AN: Spoilers for people who haven't read past chapter 330. I know the Luffy VS Usopp arc is long over, but this scene just refused to get itself out of my head. Sorry if it's OOC. Sappy mushy crap ahead.
It had been a terrible thing to witness, teeth clenched so hard his jaw had ached, unable to stop the tears from leaving burning trails down his cheeks as captain and marksmen fought each other. It had been worse, the grating silence that hung heavy over Merry's atmosphere, watching helplessly, unable to do anything from his position behind the ship's railings, as they struck fiercely at each other, feeling blow after relentless blow as the two exchanged hits.
Being the doctor on a pirate crew, and a crew whose hundred-million-berri-bounty captain was constantly targeted by Marines and whose swordsman and cook were at constant loggerheads with each other at that, meant that he was exposed to a huge amount of unhealthy violence on a daily basis. He'd been with the StrawHat Pirates through a number of battles, had seen them getting severely beaten up and injured and had taken a couple of bashings himself. He wasn't new to violence. He wasn't new to watching blood spill freely, or watching as people went at each other with killing intent.
The fight he was observing now was barely comparable to some of the larger, deadlier fights he'd seen his crew involved in, but somehow, every blow that landed seemed a hundred times worse.
Luffy, their forever cheerful captain, staggering back burnt and bloodied from the force of the Impact Dial in his face. Jaw line set in grim determination, teeth bared in a snarl as he caught himself, charged in again for another attack.
Usopp, the cowardly marksman, fists clenched, entire stance radiating furious rage, screaming at his ex-captain. Crowing premature victory in a strained, raw voice, collapsing to his knees in defeat after the solid punch landed to his already-badly-injured midsection.
Luffy, turning away from Usopp, the movement finale, straw hat pulled low over his face. His mouth was drawn into a thin, severe line as he walked slowly, almost mechanically, back to a ship that he announced was now the sniper's.
Luffy crying.
Everyone who knew Luffy knew Luffy did not cry.
Said captain was now sitting quietly on the couch in the sleeping quarters below decks. The little reindeer was fussing over the wounds and bruises he'd obtained in the aforementioned battle. The others were bustling about outside, getting ready to leave the ship – it was Usopp's now, afterall.
Chopper was chattering, rattling off small advice, the sound of his own voice and what he was actually saying barely registering in his own ears. He just needed some form of clamor; anything that would clear the unnatural silence that had overtaken the ship since their captain had came back on board. Luffy hadn't spoken a single word since then, heading past his nakama as if they weren't there, deaf to Nami's worried calls as he disappeared below decks. The reindeer had run after him immediately and quickly got to work patching up the boy's injuries while Zoro gave out orders.
The injuries he was treating weren't terribly serious, but the doctor cleaned and bandaged each of the boy's cuts, scrapes, burns and bruises with considerably more care than usual. Luffy's head was still lowered, arms hanging limply by his sides. He'd stopped crying a few minutes before Chopper had come in.
The doctor rounded off some gauze about the rubber boy's head, taping down the ends securely. "All done," he announced, gently, quietly, trying to smile as he usually did whenever the hyperactive rubber boy managed to hold considerably still enough for him to do his job. The captain did not look up, unnervingly silent, unmoving, only the slight rise and fall of his heavily bandaged chest any indication that he was alive.
Chopper tried to keep from flailing nervously. "Um, L-Luffy?"
The figure on the couch stirred slightly. "Yeah." Then his head tilted, raised enough for the shadows to lift from his face, and Luffy tried to smile back. Tried. The effort it took to raise the edges of his lips was painfully obvious, and the forced smile was disturbing to see on a face that was almost always set in a goofy, carefree grin. "Thanks, Chopper."
The doctor would normally have blushed and gone into a tirade of curses and insults at the appreciation. Instead, he bit his lower lip. "They… they should heal in a couple of days or so. You normally recover fast, and these aren't that physically serious."
"'kay." Luffy was getting to his feet, shifting on the couch to shuffle back into sandals that had been tossed off earlier. The grin had disappeared abruptly, now replaced with the same blank, somber stare from earlier. Chopper didn't like it. This wasn't the Luffy he knew. But who was he to ask his captain to smile and act as though nothing had happened, after what they'd just gone through?
Luffy was almost to the ladder that lead to the upper decks when he paused, a hand on the rungs, and gave a half turn towards the doctor, who was packing up his supplies from where they'd been set out along the couch.
"Chopper?"
"Yes, Luffy?"
"Um…"
Luffy gave a half laugh. "It… still kinda hurts," he admitted, not facing the doctor entirely.
Chopper was by his side in an instant, worried-doctor face on. "Did I miss a wound? How stupid of me… Where does it hurt?"
The boy hesitated, then raised a hand to gingerly spread his fingers over his heart.
Both said nothing for a while. There was nothing beneath his fingers save for what was clearly a clean, securely-wrapped, well-bandaged chest, but the reindeer knew Luffy wasn't referring to his physical wounds.
To him, Luffy had always been The Captain. The wide-eyed boy with a crazy grin and crazier powers, an undaunted attitude, and who always knew just what to do in the right situations, no matter how absurd his decisions. "Decisive," Zoro had said earlier, "that's what a captain is."
The boy who was currently standing before him looked wearied, pained, tired despite his straight posture and youthful face, and above all, lost. Luffy's eyes were the windows to his soul, and now, all the doctor could see in them was grief, hurt, and despair from being at a utter loss for what to do.
Chopper grew larger then, towering harmlessly over his captain in his full-fledged man form. With two large, furry arms he reached around the boy and gently embraced his captain, pulling him against his broad chest, encompassing him in loving warmth.
"It hurts for all of us, too," he said, softly. "I'm sorry I don't have a cure, because I'm not the one who can give it. But this… this is the best I can do. For now."
A few seconds later, Luffy buried his head into the reindeer's chest, the straw hat tickling him through his fur, and two rubbery arms snaked themselves around him to return the hug with a small squeeze, a gesture of understanding, acceptance, gratitude. They held each other for a while, and then Chopper allowed the boy to detangle his arms from around him, before returning to his normal form.
"Thanks, Chopper," Luffy said, the small smile on his face a little less strained.
Chopper squirmed. "Anytime, asshole."