A/N:  Thank you everyone for your continued feedback, I appreciate it greatly!  I'm pleased you're enjoying this story and hope that this part is mildly interesting to you!  This part is a little shorter than usual but it's two scenes that I was keen to put in.  J  But again, thank you for your words of encouragement!

Part 7

Rory returned on Saturday morning, having already planned with Lorelai a day of television reruns and old movies.  They spoke only briefly of Rory's Friday night dinner and the reaction of Emily and Richard.  Lorelai was keen to know that they had understood what it meant and that she would be well and truly out of action for a while.  She was less interested in their reaction and didn't ask Rory to elaborate, more out of a fear that they didn't react then anything else.  And she was right to some extent; they had received the information with a lingering pause before nodding their heads slowly that they understood.  They had asked a few questions; how Lorelai's heath was at the moment and what her treatment would be.  They had offered money of course and that they would track down the finest haematologist in the country and have him or her oversee her chemotherapy.  Rory had predictably smiled politely and thanked them for the offer but explained at this stage they wanted to be close to Stars Hollow. 

Emily and Richard both took the refusal easily, nodding their heads like they knew what the answer would be anyway.  Rory couldn't help but notice the distant look in their eye and worrisome daydream they settled in to during stages of awkward silence.  And when she went to leave, a little later than usual; they had both hugged her tightly.  As Rory went to draw away from her and exit through the front door, Emily had reached for her hand and held her back for a moment.  "Tell Lorelai that we're thinking of her and that anything she needs; to just ask."  The words came out a bit jumbled and hesitant, unsure of how to fully articulate what she wanted to say without actually saying it.  "And that we would like to visit but we won't unless she wants us to.  You'll let us know won't you Rory?" Emily asked softly. 

Rory nodded and squeezed Emily's hand.  "I'll keep in touch and keep you updated," she stated gently.  ""I'm sure Mom will want a visit at some stage, I'll let you know.  It's really just Luke and I that she's wanting to see at the moment, but it's been huge.  She's still really shocked." 

Emily released her grip and watched as Rory slip out the door.  She was almost at the car when Emily called out behind her.  "Rory?" she asked, "Does Christopher know?"

Rory shook her head.  "No," she began, "I heard from him a few weeks ago, he was in LAX flying to Australia; his plan at that stage was to backpack his way up the east coast, Sydney to Cairns or something.  He quit his job, left Georgia with her mother to go to France or was it Norway?  I don't know, he sounded a bit weird; like Dad used to be."

"Transient," Richard muttered, walking up behind Emily.  He breathed heavily before glancing back up at Rory, "Give Luke a message for us, if you could," he stated.  "Just ask him to look after her.  For us, tell him to look after her."

They disappeared inside again at that, Rory left still leaning against her car door.  She was just settling in to the driver's seat when she heard a loud voice from inside the house.  Emily was screaming at a maid, threatening to fire her; no doubt any staff that came near the Gilmore house for the next few months was going to get the brunt of Emily's frustration. 

Still, Rory didn't share too much with Lorelai; just told her that the dinner went okay and they were of course worried about her.  She didn't elaborate though; she was predictably protective of Lorelai and particularly keen to decrease any other stress that might impact on her.  Throughout the day though, they were surprisingly relaxed, chatting easily without any pauses or uncomfortable silent moments.  

They watched Stand By Me and spent two hours commenting on the youthful River Pheonix and trying to decide if Sliders was a career high or low for Jerry O'Connell.  They had moved on to watching Storm Boy when they both became increasingly distracted, shuffling their position and refilling their sodas.  They chatted easily over the dialogue but lapsed into silence.  It wasn't uncomfortable, just there; falling into the background like the soft sound of classical music.

"Mom?" Rory asked, as if pausing the bow in mid vibrato. 

"Yes daughter?" Lorelai answered with a small smile.

"I was just wondering if you still had the booklets, you know, the info ones?"  Rory looked down at her hands and shrugged her shoulders, she felt like she might be challenging the relaxed environment she had created that day.  "I just wanted to have a read if that's okay with you."

"Yeah, of course kid.  They're under my brown boots."

"They're what?" Rory asked, her forehead creased in confusion.  "Under your brown boots?  The ones you don't wear?"

Lorelai nodded and waved her hand in the air, a little embarrassed.  "Well, since I don't wear the boots then I wouldn't have to see them all the time and be reminded that I hadn't read them but if I kept them under the brown ones then I would know where they are if I wanted to.  Those boots are very uncomfortable and a bit on the unfashionable side this season but still, they kind of themed the brochures I thought."

"I hear ya." Rory said nodding.  "Would you mind if I read them?"

"Sure, why don't you bring them over and we can read and well, probably panic together." 

Rory slowly walked over to the hallway cupboard where Lorelai's knee high boots were sitting at the bottom of the shelves, to the side of a rolled up throw rug and a portable cooler that hadn't been used since the mid 90's.  Underneath the soles of the shoes was a cream coloured A5 envelope and when Rory picked it up, she could see various coloured booklets packed tightly into the envelope.  Returning back to the sofa, she sat cross legged in the middle and faced Lorelai, sitting up and leaning into the corner of the couch.  "Alright," Rory began, pulling out four brochures, each identical in size and themed front cover, but with a different coloured thick border.  "So there's one on chemotherapy; one on emotions, one on hair loss and one on the cancer care unit, although that one looks different to the others, I think it's just about the hospital unit.  The other three are from some cancer council place.  I think I've heard of them, they do fundraisers at Yale."

Lorelai nodded slowly and then shrugged, immediately a little overwhelmed.  Rory had just said the word 'cancer' twice and it made her head spin, even at the sound of the word she felt her throat constrict a little and the breath catch in her throat.  She didn't know where to start of what to try and take in first.  All the things she had read or heard about in newspapers or magazines was sitting with her at that moment and she was aware that she had to read the professional publications to distinguish between the facts and her racing mind.  But it was easier to be cognitively aware of something then to actually do it, because to do it required her to engage in her emotions and to move forward from the mild avoidance strategies she was employing at that moment. 

She knew though, from just general knowledge and picking things up over the years that cancer meant life threatening and chemotherapy meant sickness, hair loss and dependence.  She had really only heard about leukaemia in relation to kids and the images she had seen had only ever evoked feelings of sadness and loss.  She couldn't imagine people feeling depressed when they looked at her or could only imagine death when they talked with her.  And that was kind of why she didn't want to see anyone, she didn't want people feeling sorry for her or giving her compassion that she wouldn't normally get. 

"Do you want to pick one to skim or I can put them away if you like; back under the evil boots?" Rory asked quietly, knowing she was breaking Lorelai's reverie. 

"You pick," Lorelai instructed, smiling and meeting Rory's eyes to give her a slight sense of confidence; the message to say it's okay. 

Rory nodded deliberately, slowly reviewing each title and chewing her lower lip in indecision.  She eventually settled on the general chemotherapy booklet and started flicking through the first couple of pages.  "Do you want to know anything in particular?" Rory asked to which Lorelai shook her head.  "Alright, I kind of want to know what chemotherapy is...other than just a medication."

"Alright...educate me as well then."

"You sure?" Rory asked, not wanting to push her.

"Yes, I'm sure."  Lorelai laughed nervously, "it's not the information that's the enemy."

Rory coughed and cleared her throat, "Well, it says here that chemotherapy, or chemo as all the cool kids call it, is called a cytotoxic drug which translates to mean cell killing.  But it can't just kill the cancer cells because they haven't figured that out yet, so it kills the good cells too."

"Good cells?"

Rory nodded.  "Hold that thought, I'm going to assume it will explain what that means."  She flicked to the next page, surprised that the information in the booklets were simple, straight forward and lacked a huge amount of medical terms.  "Here we go, so the good cells that are killed are part of the side effects by the looks of it."

"Like what?"  It only took a few sentences but it was enough to motivate her to seek some information to understand, on the simplest of levels, what Monday might bring."

"Mmmm.  The chemo only kills dividing cells because cancer cells divide really quickly and lots of our cells as adults don't divide.  But any that do are affected by the drug.  So the side effects come because it kills healthy skin, hair follicles and digestive cells apparently."

"Hair falls out, nausea; makes sense I guess." 

"Yeah."  Rory nodded, flicking another couple of pages.  "I can't imagine you without hair," she conceded a little shyly.  "I know that's not the big deal but still, weird."

"Very weird."  Lorelai nodded and subconsciously ran her fingers through her hair.  "But hey, it's grows back right?"

Rory nodded eagerly.  "A different colour sometimes, apparently."

Lorelai raised her eyebrows.  "Blond?"

Laughing gently, Rory shook her head.  "Not that drastic."  She continued to read before shutting the booklet.  "Remission is what we want," she declared.  "Complete remission means good."

"That means it's gone, right?'"

"Means there's no sign of the cancer."  Rory tossed the brochures on the table and leaned back, resting her elbow on the back of the sofa.  "Can I ask you a question?" she posed softly.

"Not if you're still looking for an answer as to why we can't make snow in the freezer."  She smiled though and nodded her head.

There was a long pause and Rory seemed to search for the right words, her eyelids blinking with increased frequency.  "Are you scared?" she finally asked in a soft, shaky voice.

Lorelai seemed to consider the question carefully.  "Yes," she answered simply and clearly.  "And I think that's okay," she admitted.  "You?"

Rory shuffled forward and hugged Lorelai tightly.  "I just want you to be alright." 

Lorelai held her securely, her arms wrapped Rory's back and shoulders.  She wanted to whisper words of confirmation; to promise her over and over again that life would treat them nicely.  She wanted to say that she would be there when she graduated; that she would be waiting impatiently outside the maternity ward when she gave birth to her first child.  She wanted to assure Rory that she would be there when she walked down the aisle on her wedding day.  But she couldn't.  Lorelai had been hurt enough in her lifetime, bitten by words uttered in the passion of the moment that implied forces that couldn't possibly be controlled.  She couldn't promise Rory that she was going to be okay; what if she wasn't?

What they do?  What would any of them do if the treatment didn't work?

TBC...