Disclaimer-I don't own Digimon.
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Miyako kara Ken e
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Back then, I felt as if I was just a part of the crowd of raving fan girls. Did I care if I was one of the masses? No...no, I didn't care. I truly believed that there was a chance that I could succeed when no other had. I had dreams. I didn't care whether I could reach them or not. Just knowing they were mine was enough.
Do you know how many hours I spent contemplating whether I should shake Daisuke's hand? I'm exaggerating, but back then...it was the same thing to me. A year could have been a day, and all that mattered was that I had succeeded. I had a connection to you, even if it was just Daisuke of all people. It was a chance to meet you, a chance to say, "I shook the hand of the boy who shook hands with Ken Ichijouji!" and send my fellow classmates into the world of jealousy.
Take one guess at how I felt when I discovered whom you were. I was sickened with myself. All my dreams...I began to wonder if they would result in unfortunate accidents such as my dream with you did. I didn't want my dreams to fall apart, so I tried lying to myself, saying that you were cute, trying to believe you were still the great guy I thought you were. I really, really didn't want my dreams to die. I wanted them to overflow with happiness, but...
Even after you changed, I was frightened when you were around. So emotionless when you destroyed that digimon, control spire or no...I was truly frightened. I almost preferred you evil. At least then no one was dying. They were under your control, but they were alive.
I wanted to hate you forever. I really did. I'm ashamed to admit it. But after hearing you laugh, truly, genuinely, from the heart, I decided you weren't so bad. I couldn't hate you. You were human. You are human. I finally saw that, and I realized it was only natural you scared me.
I'm human, too.
Like a dam blocking more water than it can handle, my feelings poured out before my very eyes those seconds after your laughter rang in my ears. It was unbelievable, too good to be true. I was in shock. Everything was a mess after that, if only inside of me. It only took a few more minutes, maybe even seconds before I was back to my old Miyako self, but...
I felt like I had changed, too. It sounds strange, I know. The day Daisuke shook hands with you, I felt superior to all those other girls. After hearing your laughter, after getting to really know you, after crying at night and waking up red-eyed for a week after I saw you in the Digital World again, after you changed...
I had changed, too. I was truly superior to them all. I was your friend.
Ken, did they care about you one bit after you weren't the world's super genius? I don't think so. No, not the way we did.
We. Your real friends. Me, Daisuke, Hikari, Takeru, and Iori, not to mention all the other digidestined.
Forever. We'll always be friends, but even closer than that. The word 'friend' is such a loose term, I've realized, just like the word...'love.' People take it for granted sometimes, naming a person they've only known for five minutes as a friend. Children, too, don't know the meaning. They say the first child who plays with them is their friend, but are they friends? They don't understand each other. They don't really know each other for sure. This is why the word 'friend' isn't in my vocabulary anymore.
We'll be a second family. A second family, because we're so close, and because no matter what happens, we'll be by your side. All the world cared about before was your great grades, how you were so smart, how you were so dashingly great at everything.
We'll stick by you through thick and thin. Didn't they all abandon you after you stopped getting those great grades? We're still with you, Ken. We'll always be with you. We don't care about your grades. We care about you, and we'll always care about you, and we'll make sure you can reach your dreams.
Please, don't look at me like I'm crazy every time I open my mouth. I can be a bit hyper, I know, but I can be serious, too. I'm a girl. What can I say?
Maybe I'll never be able to say this out loud. I don't know how to put it into words. How can I? Every day, there are thousands of feelings that just well up inside of me. I want to let them out, but they can't be put into words. I want to share them with the world, but how?
Where once I was just another girl...
No.
Like a dam holding back more water than it can handle...
Ridiculous.
I guess I really can't put this into words, even in my own head. It's just one of those unexplainable feelings.
Ken. Look at me if you care. Just once. Look, and smile, and I'll smile back. Do you know why? Do you want to know why...?
I have faith in you, Ken, more than ever before. You aren't just some other good-looking guy, you're part of my second family who just happens to be smart, cute, and whatever. (Oh, Miyako don't get your hopes up!) I love you, and I have faith in you. Understand, please, you'll never be alone. I promise, I'll be your guardian angel by your side.
I'll watch your back. Will you watch mine...?
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A/N-
Could have been better, and longer, too. Events she refers to are definitely shady. I need to refresh on my Digimon 02 information. Opinions?
Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter.
Review or Flame.