I want your Zexion! Do you loan him out lmfao!

Ahh Seifer is a little bi**h! I wonna hit him in the face like WACHA

"And then I knew. Demyx was God. Hallelujah!" Omj...I laughed so hard when I read that! *Ahem* This story is legit so far, yo.

~Pyro13

Maaahhh I loved it! I am gonna check out your other stories! Keep up the good work!

DAMN CLIFFHANGER!

Well, I enjoyed that quite a bit. A nice distraction, thank-you for successfully helping me procrastinate ;D

.love.

Infero

aw i'm glad it had a happy ending ]

aw... Hayner... man this is sad... -goes to next chap-

...holy fuck! I just realized that I have made a grave mistake! I misread your blog thingie, and I said in another review something that may be taken in terribly bad way! and I appologise so hard *Bows in apology fifty billion times* shit. I'm so sorry!

*Offers praise in hopes of forgiveness:

I still love your story! its fuckin' awesome!

..ahem. sorry for the swearing...But truely, I'm really sorry 'bout the mistake...

Rh R S

OH MY GOD! SO KAWAI~~! my god. that was so CUTE! *Squeels happily* YAY! they're back tagether! you were making me really sad making them break up... T~T so sad...

Rh R S

Hi thar.

I love your story! tis so cool! I've never really ventured into the Kingdom of Hearts fandom, but I have seen pictures and stuff of the characters, and read cartoons and stuff, and I have to ask. Is demyx supposed to be the idiot of the Nobody group? not that your demyx is an idiot, he's awesome and cute!

But with the lemon... please add the lube and stretching, cos otherwise it's seriously painful for the characters! and guys don't self-lubricate like girls...lol, but...u probably know that...-_-' I make myself awkward...lol. sorry!:) I'm just particular about this stuff, and it makes the story seem so much more realistic when you add the little details.

Thanks for the awesomeness!

Rh R S

Wah, this is the second time... Um, third... lol that I've read this fic. I keep suggesting it to my friends because I find it so absolutely amazing. I think it's my favorite on . You rock! This story flowed so nicely! Plus I like how you didn't drag out the angst. It was nice for a change. Angst me no likey.

Awesome fic! I shall read the sequel another time!

TTFN

CReep!

This story is so good! I cried when Axel was breaking up with Roxas and was like: "TTTT *sob/rubs eyes, getting water on them and continues reading* "So sad TT TT " *continues reading and tries to move the page down* WHAT THE HELL? 0_0 Nu! Stupid Water! I must keep reading! 0_0 *Finally finishes cleaning hand and trackpad* " . . . . .Well, fuck. . .That ruined the mood. xD" But yes, very awesome story indeed. ; )

THAT was an AMAZING story. I am absolutely shocked that this story did not receive as many reviews as I would've supposed...

I believe there can be a few explanations for that.

First of all, there was a lot of ‘i’s. Too many of them can get very boring and seem very repeated. I know that it can be very difficult to spice up first-person, but once you got the technique down, the stories are more interesting and easier to follow a long with.

For example: putting a word or two in front of ‘i’ before actually using it in the beginning of a paragraph. In within the paragraph, use ‘i’ all you want, but at the beginning, you don’t want the paragraphs to look so plain together. You could put “Such as I” or “Although I’ or “They hadn’t known that I”. And I’m glad to say that towards the beginning and the ending, you actually started improving in your first-person. That is fantastic.

Your paragraphs give enough information for the story, but an added sentence or two in an area or so wouldn’t be so bad.

I enjoyed the plot, how you started it out as it was, and had a flashback to the horrible event. And I also like how you use phrases from previous characters and use them in the story as conflict in within one’s head.

To be honest, I checked reviews and other stories in your gallery before I read SICK and I’m glad to say that I already knew Hayner’s relationship with Axel. If I had been reading the story and found out about their past-relationship in chapter 16, I would’ve frowned and clicked the BACK BUTTON. Just keeping it a surprise like that, and that serious of a surprise secret, upsets me, nothing more. I thought I should let you know for future reference.

The sex was plain and very simple. For such detailed kissing scenes, I felt as though the sex was written in a haste, in a way like,” Let’s just get this over with”-kind of way. It’s very trite and it seemed as though it was separated from the rest of the story. For instance, like it was copied and pasted and not in a stolen way, but just in a different style way.

I believe romance should be gently taken cared of and written in a slow, enjoyable way for the readers. Grasp the readers into your writing and make them never look away from the scene until the pair reached climax, you know? I felt like I could read a sentence and easily take a break to eat lunch or walk my dog.

(And I’m sure everyone’s been annoying you about the ‘sex’, but I want to get my point across)

Plus, I thought that the sex scenes should be switched. The first sex scene in chapter 9 and the second sex scene in chapter 16 should definitely have a switch-a-roo and be more in depth of detail. The sex was dry, definitely for Roxas’ (I’m assuming) first time and for Axel to be such an experienced and delicate lover. If he didn’t want it to ‘hurt’ there’s a lubrication called ‘lube’ or ‘lotion’ or perhaps even ‘spit’, but it’s just a thought (and I’m not trying to be a smartass).

Now, besides criticizing your story so vividly, let me say that I was falling out of my chair, cracking up in laughter from all the humor in the story. Like everybody else, I positively LOVED the ‘Axel-waking-up’-scenes. I was always prepared, just hanging off of my chair.

And I’m not sure if it’s just me, but I was simply fascinated when Roxas had stolen Axel’s meds and Axel was having a bitch-fit like there was no tomorrow. To tell the truth, I was acting out the parts to myself until I fell out my chair (again), that part was perfect. Thank you for that.)

Keep it up!

~StriSpleS

I have to say this is one of the best AkuRoku stories I've read, and I also loved the Soriku you added in, and Demyx's little story as well. All in all it was a well written, emotionally introspective fic, and you should be proud of it :3

I KNEW IT! Half way through the chapter i stopped and said to myself "I have a bad feeling that it going to be Roxas' mom. A very very bad feeling" I am never wrong on these things ya know.