Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin and Star Wars is copyrighted by its respective owners, of which I am not one.
Warnings: AU. Mention of blood.
A short, lean, red-haired man stared down at the body of his most recent victim who had been cut down without so much a word. There was no remorse on the killer's face, having witnessed – and in fact caused – the same scene countless times before. The dead man, identified only by the name Sucho, had known he was marked for death, anyway; such was the life of a snitch. Once found out, traitors like him were no longer safe.
Rivulets of blood snaked from the lifeless shell before him, pooling around his feet. But the golden eyes didn't seem quite focused on it. Instead, the assassin Battousai merely stood there, his mind was preoccupied by another matter.
The kill was actually quite sloppy; blood was splattered all over the walls and floor and even on himself when normally he took pains to keep it neat and tidy. After all, someone would eventually have to clean it up. Why make more work for people?
He usually preferred to keep things orderly, even when killing.
But Battousai knew the reason for the unprecedented disarray. Every time he looked in any direction, with increasing frequency, all he could see were sapphire eyes staring at him. There was hurt, confusion, and anger there, all mingled into one as she opened her mouth to tell him …
To tell him that he was doomed to hell.
Abruptly, Battousai shook himself firmly from the memory; now was not the time to dwell on it. He had to leave before someone came in and found him like this. With a practiced snap of his wrist, he flicked off the blood from his chosen weapon, the sword. A bit archaic, perhaps, but he had always enjoyed the close and personal interaction with his victims.
Until someone had thrown his life into an uproar. His mind seized upon another memory with sadistic relish. Her horror and disappointment in him – in him – was like bitter poison.
Get a hold of yourself! Battousai commanded himself, fighting from the grasp of the painful memory. He was treading on dangerous ground; he should have left immediately after the kill. How long had he been standing here? I can't get distracted again. Stop thinking about her!
Too bad it was easier said than done.
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a clean cloth, wiping down his sword carefully. When he finished, he tossed it aside and fished out an oiled rag this time, running over the blade in a familiar gesture that calmed him. Comforted by the movements, he slid the sword back into its sheath and tucked the rag away for later use. Without another look at his unfortunate victim, Battousai casually strode out of the house, pausing only to wipe his boots free from blood on the welcome mat just outside the door. It wouldn't do to go outside and leave behind a trail.
He jolted to a stop two steps later, staring at the unexpected visitor. After moments of stretched silence between them, he finally nodded his head once. "Sano."
Sagara Sanosuke surveyed him briefly from his position at the broken gate bordering the property, apparently on his way to visit the occupant of the house. His expression melted from surprise into concern as he took in the Battousai's countenance. With his usual lack of tact, the taller man said bluntly, "You look like hell, Kenshin."
Hearing his given name broke a dam of memories from his mind; memories Battousai had carefully tried to lock up in the deepest recesses of his brain for the past two years. All of them contained the image of a woman with dark hair and the bluest eyes known to man. In some, she was laughing and teasing him, and in others, the disdain spoke volumes even when she didn't speak.
Unfamiliar emotions welled up inside him, overwhelming and quite uncomfortable. Battousai all but snarled, trying to cover up his confusion. "Don't call me that!"
Sano had to raise his brows at the particularly violent reaction. "All right, don't get your boxers all in a bunch." He lifted his chin to indicate the house the shorter man had just exited. "I suppose from your appearance Sucho is dead?"
Battousai was grateful for the change of subject. This he could talk about. Business. It left nothing to feelings. "He was a snitch," he said with an indifferent shrug.
"He offered us valuable information, but I never did like the creep. Though I'm dying to know what Saitou had over him to make him squeal." Sano shrugged, apparently feeling no remorse for the unfortunate victim either. "'Course, the Wolf's not going to be happy about this."
"How is she?" Battousai asked abruptly, not bothering to specify who; they both knew. And the moment the words left his mouth, he wanted to take his own sword and cut out his tongue with it. What on earth possessed him to ask such a stupid question? It wasn't even related to anything they were talking about!
Sano's expression hardened and Battousai knew the question wasn't welcomed by him either. "Stay away from her, Kenshin," he warned.
Idiot. Of course he would, did he look like a masochist? He had a hard enough time trying to contend with his memories of her. Nevertheless, curiosity took hold of him and he really wanted to know now. "Is she doing well?"
The taller man frowned and crossed his arms across his chest, noticing how Kenshin's voice softened ever so slightly as he spoke about her. Sano pointedly studied him for a long moment, as if judging whether or not he should say something. He finally relented with a, "She's fine. She's dating a nice guy who does all the usual romantic crap women want." He paused and furrowed his brow as if a thought suddenly occurred to him. "Actually, it's kinda sickening."
Battousai's heart – what was left of it, anyway – wilted. She was already dating someone? Of course, you blockhead, he told himself scornfully. It's been two years. What did you expect her to do, mope over you for the rest of her life? "It sounds like she's found the perfect guy," he managed to say in a steady voice, trying to hide the bitterness welling up from his shriveled heart.
Sano looked at him, a trace of pity in his chocolate brown eyes. "Yeah, well, we'll see. Sometimes I think she's just going out with him so the rest of us would stop nagging her."
There was an awkward pause. Battousai couldn't help a sigh from escaping. He and Sano had been friends from childhood, though they both diverged onto separate roads. Sano, once the best street fighter and all-around punk, was now firmly recruited as a police advisor. With his contacts from the underground, he could find out information more quickly than most officers and offered insight on what he liked to call the 'criminal mind'.
On the other hand, Battousai found his skills were much sought after by the very criminal elements Sano was now working against. He had fallen in and now couldn't climb out, even if he wanted to.
Liar, he told himself bluntly. One thing Battousai couldn't tolerate was hiding behind his emotions – or anything else. He could have left the killing business entirely, had a very good reason to do so. But it was now two years too late, even if he regretted the decision he made in the end.
Ah, he was lying to himself again. Of course, he regretted it. But it was too late and now Battousai could do nothing but continue in his damnable role.
Sano was watching him again, he realized. Though not known for his particularly brilliant mind, the taller man could be unusually perceptive at times, a fact that was hidden to even his closest friends. In fact, his next words shook Battousai.
"Ya know, Kenshin, I've never seen you so near your target after killing them. Your last three kills were pretty sloppy, too. It's almost like … you want to get caught."
The stark truth of Sano's words struck him speechless. Battousai couldn't even snap at Sano to stop calling him his given name. Instead, he stared at his former friend as the words floated around his mind. Do I want to get caught? If they catch me, they'll execute me. But isn't that better than living like this?
He refused to take his own life; it was the coward's way out. But if someone else killed him instead …
A humorless smile tugged on Battousai's lips. I have a death wish, he mused to himself. Who would have thought so?
Sano watched him warily, slightly alarmed by the detached expression on Kenshin's face and the cruel parody of a smile hovering on his mouth. "Uh … Kenshin? Is everything all right?" He knew something was wrong; it had gone wrong two years ago but until Kenshin admitted his mistake, nothing could be done.
The concerned tone sank into Battousai's thoughts and he jerked himself back to reality. "Yes, Sano. I'm fine." He searched for his usual impassive expression and finally found it. He could ponder the truth later; right now, he had to get out of here.
Except Sano was in front of him, blocking the exit route. Battousai frowned. As part of his job, Sano couldn't possibly allow him to walk away, not without trying to arrest him and bring him to justice. But Battousai was in no mood for a brawl, not with his mind jerking him around every two minutes with past memories. "Are we going to fight?"
The taller man stuck his hands into the pocket of his jeans and sighed regretfully. "If I don't even try and stop you, Saitou will chew me out. But Megs also told me that if I come home today with another broken bone, she's going to make me sleep on the couch for a month." A rueful grin lit his features, the same crooked smile Battousai remembered from their childhood. "And quite frankly, Megumi scares me more than ten Saitous."
Battousai lowered his head slightly so his long bangs covered his eyes. It was a good lie, but Sano could never fool him. Oh, he believed Megumi could be more frightening than even a wolf – a two year old memory conjured up the image of an elegant woman with a temper to match her beauty – but the doctor was astute enough to know that no amount of threatening would change Sano and his tendency to attract a fight. Still, Battousai was mentally exhausted and he knew the younger man was doing this as one last nod to their friendship from years past. He inclined his head to show his understanding and headed towards the gate.
Sano stepped aside and allowed the red-head to pass, watching him carefully. He loved his job and his new life far more than he ever imagined. Conversely, there was something quite pathetic about the infamous assassin Battousai now. As if he had nothing left to live for.
Sano thought about his life with Megumi and how he finally felt complete with her in his life. He could understand Kenshin's despondency. And even more, he saw the same reaction in Kaoru, though she was better at hiding it.
Two people, though in love, were torn apart because of different beliefs.
But weren't people able to change? Sano knew he had; no one from his former gang would have even imagined him ever working for the police.
So couldn't Battousai the manslayer change as well? He had a lot to answer for, but Sano couldn't help remember the old Kenshin from their childhood, before he became the infamous assassin. He deserved to be happy. And so did Kaoru. And it seemed the only way they could be truly happy was to be together.
"Kenshin."
The single word halted Battousai in his steps but he didn't turn around.
Sano took a deep breath. He wasn't one to meddle in people's affairs, but perhaps hitting rock bottom would change his old friend. This is for you both, he thought. Out loud, he said, "It's not too late to change. Just get your act together. If you need help, you know where to find me."
At his words, Battousai turned his head, his golden eyes burning a furious molten yellow. "I don't need your pity, Sagara," he hissed, his body vibrating with checked anger.
Sano met his gaze squarely, refusing to show any fear. "You can't help but pity someone who can't sink any lower than you, Kenshin. I should know. I was there, too, remember? As Zanza, angry at the world for being the way it was. Luckily, I had a good friend who helped me out of my idiocy. I promised him I'd return the favor some day and I think it's time to pay him back."
Battousai closed his eyes, fighting back the surge of unfamiliar emotions welling up inside. There was so much confusion and too many feelings bombarding him all at once that he was beginning to feel nauseous. The only thing he had left that he could cling on to was his pride.
So before that, too, was swept away in the tides of his mental breakdown, he left.
Eight months later
Kamiya Kaoru peeked over from the top of her book while trying to look as though she was engrossed in … whatever book she was reading. Or pretending to read, anyway. Unable to see more than a few feet away, she scowled and tried lifting her head up a little more while keeping her eyes seemingly glued to the page she had randomly opened to.
The only result of such an odd move was a snort of laughter coming from her right. "Kaoru, what in the world are you doing?" Makimachi Misao exclaimed. "You look like you're stretching your neck to imitate a giraffe." She glanced at the book in her friend's hand and added dryly, "And since when were you at all fascinated in how to stop smoking?"
That did it. Kaoru snapped the book shut and set it back in its place on the shelf. "I, uh … just thought I'd think of some more ideas on how to get Saitou to stop smoking," she said lamely.
Misao was watching her with a skeptical expression, arms crossed in front of her. "Uh huh, and I happen to have a million dollars stashed under my bed. What were you really doing?"
It wasn't fair that she could never fool Misao. Kaoru sighed and glanced around again, looking for a flash of red or gold anywhere. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you," she finally said.
"Try me. I hate to tell you this, Kao, but we're getting really worried about you. Again. First, you dump that cutie gaijin Dan Redwood and now you're acting even more paranoid than Yahiko seeing you in the kitchen. What's going on?"
Lovely. Her friends were discussing her sanity again. Why couldn't she find people who were content to leave things alone? Kaoru scowled again for the second time in five minutes. "I need some tea." Turning around, she nearly fell over as a flash of fiery red caught her peripheral vision.
With a stifled gasp, she spun in that direction and looked around frantically but it was gone. In its place was a fat, balding man who was leering at her from the science-fiction section.
Gross. Science-fiction. Guy who was wearing a shirt that proclaimed 'The Force Is Strong In This One' winking at her.
Behind her, Misao made a disgusted noise and grabbed Kaoru by the arm, dragging her off in the opposite direction. "What are you doing? If you want to flirt with a guy, at least choose someone who doesn't wear Yoda ears, for pete's sake!"
"But," Kaoru began.
"Tch! No more talking until we get you your precious tea. Then you're going to tell me exactly what has been going on in that brain of yours, got it?"
Trying to pry Misao's fingers off her arm was like trying to loosen a wad of gum from your shoes; it was impossible to do without damage. Despite her petite size, the younger girl had a grip stronger than most people would credit her for; Kaoru blamed it on the kunai weapons Misao trained in. So she gave up and allowed herself to be pulled from the bookstore to the best café in the mall.
Once inside, they ordered their respective teas – green for Misao and jasmine for Kaoru – they waited for their trays and went in search of a table. Finding one in the corner that faced the crowds of people strolling down the hall, Kaoru sat down to face the window while Misao obligingly took the seat with her back to the scene.
"Okay, now spill it," Misao commanded even before Kaoru could pour some tea into her cup. "I want to know what's going on."
Kaoru sighed and poured herself some tea, picking up the cup to inhale the breezy scent. "I'm surprised Megumi isn't here for the Inquisition, too" she said rather dryly.
"It's one of Sano's rare days off so they decided to catch a movie, just the two of them." Misao picked up her own teapot and tipped it so the hot liquid spilled into her cup. She set it down before leveling her gaze at the woman in front of her. "So it's just you and me."
Kaoru didn't say anything, instead staring out the window without moving. Her cup was still in her hand, all but forgotten. Misao frowned and said a little louder, "Helloooo! Anyone home? Kaoru?" Now getting alarmed, she waved a hand in front of her face.
Kaoru blinked and looked at Misao. "Huh, what?" She looked out the window again, her heart plummeting as she realized that what had caught her attention was gone again.
Make that who had caught her attention.
"Kaoru! For pete's sake, stop staring outside and look at me or I'm going to kecho kick you to the floor!" Misao said impatiently. "What is out there that could be so fascinating?"
Kaoru's gaze swept the crowds, searching for that familiar but elusive flash of red and gold. "Battousai," she said absently.
Misao stilled, her mind reeling from the unexpected name. "What did you say?" she whispered.
Kaoru was finally able to tear her gaze away from the people to offer her friend a small smile. "Battousai. That's what's been going on, Misao." She shifted in her chair and set the teacup down carefully so it wouldn't spill. "For three weeks now, I've been … seeing the same flashes of color everywhere I go. Red … and gold."
Red hair and gold eyes. The colors that had made Kaoru's former boyfriend so different from anyone else. The combination of colors Misao thought she would never see again.
Forcing her mind to slow its whirling, alarmed thoughts, she recovered from the news, even going so far as to wave her hand dismissively. "That could be just a coincidence, Kaoru. After all, three weeks ago was your … er, anniversary."
Kaoru smiled gently at her genki friend. Not only did her best friends pester her endlessly, they were also quite predictable in their responses. "I know. It's why I didn't mention anything." She didn't say anymore, instead picking up her cup to take a delicate sip of tea.
But the tranquility she projected didn't fool Misao. The younger woman studied her friend for a long while before saying slowly, "But you don't believe it's a coincidence." She wasn't sure what else to say. Why would Battousai come back after almost three years? Kaoru had made her feelings clear to him before he left; did he think she would suddenly change her mind and accept him back?
"Well, Misao, I know I'm not crazy, nor am I prone to exaggerations." Kaoru took another sip of her delicious tea, savoring the taste in her mouth. After she swallowed, she put the cup down before looking up to meet her friend's steady gaze. "What else does that leave?"
There was silence for a long moment while Misao digested this information. Chewing on her lower lip in thought, she finally said, "All right, Kaoru, let's assume that you're right and it is Ken- er, I mean Battousai is back." Clear cerulean eyes met steady azure ones. "How do you feel about it?"
Kaoru pursed her lips, expecting the question but unable to figure out a suitable answer. Finally opting for a half truth, she said, "I don't know. I can't be with someone like him, not if his indifferent attitude remains the same." But admit it, Kaoru, you want to see him again, regardless. No matter how deeply he hurt you or betrayed your trust, you still want to be with him.
It was a fact that had taken her nearly three years to realize and accept. It was still a struggle sometimes, trying to come to terms with her feelings, but Kaoru realized that the only way to get through the pain was to acknowledge the truth. Her love for Kenshin went far deeper than the usual emotion. There was a connection between them that wouldn't allow her to give up on him, not even after the choice he had made. Discovering and accepting that truth had helped her tremendously to get through the miserable years they had been apart.
Now, Kenshin was back. But for what purpose? Did he feel the way she did? Was he really stalking her? Kaoru felt no fear from his sudden reappearance though shame kept edging in on her emotions. Her friends had gone through so much to help her through the bad times and were the only constants in her life she could rely on. Yet, despite their support, Kaoru couldn't stop thinking about Kenshin.
Misao was watching her, an inscrutable expression on her face. Red-heads, she groused to herself. They're nothing but trouble! Out loud, she merely sighed and patted Kaoru on the hand. "I'm guessing there's a 'but' in there, right? Okay, so let's consider a hypothetical – and I stress the hypothetical – situation. Let's say Battousai just happened to give up his little life of crime and murder, showed the proper remorse, and went straight. You'd consider going back to him?" She paused. "Even though he lied to you and chose a career of killing people over being with you?"
Kaoru grimaced. When Misao put it that way, the idea of taking him back didn't seem like a smart idea. Kenshin's decision had made it very clear that he valued his despicable job over her. And she was a strong believer of truth in any kind of relationship, especially when it came to the opposite sex. But here she was, contemplating forgiving Kenshin for lying to her and breaking her heart. His desertion had nearly destroyed her the first time. Could she endure it again?
"Need I remind you that, at the time, his options were quite clear? He could go back to being a mass murderer and give up a fabulous, gorgeous, intelligent woman or he could choose to do the right thing by not killing people and keep said woman?" Misao continued. "Plus, he lied to you from the very beginning of the relationship about what he did for a living. Could you really trust a man like that and accept him back?"
It was a fair question and Kaoru could only oblige her friend with an honest answer. "I don't know," she admitted. "I would have to think long and hard about it but …"
Her trailing voice was all the answer the petite woman needed. Misao grimaced at the reply but she wasn't all that surprised. Kaoru had been completely devastated when Battousai left her, indicating her emotions were quite engaged. "Well, I guess that's that." Megumi was going to be thrilled when she heard this.
Kaoru felt the need to reassure her friend, knowing it wasn't quite the answer Misao was looking for. "But, as you said, it was a hypothetical scenario." She sighed and swished her tea around in the cup. "Like that would ever happen."
"Yeah."
They sat in silence for a long moment, each lost in their own thoughts. Finally, tired of feeling depressed and sorry for herself, Kaoru sat up straight and shot her a bright smile. "Look, let's forget this and go back shopping, all right? I mean, I'm probably imagining things. There are lots of things around here that are red and gold and my imagination is working overtime." She stood up and gathered her things. "Come on, I'm ready to hit the stores again, aren't you?"
Misao, knowing Kaoru wanted to drop the subject for now, willingly followed her lead and nodded, smiling as she rose from her chair. "All right, I'm yours to command!" She trailed after Kaoru but paused at the exit.
She thought she had just seen someone with blood-red hair and golden eyes from the corner of her eye, watching them. But when Misao whirled around to look, no one was there.
AN: My first of old stories that badly needs editing. However, I couldn't have done it without the help of my ever-patient beta Laegdin who took the time to wade through all the horrible mistakes I've made. I hope to actually finish this story before the year is out and work on my other old stuff that has been on hold forever. Check my profile for future updates. :)