A/N: This chapter's a little long – they just wouldn't stop talking! Thank you to everyone who has reviewed (every review makes my day that much better), and special thanks to Makita for being my beta.
Just a note – I started this story after episode 7.02, so I decided not to go back and make Lane have twins. Hopefully we'll get to see that particular anvil played out on the show.
Chapter 12: The Goodbye Girl
"Where's Lane?" Mrs. Kim demanded as she rushed down the hallway. "Is she okay?"
Lorelai knew that Rory and Zack had tried to call her first, but when they could not reach her they had called Lorelai for a ride to the hospital instead. "Lane's fine," she assured the frantic mother, then pointed to the delivery room. "She's with the doctor and Zack-"
However, Mrs. Kim did not even slow down to hear the rest before barreling past her into the room.
Despite her fears and qualms about childbirth in general, Rory had faithfully stayed by her friend's side, providing support for not only Lane but also for Zack. With so many people crammed into that tiny delivery room, Lorelai chose to wait outside in the hallway for any word. She knew that the due date was at least three weeks away, making the baby's birth a little early, but not frighteningly so.
No sooner had Lorelai decided to go for coffee and begun heading down to find the cafeteria when another voice called after her.
"Lorelai!"
Turning, she saw Luke striding towards her looking almost as frantic as Mrs. Kim. Not only did he have dark circles under his eyes, but he also seemed to be wearing the same blue flannel shirt she had seen him in the day before. She was too preoccupied with the crazed look in eyes to notice that he wore his familiar blue baseball cap rather than the black one April had given him.
"Lane's doing fine," she told him immediately, figuring that her phone call to the diner had induced him to drive all the way to the hospital. "The baby's a little early, but I think she should be okay-"
Once again, Lorelai's statement about the girl's condition was cut off. However, unlike Mrs. Kim, Luke ignored the delivery room completely and continued walking towards her. He did not stop until he was inches away, and even then she barely had time to register his hands cupping the sides of her face before his lips were on hers, warm and insistent.
Lorelai instantly flashed back to their first break-up and the passionate reunion a month later when he showed up at her front porch. When she opened the door, he had simply stepped forward and swept her into his arms, letting his mouth tell her without words how much she meant to him. Their estrangement had been so unnecessary and ridiculous that all thoughts of it had immediately fled from her mind like doves startled into flight.
This time, the kiss was more gentle and hesitant. Luke simply let his lips caress hers without demand, as though reveling in the light touch. He held her face so softly that she could feel his hands trembling against her skin. And yet, despite the cold weather outside, Lorelai knew from the heat radiating from his body that Luke did not shake from the temperature. After a moment she considered far too brief, she felt him pull away from her and let his arms drop to his sides.
Lorelai opened her eyes and saw him studying her for a reaction. Not taking the time to analyze the situation, she said the first thing that came to mind. "You drank coffee today," she declared in disbelief.
Luke glanced at the floor nervously for a second before acknowledging, "Yeah, well… I needed the caffeine and I was out of tea."
A hundred questions were running through her head at that moment, all jumbled and bumping into each other, confusing her as much as Luke's actions. In the end, she settled on something basic. "Why?" she asked.
"The coffee reminded me of you. And I needed the caffeine because I haven't slept since yesterday. I just spent the last day watching every girl movie I could get a hold of," he informed her, building up speed as he spoke. "And I'm not a movie guy. You know this. You've known this ever since we first met. I'm not a movie guy, but I watched every one of April's and then I called Kirk to bring me some more."
"Luke…" she began softly, not sure how to respond to this sudden outburst. Of all the things Luke could have come to her to talk about, his daughter's DVD collection seemed an unlikely choice. But he kept going.
"I'm not a movie guy, but I started watching them because they reminded me of you, and of how you would think, and of how you make me feel whenever we're together," he said, pausing only for a second as he reached out to put his palms against her shoulders, lightly holding her in place in front of him. "Lorelai, I'm sorry for what I've put you through. I'm sorry for all of it, and I wanted to tell you... I love you. I love you more than I can ever put into words. That's something you should hear every day of your life, and it's not something you should ever have to question."
Lorelai opened her mouth to speak, but Luke quickly brought up one finger and touched it against her open lips in a gesture of silence. "I know I probably sound crazy right now 'cause I haven't gotten any sleep. And I drank two cups of that disgusting stuff you love so much – which will probably take a few weeks off my life - but… I wanted you to know that if you will give me another chance, I'll be the movie guy. I'll be whatever guy you want me to be because I can't stand not having you in my life anymore. I mean really in my life.
"I miss having you there when I wake up in the morning. I miss making you dinner while you tell me about whatever Michel did to annoy you that day, and then watch you eat ice cream out of the tub even when I get you a bowl. I miss Paul Anka and all his little quirks and the stupid tricks you teach him. Remember when I told you before that my life isn't real unless you're there? That's still true. Every day, I think of a dozen things I want to tell you or show you or hear you say. And I just can't stand not being with you any more.
He continued in earnest, "I know things got screwed up, and I know a lot of that was my fault. We both made mistakes, and I see that now. I've been keeping you at arm's length, acting like you have to prove something, but you don't."
Luke looked down, suddenly conscious of the fact that he was indeed holding her shoulders at exactly that distance. He reluctantly let his hands slide down her arms to grip her elbows, careful of the arm he knew must still be sore. Taking a small step forward, he was about to speak again when Lorelai interrupted, her voice cracking with emotion.
"You said before-"
"I don't care what I said before," he argued.
"But, Luke-" Lorelai began again, taking a faltering breath, "What I did… I hurt you. I didn't mean to, but I hurt you – a lot. I know I did, and I know why you've been having trouble getting over that and trusting me again-"
"I trust you," he contradicted fiercely. "I don't trust myself any more, but I do trust you. I think that's what has been holding me back for so long. I don't ever want to see you the way you were that night you wanted to elope. You shouldn't have to beg for what you need from me. I should know. I mean, I used to know – I used to know how you were feeling even before you did."
"You still know me," she said tenderly. "You know me better than anyone." While she said it without thinking it through, she realized a second later that the statement was true. He did know her better than anyone – better even than Christopher had. And possibly, although it was difficult for her to admit, better than Rory did anymore as well.
Most of the time, Luke could sense her true emotions, the moods that she hid beneath that top level of wise-cracks and mindless banter. Everything had gone wrong when that intuition faltered, when the situation with April had distracted him to the point that he no longer was able to see her as clearly. She did not tell him about her unhappiness and he did not ask. They had both relied on the unspoken understandings that had been the foundation of their friendship, and that reliance had failed them. But despite the months of hurt feelings and sleepless nights, despite the break-up and the slow, dizzying way they had been circling each other ever since, they were still the same people.
Luke was still the careful, slightly insecure man who had been jealous of her ex-boyfriend's presence at the Dragonfly opening. Lorelai was still the woman who pushed too hard when she was afraid of losing him, like she had in Doose's and in the street outside the diner. But in spite of that, they were still the same two people who had stood under that chuppah so many years ago, each wondering what it would be like to explore the forbidden. They were the same friends who had fallen in love, sidestepping the many obstacles in their way: weeks spent apart, nosy townspeople, interfering relatives, and their own fears and misgivings.
"I don't want you getting hurt again," Luke said after a moment, looking down at her arm as he did so. While her sleeve covered the burned area, he knew it was there, as conscious of the tender flesh as Lorelai herself. She knew that he meant more than just the burn. He had already told her his regrets about how he had acted after finding out about April. But for the first time, she started to understand exactly how far his distress over the situation extended, the doubts about his own ability to give her the things he thought she needed.
"That's funny," she said, although her tone was far from being amused. "I was thinking the same thing about you."
"We hurt each other," he sighed, acknowledging what she had done but wanting to absolve her of blame. Torturing her with guilt did no good. It only filled them both with shame they could do nothing about. After so many months of trying to figure things out, Luke had finally come to the realization that forgiving her was not a foolish risk, but rather a new beginning. Besides, the act had occurred in a specific context, a situation he himself had allowed to get out of control.
"But it doesn't have to be that way any more," he told her. "I can do better. I can try harder. I don't know if I can give you everything you need, but I will do every damn thing in my power to make sure you get it. I will be the movie guy, if that's what you want. I will be whatever you want, whatever you need me to be. Just tell me and I'll do it," he pleaded.
Luke had not meant to sound so desperate. Part of him felt dishonest appealing to Lorelai when he was still unsure about his ability to make her happy. But a deeper, more primal side could not help but reach out for her. He felt as though in the months since their break-up he had been slowly starving to death in her absence, and she had suddenly reawakened his appetite. As selfish as it seemed to him, he needed her, regardless of what he could offer her in return. He would certainly give her everything he had, without question. But he could not bring himself to push her away again, even if he justified it as being for her own good.
Lorelai took a shuddering breath, too stunned by his words to respond immediately. Instead, she reached up to wrap her arms around his neck with excruciating slowness. Luke stood completely still, allowing her to mold her body against his and rest her head on his shoulder as he let his own hands drop down to encircle her waist. She could feel his thundering heartbeat even through the layers of his clothing, finding comfort in the rhythm.
After several moments of gently holding him, Lorelai felt something inside of her snap – like a house of cards collapsing in on itself. Letting out a quiet sob, she tightened her grip, pulling her against him as forcefully as she could. "I need you," she whispered finally. "And I don't want you to be anyone but who you are."
Luke clung to her in return, letting waves of relief and joy wash over him. Ever since New Year's Eve when she told him she would wait, he had known that she would take him back. So her acceptance came as no surprise. However, the ferocity of her embrace and the certainty in her voice reassured him that he was doing the right thing. With the deep love that they shared came the capacity for pain, both giving it and receiving it. And while Luke wanted to experience neither, he knew that it was a risk that must be borne if they were to try again. But he did want to try.
They sat together in the hospital waiting room for hours, each reminded of being in that exact position a month before as they waited for Liz to give birth. But this time, they talked mostly about their relationship, their concerns and hopes for the future. For once, no topic was off limits as they discussed everything from Luke's feelings of inadequacy with his sudden fatherhood to Lorelai's impulsive rebound fling.
Sitting beside each other in the barely padded waiting room chairs, Luke held one of her hands in his, resting it on his knee as he traced patterns against her fingers. He had not been able to let her go since arriving, the need to feel her pressing on him with undeniable urgency. Lorelai allowed herself to bask in the attention, having been denied his unique brand of intense affection for so long. Of all the men she had ever been with, Luke always made her feel special just for being herself. She could be as silly or serious as she wanted, and he would keep up with her. No pretenses were needed, no displays of false cheerfulness to cover her real feelings. With Luke, she could simply… be.
And yet, having him there with her, touching her in such unrestrained warmth and adoration, she could not forget the circumstances that had led to their separation. In particular, the words he had spoken over Thanksgiving repeated in her mind, an unwelcome reminder of the pain she had caused him. He had been so angry, so hurt and accusatory despite the months since their break-up. She still wondered how he could simply let go of those feelings, as he said he had. Even with him there, looking at her with those deep blue eyes of his, she wondered if it really was possible for them to put the past behind them and move forward. It just sounded too good to be true.
"Luke," she said quietly, looking down at his hand covering hers. "I know it doesn't change anything. But I just wanted to tell you…" She paused, taking a deep breath, forcing herself to look up and meet his eyes. "I need you to know how sorry I am."
He nodded carefully, accepting the statement without question. "I know," he assured her.
"No, I don't think you do."
"Lorelai-" he began, but she cut him off.
"No, I want to say this."
"You've already said it – several times," Luke stressed. "You don't have to keep apologizing."
"Yes I do," she said forcefully, pulling her hand away from him. But as he realized what she was doing, he quickly reached out and reclaimed it, then took the other so that his fingers could trap both of her palms in a firm yet soothing grip.
"No, you don't," he stated, filling each word with meaning as he looked into her eyes with such intensity that she had trouble breathing.
She could feel the emotion building up in the back of her mind, and her throat began to constrict as she spoke. "Luke, I believe everything you've been saying. And I know you mean it. But I just don't know how you can forgive me for this – not that I blame you. I can't forgive me for it either, but-"
"Lorelai…"
"I know it's always going to be there. You're always going to wonder about me now and doubt whether I'm really committed to you. I understand that, I do. I just want to make sure we're open about it."
"I am being open," Luke said, somewhat confused and slightly irritated.
She could feel moisture beginning to squeeze its way out of the corner of her eye. Afraid she would not be able to say everything she needed to before the tears overcame her, she began speaking faster. "No, I know. I mean… I don't want you to pretend like you've forgiven me if you haven't. It's okay if you haven't. I know it's going to take a long time to regain your trust. That's okay, I accept that-"
"Lorelai, I have forgiven you," he told her. "I forgive you, and I trust you, and I love you so much it hurts…"
As though to punctuate the sentiments, he leaned forward and kissed her gently. At first, he simply let his lips slide over hers, appreciating the way her bottom lip quivered in response to him. But then her mouth parted slightly in invitation, and, needing no further prompting, he deepened the kiss, bringing one hand up to grasp the back of her neck.
While they had kissed a few times since breaking up, this time Luke let passion completely overtake him as he plundered her mouth, completely disregarding the fact that they were sitting in a hospital waiting room surrounded by nosy onlookers. All he could concentrate on was how good she felt against him, as pliant and willing as she had ever been. But when he moved his hand to stroke her cheek, the warm wetness there brought him up short and he pulled away.
The tears in her eyes made them look an even brighter shade of blue, if such a thing was possible. But when she smiled, she looked absolutely radiant. Grinning back at her, Luke used his thumb to wipe away the dampness, his palm absorbing the salt water trails that had made lines on her cheeks. And when he was done, he brushed a few stray hairs back, tucking them behind one ear as he leaned forward to press a shy kiss to her temple.
"Hey Mom, I'm not sure how long this is going to take-" Rory's voice cut off abruptly as she took in the scene in front of her. The couple turned in unison, somewhat shocked at the sudden interruption until they both remembered exactly where they were. Lorelai was the first to recover, letting go of Luke's hand as she stood up to walk over to her daughter.
"How's Lane doing?" she asked.
"She's good. The doctor said she's progressing slowly, but everything's on schedule." Rory glanced over her mother's shoulder and added in a friendly tone, "Hey, Luke. I didn't know you were here."
He stood up as well and approached slowly as he said, "Yeah, I thought I'd stop in for a bit, see how things were going…"
"I'm sure Lane will appreciate your concern," she said, feeling certain she understood his true motivations for coming to the hospital.
"Yeah, tell her I said 'hi' or 'keep it up' or… whatever you say to women who are in labor," he concluded in embarrassment.
Rory could not resist having a little fun at his expense. "Do you want to come in and tell her yourself? I'm sure she wouldn't mind. Zack and Mrs. Kim are already in there…"
The expression of terror that crossed Luke's face was reward enough, and even Lorelai struggled not to giggle in response as she noted how wide his eyes grew at the suggestion. "No, no, that's okay," he said quickly. "I think I'll just wait out here with your mom."
"Okay, if you're sure…"
"Very sure," he guaranteed.
"Let us know if Lane needs anything," Lorelai said. "And tell her to squeeze someone's hand if it hurts. Somehow sharing the pain makes it a little more bearable."
"Will do," Rory promised before returning to her friend's room.
Lorelai glanced over at Luke, unable to keep herself from smiling at the blissful feelings that had enveloped her. She could not remember the last time she had felt so happy – a year or more, at least. Suddenly, it seemed as though everything were right with the world again. She was standing in a hospital corridor with the man she loved, waiting for a baby to be born. What could be more hopeful?
"I thought Rory got freaked out about people giving birth," Luke said, turning so that they could sit back down. As they took the few steps towards the uncomfortable hospital chairs, he automatically touched the small of her back, unable to resist the contact.
"Um… yeah, she does," Lorelai answered, momentarily distracted. Having been apart from him for so long, it felt odd to experience so many public displays of affection from her former fiancé. Certainly, he had never been above touching her, but Luke had always tended to act more reserved when others could see him. She never knew whether that was just his private nature or something he did on purpose to avoid unwanted attention from onlookers. "But this is Lane, and I think she made some kind of promise to be there with her. I'm sure Mrs. Kim and Zack are doing their best, but I know I wouldn't want either of them around if I was in labor."
Luke nodded in amusement, but then she saw his expression go blank in the way it did when he became deep in thought. It did not take much to divine what he was thinking about.
"It must have been tough going through that by yourself," he remarked, surprising her. She thought he would have been lamenting having missed April's birth, or even thinking about some yet-to-be-conceived, future children.
"It wasn't so bad," she lied. "Certainly not among my best moments, but I got through it. And maybe next time, things will be different." Realizing what she had said, Lorelai instantly began to back-track. "I mean, if there is a next time… I'm not saying there will be one necessarily or that there needs to be one. Only, if there is, maybe it'll be different. Or not."
The edges of Luke's mouth rose in the beginnings of a smile, the kind she had only seen him give to her when she was babbling her way into or out of some verbal mess. "I know what you mean," he told her. "And I have to ask – do you want there to be a next time?"
The question slipped from him so quickly that she did not have time to gage whatever feelings of his were fueling it, either hope or dread. She sighed, knowing her answer but indecisive about sharing it.
"I guess it depends," she said finally.
"On what?"
"On who'll be in that room holding my hand. And… whether it would be by choice or just obligation."
Luke took a few seconds to consider his reply, using the time to carefully study the floor at his feet. But as he looked up, there was no hesitance in his voice. "Kids or no kids, I want to be with you. And if you did want there to be a 'next time,' you couldn't stop me from being in that room and holding your hand."
She ducked her head at the intensity of his words, feeling a little overwhelmed by how open and honest he was being. Even after they had gotten engaged, they rarely talked about their feelings. She could count on one hand the number of times they had exchanged genuine 'I love you's, and that included the two times she had told him right before giving him the elopement ultimatum.
"That's good to know," Lorelai said.
They spent much of the rest of the afternoon waiting for Lane to deliver, getting intermittent updates from Rory. Occasionally when a contraction was especially intense, they heard the young woman cry out through the wall, causing Luke to cringe uncomfortably and Lorelai to pat his hand in reassurance. While they would have rather left and found a more comfortable place to spend some time together, they also felt it would be in poor taste to leave for such an obvious reason.
When they were not talking, they simply sat together, Lorelai resting her head against his shoulder as he flipped through some old magazine or another. At first, she thought it would be strange, slipping back into their old relationship roles; but it was not strange in the slightest. Instead, she felt free and giddy, like she had just avoided something horrible and landed in something wonderful at the same time. It felt just like falling in love with him the first time, except with a newer, more intense level of anxious anticipation and breathless excitement. But it also felt warm and familiar, like an old movie watched so many times that you could say the lines right along with the actors.
That thought reminded her of something Luke had said earlier. "So you stayed up all night watching chick flicks, huh?" she asked, breaking the easy silence that had settled between them. She could almost see his skin blush a brighter shade of pink.
"Um… yeah," he said.
"What did you watch?" she asked, forgoing the more obvious questions of, "Why?" and "Did hell freeze over when I wasn't looking?"
"You know all those DVDs April left at my apartment? I watched those."
"All of them?" Lorelai demanded, incredulous.
"Yep."
"Luke, she had a dozen hard-core, classic romances there." She remembered the collection quite well from the night they had watched Planet of the Apes at his apartment. It was almost uncanny how his daughter liked so many of her own favorite movies.
"Trust me, I know."
Lorelai grinned at him with impish delight, knowing that below that rough exterior, he enjoyed the teasing. "Which one did you like best?" she persisted.
"I don't know. They were all good."
"Luke…" she whined.
He paused for a moment, giving it a little more thought as his tired memory searched for an image that stood out in particular.
"I liked the one with all the people who knew each other somehow, but you didn't find out how they were connected until the end." Seeing Lorelai's forehead crinkle in thought as she tried to place the movie from his description, he added, "The one with that funny news guy you like, somebody-Stewart. The one that isn't Captain Picard."
"Jon Stewart."
"Yeah, him."
She thought for a moment more before deducing, "Oh, Playing by Heart. I love that movie, even though Gillian Anderson was kind of annoying."
"Which one was she?" he asked.
"The woman Jon Stewart dated."
"Ah. She looked familiar for some reason…"
"Agent Scully on the X Files."
"The what files?"
He looked confused by the reference, but genuinely inquisitive about its source. It suddenly occurred to Lorelai that he had promised to make himself over into a 'movie guy,' if that was what she wanted him to be. But as she considered it, she realized that she did not need him to be a movie person. Luke did not have to be interested in all the things she was interested in or understand all the references she made. She was not attracted to him because of his ability to quote Audrey Hepburn or appreciate the subtle distinctions between The Breakfast Club and Sixteen Candles.
No, she loved Luke for a million other reasons. The way he cared about her health but let her eat unhealthy food anyway. His tireless dedication to family and friends, even when they drove him crazy. Refusing to participate in 'town events,' but doing so because she asked him. All the years he stopped by to fix something at her house, even when she had not requested the help. The fact that he kept his father's store just the same, except for turning it into a diner. The slightly defeated tone his voice reached as he was ending a rant. The love she saw in his eyes whenever he mentioned his daughter. The easy, open way he had always cared about Rory.
"It doesn't matter," she said. "And you don't have to watch those movies just to please me. I'm okay with you not being a 'movie guy.'"
"Yeah?" he asked, sounding slightly relieved.
"Unless you like watching them…"
Luke shrugged in response. "They're not so bad. Just not all in a row."
"That's right, I forgot. You haven't slept in two days," she said, quickly sitting up. "Do you want me to take you home so you can get some rest?"
"No, I'm fine," he answered, although she could see the fatigue in his face. For a man who went to bed at nine o'clock, Luke was very used to getting his full eight hours a night.
Luckily, Rory chose that moment to come out of the delivery room. Previous updates had put Lane at fully dilated and ready to push. So the wide smile on Rory's face betrayed her even before she said, "It's a boy!"
The next hour involved a lot of cooing over the baby and a quick visit with the new mother, who looked exhausted but happy - and not nearly as terrified as everyone anticipated she would be. In fact, every time Lane held her new son, she seemed more and more at peace with the whole idea of motherhood.
It was nearly three in the morning by the time Luke, Lorelai, and Rory arrived back in Star's Hollow. Too tired to risk driving himself home, Luke left his truck at the hospital and promptly fell asleep on the ride home, his head pressed against the passenger side window. Rory took the opportunity to conduct a whispered inquiry of her mother about what was going on between the two of them. All Lorelai could tell her was that they were back together, and that no matter what, she was not going to screw it up this time.
"Do you want me to help you take him up to the diner or would you rather drop me off at the house first before taking him home?" Rory asked with a knowing grin.
"Why don't I stop at the diner and then see if Luke needs help up to his apartment," Lorelai suggested, not wanting to be presumptuous about giving him un-asked-for assistance.
"He's out cold, Mom. He's going to need help," she insisted.
"No he's not," Luke contradicted tiredly, his eyes still closed. "And he doesn't like being talked about like he's not in the room."
"We're in a car, hon," Lorelai corrected, letting the endearment slip off her tongue without thinking about it.
"Same thing," he mumbled.
But when they arrived at the diner, he did take Lorelai up on her offer to walk him up to his apartment. Rory flashed her a mischievious grin before getting into the driver's seat and saying that she'd see her at home later, making sure to emphasize that how much later was up to Lorelai.
"She's as bad as Miss Patty," Luke muttered as they made their way through the darkened diner, one arm slung haphazardly over her shoulder for balance. Lorelai felt certain that if he were left to his own devices, he would slide into a chair and sleep the entire night with his head slumped over one of the tables.
"If she were as bad as Miss Patty, she'd have driven us to Atlantic City and taken us to one of those drive-through all-night chapels," Lorelai joked.
"…today's March third… guess Patty won the bet…" she heard Luke say, half-under his breath. "…not a bad idea anyway…"
"What's not a bad idea?" she asked, curious.
"But not Atlantic City," he continued, not even registering her question in his fatigued state. "I like Maryland. We could go to Maryland and get married."
By this time, they had reached the top of the stairs. Lorelai would have been more distracted by Luke's fatigue-induced, uninhibited ramblings if her attention was not drawn to the note taped on the door. As it was, she chalked up his inadvertent proposal to lack of sleep.
Luke, You owe me big for helping Caesar close up. Hope Lane's doing okay & if you didn't talk to Lorelai, I am so going to kick your ass. –Jess
She smiled as she took down the note and let them into the apartment, quickly guiding Luke to the bed. It did not take much prompting to get him out of his shoes, although he argued with her about changing from his jeans into one of his usual pairs of sweatpants. But the clothing switch served to help wake him up a little, at least enough for him to wrap his arms around her and pull her onto the bed next to him. He was simply too exhausted to do more than that.
"Luke," she whispered, unable to stop smiling. "Do you want me to stay the night?"
"Mmm…" he answered in what she interpreted to be an affirmative as he tightened his grip on her waist. "…go to Maryland tomorrow…"
As she fell asleep wrapped in his embrace, Lorelai let herself relax in a way that she had not been able to in a very long time. Gone was the mask of indifference and forced cheerfulness that she had made herself wear for the sake of everyone around her. Her fears and self doubts had been stripped away like an old layer of paint, leaving her feeling fresh and unencumbered by the past. She had Luke's arms around her again, and all was right with the world.
After sleeping through the rest of the morning and straight through to late afternoon, Luke woke up to find Lorelai curled up on his couch wearing one of his flannel shirts and watching a movie as she munched on a snack from his refrigerator. Climbing out of his bed, he padded across the apartment floor and took the place next to her, putting one casual arm around her shoulders.
"What'cha watching?" he asked sleepily.
"Sleepless in Seattle," she answered, smiling as he tried to restrain a yawn. "You rented it, so you can't complain about it being a 'chick flick.' Besides, it's a classic."
"What's it about?"
"This woman who hears a man's voice on the radio and just knows that they belong together. They never really meet until the very end, but you can tell they were just meant to be."
"Sounds sappy," he grumbled, but settled in to watch the rest of the movie with her anyway. Though mutual unspoken agreement, they curled against each other on the couch, both wanting to simply enjoy the intimacy of touch. However, as the movie played out in front of them, both felt the re-emergence of thoughts and feelings long buried during the course of their separation. By the time the credits rolled, neither of them felt particularly tired any more.
Luke reached across her for the remote to turn off the television set, reveling in the quiet sigh that escaped her lips as he shifted against her. However, she groaned in disappointment when he sat up completely, then got up from the couch. "I'll be right back," he said softly into her ear before heading downstairs. He returned again a few minutes later, obviously having checked on things down in the diner.
"How's Jess?" Lorelai asked, her eyes still closed as she lay in the same position he had left her in.
"He's fine. Everything's fine."
He stood for several moments at the edge of the couch, just watching her breath. It had been so long since he had been given the opportunity to simply look at her. Her curly hair was messed from sleeping, the way he liked it most. The shirt she had picked was one of his older ones – gray with red and blue stripes. It was the one he had been wearing the night she proposed to him. He had also it on that evening in the grocery store when he told her they were not right for each other. Despite the dark color, it looked good on her. Of course, to Luke, all his shirts looked good on her.
"I guess I should go home," Lorelai said suddenly. Looking up, he noticed that her eyes were open and that she had caught him staring at her. She was on her feet and going for her own clothing before he realized what was happening.
Luke reacted without thinking, taking a step forward to take her hands in his. "Stay," he requested softly.
She did not respond immediately, instead looking uncertainly from him to the door, then to the floor. While he noted the indecision in her eyes, her body had no such compunctions as her grip tightened on his hands and he heard her let out a hopeless sigh.
"Are you sure?" she asked, looking up to meet his gaze. She was giving him one last chance to pull away, to reject her if he was not truly ready to forgive and forget. He had done it once before, after the Valentine's Day dance, so he could not fault her trepidation. But at the same time, it struck him as inconceivable that such a beautiful, loving woman could stand before him wearing one of his shirts, asking him such an obvious question.
It took all his self control to answer, "Absolutely," before claiming her lips in a fierce kiss. As he did so, Lorelai melted into him, all hesitancy forgotten as she wrapped her arms tightly around his body.
When they broke apart, Luke noticed that she was smiling at him. "I love you," she said impulsively.
"I love you," he told her in return, surprised that it felt as good to say the words as to hear them. They were not just lines out of a movie anymore, the thoughtless, casual endearments created through repeated use. They had real meaning, having been founded on the basis of mutual affection, trust, and now forgiveness.
Without further discussion, he backed away slowly, using their entwined fingers to lead her towards the bed. This time, sleep was the furthest thing from either of their minds.
The End
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A/N: For anyone that's interested… the movies mentioned and alluded to in this story, not including the chapter titles, are as follows: Casablanca (chapter 3), Pride & Prejudice (chapter 3), Forrest Gump (chapter 4), Risky Business (chapter 6), Planet of the Apes series, (chapters 7, 9, and 12), You've Got Mail (chapter 8), Forget Paris (chapter 11), The Mirror Has Two Faces (chapter 11), What Women Want (chapter 11), Bridget Jones' Diary (chapter 11), The Mummy (chapter 11), Sleepless in Seattle (chapters 11 and 12), The Lake House (chapter 11), and Playing By Heart (chapter 12).
As for the movies in the chapter titles, I highly recommend all of them except maybe for The Way We Were, which is not a favorite of mine but I do recognize that it's a classic and has particular importance to L/L (re: break-up, take 1). In particular, I recommend my new favorite The Lake House. Liz's mention of it on the show and her comparison to Luke and Lorelai inspired this entire story.