EXT. ALEXANDRIA CASTLE - EVENING
Zidane is out on the balcony of the West Tower.
ZIDANE
"Now, I don't know about you, but I shit myself after hearin' that one! Now, the final tale tonight-"
DAGGER (O.S)
(Interrupting)
"Zidane, bed time!"
ZIDANE
"..."
DAGGER (O.S)
"Zidane, are you still up on the balcony?"
ZIDANE
"..."
DAGGER (O.S)
"I put your hot water bottle at the end of the bed, just how you like it."
ZIDANE
(Embarrassed)
"C-Coming, Dagger. Heh, anyway, the final story tonight is called 'Zombie Nation.' G'night, folks."
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
FFIX: Zombie Nation
EXT. ALEXANDRIA CASTLE - AFTERNOON
ZIDANE, VIVI, FREYA AND EIKO are all stood outside the castle. Suddenly, the West Tower collapses and crushes Vivi.
FREYA
"Oh my God! They killed Vivi!"
ZIDANE
"You bastards!"
EIKO
"What the heck happened?!"
ZIDANE
"Looks like the tower just fell down. I'm gonna have a word with Rusty about the well being of this castle."
FREYA
"My, my! Look at all the mess!"
ZIDANE
"Well, I suppose we should go bury him. We can't just leave him there after all. C'mon, help me take his body to the burial ground."
EXT. ALEXANDRIA BURIAL GROUND - EVENING
Zidane, Freya and Eiko have dug a hole in the ground. They throw the body of Vivi Ornitier inside, and cover it up.
ZIDANE
"There you go. Rest in piece, Vivi. Would anyone else like to say a few words?"
EIKO
"...I'll miss you, Vivi."
FREYA
"...Me too. You were a good friend."
ZIDANE
"Yadda yadda. Lets go home."
They all leave. Once they have left the burial ground, BLACK WALTZ 1, BLACK WALTZ 2 AND BLACK WALTZ 3 all emerge from the bushes.
WALTZ 1
"Heh-heh-heh! Our plan worked!"
WALTZ 2
"Huh-huh-huh! Yeah I knew it would!"
WALTZ 1
"That dynamite we hid in the West Tower really went off with a BANG, huh?! Heh-heh-heh!"
WALTZ 2
"Real silent dynamite! Huh-huh-huh!"
WALTZ 3
"Will you two knock it off?! We have a job to do!"
WALTZ 2
"Huh-huh-huh! I guess you're right, Black Waltz 3!"
WALTZ 1
"Heh-heh-heh! I'm looking forward to this!"
WALTZ 3
"God, why do you two have to be such morons?! Now, Black Waltz 1, did you bring the Phoenix Down?"
WALTZ 1
"Uh, you mean the EVIL Phoenix Down?"
WALTZ 3
"Did you bring it or not?!"
WALTZ 1
"Heh-heh-heh! Sure I did! It's right here!"
He pulls out a weird kind of Phoenix Down from his coat.
WALTZ 3
"Ah, excellent! The extremely rare Cursed Phoenix Down! Black Waltz 1, you know what to do."
WALTZ 1
"Heh-heh-heh! Certainly!"
Black Waltz 1 uses the Phoenix Down on the grave of Vivi Ornitier. Suddenly, the little black mage rises from the earth. His eyes are a dark shade of red, rather than the usual yellow colour.
WALTZ 3
"Hahahaha! Excellent! It worked perfectly!"
WALTZ 1
"Heh-heh-heh!"
WALTZ 2
"Huh-huh-huh!"
WALTZ 3
"Hey, you two don't get to laugh!"
He hits them both over the head.
WALTZ 1
"Ow, sorry!"
WALTZ 2
"We won't do it again!"
WALTZ 3
"You'd better not! Now, time to put our plan into action."
Black Waltz 3 turns to face Vivi.
WALTZ 3
"How're you feeling, little one?"
VIVI
"..."
WALTZ 2
"Huh-huh-huh! We created a retard!"
WALTZ 1
"Heh-heh-heh! Wait-a-go, Black Waltz 3!"
WALTZ 3
"Will you two shut up?!"
Just then, Vivi jumps up and and bites Black Waltz 3 on the head, followed by Black Waltz 1 and Black Waltz 2. He then stumbles away into the night.
WALTZ 3
"Ow, goddamn that little turd bit me!"
WALTZ 1
"Me too!"
WALTZ 2
"Me three!"
INT. ALEXANDRIA CASTLE - NEXT MORNING
Zidane, Freya and Eiko are all sat at the dinning room table.
ZIDANE
"Wait until you two see my kite later on. It kicks ass."
EIKO
"I bet it does, Zidane!"
ZIDANE
"Uh... yeah."
FREYA
"I'm afraid I'll have to pass, Zidane. I have to get back to Burmecia today."
ZIDANE
"Oh, okay. Nevermind then."
Just then, Vivi walks into the room.
ZIDANE
"Hey, look. Vivi's not dead."
EIKO
"Whoo, you stink Vivi!"
ZIDANE
"You wanna help me with my kite later, Vivi?"
VIVI
"..."
ZIDANE
"I said you wanna help me with my kite later, Vivi?!"
VIVI
"..."
ZIDANE
"I'm talkin' to ya, Vivi! I'm-aw, forget it!"
INT. TRENO - DAY
Black Waltz 1, Black Waltz 2 and Black Waltz 3 are all sat in Doctor Tot's office. DOCTOR TOT is with them.
TOT
"Very interesting..."
WALTZ 3
"W-What is it, Doc?"
TOT
"Well, your temperature is only 55 degrees, you have no pulse, no heartbeat, and your eyes are all puffy and sticky."
WALTZ 3
"Oh no... You mean...?"
TOT
"Yes, and I'm afraid the three of you have pink eye.
WALTZ 3
(Gasp)
"What?!"
TOT
"I'd give you some topical cream but I don't want to touch you."
WALTZ 2
"Huh-huh-huh! I'm so hungry! And all I can think about eating is, eh, is brains!"
TOT
"Yes, well for God's sake don't touch your eyes. I'll prescribe some antibiotics."
EXT. ALEXANDRIA CASTLE - DAY
Zidane, Vivi and Eiko are outside flying a brightly coloured kite.
EIKO
"Wow! It's so pretty!"
ZIDANE
(Flying the kite)
"Yeah, and get a load of this!"
Zidane does a trick with the kite.
EIKO
"Cool! Isn't it cool, Vivi?!"
VIVI
"..."
ZIDANE
"And one day, Eiko, you can learn to fly a kite just like me."
EIKO
"Hurray!"
ZIDANE
"Why don't you hold on to it while I go get a bite to eat."
He passes the kite to Eiko, then walks away.
EIKO
(Flying the kite)
"Look at me! I'm flying a kite!"
VIVI
"..."
Zidane returns with a snack, then Vivi bites Eiko on the arm.
EIKO
"Ow, you bit my arm!"
ZIDANE
"Oh good! Vivi's back to normal!"
EXT. ALEXANDRIA - DAY
Black Waltz 1, Black Waltz 2 and Black Waltz 3 are all walking through the town.
WALTZ 3
"Must eat brains!"
WALTZ 1
"S-So hungry!"
WALTZ 2
"Zeppelin rules!"
They find some people stood on the street corner.
MAN
"Can I help you?"
WALTZ 3
"Mmm..."
The Black Waltz all attack the people. They scream.
INT. ALEXANDRIA CASTLE - AFTERNOON
Zidane, Vivi and Eiko all walk into the dinning room.
ZIDANE
"Well, that sure was fun, huh guys?!
EIKO
"Ergh... I don't feel so good."
VIVI
"..."
Vivi leaves the room.
ZIDANE
"Eiko, maybe you should go to bed. Look how green you are."
DAGGER enters the room.
DAGGER
"I saw Vivi just now out in the corridor. Is he okay?"
ZIDANE
"He's fine."
DAGGER
"Oh, my goodness! Eiko, are you alright?"
EIKO
"..."
She leaps up and bites Dagger, then stumbles out of the room.
DAGGER
"Ow! She attacked me!"
ZIDANE
(Angry)
"Eiko! How dare you?! When I get a hold of you I'm gonna-oh, she left!"
EXT. ALEXANDRIA - AFTERNOON
The whole town is full of zombiefied people.
INT. ALEXANDRIA CASTLE - AFTERNOON
Dagger is laid up in bed. Zidane walks into the room carrying a tray of food.
ZIDANE
"Don't worry, Dagger. I'm gonna look after you, babe."
DAGGER
"..."
She leaps out of bed and bites Zidane on the head, then slowly leaves the room.
ZIDANE
(Rubbing his head)
"Ow, ow, ow! Jeez, Dagger, are you feelin' okay?!"
STEINER (O.S)
"Good afternoon, Princess. Is-ow!"
INT. CORRIDOR - AFTERNOON
STEINER is lying on the floor. Zidane appears beside him.
ZIDANE
"Rusty, what happened?!"
STEINER
"The princess... she just bit... ow..."
ZIDANE
"S-Steiner...?"
STEINER
"..."
He jumps to his feet and advances on Zidane.
ZIDANE
"Steiner, get a grip, man!"
STEINER
"..."
Zidane runs off down the corridor.
INT. DINNING ROOM - AFTERNOON
Zidane runs in to find QUINA.
ZIDANE
"Oh, Quina! Thank God I've found you! Something really weird is going on here!"
Quina turns around. S/he is eating an arm.
ZIDANE
"Q-Quina?! N-Not you too?!"
QUINA
"I no zombie! But when in Rome!"
ZIDANE
"Oh, crap!"
He turns to run out of the room, but Vivi, Dagger and Eiko all block his escape.
ZIDANE
"Ahhh! Get outta the way!"
VIVI
"..."
Suddenly, Steiner and BEATRIX burst through the floor. They are zombiefied aswell.
ZIDANE
(To himself)
"Okay, Zidane, don't panic. I'm pretty confident that somehow something will come along to save me. I'm the hero after all, and we all know that the hero of the story never dies."
The zombies advance onto him, and begin to attack him.
ZIDANE
"Oh, they lied all along!"
Just then, Doctor Tot appears.
TOT
"Oh my! Too much killing, not enough loving."
ZIDANE
"Argh! Doctor Tot, save me!"
TOT
"Zidane! Do not worry! I have a plan! Just play dead for a moment!"
Doctor Tot pulls a Phoenix Down from out of his pocket.
TOT
(To Vivi)
"Try this one for size!"
He uses the item on Vivi, who dies instantly. Soon, all the other zombies begin to turn back to their human form.
DAGGER
"Z-Zidane, what happened?"
TOT
"Ha! I knew it would work! By using a Phoenix Down on the undead, I was able to put a stop to their evil web of destruction."
ZIDANE
"Phew!"
TOT
"Hitting the original zombie was just an added bonus!"
ZIDANE
"Well, I'm just glad that everything is back to normal and we can go fly a kite."
EIKO
"Um, excuse me, but may I remind you that Vivi is still dead."
ZIDANE
"Who cares?! It's none of our concern!"
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THE END
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