A/N: This fic is not connected to "All's Fair In Love And War" so to avoid confusion for those who have read that story first. :) Tarma

This one has an angsty Phoenix as he tries to come to terms with the fact that he is in love with a man; uncertain about how this man feels about him and wondering whether or not he should come clean with how he feels or keep quiet, he shuts himself off from those who love him most (at first) as he tries to deal with his own anguished emotions on his own...which only makes things worse. He discovers it helps to have someone to confide in as he tries to sort out his muddled feelings. I hope you enjoy this one. Comments are appreciated and welcomed. :)

Rated M, NC-17 for male/male relationships, yaoi, Phoenix and Edgeworth

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I lay down on the bed, my mind whirling in circles. I felt hot, I felt cold, I felt giddy, I felt afraid. I wanted so much to be able to tell him what I felt but I found my courage failing me time and again. I would catch his eye and wanted to speak but I couldn't get the words past my clenched lips. I ended up, unkindly though not at all dishonest, looking like an idiot.

'No more than usual, I thought dismally, wrapping my arms around the large white pillow, holding it close to my chest. 'Why did I have to fall for him? Of ALL people, why him? You MUST be mad, Wright!'

I was afraid that I was going mad. Every time I was near him or he was near me, my heart would begin pounding painfully in my chest, my breath caught in my throat and my face would flush.

I'm pretty sure that this caused some raised eyebrows among the people who knew me-embarrassingly so, I thought-I often wondered what he thought. Did he, as I was afraid, think I was an idiot or did he perhaps understand? I sure hoped so.

I groaned loudly as I turned over on the bed, trying to keep back two tears threatening to spill from my eyes. Why did I feel like this, particularly toward HIM? Why HIM, of all people?!

Oh god...what was I going to do? I couldn't avoid him forever...though goodness knows I'd been trying to lately. I knew I would have to face it-and him-sooner or later.

But..when I did..what would happen? I clutched the pillow even more tightly to my chest. I didn't know and that was the worst thing of all. What happened if he...

No. I ruthlessly cut off that train of thought. It was too much to bear.

What was I going to do? I had to tell him...I had to!

You ARE mad., Wright... You have to be...

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Before I begin, I should introduce myself. My name is Phoenix Wright and I am a defense lawyer. I run the Wright & Co. Law Offices with my assistant, Maya Fey, sister of the late Mia Fey, my mentor and friend.

I sure miss the Chief some days but Maya and I have managed to get by since her death. I know she's still looking out for Maya and me from the other side so I am content.

If we need her, I know she's not too far away. Maya is a spiritual medium-though still in training- and can be the conduit for her sister if need be. If we really need her, she comes through Maya on her own. Either way, I know we're covered.

As I looked out the window on that rainy morning a couple of years ago, I wished with all my heart that the Chief was there to talk to for I desperately needed her advice.

I sighed wistfully as I stared at the raindrops slowly sliding down the window glass, thinking about him again for the hundredth time that day. This had been going on for four months and I was wondering what it all meant...and why I was feeling the way I did.

What was it about him, I wondered, that attracted me so strongly, that made me weak in the knees when I was near him or melted whenever I heard his voice? I closed my eyes tightly, trying to banish the image of him forming in my mind's eye but it was useless–he came anyway. Unbidden, unaware but not exactly unwanted...and that was what confused me.

This had never happened to me before. I was very confused and uncertain of my feelings or even why I felt the way I did. I had tried, a million times or more it seemed, to understand why I felt this way and I was no nearer to an answer when I finished than when I had started.

I sighed deeply, resting my face on my hand watching the rain fall. There was a crash of thunder that momentarily startled me and a flash of lightning that lit up my dark office. 'Just like in my soul,' I thought sadly, I don't know why I'm feeling this way and I have no idea how he feels which is the worst thing of all.'

There was a void in my heart I couldn't fill with anyone save him and I don't know which thought was troubling me most: pining away for him at a distance or gathering up my courage to tell him how I felt and he rejects me. I felt my heart constrict painfully at the very thought.

I sighed again. The endless conundrum: too afraid to tell him what I feel and even more afraid of what he would say.

I squeezed my eyes even harder shut, wishing that this Prince would leave me in peace but no..he chose to stay in my mind and torment me. He is so beautiful..so charming...so exquisite...so...

"NICK!" a voice yelled, cutting through my thoughts and banishing him in an instant. I jumped as I realized that Maya was standing right beside the desk, my face turning beet red in the process.

"AH!" I yelled, jumping out of my chair at least a foot, clutching the side of my desk in trembling hands, "Don't scare me like that, Maya!"

"Sorry, Nick," she said apologetically, looking more closely at my flustered face and shaking hands as I tried to regain my composure, "I didn't realize that you were so deep in thought." She looked at me, concerned. "Are you ok, Nick? You look pretty shaken."

"No..No...I'm...I'm ok, Maya," I replied, my shaking hands straightening my tie and trying to keep my composure which I was rapidly losing, "you just caught me unaware, that's all."

She eyed me critically. "Are you sure? You look like you're expecting a tornado to come through the office any minute."

She doesn't know how right she is,' I thought to myself, trying to hide my ever reddening face, 'that's exactly the way I feel.' I sighed. 'Like a train wreck about to happen.'

"Nick...why are you sighing like that?"

I gulped. I really had to stop doing that.

"Ummm...no reason.." I stammered as she gave me a piercing look, "I'm...just nervous about the trial tomorrow, that's all." Nice excuse, Wright. You might even believe it.

She nodded in complete understanding. "That makes sense," she said as she tidied up my desk, "it would be enough to make anybody jumpy." She looked at me again, her eyebrow raising. "Are you SURE you're ok? You don't look it."

I had to chuckle at that one. She sounded so much like her older sister, Mia, it was amazing. The Chief always told me to relax, to try and enjoy things more when she was here. I looked out the window again, grateful for any excuse not to think of him.

"I'm fine," I lied through my teeth, "don't worry so much, Maya." I ruffled her hair playfully. "You worry too much."

"Well...ok..if you say so, Nick," she said not fully convinced. I was hoping mightily that she would get back to whatever she was doing soon because the effort of keeping this fake smile on my face was beginning to become extremely difficult. Not to mention that my face hurt from the effort.

She looked at me for a few moments before she turned and began to do some cleaning, chattering happily as she did so. My smile faded the instant her back was turned and I turned again towards the window. It had been two years since Mia's murder and subsequent trial of Redd White which ended with a guilty verdict and Mr. White receiving the punishment he so richly deserved.

I missed her and even more so today. Who else could I confide in save Mia? Who else would understand? Maya, love her though I did like a sister, probably wouldn't understand and I didn't want her to think badly-or less-of me.

Did she even notice, I wondered as she busied herself in the office, how much like Mia she is? I had to smile at that. Maya, bless her little heart, had done more than anyone to help me and to lift my spirits after Mia's murder which helped me to root out her murderer and bring him to justice. I always wondered if Mia was proud of me not only for that but for keeping Fey Law Offices (now Wright & Co. Law Offices) going under a new name and new management.

I hoped so. It had been a struggle but we had made it through and the office was doing well these days.

'Mia,' I thought to myself, 'I wish you were here. I need so much to confide in someone and help me seek direction. Today is the day I miss you the most.' I pressed my palms and my forehead to the window, grateful that it was cold and hoping that would calm the raging headache that was beginning to form all too painfully at the back of my head.

'I'm so lost, Mia,' I thought desperately, 'what do I do? I'm out of my depth here; I don't have anyone I could possibly even open to about this and its tearing me apart inside.' Hard as I tried, I couldn't keep two tears from rolling down my cheeks which were soon followed by a third, fourth and fifth until a virtual cascade was pouring down my face.

I couldn't stop it even if I wanted to and I didn't even bother to try. I felt my hands clench into fists and my knees turn to water as I cried bitter tears and not caring who heard me. I was only dimly aware of someone calling my name and, as I started to sink to the floor, I felt arms go around me and hold me.

What...who...no...NO! Not Maya...please no..I couldn't bear her hating me, too... I fought to get away from the arms that held me so strongly. Please, no Maya, please let me go! Please!

"Wright!" the commanding voice of Mia Fey cut through my fevered brain, "Wright! Its me, Mia! Stop..Stop!"

With a cry wrenched deep from within my soul, I collapsed in her arms and let her hold me as she stroked my hair, crooning soft words, like a mother to her child. I clutched at her as I wept, deep wracking sobs; she held me through it all and comforted me.

With what seemed like hours later (though it was really only about ten minutes or so), she gently put me from her and sat in the chair beside me, drying my tears with her handkerchief. To say the least, I felt like a complete and total fool, breaking down like that in front of Mia...or was it Maya? No...it was definitely Mia.

"There, there, Wright," she soothed, stroking my hair as she held my head to her chest, "everything will be alright."

She held me for a time and, after the snuffles and sobs had subsided, she gently held me up, looking into my tear-stained face. She smiled at me and I felt a little better.

"What's the matter, Phoenix?" she asked, her concern palpable in her voice, "I've never seen like this before. Can you tell me what is wrong?"

"Chief...I...I...I..." My voice choked once again as fresh sobs burst from me, collapsing once more and crying in her arms. She said nothing but held me, stroking my hair and crooning softly to me like a mother comforting a child would.

When it was all over, I scrubbed at my eyes with my knuckles. I assumed that my nose must have been as big as an apple since I could hardly breathe. And not to mention that I felt like the world's biggest fool.

"Are you alright now, Phoenix?" she said softly.

I looked at her and nodded slowly. "I...think so," I said shakily. "I'll be all right in a minute." I took a few big gulps of air to steady my shaky nerves while Mia waited patiently for me to compose myself.

I took a deep breath and told her everything: what I was feeling, how long I had been feeling it and trying to keep it hidden, for whom I was feeling it and why I was a sobbing mess right now. She listened without comment until I had talked myself out and sat quietly, a soaking handkerchief clutched in my fingers.

She looked kindly at me and only said, "Follow your heart, Phoenix," before giving me a kiss on the cheek and a bright smile. She leaned over to me, gave me a hug and whispered something else before she left.

I chuckled as Maya came back to herself..and immediately began fussing over me when she saw the state I was in. She demanded to know, repeatedly, if I was OK and was I sure I'm ok. I had to laugh at the serious expression on her face which did nettle her a little so I quickly soothed over ruffled feathers by accepting her offer to make me a cup of tea.

I drank it slowly, savoring each mouthful, as I sat back and relaxed, my heart lighter than it had been in months. Maya continued to make a fuss over me and, this time, I sat back and let her. I knew that she liked doing things for me now and again; it was simply her way.

And, as you may be wondering about at this point in time, what was it that Mia had whispered in my ear before she left that caused me such amusement?

"Edgeworth? I thought you had better taste than that." A sly wink, a giggle and then: "Go get him, Phoenix!"