YAY! Febuary 10th!
I felt compelled to write something for Obito's birthday, and yes its random, so here it is.
note: I don't own Naruto or else Obito wouldn't have died
Please Read and Review
let it commence...
B-day for Bito-kun
By Hammy Uchiha
On a cloudy day, in the middle of winter the tall blonde man dressed all in black wearing sunglasses stood out clearer than a black dot on a white sheet of paper. That wasn't his intent, but he didn't always think things through before he did them.
What was more obviously suspicious than a single man dressed all in black on a snowy day was when there was a girl wearing a black ski mask who came to join him. Furtively they looked around the street to make sure their victim was nowhere in sight. They street was empty; everyone was staying inside on such a chilly February day.
"Here's the goods," said the girl holding out a packet of important papers for her cohort to take. Out from the huge sleeves of the blonde's black coat slid a hook and with all the precision of a blind lemur jabbed the claw through the packet.
"Keep them safe," she muttered under her breath to him, "keep them secret,"
The blonde tried with his claw to stick them in his coat but was unable. After several moments of fumbling he finally reached out with his other hand to pull the manila envelope off the claw and stick them in his jacket. He coughed.
"That's it?" he asked.
"Yes, sensei," the ski masked girl coughed, "I mean, Claw-sama,"
"Right, right," said the Claw.
"And you'll show the plan to Hawkeyes, right?"
"Hai," replied the Claw.
"Then we're good," she said holding out a black gloved hand to shake. Out came the claw which she proceeded to heartily shake…maybe just a bit too heartily. The claw fell off and into the snow. With a cry of mortal anguish the blonde threw himself to the snow and after digging with both hands for several seconds he came across the claw and put it back on his hand. He then stood up and brushed himself off as if that hadn't just happened.
Though the street was very much deserted due to the incredibly cold weather the two carried on as if there was some reason their victim might be outside at this early hour of day in the freezing temperature. The two exchanged short bows and then vanished.
The masked ANBU with silver hair treaded wearily into the Hokage's office to give him his mission report. He didn't find the Hokage sitting in the Hokage's chair with his feet on the Hokage's desk, drinking the Hokage's energy drink, singing the Hokage's song, but rather the Claw, doing all of the above. The blonde snapped to attention when the ANBU entered. When he had reached the Hokage's desk the Claw slid him the manila envelope in exchange for the mission report. The ANBU twitched slightly before taking the packet with a grumble.
"Burn them, once you've read the plan," said the Claw in a low voice.
"You never went to this much work for my birthday," said the ANBU almost accusingly of the Claw.
"You wouldn't know that, now would you?" replied the Claw already reading the mission report. He stamped his approval on it and waved the ANBU out of his office.
"You may go, Hawkeyes," he said.
"Stop calling me that, sensei,"
"The Claw," corrected the blonde taking out his claw and beginning to laugh maliciously. The ANBU was seriously considering his sensei's sanity as he fled from the room.
The following morning was the beginning of a day that was especially special to one certain ninja, whose name was Obito. He woke up late…well, later than usual. He rolled out of bed with a yawn and pushed open the curtains just a bit so he could look out. Snow. Wonderful. Being February 10, the Uchiha grinned to himself, eager to see what sort of randomness this day would turn out. He was remembering the birthday of Arashi-sensei and what a bizarre…uh…interesting day that had been, and Rin's birthday had been…uh…interesting as well. They hadn't done anything amazingly…interesting for Kakashi's birthday on the account he didn't like surprises like the rest of his team and they had had to tone it down, to something…a little…less interesting.
After taking a long hot shower the Uchiha dressed and headed to the kitchen of his small apartment to see if there was anything to eat. Knowing that this was his apartment, he guessed there probably wasn't going to be anything. When he entered the kitchen, the phone was blinking with a message. As Obito searched through the cupboards he played the message back.
"Oh…hi, 'Bito-kun, well…uh…" Rin sounded rather unsure of herself over the phone. "Well, Arashi-sensei called off the meeting today, you know, because of the weather, so uh…yeah…talk to you later," she said and the phone clicked off. Obito emerged from under his sink, where he had been looking for food. It was rather strange he thought that Rin mentioned nothing about today being his birthday. Hmmm… Perplexed the Uchiha opened the fridge to look at the empty shelves.
"This is most perplexing," he muttered. If there was no food, he could not eat…but then it meant…Ichiraku ramen for breakfast!
That perked him up and he donned his winter coat, hat, gloves and most important of all his goggles. Once he was suited up he opened the door and trudged out into the wind.
"This is a terrible place to go for breakfast," complained Anko over her bowl of Ichiraku ramen.
"Why?" asked Gai slurping up his noodles.
"Because! What if he comes here for breakfast?"
"He wouldn't come here for breakfast,"
"But what if he does?!"
"You, man of youth!" cried Gai pointing to a temporarily hired man of the ramen shop.
"Uh…what?"
"Does a certain Obito Uchiha eat breakfast at this fine establishment often?" demanded Gai. The man looked uncertain.
"Describe him."
"He's about my height," explained Gai standing up to show the man. "With dark raven hair and dark eyes to match. He usually wears a navy blue jacket with the crest of his clan on the back,"
"Goggles, don't forget the goggles," added Anko.
"Right…"
"And he's good looking too," interjected Anko again blushing slightly at the thought of Obito.
"But not as good looking as me!" said Gai striking a pose. It was very obvious that the ramen man had no idea what they were talking about
"I just started here…" he began to say.
"See? He never comes here for breakfast," said Gai sitting down.
"But that's not what he said!"
"That's he meant," explained Gai. "Besides what person in their youth and in their right mind eats ramen for breakfast?"
"We do, apparently," answered Anko.
"Oh yeah…right," muttered Gai resolving to think things through before they came out of his mouth next time.
"Did you get him a gift?" he asked Anko after several moments of silence.
"Of course I did!" she cried offended that he would ask her such a question.
"What'd you get him?" asked Gai.
"What'd you get who?" asked a voice and the two turned to see none other than the Uchiha in question seated on a stool nearby. Gai and Anko were frozen in horror their hair standing on end.
"Was it something I said?" asked Obito then a smirk crept across his face. "I see you just wanted some alooone time," he said elbowing Gai in the ribs and scooting down a couple of stools to give them room. Anko's cheeks were flaming red by now. Shoving her money onto the counter she left in a hurry. Gai too was looking for an escape rout, but Obito had moved back over.
"So what are you doing here anyways?" he asked Gai. Gai looked around.
"Sorry Uchiha-san, gotta run," he said and vanished leaving his money on the counter. Obito shrugged, grinning to himself, they were up to something, and he could tell it.
After a breakfast of his favorite ramen, Obito didn't know what to do next. Maybe they want me to go find them… So he prepared himself and headed off to Rin's house. Unfortunately she wasn't there, and Kakashi's house was just the same. The Uchiha was a little baffled by this and a whisper of a thought crossed his mind. What if they forgot today is my birthday? Quickly he headed to the Hokage tower where Arashi-sensei would definitely be. Without much trouble he was soon at the door to the Hokage's office. He knocked once before opening the door. There was Arashi's desk, and his chair, and even his half finished energy drink. But where, for the love of Fugaku, was Arashi?
Obito went to the desk, maybe he was at a meeting or something, but all the Uchiha found was the claw sitting on the desk as if waiting for the Yondaime's alter ego to return. That was bizarre, there were only a few times that Obito had seen the Claw in action, but it seemed to him that he wouldn't leave his claw behind.
"What the hell is going on?" he muttered to himself. "Maybe the old Sandaime would know…"
Quietly he left the claw on the desk and returned to the hall to find the Sandaime.
"But…but…THE CLAW!!!" cried the Yondaime from the ramen stool where he was waiting for lunch to be done.
"What's so great about that stupid claw anyways?" demanded Kakashi. Arashi turned to Kakashi and began to shake him by his shoulders.
"You ask what's so great about it?!" he cried. "It's the CLAW!!!"
"It's creepy," added Rin.
"And disturbing," added the Sandaime from where he was eating his ramen. Arashi leapt off his stool pointing an accusing finger at the Sandaime.
"Where did you come from old man?!" he cried.
"I'm hungry, its lunchtime," replied the former Hokage un-amused by the antics of his successor.
"Ramen's done," said the temporary worker setting down a giant bowl of ramen. That quieted Arashi down for a while, until he finished the bowl.
"Is everything ready to go?" he asked Rin and Kakashi.
"Aye, aye, captain," replied Rin. Kakashi nodded.
"Yeah I told all the people I supposed to, but really…why are we making such a big deal out of this..?"
The Yondaime practically tackled his student, but instead clapped a hand over his mouth.
"Speak not your evil words," he hissed. Kakashi faintly twitched.
"I told all the people I was supposed to as well too," said Rin.
"Why didn't anyone tell me?" asked the Sandaime bringing himself back into the conversation.
"He's a spy!!" cried the Yondaime pointing once more is accusation of the former Hokage. "A SPY!!!"
"Sensei," begged Rin, "Not so loud," she said quietly.
"Speaking of the ever so special birthday ninja, has anyone seen him this morning?" asked Kakashi.
"I called him this morning, as indicated," replied Rin. But Arashi was shaking his head and the Sandaime shrugged.
"I haven't,"
"WHY NOT?! DON'T YOU REPORT TO YOUR BOSS IN THE MORNING, OLD MAN, YOU SPY?!?!?" yelled Arashi.
"Sensei!"
"There he is!!" yelled Kakashi.
Obito arrived at the ramen stand to find what looked like the aftermath of a cyclone. The Sandaime was getting up off the floor brushing off his clothes and righting the stool.
"Have you seen Arashi-sensei?" asked Obito of the former Hokage.
"No," replied the Sandaime after several shifty looks.
"Could I borrow some money for lunch, Sandaime-sama?" asked Obito not noticing the shifty looks, he had been looking for Gai to lend him some money, but he had been unsuccessful at finding him. The Sandaime handed over the money without a fuss and Obito ran off to get something other than ramen for lunch. When he had gone, Arashi, Rin and Kakashi came out to finish their ramen.
"That was a close one," breathed Rin with a sigh of relief.
"You owe me cash," said the Sandaime holding out a hand. The Yondaime twitched.
"Why? You're the one who gave him the money in the first place, you old geezer," accused Arashi.
"Then tell me what's going on here," demanded the Sandaime.
"Fine," said Kakashi silencing his sensei with a deadly look.
The day continued without further mishap until after the sun had slid beneath the village walls and Obito headed home, tired and grumpy. This turned out to be some crappy birthday. He hadn't even seen any of his friends all day, except Anko and Gai and only for like what, 3 minutes? Plus it was starting to snow again and he was freezing. Grumpy the Uchiha trudged through the snow back towards his apartment. What a lousy day, and now he was going home to an empty house and empty cupboards. His stomach growled for emphasis on the empty cupboards part. He had spent all the money the Sandaime had loaned him and now he was hungry again. He climbed up the stairs and quickly unlocked his front door.
He stepped into the dark house and flipped on the lights. Silence. Dead Silence. A very small part of him had been expecting some sort of surprise, but that hope was denied when nothing happened. Grumpily he kicked off his boots and shut the door.
And then he went to hang up his coat in the closet. He opened the door and a closet full of people fell out on him. Luckily the Uchiha was quick and dodged the avalanche.
"That didn't work as well as I thought it would," came a voice from beneath the pile of people trying to untangle themselves from the mass. Obito was standing flattened against the wall, his eyes wide clutching a kunai for dear life.
"Dangit," muttered Gai, "We forgot to yell,"
"Happy Birthday 'Bito-kun!" cried Anko at last emerging from the heap. Obito didn't move his eyes still wide in shock.
"Obito-kun?" asked Rin looking worriedly at him. "'Bito-kun?" she asked again waving a hand in front of his face. The Uchiha groaned as the kunai slipped from his hands and he passed out on the floor.
"Mission complete!" cheered the Yondaime giving a confused Kakashi a high five.
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I can't shake the slight feeling that there's something wrong with that ending...
please tell me what you think
-Hammy Uchiha
