I heard the sparsely suppressed cries of my love, and it tore into my heart like a vibroblade tears into flesh.
A wave of pain hit me, but it was not my own. It was hers. Pregnancy must have been a horrible venture, and Padme must have been so strong just to bare it. It was awful.
And that's how I felt, awful.
"Padme!" I shouted, pushing my way through the chittering droids. They were all muttering something about Medbay regulations, but I wasn't listening.
Her head lifted up, and the beads of sweat matting her normally beautiful hair trickled down her cheek as her eyes centered on me. She was undergoing immense pain, tremendous torment, but somewhere in her wonderful eyes, within the universe of beauty that I saw in her pupils, I could detect the relief that we both felt at seeing each other.
It was one of love's miracles, to never tire of the feeling of merely seeing one another, no matter the situation.
"Agh… Ani!" She panted. Her voice was so weak, and I suddenly felt stronger.
Some people liked to view love as an emotion, take the Jedi for instance. It only showed me how little they knew about it, that they thought it was a mere emotion.
Love was no emotion. Love was so much more powerful than that. Emotions are one tracked, simple feelings that make a person think of one thing and nothing else. Love was something that made you feel many emotions, and have many thoughts, but all centered around whatever it is you love.
And thus, love was more complicated and mysterious than even the Force. I could never understand it, nor would I claim to. But the Jedi think they understand love, when they don't.
One of the things I admired about Obi-Wan, one of the things that made me respect him more than any other Jedi was the fact that he didn't claim to know anything about love, and didn't intend to learn about it.
He openly told me that he was afraid to love, because he was told that love hurts. He heard right.
At times like this, love hurts. It really hurts. It hurt me to see Padme in such pain, but it made me stronger. It made me stronger because love is also a bond. A bond between two things.
A powerful bond.
It was this same bond that sent Padme's pain to me, and this same bond that also made me feel her relief at seeing me.
But seeing her in pain made me stronger. I became stronger because I had to be strong for the both of us, because she didn't have any more strength to give right now. It was not the pain or the bond that gave me strength, but necessity.
I HAD to be strong. Strong for her.
I knelt down at her side, and she clasped her clammy, trembling palm into my one flesh hand. She squeezed it hard. I never knew such a tiny hand could squeeze so hard. It only showed me that I still knew nothing of love or Padme.
She was strong, and she still had strength. She was using it to fight the pain, though.
And I felt that strength as it threatened to crush my hand like a vice. But I held it calmly, squinting a little as she was still squeezing pretty hard.
But I was happy that she was squeezing so hard. If she had that much life left in her, then maybe this vision wouldn't come true…
No. There were no maybes. That vision would NOT come true. I wouldn't let it. And I could see that Padme wouldn't let it either. It didn't matter if it was the will of the Force, because together, Padme and I were stronger than even the Force.
Our love was stronger.
"Ana…Kin… Urrrgh!" She grunted, face twisting in pain. My stomach heaved as I felt the blow hit me, as well.
"Padme, it's alright, you're going to be just fine. I'm here now, I'm here and I'm fine." I said, trying to comfort her. She sort of nodded under me, and then screamed at the top of her lungs.
I glanced at one of the medical droids.
"What is happening, are her vital signs intact?" I asked it. The droid merely looked up at me, and it's head whirled around. I sighed, seeing that it was not programmed to interact with anything but surgical operations.
I glanced at Padme, and she shook her head. She knew what I was thinking, but she was telling me that she would not release my hand.
Now I really could do nothing but wait. My right hand was deactivated, and needed to be charged before it would function. And she was holding my left. I could not reprogram any of the droids to be more… helpful without the use of my hands.
If there was a sentient in the room, I could use a mind trick to get information out of him, but there were only droids. It only made sense, droids were more efficient…
But there should have at least been an overseer in the room. There was not.
That irritated me.
Suddenly, Padme's eyes trailed away from me, and looked toward the doorway. I looked up to see a very irritated Jedi Master tapping his foot on a broken durasteel door, shaking his head at me. I would surely get a lecture for that little stunt…
I smiled weakly at him. Even though he was not pleased to see me this time, I was pleased to see him. He could help me out, at least more than these droids could.
Obi-Wan had a very handy skill at his disposal—he was learned in the arts of healing. On countless occasions have I been wounded in a mission, only to have Obi-Wan treat me with efficiency and skill, as if it were nothing more than a scratch.
I asked him about it once, and he merely said that it was a skill every Jedi should be learned in, and handed me a thick book. I was not patient enough to read past the cover.
"Obi-Wan… Eh…" I trailed, not knowing how to word my apology. He shook his head and entered the room, flinching a bit at Padme's state. Only a bit.
"Save it, Anakin. I already know why you did what you did, and you've heard the following lecture many times before. We can discuss your punishment later." He said, shaking his head.
I was already a fully fledged Jedi Knight, and as usual, Obi-Wan was still treating me like his Padawan. Typical Obi-Wan. Of course, as a Master, he had the right.
Besides, he was always lenient on me as far as punishment went. Both Jedi Masters and Jedi Knights are expected to give very strict punishments for disobedience such as what I displayed here, but I knew when Obi-Wan said 'punishment', he probably just meant the usual—I'd have to pay the credits for the damages I caused, and meditate in the corner for a half an hour. Yes, I know, very degrading, but I've grown used to it. It's just kind of funny now.
I had… Well, I think I had 1500 some credits stashed away at my apartment. That should cover that flimsy durasteel door, and maybe half of that medical droid. I could earn the rest easy enough, working as a free lance droid technician for a week or so.
Of course, as a Senator, Padme made many more credits than I did, and she'd gladly give me anything I needed without even asking what it was for, but Obi-Wan always made sure that credits I spent came out of my pocket, and mine alone. Especially when it came to damage I caused.
You can tell I've gone through this before, can't you? Haha…
"Forgive me Master… Can you please find out how Padme's doing?" I asked, feeling somewhat dependant, a feeling I didn't much like. Obi-Wan frowned, and for a minute there, you could see the harsh creases of the years on his visage. That was his 'I'm too old for this' look. I saw that look so very many times, even though he was still fairly young for a Master.
I mean, Master Yoda is 800 something…. I think.
Maybe it was in the 600s?
Oh well. Master Yoda, believe it or not, was sensitive about his age, too. Whenever anyone asked him about it he would just glare at them in a way that says "I'm over 25, and that's all you need to know!"
Obi-Wan nodded toward Padme as a way to acknowledge her presence, and he went to the opposite side of the room, careful not to interfere with any of the droid's work. He absent mindedly took a clipboard from one of them and looked at it, before handing it back. He picked up a minicomputer that one of them had set down, and opened it, typing a few things into it, scratching his chin as he looked at the screen. For a flash of an instant, he looked extremely surprised about something. He closed it and set it back where it was.
Last thing he did was close his eyes and whisper to himself, holding his fingers up every now and then—a show that he was doing a few minor calculations. He opened his eyes, and smiled at me, then at Padme.
"Good news, Senator, you're in perfectly healthy condition." He said. I'd never heard such beautiful words leave the man's lips as those.
For a moment I couldn't even smile, because I just couldn't believe it. That was too good to be true, but it was true. I was counting on it's being true.
"Of course I, ahh! Am… I told you… urrrgh… Ani…." Padme said through a series of grunts and whimpers.
I didn't smile, but I calmed down. It wasn't over yet. It wouldn't be over until the baby was born, and neither I nor Padme could relax until that was over with.
My master made his way to me, and whispered into my ear.
"Anakin, I have to tell you something important." He said, "About her." He added.
I whispered back to him. "Why are you whispering…? Is it bad?"
He actually smiled. I didn't like the way he was smiling. "Depends on your perspective, young one."
"Why can't Padme know…?" I asked him. He shushed me quickly, making sure not to talk unless she wasn't looking. Padme doesn't like it when people kept things from her, and we both knew it.
"Because, it's better that she doesn't know that she's going to experience the pain of birthing not one, but two."
I felt my heart climb into my throat.
"You can't mean…?"
He nodded solemnly. "Yes, Anakin, she's carrying twins."
Now that was what you call an emotional sucker punch. I'll tell you one thing right now, I was not too excited when Padme first told me that I had gotten her pregnant.
I felt the same thing that all fathers feel when they first become fathers—fear. I wasn't ready for a child. I loved Padme, and I had every intention to have a family with her, but… not so early as this. I had never cared for a child before. What if I messed up or something? What if I didn't hold it right?
What if the child hated me?
And now I learn that there won't be one child, but two. Twice the trouble, twice the fear.
Twice the pain Padme had to live through.
But Padme, as one would suspect, was so excited when she first learned that she was going to have my child. It showed in her every movement—she couldn't wait to be a mother. It now occurred to me that she had purposefully neglected taking any sort of birth regulators or pregnancy control capsules. I suppose this is what I get for letting my less dependable head do the thinking.
I never believed in the term 'soul mates' until I met Padme. But that didn't mean her and I agreed on everything. Children was one of those things in which our views were very different. I was a child once, and I knew how I wanted to be treated as a child. That was all I knew of how to deal with a child.
I was not a normal child. Not really. And I also knew that you can't always give a child what it wants. But still, I knew nothing of what to discipline, what to praise, what to scold, what to reward…
Obi-Wan once told me that having me as a Padawan was like babysitting a child. That was the same day that I beat him in Pazaak 5 times in a row of course, but still, I think he meant it.
I wonder if Obi-Wan could give me any advice…
"Obi-Wan." I suddenly said, so Padme couldn't hear. He looked at me, and moved his head closer to mine. I clutched my love's hand a little tighter, letting her know I was there. "What should we do? I can hide Padme, and she can hide me, but how are we to hide our children…?"
Obi-Wan looked very troubled by the question, and for a moment he pondered it, scratching his whiskery chin in thought.
"…Let us cross that bridge when we come to it, young one." He said, evading the question.
I didn't blame him for not knowing what to do either.
And I felt bad, because it wasn't Obi-Wan's problem, but mine. Mine and Padme's.
"Auuuuughhh!" Padme suddenly shrieked, clenching my hand with the power of a frenzied Gammorean. Obi-Wan jumped up, eyes wild.
"It's happening!" He said.
---------------------+
The birthing was a long process… A long, very painful process that I would not at all like to review, at least not in too much detail. I have no idea how Padme, much less any woman could possibly endure such physical torment as birthing a child, much less two. Even after they dosed her with enough sedatives to bring down a Zakkeg, Padme could not rest, could not do anything but scream in agony.
And I felt all of it, every bit, because of our bond. I felt like my heart had been dipped in molten carbonite every time I saw her beautiful face wince.
It seemed like the whole process took hours upon hours. I was there, offering her all I could, those being mere words of comfort, and my hand, numb and bruised from her unrelenting grip.
Obi-Wan didn't seem satisfied with merely standing there, so he helped out a bit, handing the droids the things that they needed, administering as much sedatives as Padme could withstand without them putting her into a coma, and regulating her vitals, making sure to tell me how she was doing at intervals.
I then did something very, very stupid. I felt the desire to trail away from Padme's side, and try and see where all that blood was coming from.
This was a part of Padme that, I assure you, I had seen many times before.
This time I found that it wasn't nearly as pleasurable to look at as it was before. I don't know if I'll ever be able to look at it again. And I also feel bad, because the fact that I promptly vomited 4 to 6 times seemed to confuse some of the busy medical droids, whom were programmed to administer medication to anything that exhibited illness.
By the time I was done throwing up what seemed like 9 or 10 organs, I saw my first born child. Obi-Wan bumped one of the droids out of the way, and personally handled the removal of the umbilical cord, and the cleaning of the little one.
Obi-wan started to show me the child, which was still a little bloody and screaming at the top of it's little lungs, and I bit my lip. He smiled.
"Squeamish? Haha, Anakin, it's a boy!" He told me. I only looked away from the child, feeling a cold chill run through me as the tiny voice pierced through me.
Then I heard another little voice.
Padme continued to coil and squirm and heave, and I continued to wish this would all be over.
Obi-Wan set the small baby boy in a crib-like tub that seemed to be used for such things, and he went back into the fray, helping to deliver the second child, the child neither I nor Padme had known about. The process was rather quick this time, and before I knew it, my Master had freed another tiny body from my wife's… you know what I mean.
He cleaned the infant quickly and efficiently, as he did any wound or infection, and he wrapped it up in a little blanket, which he had taken from one of the droids. He told us that this one was a girl. The droids were exceedingly confused now, seeing as Obi-Wan had done some of the things they were supposed to do, and they were bumping into one another and such. But that didn't matter. Not even the babies mattered, all that mattered to me right then was Padme.
As soon as that second child had left her, her form went weak and limp, all of the energy at her disposal having been spent on that one act, rather two. Her hand no longer gripped mine, and her eyes were closed.
I was horrified.
"Padme…?" I called, quietly.
"Padme." Obi-Wan said over me, holding both of the babies carefully.
And the next thing that happened was, I'm positive, the happiest moment of my life:
Padme opened her eyes, and smiled.
She was alive. She was alive…
My visions never came true.
I felt hot, joyous tears stream down my cheeks as she smiled at Obi-Wan, then at me. And then Padme told me, in a hushed, weak, but very alive voice something I'd never been so happy to hear:
"Told ya' so, Ani…"
And Obi-Wan was smiling too, big and bright, as he held my children, one in each arm. He was happy for us. Obi-Wan ever proved to be my best friend in the whole world, the one who would never let me down. The one I could always count on.
I finally accepted that I had children, and that I was now bonded to more than one individual. I held my arm out. Obi-Wan handed me what I believed to be the girl, and he handed the other one to Padme. Both the children were still whimpering and the one I held was full-on screaming, but as soon as the little boy entered Padme's arms, and she petted him gently, he calmed down and went silent, seeming fully content in her arms.
I knew how it felt to be in her arms. It was a very comforting, wonderful feeling. I knew that no child, no matter how upset, could cry whilst in her arms.
I wish I could say the same about myself, but the little girl I held did not seem quite so at peace with me, and she kicked and screamed in sheer frustration, making all kinds of noise.
And Obi-Wan and Padme…
Were they laughing at me?
"No, no, Anakin, not like that…" Obi-Wan informed.
"Agh, she won't be still!" I said, trying to keep control of the squirming child.
"It's because you're holding her wrong!" Padme said with wide eyes.
"I only have one arm!" I announced. Obi-Wan held his arms out, and I gladly handed him the child. Hoo-boy, was I ever not ready for this…
"Well gracious, Anakin, why didn't you say so?" My mentor told me, with a worried frown. He wagged his head toward a workbench that I had been eyeing ever since I entered the room.
My arm was of custom design, so only my own specially crafted quantum-cells could power it efficiently, but I could use any old hydrospanner to power it up if I had a work station. It just took longer.
-----------------------+
About a minute after my arm was back online, I was nearly arrested by the Medbay overseer and a few officers, but Obi-Wan just gave a wave of his hand and told them they 'didn't want to detain me' and they understood perfectly.
I left naming the children completely up to Padme, as I knew she'd have it no other way. She had obviously premeditated the names, as she gave them without hesitation when the overseer asked—The boy was to be called Luke, and the girl would be known as Leia.
I liked both names, because Padme loved them, and put a lot of thought into them.
I was so very happy that she was alive. But she was very, very tired.
"Anakin…" She called drowsily. "I'm going to rest my eyes for a bit now… Stay here with me… Please?" She asked me. I held one of her hands in both of mine, and kissed it gently.
"I wouldn't leave you if you asked me to." I told her. She smiled weakly, and closed her eyes.
I sat by her for what felt like a few hours, and yet mere minutes. I didn't care, because it was a happy moment. The happiest moment of my life. I was happy, just sitting there with her. She was so beautiful.
I turned my head to look at Obi-Wan, whom was also very calm and collected, meditating. At this point both babies were sleeping, so it was nice and quiet. He probably felt my eyes on him, because he opened his and looked back at me. He smiled a little, and I returned the favor.
"Thank you, master." I told him. He held his hand up as if to wave the apology off. I was one of the few to see it, but I knew—Obi-Wan was humble by nature, not because he was a Jedi Master.
"I was only doing what I wanted to do, young one." He told me. I smiled, and was silent for a moment.
"…I didn't know you knew how to deliver children, master." I stated, merely for the sake of conversation. It had been a good while since my mentor and I had had a good conversation. He grinned.
"I didn't." He chuckled. "Not for humans, anyway."
I cocked my head at him. "But you knew how to birth what? A Devaronian?"
He laughed heartily.
"No, but I was once on a transport ship with a pregnant Twi'lek. Thankfully their anatomy and that of a human female are not that different." He told me. I smirked at him.
"You know that from experience, Master?" I teased. I swear, at that moment, his face flushed with blood, and went redder than a Sith's saber.
"Now Anakin, that is forbidden by the Jedi Order, you know that…" He said, hiding his face somewhat. Oh, I had him now.
"I also know that you were once just as young, foolish, and 'in control' of your hormones as I am, Master." I prodded. He got redder, and seemed to be checking to see if anyone else was listening.
"Confound it, young one, the past is the past, and it should be left in the past…" He said, getting a little irritated now. I began to snicker a little at him.
"Come on, Master, you can tell me. What was her name?" I asked. Obi-Wan looked at me in that 'respect your elders' sort of way, and it only made the situation funnier.
"Her name is no concern of yours-"
"So there is a girl!" I half shouted. Obi-Wan flinched, and hissed at me to keep it down.
"(cough) WAS." He practically hacked out.
I grinned at the Master. He was pretending to be agitated with me, and was glaring, but not even Obi-Wan's cold glares could take me out of the fantastic mood I was in.
"Hehehe. Come now, Master, tell me about her." I chuckled.
"No." He said, folding his arms.
"Why not?" I said with a fake pout.
"Because." He stated simply.
"Oh goodness, do you still care for her, Master?" I prodded out of curiosity. I was highly amused as his eyes shrunk in surprise.
"Anakin, are you reading my mind?" He asked me. I laughed.
"Of course not, Master, I was reading your feelings!" I admitted. This wasn't Force mind reading, this was intuitive perceptiveness. And seeing Obi-Wan's reaction to it was a riot.
Master wouldn't talk to me for a few minutes after that, so I just chuckled and decided to let it go, for now. I'd yet find out who Obi-Wan's long lost sweetheart was, believe you me. When he finally calmed down I turned and smiled at him again. He only shook his head this time.
"Master, how long do you think she'll be out?" I asked him. He scratched his chin.
"At least a day. I gave her an awful lot of sedatives, and they usually take full effect immediately after large episodes of exertion. She could sleep up to 25 hours before she wakes up."
I frowned. "That is an awfully long time."
He grinned at me. "Can't sit still for that long, can you? I didn't think so." He chuckled.
I only frowned, not wanting to break a promise to Padme, but not wanting to stick around in this horrible place for a whole day, either. I felt cold, and I think Obi-Wan noticed.
"Come, Anakin. I've got some robes for you to change into back in your room. It'll only take a minute." He told me.
We went back to the room where I woke up, and I quickly changed into what was not just a robe, but a whole Jedi outfit. The garments were plain, and unassuming, just as all Jedi clothes were, but these were special, I could tell. They were dyed an exotic bluish hue, and they were comfortable and so very, very warm. I liked them a lot.
"These are very nice. Obi-Wan, where did you purchase these?" I asked him, wishing to have robes like this of my own. He smiled at me.
"They're yours to keep, you don't have to ask. They're Echani training robes, passed down in my family for generations. They're specially designed to trap heat within the fabric, so they're resistant to cold climates."
I felt as if I'd just stolen something precious from the man. "I couldn't possibly accept a family heirloom from you, Obi-Wan! Especially not one so valuable as this…" I said, beginning to remove them. He stopped me.
"Anakin, it's a gift. I was planning to give it to you on your birthday, but as reckless as you are, I don't know if you'll live to see that day, so I'm giving them to you now. You scared me to death with that last stunt you know, getting electrocuted by a Sith Lord?" He said, giving me one of his looks. I frowned, remembering.
"I appreciate your concern, Master." I told him. "But are you sure…?"
He nodded. "Just call it a present to celebrate the health of your newborns."
----------+
We went back to the room where they were keeping Padme, and I smiled at her, sitting down in the chair where I was before. The babies were also, thank goodness, sleeping peacefully.
A moment passed, and I just stared at Padme's sleeping form, totally content with just that. Maybe it wouldn't be so hard to stay here for a day, after all?
I looked at Obi-Wan, suddenly curious.
"You said this was a family heirloom? Where did your family get Echani robes…?" I asked, feeling as if there was something I didn't know. My Master only smiled.
"What, you didn't know? My great grandfather was an Echani warrior." He informed me.
My eyes went wide. All of those years spent training under him, and it never clicked—Why did Master train in, not only lightsaber combat, but Echani hand-to-hand as well? I thought it was just one of those 'it's something all Jedi should know' things! And all this time, Obi-Wan had Echani ties in his family!
And Obi-Wan didn't teach me just any old Saber style, he taught me his own, which was not just swordplay, but involved a lot of physical blows, like kicks and punches when you have a free limb and an opening. It was one of the reasons he was made a Master, perfecting this style.
He called it Echaru, because it was a combination of Echani fighting and the Ataru style.
I suppose I should inform you; the Echani are a race of powerful hand-to-hand fighters who live mostly in cold climates. They appear human outwardly, only their skin is much paler, and their hair is most always snow white…
Something else donned upon me.
"No wonder you have white hairs at such a young age!" I exclaimed, making Obi-Wan look at me in sheer insult, and hiss for me to be quiet.
One of the babies stirred, and nearly woke up, and I slapped my hand on my mouth quickly.
"And yes, young one, THAT is why I have white hairs, not because I'm old, but because I am 1/8th Echani…" He said, seeming somewhat irritated still. I fake pouted at him, though there was a grin underneath it.
"How come you never tell me these things, Master?"
He only glared at me. "Because I know how you'll react, and I don't like it."
"Aw, I love you too, Master." I teased him. He only scoffed at me, though I know he was smiling underneath.
A moment passed.
"By the way, Master, what happened to my lightsaber?"