Zarbon's Tears

By, The Mouse of Anon

Disclaimer: Okay, right off the bat I'd like to say I own no one from DBZ. I just had this kicking around in my head (however pathetically) after going on a DBZ binge- so no kill I!

Author's Note: This is a poem with yaoi/bishonen ai hints, if you don't like, don't read it. Also, warning: this has got some major sap in it (in my opinion anyway). Frankly I'm a little surprised I actually wrote this, but what can I say? I like Zarbon X Raditz, they make a good (if slightly dysfunctional) couple. In any case, read as you will. Oh yeah, and another thing- the poem is in no particular form, so don't bitch me out for it not rhyming all the time. Now that that's been said, enjoy! n.nV

I live…

I live and I die.

I cry.

I escape, I try, I whisper my heart's cry to the evening sky.

No one cares, no one tries.

No one wants to know what goes on in this heart of mine.

A nymph, from lands of water, trapped on a ship in service to a conquering lord.

Fallen, disgraced, yet a flicker of hope.

Saiyans, thought they were filthy beasts, I was wrong.

Raditz, he whom I love…

He is my light, my hope, my blissful eternity, my peace.

Can he forgive me? Can he love me?

Do saiyans believe in love at first sight?

Please, let me know this night.

This nymph is lost and all alone,

So very far from my home.

I knew from the moment I first saw you…

I loved.

I loved a saiyan.

That changed everything.

Gone was my contempt.

Gone was my disgust.

Gone was my rage.

My love for Raditz I felt was driving me insane.

I could no longer have contempt for that race.

I could no longer hate them.

Not when I saw that beauty.

Could he love me?

Would he ever love me?

Can I bring myself to ask?

Can I handle that task?

Raditz, you I love-

Will I ever be with you?

I saw you across the room, just boarding the ship, and my heart stopped.

I felt my eyes go wide as my contempt dropped.

I wanted to be with you from that moment, but I was afraid.

Afraid of contempt, disgust, and hate.

Afraid that my love would be unreturned.

Thinking that made my heart burn.

I almost cried you know.

Cried because I thought I'd never be with you.

I wouldn't pursue you with force.

I'd rather know your mind.

Do you like me?

Am I a friend?

Am I one to be trusted until the end?

When we vacationed on Murri that was one of the best days of my life.

I only wished we had been able to stay.

Loyalty to the prince and knowledge that Frieza would kill us both if we didn't come back made us return.

If you have no wish to be near me I will respect that.

I would not cause you grief, not if I can help it.

I do not wish you harm, nor do I wish to be separated from you.

If I could I would follow you to eternity.

My love, my life…

Losing you would be a blow to the heart with a knife.

So as I write, as I cry, I hope you will love me and never die.

"Love at first sight is as true as the waters are blue."

That is what we nymphs say anyway.

On my world it is understood and recognized,

Never demoralized.

Out here…

Water is not always blue.

Love is not always true.

Betrayal and hate are around every corner.

Not everyone has love at first sight.

To most it is a joke, to others a flat out lie.

Does this little nymph dare try?

On An'sheera it was easy, I would just tell the one I loved the truth.

Out here I must be cautious.

I can't afford the hate and disgust that would be directed at a "fickle" nymph.

So if it is my joy to be with you I must take it slow.

I do not want control.

I don't want to chase if you don't want me.

If it's in your heart as well please pull me close and never let me go.

Be my köriim, my love.

This little nymph's heart swells as my tears can tell.

It is for Raditz my heart is spelled.

For him I fell.

Break my heart if you must,

Please do not leave my heart to accumulate dust.

Break it or uplift it, either is better than this painful ache-

Not knowing.

Condemn me or save me.

This nymph is tired of being alone.

So tell me whether or not I'm casting my heart to stone.

Let me know even if the hurt cuts to the bone.

Did you know that when you came back from that one mission almost dead,

I wanted to sit by your bed?

I couldn't show it.

I cried.

If Frieza knew he'd use my love against me.

He'd kill you if I got out of line.

He is never kind.

He killed your home and he threatens my own.

I don't work for him out of choice.

When I speak it's in a controlled voice.

He can't know how I really feel.

If he did my fate, and yours, would be sealed.

My only comfort is my ximphara stones.

Just a small piece of home.

My focus points, my only capability of control over my latent telepathy.

I'd rather not be plagued by others' inane thoughts.

If I were I would swiftly lose all self control.

Telling off an evil overlord that can kill you within an instant isn't good for your health.

Nor is breaking down in front of a traitorous, backstabbing crew.

I can't declare my love to the heavens for all to hear.

There is far too much to fear.

Mind over heart, pain over bliss.

How did I get into this?

I didn't want to be Frieza's right-hand man.

I tried to avoid it with everything I had.

I couldn't though.

I'm too smart.

Too strong.

Too talented in my capabilities of dealing death to be trusted without being watched.

So I'm trapped.

He has made certain that I know I don't compare to him even by half.

Fighting him would be my death.

I tried once, just once before I understood.

I was only 17 at the time, a rather young age to be second in command.

He beat me so bloody I couldn't stand.

He whipped me, threw me through a wall.

Scarred me and made it obvious what he would do if I dared to make him angry again-

A fate worse than death.

I fear him, yet I will not let him touch you.

I would not sacrifice my love for my fear.

I would rather disappear.

I put on a mask, I hide my distress, I hide my hate, I hide my love.

If I let down that mask will you think me a fool?

A "fickle nymph" as everyone chooses to call us? To call me?

Would you throw me away or cherish me?

Do you even care for me?

Would you tear from me?

Is my love for you true?

Do you feel it too?

Wish me well or bear me ill…

I can do nothing about my love with my skills.

Will you let me get to know you?

So I know if my love is misplaced?

Though from my mind you could never be erased.

I feel so trapped here in space.

Isn't that an irony?

Space is freedom from planet and ties, cultural controlling lives.

Yet I feel trapped, stuck in a cage.

Do you feel that same rage?

Are we similar enough to be almost as one?

Yet different enough to make the love fun?

Would you ever dare be with me, or I with you?

What am I to do?

This nymph loves you so…

My heart wants to cry.

Sometimes I feel as if I will die.

Raditz, could you ever love a once-arrogant nymph?

Could you ever forgive me for watching the death of your home and doing nothing?

Could you forgive me for being a coward and a fool?

A seemingly cold-hearted arrogant tool?

Long after Frieza's last word, and long after Dodoria's last drink,

Would you see me shrink?

Would you love and hold close a nymph by then, free?

Would it be just you and me?

So many questions and no answers.

I can only wait and watch, and hope my heart won't stop.

Even if every time I see you it drops, making me forget everything else.

Making me lose almost all sense of self.

"Love at first sight is as true as the water is blue."

Is it so for you and I?

Or am I doomed to forever cry?

Are you meant to be my köriim, and I yours?

I don't know, but I hope so.

I hope the waters aren't gray, or green, or some color obscene.

I hope my love for you is true, and that you will come to love me too.

I wish I knew today, but if not that's okay.

Just let me know at some point.

So I know whether to let you go or follow.

Raditz, saiyan of long hair,

To me you are fair.

Such pride, such kindness, it shows in how you carry yourself.

Meanwhile I must focus on stealth.

You can speak your mind and I may not.

I hope you are never in the position of power in which I'm caught.

I hope you are never this distraught.

So speak a kind word,

Whisper to me softly.

Tell me the truth about any feelings you may have freely.

This nymph loves you even if you do not love him.

I will not push you, I will respect you.

You are everything to me, I would not see you reduced to nothing.

I love you because of your pride, your ease, your kindness, your strength, your beauty, and that smile…

Without any of it you would not be you.

You would not be the one who has stolen my heart from me.

You would not be the very first person I fell in love with the moment I saw you.

You would not be Raditz, warrior and son of Bardock and Tora.

You would not be the one I hope will be

My köriim.

I love you Raditz.

Do you love this little nymph, Zarbon, too?

II

V Review please?