Ache
by Lanie Kay-Aleese

Sequel to "Plants"

As always, I'm having a jolly time rewriting certain ideas that seemed to lack coherence in the fanfiction scheme...? Memory loss is SO popular for Kyou/Yuki fanfiction. So naturally I felt the urge to employ it. I cannot help but think that in this situation, it is appropriate - not just a random blow to the head - but then, I'm just a fangirl who writes what she actually would love to see happen in the show, so, there you go.

Now, what I wanted to point out was, this story is very much following "Plants", but it could be read alone. Even still, without the first half, the story should feel incomplete. I feel strongly that the two stories belong together... Like ice cream and cake... burgers and fries.

Summary: Kyou hates being weak. He hates Yuki. He hates the dress in his closet. He hates Akito for stealing his memory - and he hates himself for forgetting why. Sequel to PLANTS. Slash.

Rating: Pg-13. Slash - sensuality - violence - light incest.
Category: Angst/Romance
Pairing: Kyou/Yuki
Length: 1/3

All that Kyou could bring himself to remember was Yuki with tremulous grey eyes and cheeks flushed in the same shade of pink as cherry blossoms, because they'd had another fight.

Except... for some reason, that didn't feel like the right answer.

And Kyou didn't know what to think about that, about why he would have this vision of Yuki staring at him so passionately. And he wouldn't have had this illusion without there having been a reason in the first place. Certainly it wasn't an illusion. It was a memory, because he could distinctly remember the pain in his chest, from when Yuki had knocked the breath out of him. Even still, his thoughts crashed together in the odd way of jigsaw pieces forceably fitted together, even though they didn't properly belong. So Kyou slammed his fist against his wall and retreated to the roof and the endless, perfect sky.

It surprised him, because he knew it had been cloudy this morning. He just wasn't sure how he knew it. Because he didn't remember practicing his karate katta this morning. It was then when he actually looked around and not just at his feet, but at the busy world around him. The second time in the day, when Kyou went up to the roof, he looked at the sky, then, too. And it was the second time of the day.

All the noise in the world fell back, as Kyou sat down and surveyed the night. Like a filter of grainy silence had been carefully placed around the world, Kyou listened and imagined that he was in some new dimension. He laid back, his head comfortably resting on his arm, on the roof, on a cool fall evening. Slipping out of focus, Kyou found that the north star looked like a raindrop caught in the moment of colliding with a sable pool of water and diamonds. There was an explanation for it, reasonably, scientifically, but somehow it felt better to think that this star was more important than the other ones. Because it shone brighter. It isolated itself, with such a radiant glow.

It was glowing like Yuki's... Yuki's what?

Kyou tried to start the thought over. It was glowing like Yuki when he...Did anything?

Why would that stupid rat be coming to his thoughts at such a peaceful time? What had happened?

His body didn't feel much different. A little different, okay, but it was a good change. Kyou felt like he'd gotten good sleep for a month. He was cursed by the cat - and alongwith, it made him a light-sleeper. Another thing, he'd shaved roughly this morning, judging from the knicks that he couldn't exactly remember giving to himself.

Which was odd. Kyou knew better than to block out pain - Shishou had always told him to learn from his mistakes. Sowhat if he was brash and incorrigible sometimes? He still listened to Shishou and he did learn, some things, and this was one of him. Kyou remembered every single kick to the face that Yuki had ever thrown him.

Kyou's hand drifted to his face on its' own accord.

That damn rat. It was his fault. It was his fault for making something happen that Kyou couldn't even will himself to remember.

It all came down to that fact: He'd lost his memory. His memory must have been taken from him -- a humorous, impossible thought, except that Kyou knew it was possible. He'd seen it so many times and had felt a horrible fear in his chest, that maybe, it would happen to him as well.

And it had.

But... but why? Why would he want to lose his memory and be so confused? What was wrong with him?

Kyou became inexplicably confused again.

The sky was always so dark, and the roof so high from the ground. His stupor was so deep, that he hardly noticed himself returning to his room and collapsing onto his futon with a muffled yell. He'd been hypnotised. And he'd forgotten something very, very, important - he just couldn't remember this terrible thing that had brought him to wish his memories gone, forever - or, worse, - Kyou's eyes popped open and he turned his head to stare, horrified, at his wall - or worse, if Kyou hadn't wished this on himself at all. But something had happened, something so awful, that Akito couldn't bear him to remain in that way. That Akito had commanded his memories erased.

But Hatori wouldn't obey those orders. He'd stood up for Tohru. He'd dealt with the hurt from Kana. Kyou didn't really like Hatori one way or another, but the doctor wouldn't violate his mind. Hatori, of all people, knew to hold that sacred.


Unless it was something awful.

If Kyou really didn't want to live, maybe he would've wanted Hatori to steal his memories. He had to keep thinking this, because the other option was too great a betrayal - even for him, the most cursed of them all.

So it must've been terrible, because he didn't want that, he didn't want to be too weak to deal with his life ever.

Then the girly rat-boy had stumbled into the kitchen and into him. He was still half-asleep. He stood there unseeing, his face open and unguarded, and then he leaned into Kyou. Nervermind the feel of Yuki instinctively wrapping his arms around his shoulders (itdidnotfeelfamiliarintheLEAST), nevermind the fact that Shigure watched without a taunt(butwiththosepiercinggrayeyes). The middle pieces of a thousand-piece jigsaw puzzle swirled about in his head. This, too, irritated him, because he'd just finished his morning practice and meditation, and the moment he saw the bruising across the rat's face, all of that serenity vanished.

It wasn't concern, or anything. He didn't care about the damn rat, he just couldn't help but notice something he hadn't noticed yesterday night as they'd left the main house. The alabaster skin of Yuki's forehead had been cut open by a swipe at the eyebrow, like three lines aiming for... and there was the distinct ring of bruises in two other places, near the eye.

The left eye. Just like Hatori.

For some reason, Kyou felt a pang in his heart - chiding the cat, hating the cat, because this was his fault. Yuki had been hurt because of him. But then, he knew that it wasn't his doing, not directly at least; he knew that he hadn't directly caused the bruises, because he wasn't even strong enough to touch the rat. Except, there was one person, wasn't there? There was only one person who had ever scared Yuki - only one person who would be jealous of losing that control.

Kyou imagined himself placing down the cornerpiece to his jigsaw puzzle.

He'd guessed right, then. Akito had forced his amnesia. Akito had attacked Yuki. Akito. Akito.

In the midst of this horrible series of epiphanies, Kyou didn't realize that he'd breathed the name aloud. Yuki, however, snapped to consciousness and jumped from Kyou's shoulder in a single motion. He squinted at his hands, as if he'd been burned. Kyou scowled. But then, the rat looked up at him. He didn't smart off or anything, he just kind of watched.

It pissed him off, that he and the rat didn't end up fighting after that, because theyhated each other. And Kyou just wanted to hate the rat more than ever right now, and blame him for everything, but he couldn't. Because they were connected in this whole damn mess. Kyou could just tell from the way that the rat stood there, searching his eyes.

And at the end of second period, with the bell for class break ringing in his head, Kyou knew - without a doubt - that Yuki had lost something, too.


And now I shall speak with the outrageous accent of: the swedish chef.
"iff yuoo refeeoo i veell beke-a yuoo a ceke."