Disclaimer (since it's been so long): Rurouni Kenshin is owned by its respective owners, of which I am not one. No copyright infringement intended.

Warnings: None.

Between ruining dinner with her teetering emotions and the subsequent thoughts running rampant in her head, Kaoru found herself wide awake at three in the morning. Tossing and turning didn't help. Neither did beating her pillow into submission until it lay limp and forlorn. Kaoru sighed, her eyes settling on the moonlight filtering in through the blinds. The soft, silvery glow partially illuminated her room, throwing shadows in the corner where the beams didn't reach.

Sano's comment about Kenshin had sent a tide of emotions through her. Shock that he would actually give up his oh-so-important career, confusion as to what caused him to give up his oh-so-important career, and worst of all, hope. Hope that he gave it up for her.

But if he did, why wasn't he coming to her? Even if he didn't want her back - which seemed doubtful considering the amount of time he spent hovering around her - he could at least have told her about his change of heart. And Kaoru would be happy for him that he had finally given up on something that was very obviously killing him on the inside, little by little.

She considered the idea that both Megumi and Misao had vehemently vetoed earlier in the bathroom of the Akabeko where she had taken refuge with her friends to calm herself. Maybe she had been expecting too much in assuming he should come to her. Maybe she should take the first step instead.

Her friends had instantly opposed the suggestion. "No way should you give into him, Kaoru," Misao had said firmly. "He left you. If he wants you back badly enough, he'll do the crawling and groveling."

"Weasel-girl's right," Megumi had added. "If you run to him now, Kenshin will always expect you to give in first."

"But what if he wants me to run to him this one time?" Kaoru protested. "To show that I'm willing to talk?"

Misao and Megumi exchanged knowing looks of two women who had gone through the exact same situation before. "If that's what he really thinks, then he's more of an idiot than we realized," Misao had replied.

Kaoru groaned out loud in frustration. Her friends were no help. Kenshin was no help. Her brain was no help. With a heavy sigh, she threw the covers off and climbed out of bed, stepping into her house slippers before shuffling to the kitchen. There, she flicked on the lights and went hunting in her cupboard for some tea. When in doubt, turn to the comfort of warm, soothing liquid.

But when her fingers grasped the box, Kaoru realized it was empty. She groaned again. Tonight had been the longest dinner of her life and of course she was out of tea.

It only took a few minutes to stomp back to her bedroom and change into some comfortable sweats suitable for a quick run to the all night convenience store a block away. "Don't think about Kenshin, don't think about Kenshin," she chanted to herself under her breath as she stepped out of her apartment building and down the street. A few nighttime loiterers shot her an odd look as she passed by them, but she ignored it. Her sanity was at stake and she didn't mind a few weird glances if she could keep it intact.

Setting a brisk pace, it only took her eight minutes to reach the tiny mart located under a separate apartment building. The bright fluorescent lights of the store welcomed her inside and Kaoru quickly found what she needed. Paying for the tea, she clutched her precious prize to her chest and trotted back to her apartment.

Keeping her mind purposefully blank, Kaoru inhaled the fresh air, glad she had thrown on a sweatshirt to ward off the chill. Summer seemed a distant memory and the change of weather from fall into full-blown winter hovered on the brink. The full moon pierced the sleeping city with sharp rays, illuminating the welcoming path back home.

It was then Kaoru suddenly realized one of the shadows had been following her ever since she left the store. A quick glance behind told her it wasn't him. That would have been too easy. Besides, she doubted even Kenshin – devoted stalker that he was – would be up this late, watching her.

A second look over her shoulder confirmed the presence of one of the men who had lingered outside her apartment. He'd most likely followed her to the convenience store. "Why didn't I bring my bokken?" Kaoru muttered to herself as she increased her speed subtly and hoped that her new stalker didn't notice. Fear, strong and sour, surged through her body as she heard the footsteps behind her picking up speed, echoing closer.

Why, oh why did these things happen to her? Heaping the blame on Kenshin would have been a nice option; after all, it was his fault she was so distracted. But Kaoru knew better than to walk out in the dead of night unarmed, even for a quick errand.

Abandoning all pretense of not noticing her new, unwelcome stalker, Kaoru broke into a dead run, hoping to make it inside her apartment building before he caught up with her. But she had underestimated how close he was to her. A strong hand grabbed her wrist, flung her around, and shoved her into a convenient alleyway.

This is the last time I ever make a tea run in the middle of the night again.

Kenshin watched the apartment building, his expression schooled into an impassive mask that might have earned the admiration of Aoshi had he been around to see it. But it was past three in the morning, far too early for anyone to be up. The only exception was a few night time drifters loitering near the entrance of the all-night convenience store.

He had dismissed them after briefly assessing their threat potential. Old habits died hard, and he still had a few enemies alive, no doubt swearing their vengeance against him. A smirk curved the corners of his lips upwards; they could try.

The restless spirit that had hauled him from his semi-comfortable bed stirred inside him again, causing Kenshin to shift his weight from one foot to the other in an attempt to appease the familiar feeling. It called him to act, to do something instead of stand outside her window yet again. But after what had he seen last night, it was time to stop this nonsense. Tonight, he would watch her for the last time before disappearing for good. He recalled the tears in Kaoru's eyes glittering like sharp diamonds. She had cried in front of her friends. In front of everyone in the restaurant. It was enough to make even his pitiful excuse for a heart crack in pain. He wasn't technically even in her life and he was still making her weep.

Kenshin could only remember her crying once in the three years they had dated. It was the night he had made The Mistake and Left Her. She had cried then too, silently. He had seen the tears but didn't do anything except turn and walk away. He had been helpless to comfort her, too lost in his own cowardice. So he had turned tail and ran.

Just as he was about to do so now, for the last time. After what had happened during dinner, he couldn't bear her tears any longer. Kaoru was a woman meant to smile, to love, to nurture. She needed someone who could bring out those qualities in her. What she didn't need was a stained man, still too useless to dry her tears. Still too weak to admit failure.

He was wrenched out of his thoughts as a familiar ki bore down in his direction without hesitation. Straightening up, Kenshin tensed as a tall figure approached with measured, unhurried steps. Moonlight slanted down on them, bright enough to reflect the dark eyes assessing him. Casually, Kenshin pulled his hands free from his pockets and reached behind him to touch the sword, sheathed at his back and covered by his jacket, in reassurance. He sensed no malice in his unwanted guest, but one never knew. "Sano," he said in greeting.

Sanosuke stopped a few feet away and glanced towards Kaoru's apartment building before looking back at his old friend. "Never knew stalking was a full time job," he commented off-handedly. "You put even the most devoted of followers to shame."

Kenshin snorted, relaxing his stance at the teasing. Settling back against the lamp post, he resumed his watch over the building. "You were waiting for me?"

"I figured you might have trouble sleeping after you watched Kaoru cry at the restaurant." Sano shrugged, though the motion was mostly hidden in the dark. "So, yeah, I waited. Wanted to, ya know, have a talk with you."

Kenshin breathed in deeply, his body tensing for a different reason this time. "About what?" he asked, striving for a calm tone.

"Don't give me that innocent crap, Kenshin." This time, Sano's voice held an accusatory note. "I didn't tell you it wasn't too late just so you could play with her heart, you know."

Kenshin narrowed his eyes, turning to face the taller man. He didn't like Sano's implication that he was merely toying with Kaoru and deliberately causing her pain. "Don't start something you can't finish, Sagara," he said coldly. "You're treading a thin line."

Sano didn't even flinch at the golden eyes burning angrily at him. "What about you? You're the one giving the Missy all sorts of ideas by hanging around her day and night. If you don't intend to try and get her back, then let her go. She's already gone through enough without you manipulating her emotions."

Kenshin had to force his body to remain still else he would attack Sano, and gladly. Anger surged through his body as his expression tightened. "You are this close to death. I suggest you leave before I forget my vow," he said through clenched teeth.

The ex-fighter didn't look too impressed by the threat. In fact, he stuffed his hands into his trouser pockets and adopted a slouched, lazy posture. "What I don't understand is, if you still love her that much, why don't you talk to her already?"

The calm tone and matter-of-fact question threw Kenshin off-balance and he stared as Sano. "What?"

"Any man who's vowed to never kill again for the sake of a woman has to love her. Not to mention the sakabatou you traded in for your original sword. The question is, why are you keeping her waiting?"

"How did you find out about that?" Kenshin demanded, ignoring his question.

Sano rolled his eyes. "Come on, Kenshin. You're talking to Zanza here. I've got enough contacts in the underground to make the yakuza jealous." He smirked. "Which they are, by the way."

"I didn't tell anyone about my decision," he replied tersely, watching his former friend carefully for any sign of subterfuge.

"Didn't you? What about the man who made your weird-but-interesting weapon?"

Shaku. He was going to kill the swordsmith for blabbing what was supposed to be a private matter. That is, he would kill him if he hadn't made a vow not to take anymore lives. "I should have known," Kenshin growled, kicking himself for his loose lips. "Shaku couldn't keep his mouth shut even if you stapled and glued it together!"

"Oooor he works for the police." Sano winced as he saw golden eyes flaring up at that bit of news and held his hands up in surrender. "Hey, don't look at me that way. You're the one who approached him." He shrugged. "Only Saitou and I know what's going on with you right now. But rumors will start flying soon, anyway. People are going to notice you're missing."

Kenshin grimaced. Sano was right, of course, but it still rankled to hear that someone like Shaku Arai, whom he entrusted with a deep secret, was actually working for the police as an informant. Was everyone he came in contact with doing that these days?

"Anyway, you're avoiding my question, Kenshin. Why, after going through so many measures to cut ties with your old life, haven't you talked to the Missy yet? You have to know she's been waiting for you, right? I mean, not even you can be that clueless!" Sano guffawed at the outrageous thought but then his mirth slowly faded as he eyed the shorter man's stunned expression. "Uh, Kenshin?"

"She's been waiting for me?" Kenshin repeated incredulously.

Sano's jaw dropped open patent disbelief and it took a few tries before words actually emerged from his throat. "Are you serious? Haven't you noticed her looking around constantly, the open windows, the lack of her presence at the police station?" He gestured wildly to emphasize the clues.

Kenshin had noticed, but… "I knew she sensed my presence, the window was merely a stupid risk she took, and it's not like she works for the police, so why would she spend time at the station?" He narrowed his eyes as the thought occurred to him. "Or does she as well?"

"No, no," the taller man said hastily. "Kaoru is still Kaoru." He sighed, raking a hand through his hair so that it stood up even more. "Look, Kenshin, she's been waiting all these months for you to go talk to her. So go talk. I mean, you'll probably have to do a lot of begging and pleading to even start making up for what you did but besides that, what do you have to lose?"

His stomach clenched at the mere thought of being close enough to her to touch her. His soul cried out for her presence to somehow smooth the ragged edges of his being. Kenshin swallowed hard, trying to get past the lump in his throat. "What if I hurt her again?" he asked, surprised to hear how hoarse he sounded. "I can't … keep doing that to her."

Sano hesitated before slowly putting a hand on the former assassin's shoulder as if expecting to be flung back against the wall for the gesture. "So don't hurt her. At least, not on purpose. Because if you do, I'll kick your ass."

The former assassin gazed up at his old friend, the lump in his throat slowly dissolving. "Don't hurt her on purpose," Kenshin repeated slowly, as if testing the words out.

Breaking out into a wide grin, Sano nodded as if the red-head finally solved the greatest mystery of all time. "Exactly! All she wanted was you. And maybe for you to stop killing people. Just love her like you've always done and protect her with all that you are. Not as Battousai the manslayer but as Himura Kenshin. The man she fell in love with. The man I'm proud to acknowledge as my friend."

Kenshin pondered that idea, wondering if it really was as simple as Sano had stated. "Is that possible?" he wondered out loud. "I've been Battousai for so long."

The other man shrugged but didn't looked too concerned. "Well, you took the first step already. There's only one way to find out how the rest of it goes. The Missy went out for a tea run a minute before you showed up. She should be on her way back now. No time like the present to tell someone you still care, eh?"

He wished he had Sano's confidence. A part of Kenshin wanted to run away before Kaoru appeared and he had to finally admit his Mistake in Leaving Her. Another part of him wanted to run to her and find solace in her arms. Kenshin took a deep breath to steady his nerves and to clear his mind. "Sano?"

The brown-haired man tilted his head. "Yeah?"

Kenshin turned to face him, looking directly into his chocolate eyes. "Why are you doing this? Why are you helping me with Kaoru? Why aren't the others upset at my presence? I know they know I'm around."

The ex-fighter blinked at the questions before a lazy grin curled his lips upwards. "Because Kaoru loves you more than I've ever seen her love anyone," he said. "Because apparently she can only be happy with you, and it's just a bonus you happen to feel the same way. Because the others see that as well, and we all agree that being happy together is better than being unhappy apart. And because, Kenshin, you're our friend. You always have been, and you always will." Sano paused as if considering his words, and nodded as if to confirm the rightness of them. Then he added, "But that doesn't mean we'll stay quiet if you hurt Kaoru again. And I mean it, Kenshin. This is your last chance. Don't mess it up or you really will be the stupidest man in Japan."

And with that encouraging pronouncement, Sano ambled away.

Kenshin stared after his friend, dizzy from the unexpected words. Friends? He and Sano were once close but that had been ages ago. As he grew older, training eventually took precedence over human companionship and he eventually gave everything up to concentrate on his swordsmanship. Coming to Tokyo, he met up with Sano again, met other good people, but eventually found a use for his training in the criminal underground. His master had been so disgusted with his choice he had disowned Kenshin, informing his pupil in no uncertain terms that should he show up again on the mountain, he would die a painful death.

And then Kaoru entered his life.

With her love and patience, Kenshin had almost given his assassin career up. But the pull to the sword, to kill, to the thrill of lording power over someone was much stronger. Looking back now, he didn't know how that was possible. How could something that only gave him fleeting pleasure measure against the steady love Kaoru offered?

All he could admit to was fear. His job as an assassin was an adrenaline rush and familiar. He knew every aspect of it, enjoyed the dangerous cat-and-mouse games he played with his target and even with the police. But with Kaoru, he was in uncharted territory. Kenshin was constantly afraid he would do or say something wrong and overcompensated by trying to buy her love. That, of course, hadn't worked out well and the inevitable confrontation between them happened. In the end, when he was forced to make a choice, Kenshin was too much of a coward to choose what he wanted in favor of something safe.

He was at a crossroad in his life once more. There were little crossroads and big ones. The first big one was his choice of profession. The second one was whether to choose his profession or Kaoru.

This was the third one. But Kenshin had no intention of making the same mistake twice.

He waited a few minutes, peering down the street for any sign of Kaoru. But when she didn't appear, Kenshin wondered if Sano had been mistaken. But then again, if she was only going for tea to the all night market at the next block over, she should have been back by now. Kaoru's neighborhood was usually safe enough, but at this time of night, anything could happen.

Trying not to let anxiety consume him, Kenshin decided to trace the steps Kaoru would have taken to the store. If he met her along the way, he could assuage his concern and walk her back. They'd have to talk, of course, and he wasn't quite sure he was ready to do so. But he was also willing to take Sano's advice to heart that Kaoru had been waiting for him and was prepared to hear him out.

The idea that he could be back in her life for good, for as long as she would have him, quickened his steps. He suddenly felt absurdly eager to meet her. Kenshin knew it would be a hard road back into her good graces, but all he needed was a chance. He would do anything to make it up to her.

But he couldn't help but let his body tense with worry when he didn't encounter Kaoru even halfway to the mart. Unless she decided to do her entire grocery shopping for the week, it shouldn't have taken her this long to return.

Kenshin felt the flare of a strong ki almost the same time he heard a faint scuffling sound up ahead. The dark opening of an alley loomed ahead and he dashed the last four feet to peer in. There was another sound, this time a dull thud, followed by a low groan. "And stay down!" a feminine voice ordered.

"Kaoru!" he called, desperately willing his eyes to adjust into the darkness quicker. Heedless of the danger, he stepped into the alleyway and scanned the narrow corridor for any sign of her.

Something warm ran into him and Kenshin automatically grasped the person by the arms. There was a gasp and the same woman's voice who spoke not ten seconds ago came out tentative and disbelieving. "Kenshin?"

Relief from sheer panic made him tighten his grip even more at the familiar tone. He almost sagged against her and then gathered her close, feeling her wheeze from pressure as he relished the feel of her body against his. Once he was convinced that she was real and in his arms, Kenshin finally pulled back a few inches. "Are you all right?" he demanded.

"I'm- I'm fine," she said, her tone faint and eyes wide. A groan behind her had them both peering in that direction, but whoever it was remained unmoving otherwise. Kenshin released her and brushed by to make sure the thug was completely out, but then a warm hand caught his elbow. "I'm okay," she repeated, meeting his gaze. "Leave him alone. He'll wake up with a big headache in the morning, which should teach him a lesson."

Kenshin would have rather taught the assailant a more painful lesson, but he acquiesced to her wishes. As long as she was safe, that was all that mattered. "He didn't hurt you?" he asked, wondering if he should haul her to the nearest emergency room for a checkup.

Kaoru shook her head. "No, he didn't have a chance to. I've been learning kempo and he was half-drunk so…" She shrugged, as if this was an everyday occurrence.

The idea that some drunken lout could have hurt her right under his nose caused Kenshin to clench his fists until his nails dug into the callouses of his palm. What good did it do to follow her around if he couldn't even protect her? Was he so immersed in his own misery that he couldn't pull his head out of the selfish pit of despair for one minute to ensure her safety?

As if she sensed his inner turmoil, Kaoru tugged on the elbow in her grasp. "Come on," she murmured and pulled him away from the alley. He went along willingly, still torn from self-loathing and taking action on her attacker. When they arrived in front of her apartment building, she finally let go and turned to face him.

The light was better here. Kenshin studied her intently, mesmerized at seeing her for the first time up close in years. Kaoru was one of those women, in his opinion, who never needed makeup to enhance her beauty. She still had flawless pale skin, the large, impossibly blue velvet eyes, the perky nose, the long dark tresses he loved to run through his fingers. Her sweatshirt couldn't hide the alluring, distinctly feminine figure, slender and firm. She was just the right height to lean her head against his shoulder and nestle into his body.

Kaoru, too, didn't look away as if she was staring at a ghost. Her eyes scrutinized every inch of his face, starting from his hair before moving onto his eyes, nose, scar, and lips. Finally, she stirred and slowly, hesitantly reached out. Her fingers stopped just inches from his cheek, hovering in a tantalizing manner. Kenshin didn't dare breathe. He silently begged her to close the distance between. After almost three years apart, he craved her gentle touch.

He yelped as strong fingers closed around his left cheek and squeezed. Hard. The irony didn't amuse him.

"OW! What was that for?" he demanded, pulling away and putting a hand on the offended cheek.

Kaoru braced her hands on her hips with a flat expression on her face. "So you are real. Well, it serves you right for taking so long to come to me, you jerk. But exactly when did you decide it was a brilliant idea to accost a woman in the middle of the night without warning? I've been waiting this long, a few more hours until dawn wouldn't have hurt!"

Kenshin blinked at her, mouth slightly agape. He hadn't expected a lecture.

She rolled her eyes, unimpressed with his bewilderment, and pushed past him to march up the front door. Unlocking it, Kaoru glanced behind her to the red-head still frozen in place. "Well, are you coming or not?"

The impatience edging her voice caused Kenshin to stir from his confusion-induced haze and followed her inside.

The walk up to Kaoru's apartment was quiet. She immediately clicked on a small table lamp and headed into the kitchen, setting some water to boil for tea. Kenshin lingered next to the couch in the living room, looking around. He had peeked through the balcony door a few times to make sure all was well, and he knew it hadn't changed much in the past three years. The room was still small and cramped, filled to the brim with furniture, mismatched but extremely comfortable sofa set. Two walls were covered with questionable artwork from Misao's during her I-want-to-be-a-famous-artist phase. Scattered around the bookshelves were cheap souvenirs collected from over the years, mostly from Megumi and Sano. They knew she wouldn't throw things away for fear of offending her friends and enjoyed getting her the most outrageous things for laughs. The room was cluttered but tidy, creating a welcoming warmth that reflected Kaoru herself.

He hadn't realized until now just how much he missed being here. He felt himself relaxing, soaking in the warmth she brought to the apartment with her very presence.

The whistle of the kettle interrupted his communion with the apartment. Kenshin took a deep breath to steady himself. He imagined Kaoru pouring the heated water into her cup with the tea she had never let go of, even while being attacked. In just a minute, they would be having the most difficult discussion of his life. He was not looking forward to it. In fact, a part of him still demanded that he crawl out the balcony and run far, far away. Preferably to the next country. Or across the world. Just as long he wasn't here, about to have a long talk about how stupid and afraid he was.

Kaoru appeared from the kitchen, carrying two mugs of steaming tea. She handed one to him and eased down on the sofa. Inhaling the rich jasmine scent, she blew across the surface to cool the liquid and took a tentative sip before sighing in contentment.

Kenshin stared at her. She had done the same thing countless times before, and yet seeing it again in person after so long made it hurt to even breathe.

Apparently, he was gawking too hard. Kaoru caught his gaze and raised a brow. "What?"

He blinked twice, suddenly feeling like a fifteen year old boy with a crush on the popular girl at school. "Uh, nothing." There was no way he was going to say that to her. That road only led to further embarrassment. He shifted his weight from foot to foot, trying to burn off some of the nervous energy thrumming through his body.

She slanted him a skeptical look but seemed willing to drop the subject. "All right. Are you going to sit down or do you want me to have a crick in my neck?"

A wry smile twisted his lips at the very tart, Kaoru-like question. Kenshin set the teacup down and settled himself at the other end of the couch. Kaoru didn't look amused by the distance between them but she curled her legs up underneath her and gazed at him expectantly. He stared back. He wasn't sure what to say and he was hoping - rather desperately - that she would start the conversation. But apparently, fate decided to make him earn his forgiveness. Kaoru merely watched him through the curl of steam from her cup.

Irritated with his cowardice, Kenshin shifted his position and glanced away. "Uh, how are you?" he mumbled.

Had he been looking at her, he would have noticed Kaoru roll her eyes. But he did hear her mutter something which suspiciously sounded like, "You have got to be kidding me." Out loud, she said, "Fine. You?"

"Good, good," he said, trying to muster some enthusiasm. But then words failed him again and he lapsed into silence, trying frantically to think of how to start his explanation and apology, something that wouldn't sound pathetic and broken.

"Kenshin," Kaoru said, a touch of impatience appearing in her voice. "You're the one who approached me, remember? Is there something you wanted to say?"

His gaze settled back on the woman on the other end of the couch. She was still dressed in bulky sweats and her hair was swept up in a careless ponytail. And yet, Kaoru couldn't have looked more perfect than she did now, illuminated by the lamp and surrounded by everything that made her unique. Even her behavior hadn't changed a bit, and Kenshin was absurdly glad for it. Deep blue eyes bore into him with unflinching steel, but gentleness lingered there as well.

He cleared his throat, wondering why it was suddenly so hard to swallow. Or breathe. Maybe he was coming down with some sort of illness. "Yes. Yes there is."

There was silence for a long moment before Kaoru prompted him again. This time, though, amusement colored her tone. "And what is that?"

Understanding now sparked her eyes and her expression softened. Kenshin took a deep breath, fighting back a wave of nausea from sheer nerves. It was now or never. He had chosen the road to walk, and now he had to begin his journey, for better or worse.

"Kaoru, I…" He stopped. Who knew it would be so hard to apologize for three years of hurt and tears and pain? But he refused to give in to his cowardice and forced himself to blurt it out. "I'm sorry," he said, lowering his eyes to the sofa. "I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm sorry I left, I'm sorry –" He choked on the words, and at the lump in his throat, stopping before he asphyxiated himself. Something wet fell on his cheek and rolled down to pool on his jeans. Were those tears leaking from his eyes? When was the last time he had cried?

"I forgive you."

Kenshin jerked his gaze up quickly at those calm words, blinking rapidly so his vision cleared. "You do?"

She nodded and unfolded her legs from beneath her. Setting her cup down on the coffee table, Kaoru moved closer to his end of the couch. "I do." She reached out to touch his left cheek, the one she had abused before. Her feather light touch made him shudder and he leaned into the caress almost instinctively. "So," Kaoru continued brightly as her hand dropped away to leave him bereft, "I'm about ready to go back to sleep. I've got work in a few hours and it's probably a good idea not to show up as a zombie. I'll get you a blanket from the closet and you can stretch out here for the night."

Kenshin blinked, dizzy from the sudden change of subject. "What?"

Standing up, she headed over to the linen closet where she pulled out a blanket. "I think I've got an extra pillow in here, too," she mumbled, her voice muffled as she continued digging further.

He wasn't sure exactly what happened. One moment, tears welled up in his eyes as he spoke a broken apology and the next moment, the woman who'd forgiven him so easily shoved him said blanket and pillow. "Uh, Kaoru?" he said hesitantly.

She paused in mid-stride, already halfway back to her room. Glancing over her shoulder, she raised an eyebrow. "What? You know where everything is if you need it."

Kenshin dumped the coverings on the couch and stood up. "Um, don't you want to talk about … it or something?" he asked hesitantly. Why wasn't she saying anything more? He didn't think he had enough nerve to put the 'discussion' off for another day. Was she deliberately trying to freak him out? If so, she was doing an extremely good job of it.

Kaoru turned around to face him completely. "I already heard what I needed to hear. The rest of it can come when you're ready." A gentle smile curved her lips, small but definitely there. "We'll take it one day at a time, all right? There's no need to rush and say everything in one night."

Her compassion and understanding stunned him. How could he have gotten so lucky to find a woman like her? There was no one else like her in the world.

He wanted to cry again but suppressed the sensation. Instead, Kenshin nodded and flashed his own half smile in return. "All right. Good night."

"Good night, Kenshin." Kaoru cast him one last linger look before she headed back into her room.

Kenshin slowly arranged the blanket and pillow to his liking before taking off his jacket and the sheathed sword strapped to his back. Draping the leather on the back of the couch and leaning the weapon within easy reach, he laid down on the sofa. He took a deep breath and exhaled, feeling peace and warmth and the scent of jasmine radiate into every pore of his body. And for the first time since he was a child, Kenshin fell asleep in peaceful slumber.

Kaoru stared up at the ceiling of her room. The moon had shifted position and the silvery beams now shone on her closet door. She figured dawn was only a few short hours away and she still hadn't gotten any sleep.

But could anyone blame her? "Kenshin," Kaoru whispered, still stunned at his sudden arrival. The burning, golden hue of his irises gleamed like a predator at the mouth of the alley, startling her just as she had dispatched the drunken stalker. At first, she thought it was her attacker's friend joining the party, but when steel-like arms encircled her in a shielding grasp and she caught a whiff of ginger, she knew exactly who it was.

And he was careful and protective and it sent a wave of sheer emotions through her: longing, disbelief, confusion, hope. Kaoru needed time to sort it out, needed to find some sort of steady ground before facing Kenshin and maybe trying to work things out between them. And finally, she had to hear everything from his own lips to convince her heart that this time, things would be different.

She rolled over to her side and stared at her wall. Why did he show up tonight of all nights? Had he seen her cry at the Akabeko? Most likely. Did he know what she and their friends had discussed during dinner? She didn't know how he would, but if anyone could figure it out, it would be Kenshin.

The important thing was, he had finally come. Kaoru wished he had chosen a better time, like when she was dressed up with some makeup on and her hair styled in something more elaborate than a ponytail. Of course he looked sinfully delicious, dressed in black skinny jeans, a gray v-neck, and a leather jacket. But besides being accosted at three in the morning, their interaction had gone better than she expected. It wasn't her dream reunion, but then again, with Kenshin involved, when had anything ever gone according to plan?

Kenshin had apologized. He seemed truly remorseful and the way he had stumbled over his words held a wealth of shaky emotions. He had always been a little stunted at dealing with strong feelings and Kaoru tried to accommodate for that because she knew he had always been sorely handicapped in that area.

Heaving another sigh, Kaoru rolled over into her stomach and buried her face in the limp pillow. Her nerves felt stretched thin and jittery she teetered between complete joy and the black hole of uncertainty. She didn't want to think of all the logistics involved in his re-emergence back to a regular life. There was so much to consider and figure out. In all her daydreams about Kenshin coming back into her life, she hadn't gone beyond what to do after the initial reunion.

But no, she couldn't think about that. For tonight, Kaoru would remain content in the knowledge that if she left her room, she'd see him there. She was tempted to peek out her door to make sure this wasn't a dream. But it wasn't, and the bruises on her arm reminded her of that fact. His contrite presence was far more than she expected, and yet exactly as she had hoped.

With that comforting thought, she finally fell asleep.

The discussion didn't quite happen the next day, nor the next. As Kaoru promised, they took each day at a time, re-learning everything about one another again, slowly and tentatively working out the steps in their relationship.

There were other, more grim things to deal with. Kenshin was still technically a wanted man with no hope of leniency for all the murders he committed. He would never be able to have a regular job, buy a house, or even go around in public places without fear of being caught. Kaoru constantly worried that he would disappear one day, not because he had left her, but because the government found out where he was and she would never see him again. Kenshin assured her he would be careful, but could he remain hidden forever? He seemed confident of evading capture, but she had no such optimism.

One hope lay in Sano trying to find and persuade a highly placed politician or a well-connected government official who had the power to pardon Kenshin, no doubt in exchange for dangerous and possibly immoral actions. But even committing sanctioned acts could damage his psyche further. For him to kill again, even for a so-called good cause, might drive Kenshin's soul into even more anguish and uncertainty. Kaoru wasn't sure it was worth the risk; it was yet another discussion to have if the possibility ever came up.

But in the meantime, Kenshin, she noticed, had shed more than his sword and bloody past. He remained as quiet and watchful as ever, but threw himself into learning how to be a better friend and person. Every genuine smile she caught was almost like a miracle. Kaoru wanted to cry the first time she heard him laugh at some lame joke Sano had told because it ran with sincerity and an ease that had never been present before. Megumi and Misao caught her eyes then and the three women had burst into laughter, much to the confusion of their respective partners.

Despite the future being so unclear, Kaoru decided to simply enjoy the time they had together. With her friends silently supporting them and Kenshin trying so hard to be the man he wanted to be, she would relish how different things were the second time around.

AN: I started this story in my twenties, when I was young and naive. It was originally supposed to end with a big bow tie full of romantic fluff. But now that I'm older and have more life experience, I couldn't bring myself to write a perfect romantic ending because it simply wouldn't be realistic. So I scrapped the original ending I intended and left it on a vague note since I couldn't find a good way to wrap it up otherwise.

But one thing I love about fan fiction is the opportunity to dream and hint at that happily ever after, even with the odds stacked against them. The writer in me demands the story must make sense, but the fan in me knows that Kaoru and Kenshin live in peace for the rest of their lives. They deserve it!

I appreciate all the die-hard RK fans who have stuck around to finally see this story completed. Better late than never, right?

Now, if only Paint My Love would just freaken write itself...