Author's Note: Okay, so this is my kinda-sorta angsty HM:AWL fanfiction! I know, so strange huh? I normally don't write these whole narrative angsty fanfics, especially not about AWL, but after replaying it for a bit I just had to write more on Lumina. She's such an awesome character. It's also a songfic, using Ayumi Hamasaki's song "Free & Easy". Of course, the original is in japanese, so the lyrics you see in the following are the english translation. Shrugs It still works, imo! Well, I hope you enjoy it!
♪ Sometimes I ask myself,
How far must I go to find my way? ♪
The melody sounds off. I wasn't sure if it was a flat or a sharp, but a single semitone out of place in a melody can throw the whole piece off. I knew that much by now. A melody... a lonely melody. I know I can make it sound better. I want to. I just don't know if I can.
All this lonely melody needs is a harmony to accompany it. A melody without a harmony is like cutting the music in half.
When will the piece be whole? When can I be whole? I wonder... where is my harmony?
♪ I can hear your voice,
A voice saying "Don't Give Up" ♪
"Careful dear," called out the voice of Aunty Romana over my shoulder once again. "Your F should be an F#."
"I know, aunty." I said, not turning around to look at her. I kept my eyes fixed on the keys.
"Did you practice last night?" she asked.
"Yes." I lied. Last night I had not at all practiced... I had something on my mind. It seemed impossible to practice.
"I see. You did your scales, right?"
"...Yes, Aunty." I said, slightly annoyed now. I had the feeling she knew I had not practiced. But how could I...?
"Well... If you say so." she sighed. "You're free to go. Please do practice harder, dear." she said. I was already out of my seat before she finished her sentence. I headed for the door, our two cats meowing at me as they always did. I felt their eyes and Romana's eyes on the back of my head as I left the villa.
It wasn't that I didn't like to play. I loved to play. The sound of the piano almost took me to another world - a surreal world, a fantastic world. But I couldn't reach it like this. Playing all my scales, my arpeggios, my practice excerises - these didn't help. It wasn't what I enjoyed playing. I knew how important it was, but it didn't connect me with the instrument.
Oh, how I longed for that feeling again.
♪I remember the words -
"Your Happiness is my happiness."♪
I felt almost incomplete in this tiny haven they called a village. Granted, I was the only one who could play a piano here - but what good did that do? No one here appreciated my music. How could they? What I played wasn't music, it was - for lack of any other word - rubbish. Practice rubbish that no one wanted to hear. What difference would it make to these villagers - villagers without much of a musical ear - if I messed up? It was just a semitone! That's all they would hear ringing down from the hill that the villa was placed on. Practice music that wasn't inspiring at all.
I did want to fill this village with music. Goddess knows, I may be the only one who could do that. Griffin and Gustafa might have their guitars, but they sit around strumming for hours on end without any variety or anything new. Just like this village. The same cycle, the same songs. Day in and day out.
One day I would fill this village was music.
♪ I'm tired of denial,
And it seems like I'll lose sight of myself... ♪
There was a time when I was inspired. I wanted to play. What happened to those days? Had the spark dissappeared from my heart so soon? My melody was always a lonely one... If only had a harmony to accompany it. Maybe that would rekindle my passion.
I walked up to the hill that faced the ocean. I sat down, the grass swaying slowly in the breeze. The flowers on the hill were plentiful as usual. I think to some extent, I really wanted to keep playing. I just needed more...
Someone to play for. Someone who wanted to hear my music, to hear me play my heart out. Someone who wouldn't correct me when I was wrong, someone who would appreciate my music for what it was.
Was I being too stubborn? Maybe I should just go back to the villa and keep playing... but it's a tedious fate for a musician like me. I sighed heavily and stared out into the waves, constantly going in and out, wetting the same parts of sand over and over again, day in and day out. They needed a purpose, just like me. Their fate might be the same as mine - no one to appreciate me. No one to set me free and let me go beyond my restrictions.
I need that more than anyone knows...
♪ Believe in me, I will always be here for you,
Proof that you're alive is in me... ♪
Something moved at the bottom of the hill. It caught me off-guard, maybe because I was so use to seeing the same colours, the same perpetual motions, the same swaying of the grass, the same motion of the waves.
A boy was walking down there, strolling along. It was him. I felt my heartbeat increase suddenly, as if a sudden breeze had picked up. I wondered if he would notice me...
The wind was playing through the trees. It played a melody, in my opinion. I wondered if he heard it too..
♪ In this filthy world, you collect and save
Only beautiful things. ♪
He suddenly looked up at me, as If I had called to him. Of course I had done no such thing, but the way he looked at me was as if he was greeting me. I lifted my hand slowly and waved to him, he did the same, though perhaps with more enthusiasm.
I looked into his eyes and he looked back. Maybe we were reading each other? Could he tell how I was feeling? I think so, because the next thing he did, was so simple, yet so powerful, and had such an impact; he smiled at me.
I felt as if my heart's beat was something that could not only be felt, but heard now. I could hear it beating in my ears. His smile was encouraging, a smile that shone through to me. It was like he was right here, whispering to my ear, "Don't give up".
Maybe I was looking into this a bit too much. Although, one thing was certain...
♪ A voice saying "Don't give up",
Believe in me, I'll always be standing here. ♪
I watched him pass by the hill, and continue on to his home. I smiled also. I think I felt something change inside me. It was back. A burning passion. An inspiration.
I got up to leave, the wind passing. I slowly walked down the hill and through the village. As I passed, I heard Gustafa's and Griffin's playing. I had never appreciated their music until this moment. That's just what it was - music.
I was always somewhat of a deep thinker for a girl my age. Aunty always told me one day I'd think so much, my head would blow up with so many thoughts and reflections. That's just how I was. I walked up the hill leading to my villa.
I knew what I had to do.
♪ Sometimes I ask myself,
How far must I go to find my way?♪
I opened the doors, the cats meowing at me again, as they always did. I kneeled down and pet each of them on the head. I nodded to Sebastian took up my position at my piano.
I sat down, and stretched my fingers. I closed my eyes, imagining that heartwarming smile and that feeling of my heart beating in my ears.
I opened my eyes, opened my practice book and set it up against my stand. I started at page one, and began to play.
I had never played a more finely tuned F#.
♪ I will always protect you, so you will never lose
That, which you hold so close to your heart. ♪