I don't remember much from my years away. It's all foggy, mostly haze, a few clear pictures of people weeping or smiling. I'll never forget the look on Data's face when they announced that I was dead, though.

To everyone else, it would have looked expressionless, I know. But to me, it said a million things at once, and more. I wonder what happened to him. The whole crew must be much older. I hear that the Enterprise-D was crashed and unable to salvage, but the same senior crew is still together on her successor, the E.

I'm in a small ship, on my way to rendezvous with the Enterprise, who knows nothing so far. They probably expect some crazy admiral coming for a surprise inspection, or an unexpected rotation of crew members. Goodness knows, they don't expect me.

You see, when that thing killed me, it didn't. Not really. It created a type of stasis that works from inside my body to out. Basically it shut off all my bodily functions, bringing them back to life for a split second every once in a while, just enough to keep me alive. Don't ask me how it works, I don't know.

I was found by a civilian Federation ship in my proton torpedo casing, standard of a Starfleet burial. They would have left it, except that their sensors detected life signs. A lot of things happened after that, and it all ended in me being revived. I explained what had happened, and requested to be taken to the Enterprise.

So, here I was. Ready to face a crew, their captain and a certain android lieutenant commander with whom I'd had a very odd relationship. They'd all thought I was dead, and filed me away with the rest of their memories of loved ones. Or, at least I hoped they had.

My hands shook as the shuttle docked. The gate dropped, and I felt as though my whole body was jumping about out of control, though when I looked down, I realized that I wasn't moving. The pilot, a gentle, young Bajoran woman smiled at me, and I returned it shakily, standing uneasily and making my way down the platform.

At the bottom stood Captain Picard, and the expression on his face was priceless for a split second. Then the diplomatic mask slipped back on, along with a slight hint of an inner anger that I knew burned much brighter than he would allow to be seen. But I was oblivious. What had I done? Why was he unhappy to see me?

I was going to face him down, find out in what way I had sinned to upset him so, because I'd never been one to back down, but he spoke before I could do anything. "Well, this is a... surprise, Sela."

My brow crinkled. "If I may inquire, who is Sela, Captain?"

His expression went absolutely shocked for a split second, and then he regained control of himself. "What do you want? And why the game." He seemed tired of whoever he thought he was speaking too, as well as mad, as though she had caused him great emotional pain.

"Captain... I have no idea who Sela is. It's me." I stood a little straighter, and in an extremely old-fashioned show of respect for authority, saluted him, and dropped my arms to my sides in a rigid at-attention pose.

"Lieutenant Tasha Yar, reporting on board, sir!"

* * *

I think Captain Picard almost cried when he realized it wasn't a hoax, and everything had been explained to him. We spent a lot of time just talking, chatting, and catching me up on everything, especially who the mysterious Sela was. Let's just say I was shocked, and not too happy when I learned.

Captain Picard might have called it something else. Like, maybe, hysterical.

After talking, I wanted to see how my friends were doing. The captain accepted my wish for the announcement to be post-poned, and allowed me to talk quietly to my friends, first. I desperately wanted to go talk and talk and talk with Deanna, but I knew there was something else I had to do first.

And that is why I ended up knocking, somewhat hesitantly, I might add, on Lieutenant Commander Data's door, Captain Picard at my side, though far enough back to allow us some privacy. He'd insisted on accompanying me, saying that he didn't want people stopping us and asking me questions. And it was true, we'd gotten some funny looks, and more than a few double-takes.

But the strangest look, and the longest double-take came when Data opened his door.

He was neat, his hair combed just the way I remembered, his posture ram-rod straight, as always, his expression professional, obviously expecting to find someone needing his expertise on his doorstep. He was holding a cat, but somehow, that didn't seem to detract from his distant demeanor.

But all that changed so quickly that I almost didn't notice it. In the space of a heartbeat, his eyes went wide, teared up a little, and his posture dropped a little in utter astonishment. "Tasha?" He breathed.

Then he composed himself as best as he could, and turned to the captain, ignoring me completely. "I apologize, Captain. If you could explain..." He trailed off, another habit that I'd never seen him use in my time on the ship.

Data was obviously expecting the captain to come up with some bizarre reason as to why he and Sela had showed up on his doorstep, but the captain did nothing except nod, and respond in the same soft voice with which Data had first spoken. "It's her, Data."

I abruptly found myself being looked over with the shocked eyes of the newly emotional-ized eyes of the most amazing being on the ship. When he met my eyes, tears were streaming down both of our faces, and his gray eyes seemed deeper, perhaps more human than the last time I had met them, so many years ago.

Although I had tried to prepare myself, I was still shocked by the depth of the emotions behind this man-machine. The last time I had seen him, he had been struggling desperately with humanity, but had, sadly, been more machine than man. That was no longer the case. Not at all.

I found myself being crushed in a bone-squeezing hug, and though I resisted instinctively for a second, it soon felt too natural to let go, and I relaxed into Data's arms.

Captain Picard interrupted us after a long moment, and nodded at Data before returning his attention to me. "Tasha, I've gotten a spare room made for you. It's on deck three, number nineteen. Commander, can I trust that you will show her there when you are done talking?"

Data nodded, his cheeks wet with the tears that had surprised me so much. "Of course, Captain."

Then the captain broke a rare smile, and hugged me once before departing. "I missed you, Tasha," He said. "And if you want to stay here, I would love nothing more."

I smiled back. "Thank you, Captain," I replied softly. "Very much." He nodded, and walked quickly down the hallway. I looked at Data.

"Please, come in." He showed me to the couch, where we both sat, and talked into the hours of the night.

* * *

In the morning, I went to meet with my other friends, the rest of the senior crew, and there were hugs and tears, and oh, so much joy. I couldn't remember being happier, and it had been so long since I had seen my friends. Deanna and I made plans to get together and visit and talk, which seemed to be all I had been doing since I'd come back, but I didn't mind.

Riker greeted me with a broad smile and gentle hug. They all knew about my reservations regarding being touched, but I simply couldn't seem to mind. He only meant to be kind. So, I allowed it.

Later that day, I realized that the only hug I had relaxed completely into, allowing myself to be absorbed by it, was Data's. I thought about it for only a long moment, afterwards filing it away, along with other thoughts non-relevant to the moment. Hoping it would stay that way.

Slowly, I was re-integrated into the group, taking a temporary, rather unimportant post in security, at which I had always excelled. I had been offered the post as Chief of Security again, but I explained that I was rusty, and wanted to just be one of the guys for a while before being in command again.

The fiery Klingon that I'd admired so much, Worf, was gone, and I was told he was serving on Deep Space Nine. When Deanna went on to explain about K'Ehlyr, Alexander, and Jadzia, I got sad, realizing how much of my friend's lives I had missed. I'd liked Worf, a lot, and I would have liked to help him through those difficulties. We understood each other.

Deanna and Will seemed to be slowly, but surely, gravitating back towards each other. It was hard to miss, even if Deanna was denying that it was anything serious. And I saw the way her face lit up when I mentioned him. I might have been gone for over a decade, but I wasn't blind.

In my absence, the captain and Doctor Crusher seemed to have moved away from each other, which I thought was too bad, but equally none of my business, so I didn't comment. Several weeks later, I had pieced together most of the common gossip into a coherent piece to form the assumption that they'd tried it about seven years after my 'death', but things hadn't worked out.

Data was alone. I felt bad for him, but jealously satisfied. It made me mad to realize that what I had once regarded as an innocent crush, and then a short fling, never to be dealt with again, had turned into such an important figure in my life.

I didn't wish him to be unhappy, of course. It was just that... there had always been something between us. I'm not going to say from the moment we met, because that would be too cheesy, not to mention untrue, but as I had learned about the incredible being he was, I had slowly and surely fallen for him.

I never regretted that night under the influence of the disease.

* * *

I'd been back aboard for two months, and though I wasn't officially a member of the senior officers anymore, the captain let me sit in on briefings, and for the most part, I never noticed. My free time was little, but what there was of it, was commonly spent playing poker with the doctor, Will, Deanna, Data and Geordi. I usually lost.

Data was hosting the team of intrepid card-players one night, and I'd come, played, and lost, as usual. They were all gone, and we were alone, I was helping him to clean up his quarters.

Most of the crew was in high spirits, and I got the impression that Will and Deanna were both slightly under the influence, perhaps not by synthehol, either. They seemed more relaxed than I'd seen either in a long while.

Spot was crawling around my feet, rubbing on my legs, purring and begging to be petted. As a child in the awful place I'd grown up, I'd never let myself become attached to anyone or anything, except for this one cat. And I still like cats.

I reached down and picked up the noisy tabby, scooping her under my chin, and rubbing my neck against hers. She purred harder, and I could feel her body vibrating.

Data entered the room silently from my left, but I ignored his presence, enjoying what was quite possibly the first cat I'd held since my first posting on the Enterprise, who knows how many years ago. Spot, for her part, didn't seem too upset.

I could see her owner out of the corner of my eye, and I noticed that he was just standing there, observing us, not saying or doing anything. Slowly, I shifted Spot's weight onto one arm, and motioned Data closer.

He moved slowly, seemingly aware of the mood of the room, making not a sound as he boots fell softly on the carpet. I placed Spot gently on the floor, where she walked off to the couch, and curled up on the back, falling asleep almost immediately. I smiled.

Data reached me, and I surprised us both. I pulled him close, and into a strong hug. "Thank you," I whispered.

He didn't release me, though he looked slightly puzzled. "For what?" He asked.

"For helping me back into this crew, for making me more accepted. For... never looking at me like I was a freak of nature."

Data hugged me harder, and rubbed my back a little with his firm, strong hands. "Tasha..." He began. I looked up, and met his eyes, anxious to hear what he had to say.

Strained by an emotion with which I'd never before heard him deal with, he finished speaking. "You will never be a freak, Tasha. You are an incredibly special person."

My eyes felt wet, and I was surprised, because I don't cry. I can't remember the last time someone called me special. Maybe never. Maybe Darren, fifteen or more years ago. Either way, it meant an incredible amount to me, and suddenly my feelings just came to a head.

I tilted my head up, and captured his soft, alien lips in a soft, sweet embrace. He didn't respond at first, probably out of surprise, but then he began to move his lips against mine in a gentle kiss.

When he pulled away from me, neither of us spoke for a long moment. Then, realizing the late hour, I pulled slowly away from him. "Thank you, Data," I said, softly. He nodded, but didn't respond otherwise, and I smiled before walking out of the door.