Chapter 2: Let's Get Together and Kill Barney

"Okee-dokee, children," Barney said. "We met Thomas Edison. Now what do you want to do?"

"Go home and watch That 70's Show," one kid said.

"Drink booze and get drunk," another kid said.

"Smoke," another kid said.

"Children, those are horrid things to do. You can do anything you want as long as you have IMAGINATION," Barney emphasized.

"Cut the imagination crap, Barney," one of the kids said. "We're tired. We've been on this damn set for over 13 years now! We're not little kids anymore!"

Barney notices that one of the kids is starting to develop facial hair. "Oopsie-doo! Look at all that hair!" Barney gasped. "Looks like somebody needs a haircut. Let's give him a haircut… in song," Barney said, preparing for a bizarre haircut musical. But the musical did not happen.

"GOT DAMN IT BARNEY, SHUT YOUR FRIGGIN ASS HOLE! IT'S A SIDEBURN!" the kid (or teen, should I say) yelled.

Ignoring the kid, Barney went over to another kid, whose shorts were drooping. "Pull up your shorts, sonny boy."

"Hail, no," the kid said.

"But I can see your whitie-tighties," Barney said.

The kid stood up and slapped Barney in the jaw. He fell over. "I've had it with you. You are a pain in the ass. I want to annihilate you. Who's with me?" he yelled. The kids cheered in agreement, "Kill Barney! Kill Barney! Kill Barney!"

Barney managed to get up and run toward the school. "Baby Bop! P.J.! Help me! Something's wrong with the kids!" he yelled.

"We're not kids!" the teens shouted.

Baby Bop and P.J. came out, also looking gay and retarded. "Settle down, everyone," Baby Bop said.

Just then, one of the kids pulled out a gun. "I've got a gun!" he shouted. "And all three of you gay dinos had better get your fat asses on the ground or I'll shoot!"

"Jimmy," started Barney, "violence is not the answer to our problems. I will teach it to you… in song," he began. However, Jimmy pulled the trigger and blasted Barney in the leg. "OW!" shouted Barney.

"Didn't think I was serious, did you?" Jimmy said.

Then, the rest of the teens grabbed knives and razor blades they had in their pockets the whole time. They sliced up Barney, Baby Bop, and P.J. Then, they ran from the school and were never seen again.