Author: Stephanie
Title: When It Rains
Pairing(s): Sirius/Remus (Side mentions of Lily/James, random one shots between Remus/OMC and Sirius/OFC)
Rating: PG-13 for language
Summary: Everything important in Remus's life happens when it rains.

When It Rains, Part I: In The Storm

It's raining the last time his father ever really smiles.

"I'll be back within an hour," John promises. He wipes nervously at his balding scalp before leaning over to ruffle his son's hair. Remus smiles back, swatting his father's hand away and giggling.

"You'll be okay?" His father asks for the fourth time in the last five minutes. He doesn't want to leave, but the Minister has sent an owl demanding to speak with him as soon as possible and John is in no position to refuse. He wants Rhea to be there, but she is off in Italy with her parents, and he doesn't know what to do with the number she had left him.

The small boy nods, picking at the design stitched into the overstuffed chair he was curled up in. He hums some tune his mother often sings for him under his breath and is not at all worried.

"I'll just be an hour," John repeats. "It won't be long," he promises. "Just have to go over some of the new werewolf legislation." He isn't sure why he was telling his son such a thing. Remus looks up at him, head crooked to the side. He is still smiling and humming and not bothered by his father's nervous babble.

"They don't like the new tracking tattoos," He explains. "The werewolves. The ministry thinks it's brilliant, of course. A wonderful bit of magic." Rhea says he frightens Remus with all his talk of werewolves and giants and other such monsters, but Remus likes to play Vampire with him, and John thinks it more likely that his wife is scared than his son.

"Mrs. Logan will be over in a minute," John says. He looks out the window for a sign of their Muggle neighbor. It is pouring down rain so thick he can't make out the light from the full moon. "I have to go now."

"Okay," Remus says, jumping off the chair to give his father a quick hug. "When you come back we should go swimming! I haven't been swimming all week." Remus makes a week sound like forever.

"We'll see." John leans down to ruffle Remus's hair. "Be good, okay Remy?"

Remus screws up his nose and sticks out his tongue. He hates that nickname. He hates it because his mom hates it. "It sounds French," She says, as though it's an insult to her Italian heritage. Remus looks a lot like his father, but when he wrinkles his noise John thinks of Rhea and chuckles.

John doesn't have any more time to wait for the sitter. "I'll be back in less than an hour," he promises. In what sounds like a clasp of thunder he's gone. Remus stares at the empty space his father was standing in seconds before and curls back up in his the seat he's been playing in earlier.

It gives him a perfect view of the dark, hunched figures prowling outside in the rain.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

It's raining the first time he gets on the Hogwarts Express.

Remus is scared and excited and overjoyed and terrified. On the car ride to King's Cross he makes his dad pull over so that he can throw up on the side of the road.

His mother is simply terrified. She spends the last two days before the trip hugging Remus, telling him how proud she is, and locking herself in her room. When he gets sick she wants John turn the car around. For the rest of the ride she sits in the back with her son, trying not to cry.

His dad is unreadable. "Rhea calm down," he says when she makes a grab for the clutch to swing the car in reverse. "It's going to be all right, Dumbledore said..."

Remus has heard more of Dumbledore opinions over the last few weeks than he has of his father's.

"You're wet," His mom is fussing over his hair as his dad tries to get his trunk into the train. Remus doesn't mind that he is the only one who needs help into the train or that his mother is nearly hysterical or that he is soaked through the bones. He is too amazed to be embarrassed or put off by any of this.

Remus had never seen so many people. There seem to be at least ten thousand, all running around trying to get aboard the train as quickly as possible without getting wet, and each as interesting to stare at as the last. There is a girl whose dreadlocks were each charmed a different color and another one in Muggle clothes with the trousers' legs so huge they seem to swallow her whole. Two boys dart past them, one waving a shaken looking kneazle above his head as the other screams and chases him down. Another boy is standing not far from Remus, his cheeks a bright red as his mother shoves a basket of sweets into his hands and smothers down his thin blond hair.

"I love you, Remus." His mom plants a sloppy kiss on his forehead.

John runs a hand through what little hair is left. It's completely gray now. No one says it, but it's Remus's fault. "Take care." Remus would give anything to be called 'Remy' at this moment, no matter how girlish the nickname sounds. Instead he gets a pat on the shoulder. "Listen to whatever Dumbledore says and be on your best behavior."

"Write us if you feel ill," his mother says. In the background a whistle blows. "I'll miss you so much."

Remus is a little embarrassed by the hug. Still, he hugs his mom back. "I'll miss you, too," he says as quickly as he can while still meaning it.

When he's finally on the train, waving goodbye to his parents through the window, he realizes just how wet he is, and he wonders if he should try changing into his school robes right then.

Before he can do anything, though, his compartment door is being swung opened and a face is popping in. The face is attached to a body, which is wearing a pair of emerald robes that don't look wet at all. "Hi," The boy says. The boy looks his age, but mostly dry and his clothes don't haves patch marks in the like Remus's do. His hair is black and short but still manages to look wild, like he had never combed it down in his life.

"You a first year?" Remus nods. "Anyone else in here?" Remus shakes his head. "Kay, then." The young boy turns around. "Come on, this one's almost empty!"

Before Remus can say anything there are people flooding in. Two girls and two boys pile in the compartment, chatting the whole time without much thought to Remus.

"I need to change," Remus tries to say over the talking. He suddenly feels very small and shy, like a downed mouse.

The first boy, the one with messy black hair, smiles. "Not a problem," He says, and before Remus can protest he's waving his wand and muttering something.

An odd feeling sweeps through Remus's stomach. He shivers and the feeling is gone, but the water dripping from his bangs isn't. One of the girls starts laughing. The others follow very quickly.

The young man blushes. "Ah..." He said, sticking his hand back in his pocket. "It worked for my dad, at least..."

Remus has a very bad feeling. He sees one of the girls pointing and reaches up to touch his face. Nothing feels different. His noise, eyes, mouth, and ears are still attached, but the other students are still laughing at him and Remus can feel his cheeks start to burn.

"I need to go," he mutters, looking at the ground as one of the girls squeals with delight at something the other boy says.

The young black haired boy stands between Remus and the door, but he's looking behind Remus at the two girls. "You two look a little wet," He says. The boy draws out his wand again, waving it in their general direction. "I could always try and give it another a whirl."

Before he has the chance both girls are up and running from the compartment, covering their faces as they make their exit. The boy who had said something about Remus earlier got up to follow, keeping his eyes on the black hair boy.

"No sense of humor," he mutters as he walks by. The first boy rolls his eyes, stepping on the back of the other's robes. He waits until the other boy has fallen face first into a group of screaming girls to slam the door.

"My names James Potter," the boy says.

"I'm Remus Lupin." He has an odd feeling in the pit of his stomach, a lot like what had happened when the boy had tried that spell out on him. He can't tell if it is a good or bad thing.

"Sorry about the... Err... coloring," James says. He bites his lips and tries not to smile. "I'm sure someone at the school can fix it. Hey, my mom packed me some chocolate frogs. You want a few?"

James and Remus became fast friends.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

It's raining during the first quidditch match.

It's Slytherin verse Gryffindor. Remus hates flying. It makes his stomach twist in weird ways. He only does it when he has to, and he couldn't imagine doing it for sport, especially not in the rain.

James makes him go, anyway.

"What's happening!" Remus shouts over the cheers and screams from the stands. He didn't really understand quidditch, and even if he did he can't see a single thing in the storm.

"Slytherin scored!" James shouts back. "We're still in lead, but Philips might still get the snitch!"

In the row in front of James and Remus and Peter (a small, mouse of a boy in their dorm who admire James like an older brother, hero, and father all rolled into one great package) is Sirius Black. James doesn't talk to Sirius because he says his family is of the worst sort. He warns Remus not to let it slip that his mom is a Muggle in front of him. "If his father had his way, there wouldn't be in Muggle borns or Half Bloods at Hogwarts," James says. So Remus makes sure to avoid this Black fellow.

The boy turns around, and through the rain Remus can see his eyes all a glow. "Watch this!" He shouts above the gale before straightening in his seat.

James and Remus exchange a look. Peter fidgets until he's almost hidden behind James and safe from Sirius's eyes. The three boys watch as Sirius draws his wand. It's impossible to hear what he's saying over the storm, but his eyes are fastened on the Slytherin section of the stands.

A gasp goes through the crowd. Remus tries to follow everyone else's pointing, but the rain in hitting his eyes and he can't make out anything more than vague shapes. He wipes his bangs out his eyes, shielding his vision from the storm enough that he can almost see two blurred figures diving downward. Down, down, down they go right over the Slytherin seats and - BOOM!

Most of the crowd screams. Remus doesn't, but he does nearly topple over and behind him Peter does both. The Slytherin side of the stadium has exploded in a mess of red and gold. Fireworks are whizzing around the quidditch field, and the entire Slytherin student body looks as though someone has drowned them in thick, gooey paint

Seconds later, Lauren Keller holds the golden snitch above her head. The paint covering the Slytherins are already starting to leak onto the field, staining the grass in Gryffindor colors.

Sirius looks behind his shoulder at Remus. "What did you think? Rather clever, huh?" He asks, and Remus doesn't think he sounds like someone who would hunts werewolves for fun.

James is doing a little dance in the stands. Most of the students are laughing. Teachers are hurrying over to the Slytherins to make sure everyone is safe. Gryffindors are hurrying down the stands to congratulate the team on their win. It's still raining, but no one seems to care.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Sometimes Remus wonders if it waits for the full moon to start to pour.

Madam Pomfrey has him wrapped up in enough blankets that he can't feel a single rain drop. "I want you to put them up high," She says. "In case it's raining on the way back." Remus agrees, but he knows that if they smell even ever so slightly of human it won't matter how high up they are.

She props open the trap door at the foot of the willow tree. "I have to hurry," she says. Remus nods again. It's the last night of this full moon and he just wants it over and done with.

"I'll be okay," he says, taking the trap door from her. She doesn't look convinced. Remus slips down the trap door as quickly as possible.

He takes a few steps before he hears the door shut behind him, followed by a light thud. He expects the Whomping Willow has woken back up and doesn't think to turn around until he hears his name being called. "Remus."

He knows that voice.

Remus swings around, dropping the blankets to the dirt. For a few seconds there is nothing there, then the sounds of fabric being brushed aside.

James is in the front, of course, eyes wide and glasses somewhat askew. He looks terrified, his mouth half open like he's trying to find words that aren't there. Sirius is right beside him, his handsome face twisted with something Remus just knows is disgust and it makes him want to pick up the blankets and hide himself away forever. Peter is behind the other two, too short to see very clearly in the dark passage way but Remus can almost smell the fear, and that makes him even more upset because he hates the idea of his friend being afraid of him even more than he hates the fact that they're all going to hate him.

"Remus…" James takes a small step forward. His mouth opens and closes a few more times. He can't find the words because there are none.

"Why didn't you-" Sirius sounds angry, and Remus can't help but let his mind flash back to what James had said about his family. He feels guilty the moment the thought crosses his mind. Sirius was not his family.

But just because he wasn't his family didn't mean he likes werewolves. No one likes werewolves. Remus knows that much.

"Get out," He cuts his friends off before they could say anything. He doesn't want to hear them and he doesn't want to explain. He wants to curl up in a ball and never move again. He wants to burry himself in blankets so the world can't see him. He wants to kill something, to rip out its throat and lick at its hot, warm blood, the soft body still moaning and trying to fight back beneath him.

"Remus... You..." James still seems to think he can say something to fix what has happened. Remus watched his mother try this tactic a hundred times before. He already knows how it will end.

"Get out!" Remus repeats himself, more frantically. This time something seems to get through. Peter yelps, his fists wrapping into James's sleeve.

"I think he's changing!" Peter squeaks and Remus wants to scream. Wants to jump at him and bite and rip and tear and it would feel so good right then, to have that boy's throat in his mouth.

"Right." James finally snaps out of it. He grabs Peter's hands, backing the two away slowly as if afraid that Remus will attack.

Remus is afraid of the same thing.

"We need to go." James pushes open the trap door and water pours in. Remus wants to feel the moonlight on his skin. He wants to taste something warm and still alive. He wants and needs, and with the last of his self control he runs, takes off for the shrieking shack as fast as he can, trying not to think about blood and meat and Sirius, standing just where he had left him with that look in his eyes.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

It rains all of the next week, too.

Remus tries to avoid them, and at first he does a fairly decent job. He sticks to the library and classes. He avoids anything that might be considered fun.

Of course, they eventually catch up with him.

Remus plans to go to the library, but he sees James standing around the exit just in time to turn around to make a hasty retreat. He knows he couldn't head back to the Gryffindor Tower, Sirius is most likely up there, and Peter is sure to be at the Great Hall. So he just takes off.

He marches out to the grounds without knowing where he's going. Without Madam Pomfrey's blankets or an umbrella over his head he is soaked through almost immediately. The water feels good against his skin, cooling the heat that had been bubbling up inside him. It's nice to be alone and not have to worry about James or Sirius or Peter coming to look for him. It's nice not to be anger at your best friends for finding out your secret.

This sanctuary lasts all of three minutes.

There's this myth that werewolves have better reaction times than 'normal' people. It's believed that they have super normal sense, the small blessing of a terrible curse.

Remus finds out that this isn't true when, without warning, he's being tackled to the ground.

He's not entirely sure what's happening. He lands on the ground with a soft thud, protected by the wet mud and grass. His hair is in his eyes along with the rain and wind and someone else hair and he has no idea what he's doing. For a moment he wonders if it's Snape, a Slytherin in their year that James is determined to pick a fight with at least once a day, but then there are fists in his side and he doesn't care who it is he is ready to fight back. He starts flailing and kicking and struggling under the weight that is crushing his chest.

He might die, he decides. He might die and Sirius and James and Peter wouldn't care.

"You're a fucking wanker, you know that?" The fists that are pounding against his skin let up. Remus is sputtering. He reaches up to brush his wet bangs away from his eyes. In the night with rain still pouring onto his face it's hard to make out much more that Sirius's scowl.

"Hell," Remus says, pushing against Sirius's chest to move him. "What did you do that for?"

"Because you're a giant fucking wanker," Sirius says it as though Remus should know this already. "And you needed some sense beaten into you."

As irrational as it is, that offends Remus. He had always thought of himself as the sensible one in the group, when there had been a group. He wasn't the one who was stalking after his friends in the dark and pouncing on them without warning.

"You're an idiot." Remus pushes against Sirius's chest again, squirming out from under the other boy as he does. Sirius stands up, letting Remus go free. Almost.

"You've been avoiding us," He says. Remus is walking back towards the castle and Sirius is right on his heels. "You've been treating us like we're Slytherins or something."

Remus isn't sure what to say. He's not even sure why he's so anger, only suddenly the rain is really annoying him and why was Sirius following him about like a lost puppy?

"Go away, Black." Sirius scowls and makes a grab for Remus's shoulder. Remus jerks away and ends up being boxed in the chest.

"Make me," Sirius dares him. They're facing each other now, Remus glaring and Sirius with a dangerous look on his face. "If you want me to leave you alone so bad than do something about it."

Remus struggles to find some sort of reply.

Sirius takes his silences as a sign that everything is better. He punches Remus on the shoulder, but this time it isn't meant to hurt. "There we go," he says. "See. It's all much easier if you just give me my way."

Remus raises an eyebrow. "What? Were you planning on stalking me if I kept ignoring you."

"Imprison you, is more like it. I was going to turn your pumpkin juice into Slytherin jizz," Sirius says, "so that you'd get sick and rush to the bathroom. I figured I could get you cornered in there."

Remus smiles. "You are an utter arse, Sirius Black."

"Least I'm not a giant wanker," Sirius retorts.

They walk back to the commons together, and everything seems better.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

It is raining the first time Remus gets kissed.

It's a month before end of term exams and everyone should have been outside enjoying their last free days before they have to start cramming. They should be, but they're not. Not in weather like this, and so all of Hogwarts is stuck inside the castle.

Not all of them. James and Sirius were at quidditch practice. James had made team in third year, and Sirius became a beater this year. Both of them mutter and complain about the whole ordeal, but were all too happy to spend their weekend flying around in a storm.

Peter is in the stands watching, even after Remus insists that he come study in the library with him.

"What's the worry," James says. "You'll just be meeting up with Connor for defense help, right, and that's the only thing Peter's good at anyway." Remus gives James a look that means Peter's education is more important than James having someone at practice to cheer him on. James doesn't get it.

"And divinations," Peter pips up.

James rolls his eyes. "But anyone can do go at divinations, Peter. All you have to do is pretend and talk about death and changing and stuff."

"I predict that Lallin will die of a panic attack if we don't get to the field soon," Sirius had said, twirling his brand new Comet around so that Remus and Peter constantly have to move to avoid being smacked.

"I predict that one day you'll change your underwear," Remus says before pinching his nose in disgust. "Obviously that day has yet to come."

James, Sirius, and Peter hurry off to quidditch practice and Remus has to gather his books and meet Adair Connor at the library.

"I think at least half the school is here." Connor is a Ravenclaw in their year. He asks Remus for help with defense against the dark arts after receiving a seven on his last paper. Remus, always one for any excuse to read up on his favorite subject, readily agrees.

"Professor Lupin," Sirius joked. "Always ready to help those more unfortunate then yourself."

"Seems like it, doesn't it," Remus replies, looking up from the textbook to glance around the library. Madam Pince is buzzing around a number of tables trying to quiet some of the groups of chatting students. So far she has done fairly well, but from the exhausted look on the librarian's face she isn't up for much more of these rainy days.

"I can't concentrate at all!" Connor sighs, flicking his wand and muttering something. The pages of the book flip to the next chapter. "I don't suppose you want to go somewhere more quiet?"

Remus shrugs. "Sure." He sends a quick glance at the window. The rain hasn't let up yet, and he wonders if James and Sirius have been let off practice early. He thinks that even if they did, they wouldn't want to come find him in the library anyway, as that would mean actually studying instead if simply relying on their natural brilliance. "Where did you have in mind?"

That's how Remus ends up in the back corner of the library, pressed up against Adair Connor at a one-person table far away from the rest of the students.

"This is my favorite chapter," Remus says, pointing to the title 'The Mislabeling of Certain Beast as Dark Creatures'. "Groban is a genius, you know. Talks about how you can't really divide animals into good or... is something wrong?"

Connor had this glazed look in his eyes. It is same vacant expression Remus has caught more than once on James' face. "I'm fine," he says, coughing and wiggling in his seat a little. "Yeah... Um... That chapter's really fascinating."

"It is," Remus isn't convinced that Connor has been paying any attention, but he doesn't press the matter. "If you have somewhere to be-"

Connor shakes his head. He is still wiggling in his seat. "No. Look, Remus... Don't take this the wrong way but has anyone ever told you that you look like a girl?"

Remus wonders how he could take that the right way. "No."

"Yeah, well... You know Sandra Jabian?"

"The fifth year?"

"Yeah. That's her." Connor pauses again. "You have her hair."

Remus has brown, goldish locks that had once been cut properly short before he'd meant Sirius and James and haircutting had become something of the past. Now it tickled the back of his neck and he was constantly tugging at it to move the bristle ends out from under his robe collar. Sandra had golden hair that was long enough to get stuck in her knickers and looked like it might be made out of strands of braided silk.

"What do you mean?" Remus says as slowly as he can to give Connor the chance to think his words over. "That I look like a girl?"

"Not a pretty girl!" Connor interjects. "I mean. Sandra's pretty, and if you were a girl I guess you would be but... Well, you're skinny like a girl. And you're all quiet and you like to read."

Remus is being told he likes to read too much by a Ravenclaw.

"I mean, I don't think girls would get half as many detentions as you," Connor adds. "And I don't think they'd try and charm Mcgonagall's desk to take points away from Slytherin like you did. So you're not really a girl."

"I'm glad we can agree on that." Remus looks back down at the book hoping that Connor would get the hint and drop the subject.

"You do kind of look like Sandra, though."

Remus temporally thinks about charming Connor silent, but then Madam Pince might make him do the whole library and he doesn't have the time

Instead he just gives a loud, irritated sigh. "Connor?" He hopes he sounded as thoroughly annoyed as he feels. "What are you going on about?"

Connor's lips were hot and wet and sort of crushed against his like he is trying to eat Remus's mouth or something equal as gruesome. It's so unexpected and disgusting that it took a moment for it to register as a kiss.

Remus doesn't know he can hit someone as hard as he does right then. Connor goes reeling back, and if there hadn't been a wall there he would have gone tumbling from his seat.

"Fuck!" He yells, rubbing the back of his head where it connected with the hard stone. Remus is already out of his chair, gathering all his things as quickly as possible. He doesn't look back when Connor starts yelling something at his back. He just keeps walking, resolved not to stop until he gets to his dorm.

Sirius, James, and Peter are standing around the transfiguration section of the library, flipping through a couple books. The moment Remus comes into view Peter starts pulling on James' sleeve, helping him to stuff the books back into the shelves.

"Remus!" Sirius jumps out in front his friend. It is that point when Remus notices them.

"Sirius." He tries to sound like another boy hadn't almost stuck his tongue down Remus's throat. "Is practice over all ready?"

"Yeah, got out early," Sirius says, running a hand through his still wet hair. Behind him, Peter and James are trying not to get noticed. "We came looking for you. Done with Connor?" Sirius sends a few not so subtle glances over his shoulder to the other two Gryffindor boys as a couple of the books they'd been reading toppled off the shelves.

"Yes!" Remus wonders if he had said that too quickly. "Yes," He repeats, a lot slower this time. "I think I should be going to bed. James? Peter? I didn't see you two there."

James smiles. "We were just picking up some reading to help Peter with his... um... transfiguration exams."

"Right," Peter nods vigorously. "We all know how horrid I am in transfigurations. All the help I can get. In fact, I might have to come down to the library every day to- OWE!" James's heel comes down hard on Peter's foot.

In his daze, Remus doesn't notice.