An: Hello this is a fic co written with my sister TassThePhoenix. We are answering a challenge from drunkdragon.

TassThePhoenix: hi-yo!

Shcribble Donamarine: Well with not much to say... ON WITH DA AU FIC!

TassThePhoenix: Of doom and massive mayhem! Mwahahahahahahahahahaha!... Chibis!

Fate's Irony

Chapter 1

To Flee the Dreaded.

It was a glorious escape from a terrible fate in my opinion. I had fled a fate worse then death, until I found a real fate worse then death. A loss of my dignity... Maybe I should have counted my blessings before hand.

But what do you expect; I was running for my life, if not my youth.

I had snuck out of my den before anyone could have gotten me and ran to the nearest human establishment in the area. The crisp autumn air was filling my dark red muzzle and lungs. The sound of small trees and crisp leaves crushing beneath my paws and I worked on my Chakra to hide my trail and scent, a quite effective trick.

If it weren't for the slight worry and panic in my system I would have normally enjoyed a run in the trees, but alas the dreaded date of October 10th was swinging its ugly head around.

As I ran, I suppose I was a little careless, causing a few landslides here and there, a few tsunamis, and I suppose I was a little forceful with that earthquake, but I didn't care. As long as they had to deal with the aftermath long enough for my infamous escape I didn't give a damn. It's hard for a giant nine tailed fox such as myself to hide without using Chakra. And Chakra could be easy to sniff out if you knew how to look.

I had heard the alarms going off in the nearest human establishment, something called the Village hidden in the leaf. Now I may have wreaked a lot of havoc in that village just for the fun of it, one, twice... thousands of times. But now wasn't a time for pleasure havocking.

As expected the strongest human of the village—I believe he's called the Ho-kage something or other—came to protect his village from me. Any other time I suppose that he would have been justified, it was his home, and he smelled like wind, speed, moss, wood fire smoke and... A new-born kit?

The man stood with the dignity that belonged only to us well powered kitsune spirits. Hair that could make a buttercup flower pale, his eyes matched the center of the sky, a white jacket with flames embroidered on the base of the sleeves and the bottom of the coat. He stood upon a giant toad – I think its name is Gama Bunter or something—with his arms crossed and looked at me before he ran at me in a flash that matched his hair and came at me.

I stopped and said "You stupid human, get out of my way." I snarled and bared my long fangs to prove to him that he was out of his league.

That hokage had the moxy to stand in defiance. "Kitsune-sama, as Hokage of the Village hidden in the Leaf, I ask of you to please spare our village and leave."

"Just get out of my way." I snapped back. "I have to go through your village, wither or not you humans get in my way!"

I slammed my paw down to intimate the Hokage, squishing a few ninja stupid enough to get in between my paw and the earth. It was then I realized that I had done a bad, stupid thing.

The Hokage attacked drawing a kunai as he dashed and I had to bring up a tail to block it while I swiped a paw at him.

He leapt off of my tail before the paw even gotten close and shouted orders to his subordinates as they rushed on to the scene. They themselves either placed themselves between the Hokage and Konaha or ran back to the village to evacuate those still inside.

Other Ninja's leapt at me, throwing shruikin and kunai at me as my chakra shield blocked their attacks and I used my tails to swipe at them and removed their tree cover. Those puny humans were fleas in comparison to a powerful kitsune such as myself.

The Hokage glared at me as some of the shinobi were being badly injured or—if I had hit them hard enough—killed by my deadly claws. The giant frog whispered to him and the Yondaime nodded before he whispered something so soft that not even I – with my superior hearing—couldn't understand. I knew that they were planning something.

More Ninja attacked, with more jutsus and weapons before I reprimanded them, hitting harder then earlier. I did care if these ningin-no-baka lived or died, in fact they were starting to become more of an annoyance then an actual threat.

A yellow flash rushed by me in an instant and I gave up on wasting my energy on blocking the inferior joniuns and anbu and focused on their leader.

The Hokage moved and swiped at me as I countered his moves and added my own. I felt a sense of excitement and a type of bloodlust that filled me as it had only done before if I had encountered a worthy opponent. This human might even rival that of my weakest rivals, I suppose. It was an incredible fight, my large size might be enough to crush him like an ant of an ant and he was small enough to slip through my guard if I happened to decide to let him live for the next strike.

My ears were pumping with blood and my hearing accelerated to that of all of the humans heartbeats in the village and I could track them with my peripheral hearing. however my understanding of the languages of any other animal—expect for the growls of other kitsune—seemed to slip trough my understanding like trying to stop a waterfall with nothing but the claw of a normal fox kit.

Adrenalin, how have I missed thee?

I leapt in to the air and pounced on the Hokage as if he were my mousy prey. He however had other plans seeing as when I came down on the pounce he maneuvered out of my paws' reach and used his own Chakra to enhance a kunai enough to break through my shield and gave me a shallow cut on my body that I barely noticed until I smelled the iron-tangy smell that was of my blood.

I leapt away from him, slightly impressed with his chakra stamina and an ever-growing amount of respect for the human's skill and power. It was a shame he wasn't born a kitsune.

As time went on in the battle, my respect for the human grew slightly by each strike, just like the strength of the ever increasing smell of my own, both human and my own.

Our eyes met for a moment and I could sense the ever-growing respect from him too, for we both were worthy opponents. But then he babbled something in human, and by the way his shinobi reacted, my guess is that it was an order.

We attacked for a few moments before he leapt back on to the toad he summoned—I had forgotten that he was there for a moment—and one of the Shinobi leapt on to the toad and handed the Hokage a small bundle.

After a couple of whiffs I barely noticed it but one of the Yondaime's scents had grown stronger, and it wasn't until I had heard the bawling of an infant that it stuck me that it was the scent of the new born kit I was smelling. I saw it and realized that the kit looked just like the Hokage... meaning that it was his.

That (insert a really bad curse word here) idiot! What kind of father takes his kit out in to the middle of a battlefield where its chances of survival were next to zero!

Seeing as the kit's mother wasn't here to protest this, I could only assume that she might have been dead, or was just simply gone, for after a female gives birth, her material instincts were even more powerful then anything else in the world.

Faster than a flood of water drenched a flame of fire my respect to the Hokage disappeared, and a kitsune's good opinion once lost, is lost forever. After all we kitsune keep our kits safe in the den while we fight our battles for they are our heirs, and we must keep our heirs alive for as long as we can.

I looked at him and although he might have sensed that I looked down upon him now as if he were scum, he seemed to still respect me.

He lifted his kit up by the shoulders as the blanket fluttered to the ground next to the toad. I hesitated in attacking him, for I just don't attack kits, ever.

Then he performed a jutsu as soon as he noticed my falter and I bellowed in pain as all nine of my tails felt as if they were being ripped off of my back side and being dragged in to the belly of the kit.

Of course, the Chakra systems of a newborn kit could handle having a huge amount of energy sealed inside of them without receiving nasty side effects.

"Is that the Kyuubi's voice I heard?" A familiar feminine voice growled out in the distance as I felt my stomach drop in panic. It wasn't until the Hokage spoke again that I brought my attention back to the situation at hand.

"Kitsune-sama, I will give you a choice," the father yelled slowly as my ears began to understand what he was saying. "You will promise me that you will learn to walk a mile in a human's shoes before terrorizing a village, or die."

I growled and cursed at him for a few minutes before I sighed in defeat, suddenly sensing a numbing sensation all over my body, my Chakra systems just barely keeping me alive for another minute before my pride decided to step aside in order for me to insure that I will stay alive.

"Fine! I promise you stupid human!" I hissed. He began to glow for a second and placed the infant in to the tongue hold of the frog he was standing on and began to glow even brighter.

I felt an extreme pain cover my body before I blacked out. The last thing I heard was that damn brat's screaming and whisker marks began to form on his cheeks. My whisker marks!

I don't know how long it was until I woke up, but when I did, at first I didn't even think I was alive, for my senses were so dull. Then I opened my eyes and growled, a human's voice filled my ears and it sounded more like a moan then a growl.

My heart skipped a beat as I noticed that my eye sight was lacking and sat up in a human hospital bed, wearing a human hospital gown, and looking at human hands that should have been my paws! I pinched them to make sure that they were real, they hurt. Instantly my hands shot up to my the top of my head searching for kitsune ears only to find that there were only human ears were on the sides of my head. Thinking fast I climbed out of bed and turned in to a complex, and surprisingly flexible pretzel knot in order to look toward my lack of kitsune tails before I collapsed in to a hyperventilating mass of human and hospital gown muttering 'my tails, my tails, my tails!'

It took me a whole minute of this panicking frenzy before I calmed down long enough to figure out that this was the perfect escape from the fate I fled from this morning.

But now I, the ultimate Kyuubi, the nine tailed fox, was now a human with a half of a tail and a human brat somewhere out there in the village with the rest of my tails sealed inside.

I growled in slight loathing as a nurse walked in and called for a doctor saying I was having a panic attack.

Fate must love irony; for she gave me a whole lot of it... figures.

An:

Scribble Donamarine: Well that's the prologue. I think the next chapter will have a time skip in it too.

TassthePhoenix: Bwa hahahahaha! Making people suffer is fun; unless you are the one suffering... then it's not fun.

Scribble Donamarine: I've been thinking...

Tass: Ah Crap.

Scribble: What? I just had an idea and I wanted to know if you were interested.

Tass: I sense impeding doom.

Scribble: My idea is that after a chapter I could write a short story or a weak fan fic idea I keep coming up with, just like those manga short stories you find at the end of a volume or just like in the fan fic A Mother and her Kit by Hyper Guyver. What do you think Tass?

Tass: Meh, Do what ever you want, you write a whole lot better then me.

Scribble: uh thanks for the complement, but you come up with interesting story ideas too!

Tass: I can't write to save my life.

Scribble: Have you even tried?

Tass: Yes.

Scribble: Ah well, so what do you readers think? Read and Review Please.