Tsunade stared at the legal document before her. It was stained with various shades if brown, wrinkled and crumpled. It was the most important document in Konoha's history. It was – Had been – a peace treaty between Konoha and Sunga, ensuring another fifty years of peace. She had been just about to sign it when a rather severe shock from the Yamanaka girl made her spit up her coffee. This was one of the many documents that there was only one copy of, and she couldn't have used a photocopy anyway, as the Kazekage's signature was on the original. She couldn't hand them this, spitting coffee on a peace treaty was not particularly diplomatic. And she couldn't call them and ask for another copy, either.

As the Godaime was staring at the defiant piece of paper on her desk with her head in her hands, an all-too familiar face popped in the door.

"Tsunade-baba! I need a mission!"

Tsunade looked up to see Naruto, clad in black and dark orange and demanding work. Ino and Sakura stood to one side of him and Hinata and Kiba to the other. His eyes were closed tight as usual, so he didn't see the sake jug flying towards his him and could do nothing to stop it from hitting him in the forehead. It bounced off and flipped through the air, spilling sake on Hinata and Sakura, before smashing against the wall and splashing the rest on Ino. The Hokage raised an eyebrow, then leapt for the poor boy's throat.

"You come back after three years and that's all you have to say to me?" Her hands were gripping the tall boy's collar. "I am going to put you in so much PAIN-"

Hinata's eyes widened. "Ho- Hokage-sama! Please stop strangling Naruto-kun!" She pleaded, but to little avail. Even with her arms nearly straightened above her head, Tsunade's attempts to intimidate the boy were severely handicapped by the fact that his toes were still scraping the ground. Naruto, however, instinctively simpered and whined at the verbal abuse he was getting. A similar scene had occurred a few times before he left, and his brain was so busy remembering the pain that it forgot to notice that he could easily overpower the Godaime.

BLOODY KIT. Came a rumbling deep in his mind. YOU'RE STRONGER THAN THE VIXEN. STOP LETTING HER BERATE YOU AND GET WHAT YOU CAME FOR.

The reminder was unneeded however, as a sigh came from Naruto's side. He craned his head to see Ino trying to wring the sake out of her clothes. "Hokage-sama, you should really let him down. You're the one who sent him away with that hermit, and you never specified a time."

The blonde leader's wrath now turned on the young flower-arranger, while Naruto still dangled (sort of).

"That's not the problem and you know it.' She dropped her 'little brother' and seemed to pout for a moment. Naruto stared at her, rubbing his neck tentatively. "What is?" he asked, rather bewildered.

Tsunade rounded on him again. "You know perfectly well what is!" She said. "You're gone for three years and you greet me with a 'Hey, give me money'? Not in this lifetime!"

Naruto stared at her for a moment longer, before throwing her head back and letting out a huge laugh. He then rushed the foot or so forward and clamped his 'aunt' in a bear hug similar to the ones he had been giving out in the street earlier.

"It's good to see you again, Tsunade-baba." He said warmly, his voice muffled because he was pressing his face to the top of her head. Tsunade growled and stiffened, but slowly relaxed in the monstrous grip of the other blonde ninja. Hinata smiled softly, while Kiba just stared and Sakura and Ino tried to stifle giggles at the thought of those two out of anyone acting mushy.

The Hokage broke off suddenly and walked back to the desk, where she opened a drawer and pulled out another sake jug (receiving stares from Hinata and Ino and a weary sigh from Sakura). "So, what was this you were saying about a mission?"

Naruto looked mildly surprised, then grinned and threw his arm in the air. "Yes! I need a mission, and soon!"

The Godaime sighed and flipped open a folder sitting on her desk. "Well, we have a few C missions sitting around-"

"Noooooooo!" Whined Naruto, screwing up his face. "I need a B or higher! The D and C missions are boring, plus I need the money!"

Tsunade twitched and stood up, leaning towards him over her desk. "I can't give you A and S rank missions! You're still a gennin, remember?" She gestured towards the surrounding Shinobi. "The highest I could give them is an A, and that's only if the jounin are busy!"

Naruto's mouth hung open for a moment, before it was put into use once more. "Tsunade-baba!" he cried. "You can't do that to me! I need the money now and the next chunnin exam isn't until…" He faltered. "Um…"

Sakura sighed. "The last one was three weeks ago, Naruto."

"Th… Three weeks ago?" shrieked Naruto. "That means the next isn't for more than five months! I'm supposed to do D rank missions until then? Where in the heck am I going to live?" the blonde had just paused for breath when Tsunade pulled back her arm, still holding a sake jug. Anticipating another piece of pottery aimed at his forehead, Naruto closed his mouth and put his hands over his head.

"As I was saying…" Said the Hokage through clenched teeth. "I have s special mission for you, it's C rank, but it's not your average mission." She steepled her fingers in front of her and leant her chin on her hands. "Naruto…" She said seriously. "I charge you with the heavy and difficult task of…"

She trailed off, noticing the fact that her audience was leaning forward at a forty-five degree angle. Every ninja in the room apart from her was holding their breath as though there was a gas leak in the building.

"Well, here's you're mission. It's for all five of you, and any other members of the Rookie Nine that you can get to help."

Forty-five degrees became thrity-five.

"Take Naruto down the street to the Kinuwata barbar's and have that ridiculouos ponytail snipped off of him."

"WHAT?" Yelled five different ninja. Tsunade's formerly entranced crowd was now merely enraged.

"TSUNADE-BABA!" Naruto was audible even over the din. Years of having to scream has it's benefits. "I need missions that will actually get me enough money to pay rent, what kind of joke are you trying to pull?"

The Hokage was on her feet once more. "Look, I can't give you anything else! I'll give you enough each week for food, but you'll have to take care of lodgings with whatever money you can get from C missions. Any more and the Council won't just have my head, but yours on top of it!"

"Garnished with ramen?" Asked Naruto hopefully.

Sakura looked at him out of the corner of her eyes. "You don't even know what garnished means, do you?"

"ENOUGH." Tsunade had the floor once again. "Naruto, I'll help you however I can, but you're going to have to rely on guys like these." She gestured to the ninja who stood around him. "I'm sorry I can't do more." A small grin made it's was to her face, seemingly before consulting her brain. "Now, if you're willing to accept D-grade pay, I think you'd like to take care of that rat-tail now, wouldn't you?'

The Shinobi stared at her for a moment longer before turning on Naruto and carrying him bodily through the office door.

Tsunade's grin widened as she shooed them away with a brisk hand gesture, then sat down to resume her staring contest with the peace treaty.

(A/N) Okay. New fourth chapter. The stage that the last one was setting up didn't really work for me any more, which is why this was on hiatus for so long. But there's not enough Naru/Ino out there, and I need to do justice to my favourite crack pairing. Second favourite, actually, but as nobody here's read Cat Out Of The Bag you'll never know the first. (It's not a Naruto fanfic, so don't worry yourselves about it)

Anyways, slightly… MASSIVELY different plot. Slightly different tone. But I'm still keeping the Bingo cameos. Those will be fun.