Disclaimer: I do not own CHiPs, the actors, actors or anything associated with the show. This is my own work of fiction.

Rejection and Realization

Officer Frank "Ponch" Poncherello had a problem. He'd tried to keep his lifestyle hidden from the rest of the CHP department, but being partnered with Jon on patrol made it extremely difficult. Much to Ponch's confusion, he was undeniably attracted to the tall blonde officer with the striking blue eyes.

Ponch had known when he joined the California Highway Patrol that he was gay, and although gays had been accepted in the coastal state for years, he was still reluctant to come out. Not that it would've been a big deal; he knew that Grossman was gay as well; the entire department did. But Ponch was not attracted to him like he was Jon Baker. Jon had that 'something' that attracted him like a moth to a candle. He just didn't want to get his wings singed.

It was a Tuesday, and started out like any routine patrol. By noon, they'd stopped several motorists for speeding and worked a major five-car pileup on Highway 101. Hungry, they began to discuss what to eat for lunch. Ponch couldn't hold back his thoughts any longer, and as Jon bit into his double-meat hamburger, Ponch broached the subject subtly.

"So, partner," he asked, "you seeing anyone?" Jon wiped his mouth on a paper napkin.

"Not seriously. Since I broke up with Jenny, I've tried to be careful. I don't want her to think that I got rid of her just to hook up as soon as she moved out."

He explained as he dabbed a French fry in the puddle of ketchup on his paper plate.

Ponch stared at him out of the corner of his eye, admiring again the laugh lines around the other man's eyes. They always seemed to be there; ready to crinkle when Jon smiled even a little bit.

The dark haired cop had to admit he was more than a little attracted to his partner, and all though he'd been involved in a serious relationship for over six months, his mind wandered constantly to thoughts involving Jon. Ponch's eyes traveled the length of Jon's body, fit and attractive in his uniform. His thoughts were interrupted when Jon spoke.

"How about you; Are you hooked up with anyone?" he asked.

The question was innocent enough, but Ponch felt compelled to tell his partner his true feelings.

"Actually," he began, swallowing the lump of nervousness in his throat,

"There's this person at the station I've been thinking of asking out for quite a while now." He said, and shrugged. "No one really special," he said, trying to act nonchalant.

Jon smiled, the crinkles around his eyes deepening, and causing Ponch's stomach to flip.

"Oh, yeah?" Jon asked, looking his partner full in the face.

"Who's the lucky girl? Bonnie?" he asked; referring to the slender blonde officer that routinely sat between them during de-briefing.

Ponch shook his head, his sparkling smile white against his dark skin.

"Nope," he said, and laced his fingers together nervously.

Jon raised an eyebrow.

"Good," he grinned, because she and I are going out this weekend and I'd hate to think I had competition,"

Ponch inhaled deeply, calming his nerves. Looking around to make sure no one was watching he lowered his voice.

"Hey, partner," he began, smiling at the irony of the word, "how about we go out this weekend?" he suggested, and Jon shrugged; not grasping his friend's meaning.

"I don't see why not," he said, adding, "I bet Bonnie wouldn't mind."

Ponch shook his head, squeezing his fingers together to keep them from shaking so terribly.

"I mean us;" he began, "you and I." He watched Jon's reaction from the corner of his eye.

It would've been funny, if it wasn't so disappointing. As he watched the shock register in Jon's blue eyes, and the deep red flush creep slowly up his neck, ears and face, Ponch realised he'd made a huge mistake. He could only hope his partner wouldn't say anything back at the station. Jon slowly wiped his hands with his napkin, seeming to take an inordinate amount of time cleaning imaginary hamburger grease from them. Finally, he looked up. Ponch's heart was beating so loudly in his ears that he almost couldn't hear Jon's reply.

"Did I hear you correctly?" Jon asked, looking at Ponch in disbelief.

"You and I go out together?" he reiterated, just to be clear.

Ponch's smile was nervous, bordering on sheepish.

"Yeah. Look Jon, it's no big deal." Carefully, he made a move, laying his hand on the other officer's thigh.

Jon practically jumped over the table, somehow managing to put it between him and his partner without seeming to move at all. He stared open-mouthed at the man before him.

"Are you saying you're gay?" he asked, although he didn't need much convincing. Ponch's rubbing his hand over Jon's leg had been enough proof for him.

"Hey, partner;" Ponch began, "it's nothing to be scared of, I mean, I'm still the same old guy you see every day." His smile had dimmed, and his heart plummeted into his chest as he watched Jon raise his hands and shake his head.

"Look, I'm not afraid of anything. I've got a brother who's gay. But I don't swing that way, Ponch." He finished, and gave a half-smile.

"I'm sorry," he began and then puffed his cheeks.

"Don't apologize," Ponch said, standing to throw trash in the container behind him.

"I have held my feelings in for so long, I had to see what would happen. No one has to know," he began, but Jon drew his fingers across his throat in a cutting motion.

"Ponch, your proclivities, lifestyle; whatever you want to call it, don't bother me. But you need to understand that I'm not attracted to men." The image of Bonnie lying beside him in bed that morning flashed through his mind.

No, he was definitely hetero, and there wasn't any doubt in his mind that he was attracted to the opposite sex. He'd made that perfectly clear with Bonnie half the night. Still, it came as a shock to him that Ponch was gay. He'd always shown a keen interest in women, and had even joked with Jon that he was a bigger player than anyone could imagine. Jon couldn't believe that it had all been a ruse.

Ponch was quiet, his dark eyes downcast toward his plate.

"Listen, partner," Jon faltered over the word but went on, "I don't want to hurt your feelings, and I respect and accept your lifestyle, but it's not mine." He looked at Ponch, who said nothing.

Jon was beginning to get uncomfortable. Although he wouldn't tell a soul, he couldn't help but feel some empathy for his partner. Jon had been rejected by a woman; he imagined it would be the same for Ponch to be rejected by a man. Feelings of hurt and inadequacy didn't respect gender or sexual orientation. Picking up his helmet from the table, Jon strapped it to his head. Looking over, he saw Ponch watching him with sadness.

"Its time to get back to work," Jon said, and stared at a spot over Ponch's shoulder.

Getting no response, Jon walked casually to his motorcycle, straddled it, kick started it and pulled his gloves on before pulling away from the curb. He knew Ponch would catch up to him, and by his leaving, he could discreetly give the other man time to pull himself together.

Stopped at a stoplight, Jon was pleasantly surprised to see Bonnie pull up across the intersection from him. She waved, and he returned it cheerily, but he saw her frown, and she raised her hands, palms up. "What's wrong?" the question was plain on her face, and Jon motioned for her to follow him. Pulling into a parking space in front of Casual Step Fitness, Jon dismounted from his bike just as Bonnie got out of her car. In spite of the heaviness on his mind, he had to smile as the slender young woman walked over to him. Not caring if anyone saw them, Jon slid his arms around her waist. Bonnie looked into his eyes.

"I could tell something's wrong all the way across the street back there," she began, and Jon sighed.

"I'm afraid I just hurt someone's feelings pretty badly," he said, and flicked his gaze in the direction they'd come from.

"How?" Bonnie asked, tracing her fingers over the nameplate on Jon's uniform.
Jon gazed into her face before shaking his head.

"I can't say right now, babe," he said, and planted a quick kiss on the end of her nose.

"Let's just say sometimes, things aren't as they seem." Bonnie raised an eyebrow.

"No one's asking you out are they?" she teased, unaware how right she was.

Jon felt himself wince, and quickly covered with a grin.

"I'm afraid I'd have to turn them down, honey," he responded with a warm smile,

"Because I've already got the one I want."

Holding Bonnie against him, his confusion and guilt over hurting his friend's feelings receeded at the feel of her warm body in his arms. As their lips came together, neither of them noticed Ponch riding up on his motorcycle. Ponch slowed, watching as his partner shared a kiss with the woman he so obviously loved.

At that moment, Ponch realized that Jon was happy and secure in his lifestyle, and that was okay with him. Smiling to himself, Ponch turned the corner and pulled up to the small café where his boyfriend worked as a waiter. It would be good to see Jeff, he decided, after all; he couldn't let Jon be the only one in a committed relationship. Still sitting on his bike, Ponch couldn't help but feel relief. He'd asked Jon out, and although he'd been rejected, it was good to know that his patrol partner still accepted him for who he was. It was only right that Ponch return that respect. Looking up, he saw Jeff watching him through the window. Waving, the other man turned to holler at someone across the café before stepping out into the bright California sun. As he approached, Ponch grinned, knowing that he too, was with the one he belonged.