AN: (Yes, this is going before the chapter because it's important. There's more at the bottom, but I had to say something now, lol.) I want to give a huge shoutout to roswellwbfan for helping me write and edit this chapter. Without her help, I never would have finished this thing. THANK YOU CHICA!! YOU'RE THE BEST FRIEND AND BETA EVER!! Also, this story's got a new title. I've changed it from Let It Snow to On The Verge Of Something Wonderful. Makes a lot more sense now than it did before. :)
Epilogue
As promised, Lindsay returned two weeks later, well rested and happy even with Danny's words echoing in her mind. After having talked for hours on end with her mother about the pros and cons of starting a relationship with him right now, she realized that a little time needed to pass before they tried anything. The memory of Christmas day still haunted them both. There was no need to reopen fresh wounds. She might have (really) liked Danny, but having to put him through any added stress would probably ruin whatever they started.
It was something Lindsay discussed with him to a degree when she got off the plane that sunny January morning. He had been waiting for her at the gate, which made her heart flutter even though she knew what she had to do to him would probably hurt him just as much as it hurt her. Either way, she smiled as they walked up to each other and stood there, looking for the right words to say.
Danny was the first to speak. "So, uh, how was Montana?"
"It was great. I saw my family. We had a lot of fun. There was snow," came her simple, short sentence answers. There was a tension between them as they turned and headed for the baggage claim. Silence enveloped their walk down to the carousels and as they stood beside each other while they waited for the conveyor to bring out Lindsay's luggage.
Finally after nearly twenty minutes of quiet, Danny was unable to take it anymore. He'd been waiting for a chance to say something about what happened at his parents' place, something that would make her see he was in the process of forgetting and that he was moving past it. He wanted to make her see that he was ready to start something with her, that he'd been thinking about her ever since she'd left. "Lindsay, about Christmas…"
She wouldn't let him. "We'll talk about it later," Lindsay replied without so much as a look in his direction. Danny's head dropped. A sideways glance revealed the crushed look in his eyes, a look that echoed in Lindsay's heart. But she kept resolute. There would be a time in the future where they'd be able to talk about this, just not right now. It was too much and too soon. This was the only way she was going to get him to wait while she thought about it a little more.
"Okay," was Danny's barely audible dejected response. Seeing the pain on his face was much easier than hearing it in his voice. Lindsay had to bite her tongue in order to keep herself from spilling all her thoughts at the moment, but that didn't mean she couldn't give him a sign that eventually this would come to pass and that they'd have a chance.
Danny felt soft fingers brush against his hand before wrapping around it and giving it a light squeeze. His head shot up as he looked over at Lindsay. She gazed back at him, her chocolate eyes soft, her lips gently curved in a smile. She might as well have had her hand wrapped around his heart from the way it seemed to leap in his chest as he stared back at her, the warmth slowly starting to overpower the chill that had his body shivering from the inside. A smile started to turn up the corners of his mouth until they were both grinning at each other.
"I need time, Danny," Lindsay said softly. "I like you, I really do, its just that we went through a lot these past few weeks, so maybe its best that we're just friends for a little while before we jump into anything."
Danny sighed. Although it wasn't the answer he wanted, he was willing to do whatever she asked of him just so she'd be in his life. But she did say she liked him and that they could still be friends. It was something to hold on to while he waited for her, a glimmer of hope through the darkness.
The winter snows melted, giving way to the warmth of spring in New York, but Danny could still feel the chill in his heart. Although Lindsay hadn't become completely distant after the Christmas fiasco, she had kept him at an arm's length, friendly but guarded. Her flirting had dropped to the bare minimum. Because of that, he refused to speak to either his cousin or his uncle. He held them responsible for the rift they'd caused between him and Lindsay, and he was in no mood to forgive them until she came around.
Spring blossomed into summer, and although the weight of the situation still seemed to be a burden, it was lessening. Lindsay was warming up to him again, flirting with him little by little the way they used to before Izzy had dropped the Aiden bomb. But unlike before, they'd share a moment and she'd retreat back into herself for several weeks at a time. It made Danny wonder if he'd ever get the chance to convince Lindsay that she was everything, now that she was in his life.
It wasn't until a Friday morning in mid June that his torment would finally end. That day, he'd gotten an unexpected visitor as he returned from a crime scene with Lindsay, who'd just flirted and retreated again, so he was already in no mood to deal with things as they were. Stepping into his office after dropping off the evidence to Adam and the other lab techs, Danny stood at the door in absolute shock. Sitting in his chair was none other than Izzy, her face solemn, her eyes red and puffy. She appeared to have gained some weight as well.
Danny approached cautiously, afraid that if he blew up now, Mac would send him home for a few weeks to cool off. He didn't want that. Work had become his escape. It was something he could get lost in for hours at a time and not have to think about what was going on in his life. But that fragile balance was now in jeopardy.
"Isobel, what are you doing here?" Danny asked, keeping his voice in check and under control although the rest of his body tensed just speaking her name. He folded his arms over his chest and waited for her to speak.
Izzy's head bobbed up. "Danny…" she said, her eyes moistening. She was falling apart just looking at him. It made Danny sigh and give up the defensive posture he was holding. His arms fell to his sides as he leaned against the doorframe. It was hard for him not to feel something for her now even though he was still quite angry with her. "I'm so sorry," Izzy choked out. "I've made so many mistakes with you in the past and I don't wanna make anymore. I've had six months to think about what happened during Christmas, and every time I do, I just sit there and cry my eyes out because I've realized I'm an awful person. Danny, I need you to know, I'm soooo sorry for what I did to you and Lindsay. I'm so sorry I dug into you about Aiden. I should have listened to you. I should have stopped when you told me to stop, but I was so stubborn. I was so stupid. I know I don't even deserve your forgiveness and that you're better off without me in your life, but I just wanted to apologize for what I've done. I've been trying to make amends with everyone that I hurt that day, so if you see Lindsay, could you give her this?"
Rooting through her Coach bag, Izzy finally found what she was looking for. It was a small envelope with Lindsay's name on it. She stood up and handed it to her cousin. "I know she probably never wants to see me again and that if she did, she'd probably kick my ass for being such a bitch to her, so I guess a letter is better than running that risk," Izzy said as she stood face to face with Danny.
They gazed at each other for what seemed like hours. Tears continued to drip down her cheeks as she sniffled while his expression remained unreadable. Izzy pursed her lips and looked down at her shoes before glancing back upwards. The gaze Danny was giving her made her feel even more regret, and she added, "Danny, say something. Anything. I don't care if you yell at me or tell me to go to hell. Just say something!"
"Go home, Isobel," was all Danny could manage. No matter how hard he tried, no matter how much he wanted to, he couldn't forgive her. She had a ways to go before he'd ever even consider it. Yes, she'd finally apologized to him face to face. It was a start, but there was still a long road ahead of her before she could even get close to forgiveness.
"Okay," Izzy softly conceded, her head and shoulders slumping. She sulked out of his office, wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her white hooded sweatshirt. Danny watched her disappear behind a corner. He realized that having Izzy show up at work was a step in the right direction for her. However, he also knew that she had a long way to go, especially if the means of her apology were any indication. As he let what she said replay in his mind he realized that she was sorry because of how she was now feeling. He shook his head--hopefully with time she'd understand that she needed to apologize not because of how miserable she was, but because of how miserable she made others. He could only pray that today was a step on that path, and that she had an objective person to talk to who would help her get there, if she couldn't on her own. He sat down and turned the letter to Lindsay over and over in his hands, becoming lost in thought.
"I know you said to go home and I will but I just have to say this one last thing. I talked to your mom and she said that you and Lindsay weren't dating, as far as she knows. And I know that it's my fault but Danny, you can't do what you always do and retreat into your shell," Izzy's sharp voice startled him back into attention as he swiveled around in his chair to stare at her in shock and disbelief. She paused for a moment, misreading Danny's expression "You know what," she continued, "I should go talk to Lindsay. Make her see that she shouldn't just give up, that you really like her--"
"Get out, Isobel," Danny's calm wasn't calm at all; it was ice. He stood up from his seat to make sure she got the point.
"But Danny--" Izzy began, "I know if I just--"
"GET OUT!" Danny yelled, and Izzy froze. Those within earshot froze as well. Danny couldn't believe what was happening. "We're done here," he said before he stormed off, weaving his way through the crowded lab without looking at anyone. When he made it to Mac's office he closed the door and slumped against it.
Izzy stood in the hall, completely and utterly shocked by what had just happened. She let the last few minutes replay in her mind before slapping her palm against her forehead in frustration and regret. "God, DAMN IT!" she muttered when the realization that she was still the same person she was six months ago hit her. "Damn it. Damn it. DAMN IT! I'm a fucking idiot!" The tears started to flow again. "Why, why do I keep doing this? Why can't I stop?" She let her hand cover her eyes as she walked back towards the elevators. Looking up momentarily and catching Danny's slumped silhouette down the hall, she whispered, "I'm so sorry," just as the elevator doors opened. Izzy stepped inside and leaned against the back panel unable to stop the flow of tears that continued to stream down her cheeks.
Unbeknownst to Danny or Izzy, Lindsay had heard everything. She'd put down the evidence she'd been processing just so she could hear the whole conversation from the time Izzy had come back to the moment she'd stepped onto the elevator. It had been a while since she'd seen Danny blow up at anyone, but the pain was quite clear in the way he just fell into the couch in Mac's office and let his head fall into his hands.
"Danny?" Mac softly prodded. It was clear the young man was upset, but to what extent he wasn't sure. He'd seen Danny come undone only once, the day his brother was nearly beaten to death. This was different. He just seemed frustrated and angry, not broken up.
"I gotta get out of here, Mac," Danny said as he finally lifted his head off his hands. "I need some personal time. I just… I can't handle being here right now."
Mac sat back in his chair and watched the younger man clench and unclench his fists. It was obvious something was going on, and although he had a strict policy of staying out of his employees' personal business, if it interfered with work, it was something he wanted them to tell him about. But it looked like today he'd bend the rules just a little based on the way Danny was acting. It didn't look like this was something he could talk about, so he let it slide.
"Go on," Mac said. Danny let out a relieved sigh. "But next time, I'd like a reason why." Danny nodded before standing up and leaving his boss's office. He headed straight for the elevator trying to avoid any unnecessary contact with his coworkers so he wouldn't have to explain his outburst. The gossip tongues were already wagging as he walked past a group of lab techs that whispered and pointed in is direction. Breathing in deep, he released his tension momentarily before stepping onto the elevator when it arrived.
Lindsay watched him go from behind her glass enclosed lab, her heart nearly leaping out of her chest having to see him go through so much hell. She wanted to follow him, get him to talk to her about what had happened, but she couldn't. Work was her priority at the moment, but once her shift was over, she was heading straight for his apartment.
And that's exactly what Lindsay did that night. She went straight over to Danny's apartment to talk to him about Izzy. She'd been holding it off long enough, and it looked as if he really needed a friend right now. Reaching his door, she knocked twice and waited. Inside she heard rustling, and Danny's muffled voice yell, "I'm coming." He didn't sound too good, and when he opened the door, he didn't look too good either. His hair was mussed from lying on the couch, his usually pressed light blue dress shirt now wrinkled.
"What do you want, Lindsay?" Danny asked. He was in no mood for idle chit chat, not if she was just going to leave him hanging again. He was ready to give up on her if she didn't come around, especially after his spat with Izzy.
"I just wanted to make sure you were okay," she said.
"I'm fine," he retorted, refusing to let her in, not just emotionally, but physically as well.
"You're not fine. You don't take time off to deal with personal problems," Lindsay firmly shot back, crossing her arms over her chest. Two could play at this game. "Come on, Danny, talk to me. We're supposed to be friends."
'Ha! Friends…' his mind screamed in response, but his lips didn't move. Instead, he reached over to the small table beside the door and gabbed the envelope Izzy had given him to give to her. "I just don't wanna talk about it. I'm sorry," Danny finally said as he handed her the note. "Isobel wanted me to give this to you. Just read it when you get home." And with that, he closed the door on her.
Lindsay wanted to get angry, wanted to scream and shout at him, but then she realized that this had been the way she'd been treating him for the last six months. Looking down at the little envelope in her hands, she slowly began to open it. She tore through the envelope and took the sheet of lined notebook paper out, unfolding it gently.
Dear Lindsay,
I know we got off on the wrong foot, and I know that whatever I say to you right now, you'll take with a grain of salt, but I need you to know that I am truly sorry for all the pain I caused you and Danny over Christmas. I'm not asking you for forgiveness, I'm just asking you to understand.
Mistakes happen in a moment and it takes days, weeks, months, and sometimes even years to make up for them. I ask you to believe that this mistake of mine did not happen in a moment of malice or competition, but rather a moment of absent-minded selfishness that I'd like to make up for.
Had I known about Aiden, I never would have said anything, but that doesn't excuse my actions for what followed. You were right when you told me to go back inside and think about what to say. A simple "I'm sorry" really didn't cut it, and now that I've had six months to mull over all this, I've come to the conclusion that my relationship with Danny and with you will never come close to what I would have liked. I'll have to live with that, and live with the fact that I screwed all this up, not you, not Danny, not anyone else, just me.
If it takes from now until eternity, I'd like the chance to make it up to you. Again, I offer you my deepest apologies for the way I acted and hope that one day we'll all get past this bump in the road.
Sincerely,
Isobel Messer
Lindsay shoved the note into her pocket and started to knock on the door again. "Danny, open up! We need to talk!" Her voice was firm and controlled, only loud enough for him to hear. When he didn't answer, she continued pounding on the polished wood surface, yelling, "Danny! Quit being childish and answer the door. We're talking about everything tonight!"
The door swing open as he said, "Jesus, Lindsay, wake the neighbors, why don't you?" She pushed past him and into the cool air of his apartment. It was then that she realized this was the first time she'd ever been inside and took a moment to scan her surroundings. He had a large spacious living room with a pool table to one corner and a TV at another, a large leather couch in front of the TV with a mahogany coffee table set between the two.
After closing the door, Danny turned around, his arms folded across his chest, and waited for her to speak. Lindsay merely stared back at him. She hadn't really thought ahead after her rash decision to barge in here and force him to talk to her. Several long, tense minutes passed between them as they waited to see who'd speak first.
"You wanted to talk, so talk," Danny finally said. He leaned against the door as he stared back at her. There was no malice or anger in his eyes, just frustration and possibly even pain.
Lindsay paused for a moment to gather her thoughts before saying, "I think you should read this," she said, taking the note out of her pocket and handing him the letter from Izzy. He stared at the letter in disbelief before shaking his head.
"That's between you and Izzy," he said even as he found himself dying to read its contents. Lindsay laughed and Danny looked at her in shock.
"You should see your face, Messer. Worst poker face I've ever seen! Remind me to bet against you every chance I get…you totally wanna read this so go ahead," she said, continuing to hold the letter in front of him.
He reached out gingerly taking it from her and reading it quickly. When he was finished he looked up at her and saw her gaze was on him.
"If we're ever going to have anything of a personal nature between us we need to be able to talk to each other about anything and everything," Lindsay said. "And I know that I have been putting off talking about Christmas but this made me see that we need to talk about it."
And Danny had waited so long to have his chance to explain but now that the moment was upon him he was lost as to what he wanted to say. Luckily Lindsay kept talking.
"And what I'm about to say could probably cost me a chance at a relationship with you but I don't want lies between us, so I have to tell you the truth…" She paused and looked at him, seeming to gather her courage. He nodded at her in encouragement. "I don't accept Izzy's apology. I think it's a load of crap brought on by her own guilty feelings and I think she has no idea what she should be apologizing for and I don't know if I'll ever be comfortable around her." Then she went white and her eyes widened but she stayed resolute. If Danny was going to get upset then it was better that she hear it now.
"I couldn't agree with you more," he honestly replied, looking directly at her. Danny pushed himself off the door and stepped closer to her.
Lindsay gasped, having expected any other answer than that one. "Really?" she couldn't help but say.
Danny nodded. "It's been painful for me to accept but these past few months it's become clear that although Izzy may have started on the right path, she's no where near a point where I'm ready to even think about forgiving her."
Lindsay nodded and then the conversation faltered. Finally after just looking at each other and looking away again Lindsay shook her head and laughed. "Okay, well I'm gonna go home now. Thanks for letting me in, and I guess I'll see you at work."
Danny let her get to the door before he said anything. "Yo, Montana," he called. When she turned around he was grinning. "Did I hear you mention something about a relationship between us?"
Lindsay's grin widened as she bit her lip. That simple little gesture made Danny almost saunter up to her, but he stopped just short of pinning her against the door. There was still plenty of room between the two of them, but they could both feel the sexual tension that had been radiating ever since they first met. It was back with a vengeance, and quite hard not to notice.
"Maybe," Lindsay coyly replied. She cocked her head to the side and gazed up at him with those big chocolate eyes. "Are you asking me out, Messer?"
Danny chuckled, that sexy kind of laugh that made her go weak in the knees. His right hand came to rest on the door beside her head as he gazed back at her with those intense sapphire eyes. Lindsay was practically melting. That little talk they'd had really loosened her up and made her see all the possibilities. Here they were, on the verge of something wonderful, their bodies only inches apart, and Danny was taking his sweet time answering her question.
"I dunno, Montana. After all, you've made me wait six whole months for you to finally speak up. I don't know if we're compatible anymore," he finally said with a hint of sarcasm in his rich, gravely voice.
"How about we test that hypothesis?" Lindsay replied, her hand finding its way to his waist and pulling him against her.
"And how do you suppose we do that?" Danny continued to elude her, his lips mere breaths away from her own. He wrapped an arm around her waist bringing her even closer, waiting for her to make the final move. They'd been playing this game of power for the past hour. The ball was in her court now.
With half lidded eyes and her heart racing in her chest, Lindsay wrapped her arms around his neck and whispered, "With a kiss."
Danny grinned. He'd been waiting for what felt like ages for her to say that. His lips finally closed the gap between hers for a feather light peck. He pulled away momentarily as if to ask "Is this okay? Are you liking this?" Upon seeing the fire in Lindsay's eyes, they dove back in for a hot, passionate kiss. She rolled her tongue over his lips and almost demanded entrance to his mouth. Danny happily obliged. Before long, he had her pinned against the door, his hands roaming over her supple curves, caressing her cheek and cradling her head, unable to get enough of her. She, too, found herself in a state of absolute bliss, unable to stay away from those sensuous lips even when her lungs began to burn.
After several minutes, they breathlessly pulled away from each other but remained wrapped in one another's arms using the door to keep them from falling to the floor. "Wow…" Lindsay whispered as her forehead fell against his chest. "So that's what I've been missing out on? Damn… I never should have made you wait."
Again, Danny chuckled as his fingers ran through her long caramel colored locks. "It was worth it," he replied, gently kissing her forehead. "I guess now that we found out we were compatible, its time for me to properly ask you out."
"What do you have in mind, cowboy?"
"Whatever your heart desires."
Fin!
That's right, everyone, story's finished!! And let me just say, I'm beyond relieved!! It took me almost a year to get to this point, and I've very grateful for all the wonderful people I've met thru the courst of this fic. All y'all are some pretty awesome people. Thank you all for becoming an important part of my writing process and my life. I hope to meet as many of you as I possibly can through reviews, so please stop by and leave me one! I'd love to personally thank you for reading my fic. I appreciate it wholeheartedly and I can't wait to hear from you again.
Finishing this story is a blessing and a curse because it's been so much fun to write and get to know all these new people, but now I know I gotta keep up the good work with my next fic and whatever follows. But I think I'll be able to do it. I always set a goal when I write fan fiction, and this story has exceeded all my goals and expectations. I hope the next one will too!
Cara-Jane: I'm so glad you enjoyed the story and I hope you'll enjoy this final chapter of it. Sorry it took so long to post, but my muse had to warm up before she wrote this, and now that she's done, she just wants to bask in the afterglow before continuing with "A Photo Worth A Thousand Memories."
Give Paris some time, folks, and I promise she'll be back on track with something new for y'all.
I want to thank all the lurkers who have been reading but not reviewing. I hope you guys finally speak up because I'd really like to meet you!! ;) Please do! But if you don't wanna, that's okay too. Thank you, tho. You've been pretty important too because when I see the hits go up, I just get all giddy inside.
I'd also like to thank my two bestest of the best friends, Shelbers and prplerayne, who've been by my side thru thick and thin, snow, wind, sleet, hail, rain, and sunshine. Thank you for being my support group when I've needed it. I am always here to return the favor!
Well, I guess this is the last time I'll be signing off on this story. I hope you all have a wonderful day, week, month, year, and life. Happy holidays from yours truly.
Peace, Love, and Danny Messer!!
-DK