Raidou's Rhinovirus
by Nezuko, Prince of Rats

This is a work of derivative fiction based on the manga "Naruto" by Kishimoto Masashi. The characters and the world in which they live are the property of Kishimoto-sensei.

Genma wasn't exactly a nosy person, really, but some things just begged to be investigated. So when Raidou failed to turn up for a workout at 7:00 that morning--and Raidou was never late to anything, ever--Genma had to go find out what the heck was going on. He climbed the steps two at a time, taking the route he would have expected Raidou to have taken down to the ANBU gym, but there was no sign of the man.

At Raidou's door he stopped, listening, feeling for the chakra presence that would tell him the man was home-- and shockingly, he was.

"Yo, Rai-chan! Wake up? You wanking it late or something?" Genma called, pounding on the door. Privately he was a touch concerned. When he said Raidou was never late he meant it. As far as he knew it would take an act of war or gods to keep Raidou from an appointment.

"Go the hell away," a gruff, uncharacteristically raw-sounding voice called from the other side of the door.

Now if that wasn't an invitation for Genma to engage in a little breaking and entering, he didn't know what was. "I'm coming in unless you give me a damn good reason not to in the next ten seconds," he said, already breaking out his lockpicks.

"Screw off, Genma," Raidou grumped back, and then he sneezed.

"What's wrong? You sick?" Genma asked, disabling traps and slipping into Raidou's room. Actually--now that he looked at his friend... "Shit, Rai-chan, you look like hell. What happened to you?"

Raidou was huddled miserably in his bed, red-nosed and red-cheeked, eyes sad and glassy looking. He gave Genma a long-suffering look, then sneezed violently into his hands.

"You are sick. When'd you get sick?" Genma asked, grabbing a roll of toilet paper from Raidou's bathroom and handing it to him to use for makeshift tissues. He sat down on his friend's bed and looked at him with concern.

"Last night," Raidou answered, dabbing at his nose. "And leave me the hell alone. You're just gonna catch it too if you're in here, and all I want to do is sleep."

"You need juice," Genma said, ignoring him. "Have you got any? And soup. You need soup." He walked over to Raidou's little kitchenette and started opening cabinets.

"Don't try to mother me, Genma. Just let me be, for gods sake." Raidou sniffled and coughed and pulled his covers up higher around his chin.

"I'm not," Genma said, rummaging in Raidou's refrigerator and pulling out a carton of orange juice with a triumphant "ha!"

Raidou would have protested further, but he was seized with another violent sneezing fit, then a monumentously long bout of nose blowing. By the time he looked up again, Genma was coming back with a glass of juice in one hand and a steaming cup of something in the other.

"Here, it's tea," Genma said, handing Raidou the cup.

Raidou looked distrustfully at the brew. "What kind of tea? Where'd you get tea? I don't have any tea that smells like that."

"Yeah I know," Genma said. "I added sake and an egg yolk. It's good for a cold. Drink up."

"You have to be kidding me," Raidou said, making a face of pure disgust. "How's making me puke supposed to cure my cold?"

"It won't make you puke. Have a little faith in me, Rai-chan," Genma chided. "It works. My sister taught it to me. Always made me feel better when I was sick." He proffered the cup again. "Try it. Then you can chase it down with the juice."

"If I need a chaser, it must be foul," Raidou said, taking the cup in wary hands. Genma just gave him a look, and Raidou, who did trust his friend, even when he was offering something seemingly inedible as a foodstuff, finally brought the cup to his lips and sipped at it.

"Not like that," Genma said. "Toss it down. You want it to work on your throat."

Raidou sniffled, gave Genma a look that said I will absolutely make sure you suffer so much in this lifetime Hell will seem like a paradise when you get there, and swallowed the contents of the cup.

The egg was thick, but the hot sake and the astringent tea was actually, he had to admit, sort of soothing on his raw throat. And the alcohol fumes rising up behind his palate made his sinuses start to open. Then a jolt hit him, and he gasped.

"What the hell? Genma what the hell is in this?" Raidou coughed, grabbing for the orange juice and chugging it down like a madman.

"Wasabi," Genma answered with a grin. "Helps, though, right?"

"I"m gonna kill you and your children and your children's children!" Raidou gasped. And then he sneezed. And sneezed. And sneezed.

"Give it a minute to work," Genma said, handing Raidou another wad of tissue.

At about the point where Raidou was deciding that death was too good for Genma, though, a miraculous thing happened.

"Hey," Raidou said, sniffling, "I can sort of... breathe."

"Yeah, that was the point," Genma replied. "You sneeze so much of your brains out you lost your power of reasoning?"

"Screw you, Shiranui," Raidou said, not without affection.

"You know, if I'd known it was going to take getting you sick for you to offer that, I'd have found a way to do it months ago," Genma said, smirking and sidling up to Raidou.

"Gods! Genma! Don't you ever give it a rest?" Raidou shoved his friend in the side, then sneezed again, this time, because of Genma's proximity, getting him right in the face.

"Alright, I can take a hint," Genma said, getting up and taking the empty drinkware to the sink. He returned with a glass of water, which he placed by Raidou's bedside. "You lie down and go back to sleep, and I'll bring you some lunch later. I'll wait for you to be feeling better to take you up on your offer."

"You'll take me up on it when I come and voluntarily get in your bed," Raidou said. "You wait for that."

"Sure, sure," Genma said, tucking Raidou's blankets around his friend. "I can wait. You'll come around eventually." He stood up and ambled towards the door. "I'm not really going anywhere today, so you need anything, just holler. I'll be next door." And with that, he went back to his own room.

ooo

A week later, it was Genma who failed to meet Raidou for their workout. But Raidou didn't have to wonder where Genma was. He just stopped by the store to pick up the hottest wasabi powder he could find, and a carton of eggs, and headed for his friend's apartment.

ooo ooo ooo

FIN
Written for Kilerkki, because she's the best.