A/N: This is a fic was inspired by the Nirvana song Smells Like Teen Spirit. Just another one of my idiotic and slightly demented one-shots -sheepish grin-... Did I mention that it was idiotic? Beacuse really that sums up every thing but the very ending.

Warnings: Shonen-ai, ooc-ness, swearing, general stupidity... And oh ye-a, mentions of Bakura and Ryou's rather active sex life... And fluff! -dances- ... Wait, do I really have to add that into the warning?

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. I just like to play with them... Oooo! Wait I own Jordan, even though I'd rather not. He's kind of a prick.

"Smells Like Teen Spirit"

"Mornin' baka Pharaoh." Bakura drawled as he continued trying to stuff his backpack into the tiny locker.

Yami just sighed, dropping the 'stealthy' act. "How do you always hear me coming?"

"Magic." Bakura gave the bag one more shove, grabbed his books and slammed the little metal door.

"Speaking of magic; Your hikari's stolen mine."

Bakura just grunted. This morning Ryou had looked fuckin' awful and had felt even worse. Instead of letting his yami stay home and care for him he had called Yugi. And it was all because he'd blown up the microwave that one time.

And when the tombrobber had been leaving the little, midget light had come-a-knocking. Although Bakura had to admit, he did feel better knowing that Ryou was in good hands... Small, but good hands, Bakura thought with a smirk.

"I hate this fucking place." Marik barked as he made his way towards them.

"Join the fuckin' club."

The three sort of migrated towards Marik's locker next.

"Marik, where's Malik?" Yami asked after a few minutes.

"Oh," Marik shrugged, "I lost him."

"Sorry I asked." Yami grumbled under his breath.

Then something dawned on Bakura. "We have a light free day."

"... So it would seem." The evil little glint in Marik's eye was working overtime. "How long's it been since you've set something on fire 'Kura?" he asked innocently.

And it was as if somebody had flipped a switch; Bakura's palms grew sweaty and he began to yearn for the smell of smoke... And the n he was back to normal... Or as 'normal' as Bakura ever is. "Too long."

"Today's looking up." Yami mused as the bell rang and they all ambled off to their respective classes, each thinking of more than one way to create chaos. Because as Bakura had mentioned, it was a Light-Free Day and none of them knew when an opportunity like this would come around again.

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The three met second period for gym class. They all hated changing out of their leathers and chains but it was well worth it when the teacher announced that they would be playing dodge ball.

As sinister grins and feral smirks crossed each yami's face their classmates began to look very worried.

"Yami and... Jordan, you two pick teams." Said the teacher, already on his way to fetch the bag of balls.

"Bakura. Marik."

"B-but, you're only supposed to choose one player at a ti-"

"Was I talking to you kid? Really no offense but you've gotta learn to mind your own business, otherwise who know what could happen." Yami said coldly, doing his best impersonation of a mob boss.

The boy named Jordan just nodded mutely and looked as though he was about to piss his pants. It didn't help his nerves any when Marik grabbed his ass in passing.

"You get the rest." Bakura pointed out, leaning against the bleachers and waiting for the fun to begin.

"Alright then," the teacher said upon his return, "get to your sides." with that he dumped the balls onto the floor and left the gym, probably to have a smoke in the parking lot (No really though, some gym teachers do this, I've seen it).

But nobody really gave a damn where the teacher went because Yami's team was already knocking the other students down like flies. Within minutes only one person on the opposing team was still standing and Bakura and Marik were looking pretty menacing with kick balls in hand. The boy crumpled to the floor as both yami's hit home.

Yami, on the other hand was lounging on the bleachers, having decided there was no sport in the game any longer and was taking a nap.

"Anyone up for another round?" Bakura asked in the most innocent and polite voice he could muster. However the only response he got was a groan or two and one kid was still twitching where he'd fallen.

With a shrug Marik turned and went to the locker room to change back into his leathers, Bakura right behind him.

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When the bell finally rang Yami made his way to driver's ed.

"Now Yami, I want you to maneuver around the orange cones and then stop when you come to the end of the line." The instructor said.

"Yes ma'am."

Yami started the car but instead of swerving around the cones he drove through them. When he stopped hearing the satisfying bumps they made beneath the tires he did a donut (driving around in a circle really fast) at the end of the line. He looked over to see the teacher gripping her seat for dear life and grinned.

I'm thirsty, he realized idly, so he peeled out of the school parking lot and drove for the nearest Starbuck's. The teacher was still deathly pale so he did the considerate thing and asked if she wanted anything to drink as he pulled up to the drive thru window. She just shook he head spastically.

"What can I get you?"

"Espresso, tall please... And a muffin."

"What kind of muffin, sir?"

"... Surprise me." he said absent mindedly, rooting through his pockets for change.

When they finally got back to school the teacher ran off in a hurry. Leaving Yami to chuckle as he made his way to his next class, still sipping his espresso.

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The next time the three yami's saw each other it was at lunch. When Yami caught up with them Marik was listing off all the ways he had disrupted his math class, using only a pack of gum. (I'm leaving that one to your imaginations people -grins-)

"I'm bored... Either of you ever started a food fight?"

With out a word Bakura left to get a hot lunch. Marik and Yami met him on his way out of the line and together the three made their way over to the jock table.

When they were about a yard away Bakura took a handful of the white, pasty mashed potatoes and hurled them at a football players head. Needless say they hit home, with an audible wet splat.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" the jock spun around, whipping mashed potatoes all over anyone in the immediate vicinity. "You!" He all but screeched as Bakura gave him alittle wave. The jock then tried to throw a fruit cup at the thief, but for an athlete he had really crappy aim and it landed on Joey instead. (It's implied that Joey's a hot head, not that that's a bad thing mind you.)

Within minuets every kind of cafeteria in circulation for the day was flying back and forth across the room. Bakura, Marik and Yami alternated between rolling on the ground in laughter and watching the festivities.

But all too soon the bell rang and they all trudged back to class.

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History class was boring so Bakura decided to make use of the extra time and made a list of "necessities" he would need to stock up on for when Ryou was feeling better.

So there he was scribbling away, imagining exactly how each item would be put o use, when the teacher's form cast a shadow over his paper.

"Care to share your note with the class?" he asked in a snide tone of voice.

"No, not really." The phrase, "Liar, liar pants on fire' danced through the back of Bakura's mind.

"Well, wither you read it or I will. Out loud, please."

Bakura sighed as if it were some sort of great burden as his classmates snickered over him finally getting caught. So with a sly grin he began, "Two leather dog collars, four metal leashes, two lengths of rope, three jars of peanut butter, eight cans of whipped cream and eleven bottles of K-Y warming and lubricant. Just to be on the safe side, you know; it's better to have too much rather than not enough."

He looked up to see the entire class - including the teacher - blushing brighter that Ryou ever had.

"Ry-chan and I are very busy in our recreational hours." he confided with a wink.

The teacher cleared his throat several times and looked as though he was about to say something, when the bell rang.

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Science, the last period of the day, the yami's also had this class together. In addition to that the science lab also happened to be where they kept the matches. The fact that they were locked away behind glass, cabinet doors wasn't really much of deterrent, especially since Marik had agreed earlier to distract that teacher while he picked that lock. After that Yami was going to mix the chemicals, then Bakura was to set them on fire and they were all to run like fuckin' hell.

A few minutes after the start of class the phone rang and the teacher went into the hall to take the call. An unexpected event but helpful nonetheless.

On cue, Marik got up and moved to the front of the class. "I have an announcement to make! Today I will be doing something I've always wanted to try!" -dramatic pause for effect- "Taking a human's brain out through their nose!"

Bakura smirked at the image Marik made before he and Yami slunk off towards the bank of cabinets in the back of the room.

"Now, if you could all get into a single file line... And I do mean ALL of you (minus Yami and Kura), this could take a few tries to get exactly right." he said, brandishing the Millennium rod menacingly.

Bakura jiggled the lock pit into the right position and waited for the click. When it came he slid out he contraption and moved aside to let Yami do his part.

"Come, come! I understand that some of you are unwilling to die, but it won't hurt... All that much..."

Yami was now mixing several colored liquids into the same beaker.

"Okay, who am I trying to kid? It will hurt like mother-fucking hell. Most of you will probably to bawl and beg before I'm done... That being said. 'Git your asses up here before I have to use mind control!"

"Marik Ishtar!" The teacher shrieked from the door way. "What do you think you're doing?"

"... You'll never catch me you old crone! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" At which point the teacher made a lunge for Marik which only sent him running in circles around the room while still laughing maniacally.

The rest of the class sat stock still, in a shocked and confused silence.

Bakura smirked once more and turned back to Yami.

"Done." said the former Pharaoh, looking mighty pleased with himself.

"You'll never catch me!" Marik yelled as he ran past them. He was still being followed by a very out of breath teacher.

Bakura quickly grabbed the nearest book of matches, lit one and set the rest of the book on fire. After taking a moment to marvel at the orange flames he tossed it blue-ish purple solution.

Quickly the flames spread over the top of the mixture and the beaker itself began to vibrate.

"Shall we?" Bakura asked, turning to Yami.

"Let's." with that he and Bakura made their way to the door. "Marik, let's get goin'!" he said hurriedly. Said boy ran past them into the hall, still laughing.

"Fire!" Bakura yelled before all three made a run for it down the hall. They watched from a safe distance as all the other students and the teacher raced into the hall. And just as the last one flew out the door the sound of exploding glass met their ears.

Within moments, fire trucks arrived and it was announced that there would be no school the next day.

For his part, Marik couldn't seem to stop laughing, but had calmed down enough to climb on his motorcycle. "I'm going to bring my hikari a really big cookie." he said with a nod. "With frosting and sprinkles... I wonder if he'll taste like sugar afterwards." he mused before starting up the contraption and driving away.

Bakura and Yami just waved. Each was still wondering how Marik had managed to "lose" his hikari in the first place.

Then they walked to Bakura and Ryou's house where Yugi met them at the door. The smaller boy put a finger to his lips, meaning that Ryou was asleep. With a small smile the midget grabbed his jacket and left with Yami as quietly as possible.

Bakura crept to the bedroom he and Ryou shared and slunk inside.

Ryou lay on his side surrounded by dirty tissues and empty cough drop wrappers. His nose was tinted red, his hair was mussed and his mouth was slightly agape. He looked so adorable Bakura couldn't resist. Careful, so as not to wake his little light he crawled onto the bed and lay beside him.

"Hmm. Good morning Kura. How was school?"

"First of all Love, it's afternoon. And second, school was fine." Bakura chuckled as Ryou's body curled closer to his own, so now the slighter was half-sitting in his lap, it was comfy.

Ryou just nodded and began to fall asleep once more.

Bakura pressed a tender kiss to his light's forehead, "Feel better soon , Koi." he whispered before dozing off himself.

A/N: I loooove the ending! Even if I don't exactly love how the rest of it turned out (self-esteem issues evident here). But tell me what you thought (a.k.a: Review! Please and sankyuu!)