S!CK

By Candied

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts one, two, Chain of Memories, or any of the characters in them. All I own is the plot line of this story and the city it takes place in, so no suing. Suing me is not cool, dude. Don't do it.

Author's notes: Ok, so here's chapter one. It's pretty depressing, and I didn't jump right in to the main plot line, because then it would be boring. However, the chapter is still very much vital to the story, and I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. This is a yaoi story, so if you don't like boy-lovin's, don't read it. Also, it is a little morbid, and rated for violence, swearing, and adult content. This story is written from the perspective of Roxas, Axel, and a little of Dmyx. Now that that's done, enjoy the first chapter.

Chapter one: Smiling in the face of death

I walked the streets of this city alone, a backpack slung over my shoulder. The bitter breeze swept coldly over my face, and through my untamed blonde hair. From time to time, my cerulean eyes would wander to those of the people passing me on the streets. Not once were they greeted by the gaze of another. I was... alone. Alone in the streets of this solemn city.

My blue gaze shifted to the grey clouds hovering above me in the sky, threatening to pour rain as far as the eye could see over the rooftops of the skyscrapers. Soon, I would be truely alone, walking in the rain as the other inhabitants of this city were seaking shelter. How fitting.

The rain did fall, wetting my hair and clothes, cold droplets running down my face as I slipped some keys out from my pocket. I placed one hand on the door to my apartment I had finally made it to. When I opened it, there was silence. My mother wasn't home. I wasn't surprised, and made my way into the kitchen. I grabbed a beer from the fridge, the beer actually belonging to my mother's boyfriend, and sat down on the couch in the un-cared for living room. I couldn't have cared less that I was soaked from head to toe, not even bothering to wipe the bitterly cold water from my face.

I took hold of the television remote next to me on the side table, and presed the 'power' button. Instantly, the electronic box came to life, a woman from the news channel's voice blaring out of the speakers.

"- thirteen were killed," she said emotionlessly, and I chuckled solemnly to myself, noting that I must have taken longer getting home today. I never missed the beginning of the news.

"In other news, a boy from P.S. 114 killed himself today, by jumping off the roof of the school. Staff from the school say-"

I clicked the 'power' button on the remote once more, and again the TV was lifeless. I closed my eyes, and put a hand to my chest as I felt the pain overwhelm me. Tears were stinging at my eyes, but I shook my head in protest.

"I won't cry!" I told the salty water that filled my eyes, "I promised him I wouldn't cry!"

And just like that, the memory from earlier that day swept over me as if I had actually been taken back in time

"Roxas..."

I looked up at my friend, Hayner, as I sat on the edge of the roof of P.S. 114, next to him.

"Yeah?" I asked him, my blue eyes questioning his chocolate ones.

The boy ran a hand though his sandy blonde hair, looking away from me, to the sky.

"Do you ever feel... incomplete?"

I nodded my head. "Yeah, but then I remember what great friends I have." I flashed him a wide grin.

"No, I meant something else. A feeling that doesn't go away. A feeling like... you're not good enough." He looked at his hands, as though they held the answers to the greatest questions of life. Then, he continued on, "A feeling like... you don't even deserve the life you've been given."

I raised a blonde eyebrow to his question, my eyes searching for the meaning behind this in his face. "Is this about your dad?"

Hayner sighed, letting his hands fall beside him, now giving me an angered look. "No! This is about me."

My gaze sheepishly looked to the ground. "Ok, sorry."

The other shook his head, "Look, I didn't bring you up here to fight," he grinned at me, to let me know he wasn't mad, but I saw another emotion in his eyes that I couldn't place.

"Why did you bring me up here?" I asked, trying to see through that calm smile. It wasn't unusual for us to be up here, though. We often just hung out here, staring at the scenery until the sun went down.

Hayner stood, and placed one foot on the raised edge of the building, staring off into the horizon.

"To say goodbye," he replied, now turning those coffee-colored eyes to my contrasting blue orbs, "to my best friend."

I stood now, my heart sinking at the thought of my best friend's departure. "You're leaving?! Where are you going?" My sadness must have shown on my face, because he placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

He smiled at me for a moment, before staring back at the sky. "To the after-life."

My face turned to that of shock, his words hitting me like a brick wall. I placed both my hands on his shoulders, "HAYNER-!"

"Roxas..." he cut me off, "I've already decided." He pushed up the sleeves of his hoodie, and I could see some fresh bruises along with the old ones, and some old scars. He rubbed his hands together, as if he was somehow preparing himself, and he moved over to peer off the edge of the building, at the ground five stories below. "I'm not afraid anymore."

I could feel the fear make iteself into a ball in my throat, and choked on it as I tried to speak. "Hayner..."

He turned to me once more, putting our hands together like he did every time we said goobye. We had out usual friendly hug, which I was failing to make much emphasis upon, and I felt my heart stop beating in my chest. At least, it seemed that way.

"Roxas," he began, his voice soft now, soothing, "I wanted to share this moment with you. The happiest moment of my life, with the best friend I could ever ask for."

I tried to speak again, but all that came out was a helpless whimper. I didn't know what to say.

"I don't want you to cry," he continued, obviously sensing my sadness, though he could not see my face. "I'm happy, Roxas. I'll finally be happy."

Again, I tried to speak, but instead, this time it was a cough.

"Promise me, Roxas. Promise me you won't cry."

I knew there was nothing I could do. I couldn't even speak. I nodded my head in silence.

He then broke our friendly embrace, and moved torward the edge, standing on it and turning torwards me. He made a fist, but left his index and pinky finger pointed upward, in the 'devil horns' symbol we used to great eachother.

"Best friends, forever, Roxas. You and me."

I watched as though it was slow motion as his body leaned back to fall, a happy smile on his face as he descended.

I quickly regained my bearings and ran to grab his hand, calling out to him as I did.

"HAYNER!"

I was too slow. I watched his body, it was as if he was falling very slowly, very surrealy to the ground, ever smiling up at me.

And then he hit the ground, his blood spilling out over the cement below. The sound of his bones breaking and head splitting echoed in my mind. It was a discusting sight, I couldn't even tell that body lying on the ground was that of my best friend. The friend I watched die.

"Roxas..." I heard my mother's voice giggle out, as she stumbled drunkenly into the apartment.

I snapped out of the haunting memory, and gazed over to her as if she was the devil.

"Stay away from me." I grabbed my beer, and released my glare from her, downing the beer on the way to my bedroom.

Apparently, it hadn't taken her long to forget about me, because I could hear her and her boyfriend in the living room, making noises that no child wants to hear their parents make.

I beat my fist into the wall, and screamed at my plaster enemy.

"Sixteen years of shit!" I yelled, furious about my sad excuse for a life.

"It can't be that bad." I heard a voice say, and turned to see a brunette, about my age, his hair spiked in a way even more unruly than my own, with ocean eyes much deeper in color than mine.

I wasn't particularly fond of the cheerful grin he wore on that innocent face as he sat on my bed, either.

"Who the hell are you?" I asked him, shooting him a solid glare.

Either he didn't notice, or didn't care though, because he just smiled at me, as if we were long time friends. "The name's Sora. I'm sorry to hear about your friend, Roxas."

"Shut up!" I yelled at him, but he just pouted at me. I shook my head in anger, and again punched the wall. "How do you know me, anyway?"

The boy, Sora, seemed surprised. "I've always known you, Roxas. Ever since we were born."

I raised my eyebrow, and gave him a strange look. "What? We...? What do you mean, 'we'?"

He laughed, and shook his head, standing now. I noticed that he moved his hands around a lot when he spoke.

"Roxas... I'm you."

I shook my head, and tossed the bear can at him, earning me a pout.

"Listen, Sora, I don't know who you are, or what you want from me, but get the fuck out. I'm not in the mood for this."

He smiled, and layed down on my bed.

"I said, GET THE FUCK OUT!"

He chuckled, and grinned at me. "I can't do that, Roxas."

My door opened, and I turned to see my drunken mother peering about my room. "Who are you talking to?" she asked.

I pointed to the tresspasser, "HIM!"

She stared at my bed for a moment, before looking back at me. I had gotten my blue gaze from my mother.

"Honey, seriously. It's not funny," she replied, her speech a bit slurred. She thought I was messing with her?

"No, really, mom, that kid on my bed." She looked at my bed blankly. "RIGHT THERE!" I yelled now.

I could hear Sora sit up, letting out a sigh. "She can't see me, Roxas."

I growled at my mother, before turning to glare at this punk. "And why is that, Sora!?" I yelled, spitting his own name at him like venom.

He grinned. "Because I'm in your mind."

My hand moved up to pull at my blonde locks, my eyes squeezed shut in fury as I let out a yell.

My mother walked into the room, and put a hand on my shoulder softly, seemingly concerned about her only son.

"Maybe you need to see a therepist." It seemed as though I had ruined her drunk.

"What I need is for you to stay the fuck out of my business!" I scoffed back, dropping my hands to my sides and glaring at this woman that called herself my mother.

She let go, and moved out of the room. "I'm going to set up an appointment for you with a therepist. I heard about Hayner..." she paused, looking at me as she started to close the door. "It's a traumatic experience."

I glared at the door as she left, before turning back to this strange boy.

"Explain yourself."

He smiled, straightening himself up, as though it were a pleasure to tell me what was going on. "It's simple, really," he replied, that same cheerful grin on his face, "I'm the other you. The voice in your head. You couldn't deal with the loss of your best friend, and that's why I'm here."

I shook my head. "So what you're telling me... is that I'm crazy?"

He made a strange face, that seemed to say 'A little of column A, a little of column B.' He then looked to me again. "I like to call it, 'Inablility to cope with reality.' It makes it sound nicer."

This was insane. There was no way this was happening. Maybe I did need a therepist...

"Well, that's what most phsychiatrists would say," Sora replied to my thoughts, "But I think you'll like it better this way. Now you won't feel so alone."

He could hear my thoughts. Maybe he really was me.

"I am you." he replied to my thoughts again.

"Stop that!" I demanded. This was too much. I had to get away. I grabbed my coat, and headed into the hallway. When I made it to the living room, he was leaning against the door, smiling.

"Then I'll come with you!" he said enthusiasticly.

My mother and her boyfriend stared at me, as I entered into a fit of rage.

"NO YOU WILL NOT!"

I punched at him, but he moved, and my hand went into the steel door. I clutched it, the pain throbbing in my knuckles.

"You'll pay for that." I said to him through gritted teeth.

He smiled and shook his head. "Go to sleep, you'll feel better about all this in the morning."

Author's notes: I hope you enjoyed chapter one. I'm going to go ahead and get chapter two out of the way now, so you can have more to read! Sorry to all the Hayner fans for killing him off, but that's just the way story goes. If you're wondering about when Axel will show up, don'y worry. I plan on his appearance in chapter two. Again, thanks for reading, and please review! I'll have chapter two up in a few hours, so look forward to that! But seriously, reviews make me want to write even more... so do it.