Disclaimer: Don't own it

I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.—Gilda Radner

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The aftermath of tragedy effects different people in different ways, but the moment you are in it, the moment it happens to you, is always the same. Everything is just a surreal whorl of voices and faces and images in your head that you can't get out no matter how hard you try to forget them. Your world turns upside down in a matter of seconds, and it's at that point that you realize your life will never be the same.

Kai had experienced this feeling before; it was in no way new to him. Somehow, though, every time it happened resurfaced old feelings of fear and confusion. These were not Kai's trademark emotions, and every time they came about he always felt awkward, and could never figure out quite what to do with himself.

His mind was still replaying scenes from when it happened over and over again. Kai could see the bright lights of the ambulance, feel the heat of the flames still billowing from the abbey, hear the strange voices intermingled with a familiar one—Tyson's, maybe?—cutting through his consciousness. He knew he would never forget that day as long as he lived.

Flashback

Kai had remembered falling unconscious, Tyson's voice still ringing in his head, only to be brought back roughly to reality from the immense pain he experienced when the paramedics had tried to move him. Kai had experienced pain before, but nothing like this. His back was a mess of third degree burns, which normally wouldn't have caused him so much agony, as at least half of the time the nerve endings are destroyed, but obviously some of his were still intact.

Just the slight shift they had made in his position to try and lift him onto the stretcher had been enough to send knives of searing hot pain through his body. He had cried out sharply when they had rolled him onto his side, the sweet nothingness that had been his unconsciousness forcefully wrenched from his grasp. Suddenly a familiar presence was at his side, whispering words of encouragement. The someone grabbed his had, and even though the gesture hurt, as his hands were slightly burned as well, he did not pull away. He wouldn't have had then energy even if he had wanted to.

Kai opened his eyes as best he could, and could just make out Tyson's face sliding in and out of focus. He was crying, he could see, now that some of the haze had cleared from his eyes. Fat tears ran down the curves of his cheeks, leaving little trails behind them on his soot-stained face.

"Hey buddy, hangin' in there?" he asked, attempted humor lacing his words.

Kai didn't answer, instead focusing beyond Tyson. There was fire and smoke and ash everywhere. Frantic firemen, along with paramedics with stretchers in tow, scurried about the scene. Their movements were illuminated red from the burning building beside them as they gathered up as many injured as they could cram into an ambulance at one time. Static met his ears as they paged for more back-up, the screams of the dying melding into a sorrowful serenade in the background. Ash rained down on them like snow, black as an angry sea on a dark moon-less night.

One particular voice cut through all the noise and found it's way to Kai, shifting his tragic train of thought.

"Ken…ny?" he managed to rasp out, his voice hoarse from smoke inhalation. When had Kenny got here? Wait…when had Kenny even left?

Tyson's dirty face met his. "Kenny?" he repeated in a voice thick with tears. "Oh, yeah. He left a while back to go find help from the hospital. I don't even think any of us noticed him leave." He broke of when Kai fell into a weak coughing fit, the smoke that had lodged it's way into his throat burning horribly. Tyson's features filled with worry and fear.

"Kai, just hold on for a while, ok? We're gonna get you outta here soon. Can you do that for me?"

Kai ignored the question, his thoughts elsewhere. If Kenny was here, then where was everyone else? Suki? Tala? Max? Rei…? Was Rei even still alive? And what about….

"Steph?"

More tears found their way down Tyson's face. "I'm sorry, buddy, I'm so sorry."

At that moment every sound around him disappeared. All he could hear was white noise filling his ears. She was gone. And Rei might have gone right along with her. Desperately, Kai focused on their connection, the connection that had been formed through their bitbeasts. He felt the horrible sensation of it being cut in half, leaving him with a gaping hole. He had been hoping that maybe, somehow, she had made it out alive. He had known, however, from the moment her hand had slipped from his, that there would be no turning back.

It was all his fault. Everything….everything was because of him. And what about….Oh God, what about all the people that had been in the abbey at the time? All those children? Innocent children. All dead. Because of him.

Kai felt the tickle of salty tears tracing their way down the sides of his face, pulled by gravity. He was so sick of it. Sick of the pain and the loss, and sick of the feeling that no matter what happened to him, no matter how hard he tried, everything always turned out horribly wrong.

Kai closed his eyes, not even wanting to remain conscious anymore. He wanted to forget. He wanted to just go to sleep and wake up and not remember a thing. Knowing that was never going to happen tore him apart.

Finally, he couldn't take anymore, and let himself sink into oblivion, the sound of Tyson's voice still pleading with him to stay awake echoing in his ears.

End Flashback

They hadn't let him out of the hospital for two months. Half of that was spent on his stomach, as his back was too severely burned for any pressure to be applied unto it. Rei had nearly bled to death, but had been rushed to the ER just in time to be brought back. Tyson and Max experienced some third degree burns and minor smoke inhalation, but recovered quickly after seeing their parents, who had turned up outside the stadium in Japan with no recollection of anything that had happened after the world tournament. Suki had escaped with her left side badly blistered, leaving her with the painful, annoying, and downright disgusting sensation of having one of them pop every time she moved, and Tala had come out with a concussion. Stephania, of course, had not come out at all.

They had never found her body, not even her charred remains. Kai wasn't sure how that was even possible, and it left him with the overwhelming need for closure that he would never get. They had, however, found Voltaire's body, but he found he could really care less about having closure for his dead grandfather. All he needed was the piece of mind that the man would never be able to haunt him again.

Being bed-ridden in the hospital for eight weeks gave a person a lot of time to think, something that Kai had no desire to do, especially since he knew exactly where his mind would go if he allowed it to wander. It was made even longer since the doctors had to work long hours to clear him and Rei of the virus that Kenny had discovered was in their bodies.

The pain Kai had felt when he'd realized that she was really, truly gone, had been greater than any he had ever experienced. He hadn't even gotten to know her as well as he should of, and yet it felt like someone was ripping his heart out whenever he though about it. Just knowing that if he hadn't been around, if he had never existed, none of it would have ever happened. No one would have gotten hurt, no one would have…died. And it was then that he realized that everyone he had ever come into contact with would have been much better off if he had never existed.

His friends had consistently told him that what he was thinking was utterly ridiculous, that no one had held a gun to their heads the entire time, and that they had acted on their own accord. None of them had made him feel any less worthless.

Except, that is, one person, but then again, she always had had a way with making things seem a lot simpler than they actually were.

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Two figures stood in front of two matching headstones, one worn and eroded with time, one new and brightly shined, every detail etched into it completely visible. One figure, a girl, knelt down in between the two graves. She placed flowers on each of their bases and bowed respectfully. Then she turned her face, filled with grief, back up to the two headstones, her short black hair dancing around her face. She pulled her white woolen overcoat closer two her body when a cold wind blew over the cemetery as she observed the names delicately carved into the marble.

Anya Richelle Hiwatari 1973-1991

Stephania Aislinn Hiwatari 1989-2007

"You want to say goodbye, Kai?" she asked.

The boy, Kai, simply stared at the two slabs of rock blankly, his hands, unclenched, hanging at his sides.

"Don't know why they even gave her a headstone," he finally muttered. "It's not like there's a body under it."

"Closure?" the girl suggested.

Kai turned his gaze to her, his eyes no longer blank, but shining with emotions he hadn't used for a long time. "Why does this keep happening, Suki?" he whispered.

Suki shrugged. "It's life, I guess."

"Life is fucked up."

She half laughed at the comment, as it was the only semi-humorous thing he'd said in…well…forever.

"I shouldn't be here."

Suki looked up at him, slightly confused. "Why not? You're related to them."

"That's not what I meant, Suki."

She sighed heavily and stood up, turning to face him. "Stop it. Just stop it right now. Nobody blames you, Kai. Nobody. And I'm sure, if both of them were here right now, they'd say the same thing."

"They would be if—

Suddenly and surprisingly, before Kai could even react, Suki's arms were around him and her head was resting on his shoulder. Not quite sure what to do, he awkwardly stood with his arms at his sides, waiting for her to say something, a look of shock still fluttering across his face.

"We all did this for you, because we wanted to. Why can't you understand that? Your mother, Stephania, everyone, all did what they did because they wanted you to live and be happy. How are you going to do that if you think your life is worthless?"

She paused for a moment, and Kai got the weird feeling that she was crying.

"I don't want you to live like this anymore, Kai," she said, her voice heavy with emotion. "I want you to be happy for once, especially now that you actually have the chance to. Could you do that for me?"

She pulled away from him so she could look him in the eye. "And if not for me, do it for them, because they gave away their chance so you could have yours. Please."

She searched his face as she waited for an answer, looking for some sign that she had gotten through. But, instead of answering her flat out, he embraced her back, the most contact he'd had with anyone since his mother, and Suki knew she couldn't have asked for a better answer from him even if she tried.

They stayed like that for a while, before pulling away as it began to snow, little flakes catching on their hair and clothes. Kai turned back to the headstones, a powdery coat beginning to cover the ground before them.

"First snowfall of the season."

Kai turned to Suki, who was looking up at the sky.

"What?"

She tore her attention away from the snow that was dancing down from heaven and repeated, "It's the first snowfall of the season."

Kai looked upwards where Suki had been staring before. "Is it?"

"Uh huh. It's a sign."

"Oh really?" asked Kai, not looking away from the sky above him.

"Yep," she replied, grinning. "Signifies a new beginning."

Kai continued to stare at the gray sky, watching the snowflakes spin lazily toward the earth. He thought of his mother, who hadn't let him go until her dying breath. He thought of Rei, who had nearly given his life twice for him, just to see him live. He thought of Tyson, who had stood up to Voltaire more than once, something most would never dare to do. He thought of Suki, who dropped her perfect life with her adoptive parents to be with him. He thought of Max, who took his mind off his missing mother to come and help him. He thought of Kenny, whom without no one would never have even known about the deadly virus inside him. And he thought of Stephania, who he had never really known on a personal level because of his stubbornness, but had still been willing to run into a burning building and die for him.

"Yes," he agreed finally. "Yes, it most certainly does."

They lingered there silently afterwards before turning, Suki's arm slung over his shoulder, to walk back to the hotel. Back to friends, back to family. Back to the end of one story, and the start of another.

The End

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Thank you so much to all of my reviewers:

love-of-fire, Kai Hiwatari1, Bluefirespirit, bladz-liska, UnpReDiCtAbLE lIfE, Desastrus, Imbalanced Angel, jellybean-kitty, Lola Clarkson, Miako6, d1bontemp, kavbj, SchoolBoredom, Shadow Lunis, american farmer, MiseryWriter, Ray-Tiger-Cat, whyamidoingthis01, XSilentX-ShadowsX, Imbalanced Angel, DancerInTheDark101, A victim of your lies, Rael-Lirdu, geniecat2, Zephyr Blue, Izolda, Dark Kaiser, RoseOfSharon28, Thiendrah, Keight Ylonen, Miss Strange, Kais-lil-lover, Redemberx, NeoDarkcloud, Dawn of Daylight, Fire Pheonix2, BloOdY-JoKeR, Cailany, RetaroO, sasukeuchida10, xx SceneKid17, Mimicking Karma, LadyOfTheBluePhoenix, kris the ninja pirate, CucumberPickles, starfiredevil, FlamingWolfGirl, YuriyTalaIvanov, Shizuka-Yuki, Meira Evenstar, snappa, Glitter-Cat91, WaitingForYesterday, The Wicked Witch of Ding!, LonelyAngel90, blazingfire03, storm-of-insanity, Jani Rieme, Enigma, Starflare, Pickle Reviver, raven2547, Scyithe, Moi-inconnue, The Reaper in Shadows, A Darker Hufflepuff, BeyMistress05, PhoenixMeredy93, hurtinphoenix, kenthomas, Bruna Aguino, Satsukiyami, VGMaster04, Demi-goddess – Queen of OCs, Liah-chan

Special thanks goes to:

bladz-liska, who translated my story into Spanish, and leaves me nice long reviews ; )

RoseOfSharon28, who gave me someone to talk to when my dad died, and gave me someone to relate to personally, since she has lost her mother.

storm-of-insanity, who made me that pretty picture!

MiseryWriter, who inspired me at a time when I seriously thought I was going to give up on this fic.

Thanks also goes out to my regular reviewers. You know who you are. Thank you!

Also, because I've never heard of an author doing this and because I want to get to know my reviewers better, I thought I'd send you all a little survey that I'll have filled out when I get it, so you guys can learn a little about me too. If you want to, copy, paste, fill it out and send it back to me. If you don't want to then just ignore it or whatever. I really don't care.

It will just be like one of those email or myspace surveys you get sometimes. I just thought I'd be fun to do. Also, if you haven't reviewed and want me to send you one (though I don't know why you would) just PM me, and I'll send it to you.

Thank you everyone for sticking with me through this whole thing. Looking back on this story I can tell I've matured a lot since I first wrote the first chapter in my notebook one day on a whim. I'm glad all you guys came along for the ride, and I am really, very sad to see this story end.

Signed,

Rei, your Asian for every occasion