Disclaimer: I own nothing from the Shutterbox manga. And a note to this site: Thanks for finally making the Shutterbox category!
Unbalanced
I am... I don't know what I am, really. I know what I was, once. A long time ago. I had a life. A family. People I cared about. A brother who didn't detest me.
Once I was worth something. But now... what am I? What is my purpose? I think the worst part of it all is that I don't really care. I don't actually feel bad about anything. I don't regret. I don't worry. But there's still this nagging something missing from me. As though once, a long time ago, when we were cursed, and my conscience lost, something important was forcefully torn from me, and I was left eternally hating myself, but unable to truly understand why.
I remember watching cartoons in one life. One of those cartoons had a kid in it with a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other, both trying to tempt and teach him. Of course, I just laughed at the show, but now, while I have a moment of quiet, I can't help but wonder... am I missing both the devil and the angel, or just the angel? I don't know.
I suppose if I am anything I am unbalanced. A scale that should hold both good and evil, but is instead swaying madly, not by any particular weight, but just for my own amusement, when now and then, I feel like tipping the scales.
I don't get it. I don't get myself or anyone else. Why should I bother. It isn't like I could really care about it anyway. Even if I did want to. Which I don't. Can't.
I hate everything as a result.
I hate Kaa, because he has left me.
I hate my brother, because he has what I lost.
And, most important of all, I hate myself, because of what I am.
Unbalanced.
Author's Note: If you've never heard of "Shutterbox" it's an excellent manga that I strongly suggest you read! Great characters. I adore the twins Adrien (AJ) and Damien (Dane)... This fic is set from Dane's point of view after book 3. Thanks so much for reading. Please review!