Runaway

Chapter 1: Ordinary Monday Morning

(Family Guy Theme Song Begins)

It seems today

That all you see

Is violence in movies

And sex on TV

But where are those good old-fashioned values?

On which we used to rely?

Lucky there's a family guy

Lucky there's a man who

Positively can do

All the things that make us…

Laugh and cry

He's a Family Guy…

(Setting: Quahog, Rhode Island; 6:55 am; Present Day)

A Monday morning swept over the town of Quahog, Rhode Island. The Griffin family woke up and went downstairs to begin a new week. They all went into the kitchen to eat breakfast. Lois served them all pancakes.

"Oh, thank you, Lois, you know how I really enjoy pancakes," Stewie, the one-year-old said. "I shall set aside my hate for you whilst I eat this delectable meal." He then started to pig out.

Brian, the family's dog, was freaked out by Stewie's pig-like behavior. "Uh…Stewie. Have you ever heard of something called manners?" Brian asked.

"Shut your moth, dog! Nobody asked you to speak!" Stewie yelled. He took his fork and suddenly hurdled it at Brian. Brian's eyes widened, and he ducked before it jabbed him. Instead, the fork stuck on the refrigerator. "Damn!" Stewie shouted.

"Stewie, what did I say about bad-mouthing at the table?" Lois questioned Stewie sternly.

"Yes, let me thing. Uh…you told me not to, or you would take Rupert, my beloved teddy bear, from me."

"That's right, honey," Lois said.

"Well, LOIS, I'll have you know that Rupert is hidden in a place where you'll never find him," Stewie said defiantly.

(Cuts to scene outside. Rupert is tied up tightly to the top of a tall tree in the backyard. However, the camera backs out to reveal that the tree is covered with "I hate Lois" and "Lois must die" posters. There are pictures with Lois on them with a big red slash over her picture. Cuts back inside.)

"Up yours!" Stewie shouted.

"That's it, young man! I've had enough of your backtalk!" Lois said. She picked him up and took him out of the kitchen.

"No, no, no!" Stewie shouted. "I'll have my revenge! You can't stop me! Ever!" However, Lois took Stewie out of the kitchen, and she returned a moment later without him and sat back down at the table.

"Uh…what just happened?" Peter asked.

"Stewie got in trouble," Chris giggled.

"Do you think Stewie will ever grow up?" Brian wondered.

"I just don't know what's wrong with him," Lois said. "It's like he wants to kill me or something." All of a sudden, all the family members except Lois stop eating, and their eyes and jaws open wide in shock. They acted as though they knew something she didn't. "What?" Lois asked, starting to get worried. "It was just a hypothetical statement, right?"

The family giggled nervously. "Yeah, Lois. Heh heh heh heh heh heh. Hippothetical," Peter said.

"Peter, she said hypothetical, not hippothetical," Brian corrected.

"Brian, I've got ears. I know what she said. And my ears have never deceived me. Except for that one time –" Peter started.

"Peter, we're not going to hear one of your random, pointless flashbacks again, are we?" Brian asked.

Peter sighed. "You stopped me this time."

The family continued to eat breakfast, and by the time they finished, Chris and Meg got their things ready to go to school. "What's new at school, kids?" Lois asked.

"Nothing really, Mom," Chris said. "I'm going to sleep all day."

"What about you, Meg?" Lois asked.

"There's this cute boy that I want to go out with. I'm going to talk to him today," Meg said.

"Have a good day, kids," Lois said.

"Bye," Chris and Meg said as they walked out the door.

After Lois shut the door, she turned and headed toward the stairs. She started to go upstairs. However, she was unaware that Stewie was at the top with an evil plan up his sleeve. There was a rolling chair at the top of the stairs that he was going to push down on Lois. He grinned when he saw Lois approaching the stairs. When she started walking up, Stewie instantly shoved the chair down the stairs. But Lois jumped off the stairs quickly when she saw a Playboy magazine on the floor of the living room. The chair instantly crashed into the wall and broke.

"Agh!" Stewie shouted in anger.

"Playboy, huh?" Lois said to herself. "This magazine must belong to either Peter or Chris. I'm going to give them both a firm talking-to later today!" She snatched the Playboy magazine and took it into the kitchen with her.