries."

"Well don't worry Ike," started Boyd, who walked into the family conversation, "the thing to remember between us two is that I am a professional!"

"A professional who just got beat!" shouted Mist from the floor

"That was random chance, RANDOM CHANCE!"

"You mean you dumping your weapon in flammable material, igniting it, and tossing it straight for her head; is random? Hmm, all right Ike, I suppose you beating the idiot Boyd counts as something. So I think that things can work out between what happened today. From this point onward, you are now an official Griel Mercenary."

"Are you like serious?" asked Ike

"Yes. But, you'll have to catch up to everyone else, you'll get paid minimum wage, and have to empty the outhouse everyday for a week."

"All right! I can do that!" was Ike's response, while thinking to himself he got off easy.

"Wow," said Boyd, "what a day this has been, and who know what else the future will hold with our band of mercenaries."

Just then, a bird crapped on top of Boyd's head, but he didn't notice.

"Yep, I just know something big things are going to happen."

A/N: It's Doritos again! Review for my best friend/big brother, okay? Love ya!

P.S. Slothe is gonna KILL me for messing with his fic...because I don't think I was supposed to add author's notes!