"The evening sings in a voice of amber, the dawn is surely coming."
--Al Stewart

Chapter 11

I felt like hell the next day. Walking around all night, even with a makeshift crutch and brace, was bad for a freshly broken knee. And I was apparently completely unaware of this fact, because Okami felt the need to point it out to me four times before she gave me some bitter tea that knocked me out for hours, and did nothing to stop the pain I felt when I'd awakened. I'm pretty sure that its only function was to stop me from walking around. I was surprised that she didn't tie me up while I was out. It was probably a good thing that I didn't tell her the part about when I didn't use the crutch at all. She'd probably have killed me. She was pretty intimidating for such a little old lady.

After that, I spent most of my time avoiding the tea and being bored. I was pretty sure that in a week or so, I'd be up and around, at least doing guard duty or something functional, which would be a relief. I get restless when I can't do anything. And whether or not Okami liked it, Katsura would not waste men who could at least manage basic guard work. If I had a partner, I'd be able to do it as soon as I could properly stand without falling over. And given that both Kenshin and I had been assigned extra guard work as punishment for our impertinence in front of Okubo-san, I was already pretty sure that my partner would be able to more than compensate for my near uselessness. Because Katsura knew, I'm sure, that even though some of the other men had also defended Kenshin, that didn't mean that they'd be comfortable in his presence for hours at a time. Maybe Yuasa or Tsuji. I'd noticed those two hovering around him sometimes, and I was certain that they had spoken with Okubo on Kenshin's behalf. Definitely not Kano, even though, surprisingly, he had also been one of Kenshin's four defenders.

There was a soft knock at the door. My boredom-glazed eyes snapped into focus. A visitor? Thank god.

It was probably Yuasa. He'd visited me early that morning to make sure I was alive, and had promised to return later sometime when his shift was completed.

"Come in," I responded, my voice crackling slightly. I was thirsty, and my throat was dry. But I stubbornly refused to drink any of the tea that Okami had provided. I preferred conscious thirst to being vulnerably unconscious for half the day. Maybe I was being as paranoid as Kano. Though after the events of the past few days, I was starting to understand a little of his paranoia.

The door slid open, and he slipped inside, shutting the door behind him.

It wasn't Yuasa.

Kenshin stood awkwardly in front of the door as though uncertain as to what he should do next.

After a long moment of silence, I asked, "Was there something you needed, Battousai-san? Did Katsura-san send you?"

"No. I…" He seemed to be at a loss. "I came to see how you were doing." Still no eye contact.

"You're visiting me?" I couldn't hide the surprise in my voice.

"You pushed yourself hard last night…" His answer was quiet and sharp. Not cold, but certainly not leaving me space to be flattered.

I was anyway. "So," I prompted, "you came to visit me?" I had to fight a grin that was threatening to show as he awkwardly stood there another moment. I doubted he visited comrades frequently. I honestly did feel privileged.

Finally, he replied softly. Honestly. "Yes. To see how you're doing…"

He's nervous, I realized with surprise.

I smiled at him, trying to put him at ease. Lightly, I commented, "Battousai-san… it's just me, you know. I won't bite. This isn't any different than last night." Though it was. We weren't at death's door. And there was distance between us again. Though apparently not quite so much as I had feared.

He glanced up finally. Not quite looking at me. But close. His face was expressionless. But, I noted, he didn't have Battousai's shuttered eyes either. He wasn't quite as guarded as usual. His defenses were up again, even for me. But I could still see the boy in his face, too. I could deal with that. I was fine with having to back up ten steps for the three I'd made forward. Because the fact was that I wasn't so far back anymore. I could see him better. And even if he wanted to block me out completely, he'd never be able to change the fact that I knew him now. Even if only a little. And that was enough for me to keep fighting for him. I could be as stubborn as he was. If I had to wait until the kid was thirty to get through to him… I could handle that. As long as I got through.

And it was nice finally being able to consider the idea that he'd make it that long without breaking. Or carelessly dying. It was a slim chance. But it was there.

He was still standing there with that blank look on his face, so I gently added, "There's no protocol here."

"I know that," he responded firmly.

I seriously doubted he had.

"You can sit, Battousai-san."

He didn't move. I'm sure if it were anyone other than Kenshin, he'd have been to the point of fidgeting by now. Of course, if it were anyone else, he probably would have just sat himself down ages ago.

"I didn't come to stay," he replied, his voice softening a touch. A bit of the cold flat look fading from his expression. "I just wanted to check on you." He paused uncomfortably. "How is your knee, Ushiro-san?"

I shrugged. "It hurts, but I'll get over it. It's better than last night."

"You shouldn't have strained it so much."

A short laugh escaped me. I quirked my eyebrow in amusement. "Are you scolding me, Battousai-san?"

He bristled. "No." He ran his fingers along the hilt of his katana. "I'm just telling the truth… The doctor says you're lucky you didn't do worse damage."

I blinked back at him. "You talked to my doctor?"

He ignored the question, continuing as though I hadn't spoken. "According to the doctor, if you're careful, you should be able to walk again soon, with a brace for awhile, of course…" He winced a little, adding softly, "… and a limp." There was a very long pause before he quietly added, "I am sorry for that, Ushiro-san."

I chuckled, startling him into finally making eye contact. "Forget it, Battousai-san. I'd be dead if you hadn't covered Okita for me."

He didn't look convinced.

I sighed. "Kenshin, maybe you've never noticed, but I've always had a bit of a limp. Broke my leg when I was a kid. That's one of the reasons I don't rely on speed." Smiling faintly, I added, "Maybe my legs will balance each other out now. You might have done me a favor." At his irritated glare, I added, just for the personal entertainment of watching him glower, "Besides, it'll add character."

He didn't take the bait. "It will slow you more, Ushiro-san," he responded flatly. "It could get you killed." This was really bothering him. I stopped teasing.

Gently, I said, "So, you'll cover me. You're good at that. Relax."

I apparently managed to take him by surprise. He blinked back at me in apparent confusion. "I'll… cover you?"

"You know. When we run missions together. That's when speed will matter, anyway. I mean, when would I ever need to be a fast guard? I can manage that without help, I think."

He was staring at me as though I had completely lost my mind. "After all of this…" he said slowly, as though giving himself an extra moment or two to process this. "After all of this, you would work with me again?" He shook his head. "I'm sure that in light of the past few days, Katsura-san would understand--"

"I requested it, Battousai-san," I replied softly. "I asked Katsura to put us together. He agreed." I grinned at him. "Because for some odd reason, most of the others don't want to work with you anyway."

"I don't understand."

I shrugged. "Neither did Katsura, and I didn't try very hard to explain it to him either." I paused a moment, studying him. "You know," I added, "for being such a smart kid, there sure seems to be a lot that you don't understand."

Kenshin didn't react, so I dropped the cocky attitude and added gently, "Look, if you don't want to work together again, then tell me. I'd understand. I can just go back to Katsura-san. Or you could talk to him if you want." I paused, trying to think of the right words for what I wanted to say, without making it sound too ridiculous. "I just… thought we worked pretty well together…"

He blinked up at me, his blue eyes confused. Frustrated at his inability to understand what he apparently considered my harebrained ideas. But his eyes were distinctly Kenshin's. Not Battousai's at all.

So, I tried one last ditch attempt to break through by adding, "Well, besides the part where I thought you froze, and I pulled you from lead… And that other part when I abandoned our charge and let him die. Oh, and that thing where you thought I was a traitor, and tried to kill me…"

He flinched a little, but didn't shut down. Shocking, but I think he actually got that I was joking there. Shaking his head, he muttered, "You're crazy, Ushiro-san. You know that, right?"

I smirked. "So I've heard." I watched him carefully. His guard had slipped in that moment, but he was already rectifying that situation. No more eye contact. Still and unreadable once again. I tried one more time, anyway. Leave it to me to push things to the brink. "Are you sure, you don't want to sit, Battousai-san? We could share some of Okami's famous drugged tea."

"I have guard work," he responded tightly. Battousai once more. "I just wanted to be sure you were okay. I should go." He nodded his head briefly, and slid the door open again. Then, pausing in the doorway, he added softly, in a voice somewhere between the child he should be and the tired man, old beyond his years, that we were turning him into. "Get well, Ushiro-san." Though his back was toward me, I could almost hear the gentle smile creeping back into his voice. "I'll be sure to ask Nozomi-san to bring you some tea." He glanced back, the faint smile I'd imagined tugging at his lips for just a moment, as he added, "She's good at switching the cups on Okami."

At that, he turned and left, leaving me to my boredom once more.

But at least I could, if nothing else, worry less about him for awhile. He'd be all right.

I closed my eyes and leaned back against the wall, thinking about him a few moments longer. That kid was funny. Grand gestures and big words meant nothing to him. Praise seemed to annoy him. Gratitude discomforted him. But the smallest, most insignificant things seemed to be what drew him. Smiling and laughing at him. Teasing him. Tormenting him. Stupid little things that you did to anyone.

What he responded best to was being treated like he was no one special. Just treating him like everyone else.

I smiled faintly.

I could do that.

"Now there was a faint suggestion of color...--not yet warm and flaming reds and yellows but cold tints of amethyst and amber. The dawn was coming"

--Jerome A. Hart

New Author's Note: Though I promised an Epilogue, I'm going to have to change plans here. This chapter is officially the final chapter of "Amethyst and Amber". The chapter I had written as an epilogue was meant to bridge this story and "Out of Time". However, the chapter didn't work well with this story. On the plus side, the chapter meant to be the epilogue is now Chapter One of "Amethyst and Amber"'s sequel, "Crossroads", which I'm posting as we speak. The new fic is a continuation of this one, six months later, set during the events of "Out of Time", only from Ushiro's point of view. The idea was ironically suggested to me by a reviewer only a few days after I'd started considering the it, myself.

Thanks for humoring me. And thanks for reading. It's been a trip, and you've been wonderful reviewers! Hopefully I'll see you again.

Dewa mata.

Sirius

Author's Note 2: Per the usual: Big thanks to lolo popoki, sueb262, and Shirou Shinjin for their beta work.