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Homer's Sunday!
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It's Sunday morning, and the family are ready for their weekly spiritual outing.
Homer: "Moe's tavern, here I come!"
Marge (disappointedly): "Homer! We go through this every week!"
Homer (correcting himself): "Oh, sorry Marge." He clears his throat. "Moe's tavern, here we come!"
Marge (rolling her eyes): "We're going to church, Homer."
Homer (smiling nervously, whilst trying to hide his specially engraved beer mat and bar stool): "Oh, of course…."
He turns to shout up the stairs.
Homer (loudly): "Lisa! Get in the car!"
Lisa's voice is faintly heard.
Lisa: "I'm not going to church today. Tell mom I'm doing homework."
Homer: "I already tried that one last week - it doesn't work."
Lisa (incredulously): "You told mom you were doing homework to avoid church?"
Homer (rolling his eyes): "Yes, but it doesn't work. Neither does 'my gynaecologist advised me not to'."
A few moments later, Lisa descends the staircase to face the family.
Lisa (determinedly): "I've decided to no longer bow down to society's pressure to seek solace in a greater being. Instead I will endeavour to find truth in my own heart and let my conscience guide my - "
Homer (in a baby voice, bending down to Lisa's eye-level): "Lisa, if you go to church, Daddy will give you a gum-drop."
Lisa (lowering her eyebrows): "Please don't patronise me, Dad."
Homer blinks.
He blinks some more.
Homer (still in a baby voice): "Gum-drops are little sweets, honey."
Lisa (rolling her eyes): "I'll get my coat."
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A little later that day….
Homer: "Why are you carrying a wrapped up present, Lisa?"
Lisa: "I'm going to Apu and Manjula's wedding."
Homer: "Is that why you're wearing those strange clothes?" He points at Lisa's usual red dress, which she has worn every day of her life.
Homer (in a terribly hurt voice): "And why wasn't I invited?"
Lisa: "You were invited, Dad. That's why you're holding a bunch of flowers and a card with 'To Apu and Manjula on your wedding day' written on it."
Homer looks down at the gifts in his hands for a good few minutes. He looks up again at Lisa.
Homer (confused): "And why are you carrying a present, Lisa?
Lisa (rolling her eyes): "I'm going to Apu and Manjula's wedding."
Homer (in a terribly hurt voice): "Why wasn't I invited?"
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Hope you enjoyed it!