Author's note: I am pleased to announce that this is it. The end. I'll probably write another short chapter to finish tying up loose ends (six pages and I still didn't finish!). In case anybody hasn't noticed yet, my mind is a twisty devious place and I didn't have any of this planned out beforehand. I just write. So if things don't make sense, that's why. Thanks for your patience.
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Luckily, Simon was unconscious for most of his visit to the Alliance ship De Leon. The few moments he was awake, though, were a delicate torture that could only have been created by a malevolent god.
"Sir, can you hear me?" Someone was saying insistently in his ear.
"Yes." Simon answered slowly and as clearly as possible. "And if I continue to hear you, I will do my damnedest to kill you slowly and painfully." He pointedly shut his eyes. The voice went away.
It came back later, again insistent. Simon began snarling all the symptoms of concussion that he could remember- quite a few- at the voice, and promising pain like nothing the voice could imagine. It went away again, and this time didn't come back. Simon fell asleep (or unconscious) and, when he next woke up, recognized the mind-clouding effects of some potent painkillers. He listened closely for any nearby conversations anyway; it couldn't hurt and was something to do.
"I don't know, sir... he seems different somehow."
"Different how?"
"Different like he didn't try to rip my spleen out of my ears for bothering him, sir."
"I imagine that was the concussion." Complacent.
"I would have thought the concussion would make him worse, sir."
"Well, up his meds but don't get him addicted. If you're so worried, keep him out until he's healed enough to go back to that junker we picked him up from."
"Yes, sir." Relieved.
Simon nearly laughed. They were going to keep him out, meaning that he wouldn't be in pain and also wouldn't have to become Harold again. The relief was as strong as the drugs- stronger, even, and he fell asleep/unconscious again.
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The next time Simon woke up, he was in a room as familiar as any. The infirmary of Serenity. River's too-familiar weight was sitting on him, as was usual when he woke up in the infirmary.
"River?" He croaked, and winced. His throat was sore and he sounded approximately like a dying frog. "Would you turn the lights off?"
"They are off, silly." River said, and hugged him tightly. Simon cautiously cracked one eye and quickly shut it again.
"Could you turn all of the lights off?" He clarified. River giggled and padded away (barefoot again; he really had to find some shoes that she'd wear) and welcome darkness fell on the infirmary.
"Thanks, that's better." He sighed and sat up slowly. He felt surprisingly good, considering all that had happened. "Where's everyone else?"
"Hiding." River said slightly petulantly. "They didn't believe her when she said he was safe."
"Safe to be around, or safe as in not going to die?" Simon asked. River scowled- he could see it even in the dark- and shook her head.
"Both." She said darkly. "Didn't believe me about the danger, either. Kaylee didn't want to let go. Mal made her hide too."
"I don't blame him... I bet they didn't even understand what you meant at first. And I'm glad Kaylee wanted to be here when I woke up."
He was slightly unnerved by River's sudden, brilliant smile. "You comprehend!" She exclaimed. "Like me, but different."
"Uh... yes?" Simon asked uncertainly. "I do?" He slid mostly off of the bed and put his feet on the floor. "Comprehend what?"
River only giggled some more and flicked on the dim lights that he used around the medicines. Some lost potency if exposed to light, and he didn't trust opaque bottles that much. Simon blinked at the brightness but wasn't in pain. "Comprehend me now." She finally said, after Simon had forgotten the questions he'd asked. "Comprehend people too. Sort of."
"I... see." Simon said, not feeling that the point was one he should argue. "So go tell them I didn't murder you in my sleep, will you? Let me get used to the wonderful sensations that concussion has brought me."
"Congenital defect, not Jayne." River said, tilting her head and looking through him. "Unlucky... but also lucky. Could have broken under some other stress." She shook her head, blinked, and smiled widely again.
"I believe aneurysms run in our family anyway, so tell Mal it wasn't Jayne's fault. Hopefully he's still alive." Simon said dryly. "I don't suppose hiding from Mal is an easy task, especially on Serenity."
"He's hiding in your room." River informed him sweetly, then ran away laughing as Simon tried to stand so that he could get proper leverage to throw something heavy at her.
"Brat!" He yelled after her and sat back down grinning. It was good to be home.
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"I don't know, doc, I-" Zoe started to protest.
"You're worried that people will think less of you for this, that you're going to be weakened perhaps forever. You're worried that your child will get hurt. You're worried that having a child around will push Mal right over the edge of sanity." Simon started, counting the points on his fingers as he spoke. "You're feeling guilty, because Wash didn't want this and you think he still doesn't. You're feeling guilty for bringing one more mouth to feed onto Serenity, and you feel like you're being selfish for wanting a child. And you're surprised and disturbed by my being able to figure all this out, and wonder why the hell I can't talk to Kaylee." He grinned widely. Zoe, if she had been an inch less career-military, would have been gaping in astonishment.
"That's... mostly right, Doctor." She answered slowly. "Only mostly, though-"
"And you're incredibly, undeniably, deservedly ecstatic." Simon added. He took Zoe's hand and shook it, then hugged her, fast. He stepped away before she had a chance to stiffen up. "I do hope we'll be stopping somewhere with a doctor besides myself. My obstetrics rotation was a long time ago. Right now you're in the best health of anyone I know, though, so I'll just observe and nag you and Wash about moving to a room without a ladder entrance." He still hadn't stopped grinning, and Zoe found herself smiling back. Simon's enthusiasm was infectious. "And I'll see what I can do about the diet on the ship. Tell me if you get any weird cravings, okay?"
"Sure, doc." Zoe was still smiling as she was ushered out of the infirmary. Who knew the doc had it in him? Maybe there was hope for him and Kaylee after all.
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"I'm sorry, son." Mal said, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "And I'm sorry to you too, little one." He added over his shoulder to River, who was pointedly ignoring him.
"No harm done this time, Captain." Simon said, and Mal was highly startled to hear open affection in his voice. "Just listen to River more often, and recognize that when I start raving about werewolves, there's something really wrong with me."
"Uh... yeah. I'll do that." He backed away from Simon, and looked over his shoulder to see River laughing at him. He scowled and straightened up slightly. "And you'd better not try to hit Jayne again, no matter how much he deserves it, or I'll dump your carcass on the first moon we come to, dong ma?"
"God, you sound just like my father." Simon exclaimed. "Before... not the words, but how you said them." He looked surprised at himself and quickly shut his mouth, but not before Mal had bolted for the relative safety of the bridge. "Oops."
"He'll get over it." River said, mock-callously. "I'll go make sure he isn't getting drunk." She skipped away, ignoring Simon's shout of "Shoes!" at her back.
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"Uh, doc?" Jayne poked his head around the door of the infirmary as though expecting Simon to come after him armed to the teeth.
"Yes, Jayne? I'm not looking for revenge, I promise. You're safe to come in." Simon sat on the exam table with his legs crossed and his hands on his knees, obviously trying to put Jayne at ease.
"I'm sorry for hittin' you, even if you deserved it." Jayne mumbled, seeming to find the floor fascinating and not coming any further into the infirmary (or stepping out from behind the shelter of the wall).
"Well, I can't exactly thank you, but what happened to me was only partially your fault. It probably would have happened sooner or later, and it was lucky that it happened now when we were close enough to the Alliance to ask for help and when I can go to them for help and expect to walk away afterwards." Simon said thoughtfully. Jayne looked surprised, as though someone had told him artificial gravity was impossible.
"I was sorta expectin' you to go rantin' and yellin' 'bout how you hated me forever and didn't trust me anymore or somethin'." He finally stood in the doorway of the infirmary. Not inside, but better than hiding behind the wall anyway. "Y'got a bad habit of bein' surprisin'."
"I already said I trusted you." Simon reminded him. "I'm unlikely to stop just because I attacked you and you hit me. That sort of sums up our relationship so far, in fact, except that the attacks and hitting were verbal and not physical. In fact, that might sum up my life since Serenity. The thought is so depressing that I think I need a drink. Want some?" He offered a bottle of good sake in a bucket of ice. Jayne glanced at it suspiciously; Simon rolled his eyes and took a drink first. Jayne grinned and eagerly grabbed the bottle.
"Hell, doc, if I didn't know better I'd say you were apologizin'." Jayne was already a third of the way through the bottle; Simon had taken a few companionable sips but mostly had let Jayne have it. He didn't even bother with a separate cup. After all, he didn't have one and they lived on a ship together. Any sickness Jayne had (that was infectious) had likely already been passed on.
"If I didn't know better I'd say I was too."
Jayne actually stopped drinking to stare blankly at Simon. "My hand to God, you are the weirdest man I ever got the misfortune of meetin'. I damn near killed you, even by accident, and you're the one apologizin'? And you trust me, even after-" He stopped short and shrugged uneasily.
"Well, I did provoke you this time." Simon shrugged. "And we live together... I think I need to drink some more before that statement will sound anything but deeply, deeply wrong."
"I agree." Jayne sounded very unsettled and gulped down sake quicker than was healthy. "I think I'm gonna go get drunk and forget that we ever had this talk."
"Probably a good idea. Don't forget to drink water too, and eat something, or you'll have a hangover that I callously won't give you anything for." Simon smiled and offered his hand to shake; after a minute and one or two misses, Jayne shook it.
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"Kaylee?" Simon asked, wandering into the engine room. "Do you have a moment?"
"Sure, Simon, what's up?" She asked, setting down her tools and removing her welding goggles.
"I came to apologize." Simon said. "I... I'm not great with articulation, as you may have noticed."
"Once or twice, I may have at that." Kaylee teased, grinning. "Apologize for what?"
"First, for passing out on you. Second, for being so generally clueless. Third, for- for meaning what I say when I say it, but not a second longer." Simon dug in his pocket, unable to meet Kaylee's eyes. "So I have a present for you, and hopefully it'll be more eloquent than I am. It was supposed to be for River- but she didn't like it. In fact I had to fish it out of the drain in the kitchen after I gave it to her."
"It was supposed to be for River?" Kaylee asked, sounding offended. Simon shook his head.
"See what I mean about not being eloquent? Anyway, here." He pressed a small box into her hand. "I hope you like it." Simon fled before she could do more than stare at the box now in her hand. The expensive-looking, velveteen box. A jewelery box. She opened it slowly, emotions warring, and beheld the prettiest ring she'd ever seen. There were two small slips of paper tucked into it. She pulled them out and read the larger one silently.
"My dear Simon, it was cruel of Gabriel to turn you out like he did. You know better than anyone how inflexible he could be... I know that one day you'll be grown up and want to get married, but I don't want this ring to be for you. You won't want any remnant of... what was before when you make a new life. But River might like it. It means nothing to me now, and it may bring you and River happiness. I still can't forgive Gabriel what he did, now that I know, but I hope you can forgive me my blindness. Our estates will be held in trust by the banks until you and River can inherit, or your children, or your children's children. I don't hope to live very much longer, you see. I wish that I could see you again- but there will be no tears in Heaven." The note was unsigned and the paper was ragged.
Kaylee brushed her tears aside and opened the other, shorter note. It was written in Simon's almost incomprehensible doctor's scrawl. "Kaylee, please don't take this the wrong way. If you're reading this, I've probably just made you angry as usual and finally worked up the nerve to pass it on. I know how you like pretty things, and I hope that this ring is enjoyable. It was my mother's. This doesn't mean we have to get married. It just means that I want to make you happy, and not to carry around this surprisingly heavy box. If marriage is what you want, that's fine. If it's not, I'll have time to learn how to stop forcing my feet into my mouth at every opportunity and you'll have a nice ring."
Kaylee ran out of the engine room, nearly blinded by her tears. Of happiness, this time.
"Where's Simon?" She asked Jayne, who was sitting in the dining room drinking. He looked alarmed and then murderous.
"What's he done to you?" Jayne slurred, his hand gripping the hilt of his knife. "If he hurt you-"
"Oh, nevermind!" Kaylee ran on, nearly trampling Book and Inara. She didn't see the three of them following her with deep concern as she made for the bridge. River, Mal, Zoe, Wash, and Simon were already there. "Simon!" She threw herself at him; he was startled but caught her.
"What the hell?" Mal started. "Kaylee, what's-"
"Yes!" Kaylee cried eagerly. "I want to get married!" She kissed Simon throughly.
There was dead silence on the bridge.
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"All's well that ends well." Mal muttered, resting his head on folded arms on the table in front of him. "Well, when is this gonna end?"
"After the toasts, I believe." Wash and Zoe were cuddling, smiling nostalgically at the newlyweds. "It might go on a while, especially if someone doesn't take the sake away from Jayne." The pilot added.
"I can't believe it, still." Mal gave a vague twitch that might have been a head shake, if his head had been free to move. "Damn doc. Now if I kick him off I'm out a mechanic."
"You wanted him aboard, sir." Zoe reminded him. "The crew needs a medic and the ship needs a mechanic. Also River would kill you if you tried to throw Simon off."
"Serenity is not a bloody love boat. Why it is nobody never listens to me 'bout shipboard relationships?" Mal whined, aware that he was more than a little drunk but feeling self-indulgent.
"Because the rabid rats that came aboard with that last load of grain can give better relationship advice than you can, sir." The 'of course, you moron, sir' Zoe left unsaid, but she might as well have shouted it.
Mal made a strange, choked sound and hid his head more throughly behind his arms. Zoe, concerned, reached over Wash to prod him. He swiped at her hand and made the sound again. This time Wash noticed and got involved; he tipped Mal's chair over backwards. The Captain of the Firefly Serenity sprawled on the floor on his back, laughing.
"Well, I think this just ended for him." Zoe actually sounded faintly unsettled. Wash grinned and settled down to watch the toasts, pulling Zoe back against his chest.
"I want to listen to Jayne trample propriety some more." He explained. Mal's weak giggles were an odd counterpoint to Jayne's drunken, slurred speech. "I wonder when he'll notice that Kaylee and Simon have already left?"