Disclaimer: Do not own RD or Robot Wars or Scrapheap Challenge or owt, and if you think I do you need a phyciatrist more than I do.

Right well here we are another new fic to replace Reflections, it's set right after Reflections and hope you all think its good, I wrote it ages ago and because I was so lazy in copying up Reflections I'm surprised I even got this far! Well read on and review my little non zombie readers...

Robot Wars – RD Style

Boredom

Cat yawned and opened his eyes, he smiled indulgently as he saw his official soul mate sat up in bed feeding their baby kitten… child He leaned over quietly and kissed her neck.

"Mmmm, morning." She greeted leaning back and kissing Cat gently.

"OW!" Cat and Kira parted and cried out simultaneously.

"Why'd you bite my lip?" Cat moaned, wiping his lip, a small bite of blood rubbing off onto his finger.

"Sorry Cat – She nipped me." Kira defended.

"Sorry – Didn't realise."

"How's she teething so fast?" Kira wondered allowed as she cradled Dani

"She's part feline, she's going to grow a bit quicker than monkeys."

"Oh yeah, I keep forgetting." Kira breathed sadly wondering if that meant Cat and Dani would have shorter life spans, but she didn't ask, and she knew she was never going to.

"We're getting company." Cat warned after a moment as the scent of curry wafted up his nose. Kira nodded and handed him Dani as she buttoned up her top.

Lister stomped in a few seconds later and flopped down onto the bunk next to Cat, Kira and Dani.

"I'm bored." He announced.

"How lovely for you Bud." Cat sighed as he rocked Dani. Groaning to himself as trans-am wheel arch nostrils and razor head approached the room.

"So this is where you're all skiving off to? Leave me and Kryten to do all the work around here?" Rimmer challenged the second his pompous face appeared round the doorway.

"What? Cataloguing the moss and fungus supplies?" Lister scoffed.

"You may mock Lister but someone has to do it – You ate all those curries before we even had a chance to log them… I can't believe you ate them all that quickly you know." Rimmer added in disbelief as he sat down in a chair, shaking his head.

"Hey I was in heaven – I went 7 weeks, 3 days and 17 hours without curry it was inhuman!" Lister defended.

"No bud, it was inhuman watching you eat it."

"Anyway Listy, what's the plan if you aren't going to make yourself useful?" Rimmer challenged sarcastically.

"Look, I don't know ok? I'm just mind numbingly bored."

"What about those puerile games you're always playing?"

"Hey with a woman and baby on board? Give me some credit… Besides, the unicycle broke."

"I wonder why!" Rimmer replied.

"It's not because of my weight." Lister insisted.

"Really? Then just call me Flibble!"

"Gus – I don't mind the games, I'd just prefer it if you didn't nick my tights to play that volley ball thing though." Kira interrupted, stopping another argument between Rimmer and Lister.

"Hey Mech-Head, what did we get from the last derelict? – Vids wise?"

"History Of Wallpapering Part 1 through to 26, Apollo 39 – Voyage To Venus, and the entire first series of a 20th century show hosted by Jeremy Clarkson sir." Kryten answered in "List Mode."

Rimmer let this information sink in, mulling over the comments said.

"Clarkson? Isn't he the car fanatic who invaded France in a self modified Porsche, complete with rocket launchers and "I hate Frenchies!" bumper stickers?"

"Errr yes sir."

"What happened to him?" Lister asked.

"After destroying several French car factories and the Louvre, he proceeded to the Eiffel Tower, which he blew up with his rocket launcher, however due to the speeds he was travelling at the time, and the wind direction the Eiffel Tower toppled in his direction, crushing him in his Porsche."

"Shame." Rimmer replied sadly. "Waste of a perfectly good car."

"Right… Fancy a duet Cat?" Lister asked, looking forward to another chance of proving that he was a better guitar player than Cat.

"Lister, if you even touch that guitar I'll tear off the strings and cut off your fingers with them." Rimmer warned, his voice deadly serious.

Lister sighed in an annoyed and laid back on the bed staring up at the ceiling.

"What's the Clarkson thing called then?" Kira asked as boredom began to eat away at her too.

"Robot Wars ma'am."

"Is it a dramatisation of the book by Natalie K Kershaw?"

"Errr no ma'am, It's a group of primitive robots who are controlled by humans and are forced to do degrading tasks for points, as well as smashing each other to bits and avoiding these bullies called 'House Robots.'" Kryten explained uncomfortably.

"Oh BRUTAL Krytes! Play the vid!" Lister cried excitedly.

"But sir – It's SICK!" Kryten objected with feeling.

"Now what did I say about that show we saw the other week about man made machines?" Lister said as if talking to a 5 year old.

"You mean that Scrapheap Challenge is meaningful entertainment and that the machinery was given a new lease of life by being made into things that play curling with Mini's?" Kryten recited in "Memory Mode."

"Yeah, just adapt that accordingly for this situation and put the vid on."

"Yeah bud, quit stalling – This is eating into valuable "Me" time. Cat whined as he gently unhooked Dani's growing claws from his hair.

"All time is "You" time in your world." Rimmer muttered sarcastically.

"And your point is?" Cat replied as the vid began to play.