Here we have the second Prince of Tennis fanfic from a wannabe writer who enjoys procrastinating way too much.
-sigh- Hello to everyone who has wandered in here! This story is the result of not wanting to go to bed, staying up past midnight writing random ideas on a computer, obsessing over MomoKai and Tenimyu, trying to vent certain frustrations, and also avoiding things I'm supposed to be doing. Please don't hurt me because I haven't updated the fic I'm supposed to be working on, Forever. T-T I'm sorry! Anyway, please try to keep an open mind while reading this- I don't like it very much… aaah, it seems you've caught me in one of my inferiority-complex moods! Oops.
Anyway, disclaimer: If I owned PoT, it would be nonstop MomoKai and GP love, as well as other crack pairings… but PoT is sadly mainly InuKai. So I guess that means I don't own it.
Warnings: very very mild yaoi, slight language, MomoKai, second PoT fanfic (still can't get the hang of it)
Before I depress the hell out of anyone with my senseless ranting, here's the story!
Untitled – by animelover630
X
"And I'm telling YOU to watch where you're going!"
"And I'm telling YOU to watch where you hit the ball!"
"You wouldn't have been hit by the ball if you weren't there in the first place!"
"I wouldn't be hit by your stupid ball if you weren't so bad at tennis!"
"Oh, like your stupid snake tennis is so much better!"
"And I suppose calling your moves idiotic names is supposed to be cool!"
"Momo! Kaidoh! Stop fighting right now! We're in the middle of practice!" Oishi ran towards them, ready to break their fistholds on each others' collars before the shouting match got physical.
"40 laps." Tezuka's stern voice echoed across the court, indicating there would be no room for questioning his authority. Oishi exhaled in relief.
"Tch."
"Fushuu."
Momo and Kaidoh glared heatedly at each other for a moment more, then turned away from each other and started running in a cold silence.
Inui adjusted his glasses and scribbled something in his notebook. Fuji looked up. "Getting more data, Inui?"
"Yes. Third fight today- and we still have afternoon practice... hmm..." Inui mumbled, more to himself than to anyone else.
Fuji turned to watch the second year rivals, no longer giving each other the silent treatment but instead yelling at the top of their lungs as they tried to outrace each other. His smile grew slightly- in a strangely sadistic way- when he saw Tezuka approach them and give them more laps for fighting again. Those two just never give up.
"DON'T THROW YOUR DIRTY CLOTHES ON MY STUFF!"
"THEN DON'T PUT YOUR STUFF SO CLOSE TO MINE!"
"MOVE YOUR LOCKER, THEN, IF YOU'VE GOT A PROBLEM WITH IT!"
"STUPID MAMUSHI, YOU CAN'T MOVE LOCKERS!"
"YOU'RE STUPID ENOUGH TO TRY!"
Momo and Kaidoh were locked in another fight, this time after afternoon practice in the clubhouse. Strangely, they were the only ones there- Oishi had left them in a hurry, saying he'd be back to lock up the clubhouse after he got some paperwork done, but Momo suspected that it had more to do with Eiji-senpai feeling sick-
In any case, they were stuck here for whatever reason, and it wasn't making their day any better. They'd already been kicked out of class for fighting more than usual. Maybe something was up in the air, or neither of them had slept well, because today was just one explosion after another.
"Is that chocolate in your bag?"
"Where?" Momo poked around in his bag and yelped when his hand encountered a sticky mess. "Oh no, I forgot to take those out!"
"Take what out?"
"Those Valentine chocolates! I was saving them for a snack and everything!"
"Those chocolates are from Valentine's Day? That's disgusting! Do you know how long ago that was?"
"Hey, at least I got chocolates, unlike some people-"
"I don't need any stupid chocolates!"
"Oh yeah, that's right, you're in love with a senpai who's training you-"
Kaidoh turned a furious shade of red. "What the hell are you talking about?"
Momo couldn't turn back now. "You know exactly what I'm talking about. You and Inui-senpai-" he spat the words out of his mouth, with a vengeance that even he was surprised at.
"Th-that's not true!" Kaidoh hissed defensively. "He's just helping-"
"And hitting on you every minute of practice, and touching you whenever he has an excuse-"
"If it wasn't for him, my Boomerang Snake-"
"-is so pleasing for him to watch that he makes you do it over and over again!" Momo didn't even know what was coming out of his mouth- he'd certainly never had these thoughts before, but it was too late to take them back now.
"But I'm not all mushy on 'the tennis world's greatest freshman'-"
"What does any of this have to do with Echizen?"
"Everything you do has to do with Echizen-"
"What do you mean, everything?"
"Always showing off, talking him up so he'll go places with you, bribing him into this and that, hanging off of him, using your upperclassman power to make him do stuff with you-" now it was Kaidoh who was going on and on.
"That's just because he's the future of Seigaku! The Seigaku that me and you have to freaking lead, Mamushi! I gotta make a good impression on him-"
"-in the hopes that he'll fall in love with your sorry ass-"
"At least he's a hell of a lot cuter than you-"
"And Inui-senpai's smarter than a thousand of you-"
A dreadful silence filled the clubhouse as they stared at each other. What the hell were they doing?
But it was one thought that, unknown to them, ran simultaneously through their minds.
He can't be... jealous...?
And it was in this awkward silence that the two rivals packed up their stuff and left the clubhouse at practically the exact same time, and brushed past Oishi and Eiji so wordlessly that the Golden Pair turned around and stared at their retreating backs, confused.
They'd parted at the Seigaku gates- not that they hadn't already put a huge space between them while walking there- but Momo headed off in the direction of the street courts, while Kaidoh ran off in the opposite direction to train.
Neither of them had spoken to the other since their fight, and it didn't seem like that was about to change.
Kaidoh merely hissed and shook his head, trying to focus on his training. He decided to take the downtown route today; running through the forests didn't have any appeal to him at the moment. It wasn't that he wanted to be around people, it was actually the opposite, but something drew him to the populated area today.
He ran through the haze of people, the pounding of his heart giving him a soothing rhythm, the fading pink rays of sunlight casting a long shadow on the ground for him to look at. He slowed his pace down when he passed Kawamura's sushi bar, greeting Taka's father politely, and continued on, passing a glance or two in the windows of various sports stores.
"Arf!"
Kaidoh looked up, startled, hissing instinctively. His features softened as he saw the puppy ahead of him on the sidewalk. Next to kittens, Kaidoh thought puppies were incredibly cute- not that he'd ever tell anyone that. This puppy reminded him of- of- who was it? Oh yea, the puppy that he and that Momoshiro had saved from the river once, when he'd almost got swept away. It also reminded him of that sappy dog movie that Momoshiro loved so much, which he'd known about when Momo had forced him to listen to him rant on about the plot of the movie, and shown Kaidoh pictures as well. It was one of Kaidoh's favorite movies, too, but he wasn't going to tell the idiot that he'd gone home that day and rented the movie and spent the night crying over Lucky.
As Kaidoh approached the small dog, a thought crossed his mind that if Momoshiro had indeed been there, he would've cried out "Lucky!" and chased after it and probably have kept it, too, if it didn't belong to anyone else. Obviously, knowing that idiot.
"Hey." Kaidoh said, as gently as he could in his deep voice. The dog stayed where it was, staring earnestly at Kaidoh. The tennis player crouched down and scratched the puppy behind its ears, earning a soft nuzzle as a reward. A smile overtook Kaidoh's face, and he forgot whatever had troubled him throughout that day. A few minutes with this small puppy, and he was already in love.
"Arf arf!" the dog leaped up suddenly and took off, its little legs carrying it surprisingly quickly. Kaidoh let out a low laugh and jogged after it. There weren't many people on the streets at this time, so he didn't feel as embarrassed if someone saw him like this.
"Wait!" Kaidoh called out, and the dog barked in response, running in a zigzag path instead of a straight line, teasing Kaidoh. Kaidoh grinned despite himself.
Out of habit, Kaidoh stopped as he reached the intersection, waiting for the pedestrian light to turn white before he could cross-
But the dog didn't stop.
Kaidoh's smile contorted into a mask of fear and shock. He looked down the street- damn life's bad timing, there always had to be those stupid delivery trucks at this time of the day-
"Stop! Come back! LUCKY!" Kaidoh yelled out of desperation, and to his surprise and further horror, the puppy looked back at this name, tail wagging and jumping up and down excitedly in the middle of the road.
"No-!" Kaidoh rushed out into the road, not bothering to think things through. He reached the dog, scooped him up, barely felt the dog licking his face as he turned around to face the blaring lights-
Momo rubbed his face with the towel, trying to soak up all the sweat. He threw a grin over at the next bench- Kamio growled back, but there was no tension in the air.
After he had left Seigaku, Momo had headed for the street tennis courts on his bike. To his luck, he'd found Kamio and Shinji of Fudomine playing there. He'd challenged Kamio to a match, after they had one of their little quarrels, and Shinji sat on the side, the perfect mumbling referee.
Momo had won- not by much, but he had won. All that anger and frustration and weird feelings he'd had that day converted into raw power, which he then used on the small yellow ball. It had felt good and satisfying, and this put Momo in a great mood, not even remembering how he'd felt earlier in the day.
"It's getting dark. I'd tell Kamio that it's a good time to leave, so that we don't get mugged in the streets, but he looks like he still wants to say something to Momoshiro. I don't know if I should tell him anyways, because he might be deep in thought, and then I would ruin his train of thought. But that's not really my problem, and-"
"Shinji, you've already ruined my train of thought." Kamio said, sighing. He shouldered his bag and turned to Momo. "Nice game today. See ya around."
"Come back whenever you feel like you need a beating!" Momo taunted good-naturedly, provoking the other second-year, but Shinji started talking again and Kamio had to turn his attention to his best friend instead.
Momo looked up at the darkening sky, streaks of orange still spread across it. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath of the fresh air. His stomach grumbled.
He groaned in disbelief. "Aaah, I didn't even think of getting burgers before I came! Now I'm even hungrier than ever! I don't know if I even have that much money..." he gathered all his stuff quickly and started pedaling in the direction of the burger place. "So hungry..."
His phone rang. Momo dug around in his bag for it while it rang two more times. Finally pulling it out from behind a ball of his messy clothes, he glanced at the caller ID. "Oishi-senpai?" he wondered out loud, eyebrow raising. "Why would he..." he flipped it open."Hello?"
"M-Momo?" The voice on the other end was shaking and distraught. Momo knew Oishi was always worried, but to this extent...?
"Yea- something wrong, Oishi-senpai?"
Momo could hear Oishi taking a deep breath, and saying something to someone else who was with him- was that crying he could hear? "-Momo- I think- you- the hospital. There- there's been an accident- Momo- it's—"
Momo hung up and started pedaling like crazy towards the hospital. He didn't even hear who had been in the accident, but he was already filled with a sense of dread. Names ran like crazy through his mind- who could it be? His heart was pounding, sweat flying off him as he pushed his body to the limit to get to the hospital as soon as possible. He could feel strands of his hair coming loose from their usual gelled position, but it didn't matter. Regardless of who it was, just the knowledge that someone had been hurt, someone in the tennis club, probably, if Oishi-senpai was the one calling-
Who was it?
Momo threw his bike against the wall and ran to the desk, not caring that his body felt like it was going to collapse. The receptionist looked up in alarm. "May I help you?" she said calmly- she'd been trained well at her job.
"S-Seigaku-" Momo gasped out, for lack of anything else to say.
The receptionist quickly looked over the uniform and the tennis bag and searched in her mind- yes, that seemed right- several boys with the same uniform had rushed by earlier- "Room 2-143." She answered. "I think the patient just got out of the emergency room-"
Momo bowed a quick thanks and rushed off, not even bothering to take the elevator. He rushed up the stairs and almost ran past the room, skidding to a halt. He flung the door open.
The Seigaku tennis club was gathered inside. It was a large room, with its own waiting area. The patient's room was through another door, the window blocked by a curtain. Momo scanned the pale faces, breathing heavily. "Who is it?" he asked frantically.
Oishi looked up, about to say something, but Momo only got a brief glimpse of his tear-stained face before the fukubuchou's posture collapsed back down. Beside him, Eiji had buried his face in Oishi's shirt, muffling his sobs. The rest of Seigaku was in similar emotional states- even Tezuka, the stoic captain, had his head bowed, hands tightly woven together.
Momo searched the faces of his teammates once more, trying to figure out who was missing. His eyes widened when he didn't see the familiar cap or the short body of his friend. "It's not- it's Echizen?" he said, his voice lowering to a whisper.
There was a moment where no one spoke, and then a voice from behind him rose softly, startling Momo. "No, Momo-senpai- I'm right here."
Momo turned around to face Ryoma, who was holding a freshly-bought Ponta. "Not you?" he said questioningly. "Then-"
Ryoma shook his head slowly, all traces of arrogance and insolence gone from him. "Momo-senpai- it- it's... Kaidoh-senpai."
The color drained out of Momo's face. He stared at Ryoma. Suddenly, he grabbed the freshman by the shoulders and shook him angrily. "No- you're kidding! No way- that stupid Mamushi wouldn't-"
Ryoma winced from the pressure on his shoulders as he looked away. "I'm sorry, Momo-senpai..."
Momo stopped, realizing that Ryoma wasn't joking. He let go of the freshman, allowing him to rub the feeling back into his shoulders, and turned around slowly to look at the rest of the team. His pleading eyes looked into their down-turned ones, as he tried to find any suggestion, any hint that this was just a joke, that they were just trying to fool him-
But his efforts were in vain.
Momo's hands were shaking. He clenched them, but it didn't help. "It's... true?" he whispered hoarsely, his own voice sounding foreign to him. "Mamushi... Kaidoh... he's..."
"He asked to see you." Inui stated weakly, the commanding data-man tone gone from his voice. "His family's in there right now, but... he said..."
He's still alive. The fact registered itself in his mind, and Momo felt a little bud of hope start to swell. "What... what happened?"
"Kaidoh Kaoru-kun dove in front of a large delivery truck in the middle of an intersection in order to save a dog." A doctor said, not even looking up as he wrote something down on his clipboard and shut the patient door behind him with his foot.
"A- A dog?" Momo briefly recalled that Kaidoh had a soft spot for small and cute animals- especially that one time, when he'd almost got killed in the river trying to save that dog-
"Yes, a puppy, to be exact." The doctor finally looked up, clicking his pen. "Are you Momoshiro, by any chance?"
"Ah- yeah."
"Good, good. Kaidoh-kun's been wanting to see you. Please, come this way." The doctor gestured towards Momo, placing a hand on the doorknob to the patient room.
It took Momo a moment or two to walk steadily. His legs were shaking, weighed down by the feeling of lead, and he couldn't think straight. Somehow, he managed to make it to the door, which opened for him. The Kaidoh family's grief-stricken faces greeted him, but they stood and started to exit, allowing Momo and Kaidoh to be alone. Momo bowed deeply to them in thanks. All of this passed wordlessly, and the silence only aggravated Momo's disbelief.
"Stupid, you finally came."
Momo looked up at the familiar voice, his little bubble of hope starting to expand- but nearly popped when he saw his rival.
Kaidoh was lying in the bed, his green bandanna gone, a mass of bandages replacing it around his head instead. Patches also decorated Kaidoh's face, spots of blood already staining through- his neck was wrapped in a bandage as well- Momo decided that Kaidoh's body was one big bandage, because wherever he looked, there were bandages, many of them, wrapped tightly and thickly, but blood still showed in some places. The blanket covered Kaidoh from his shoulders downward, save for his left arm, which rested stiffly on top of the blanket- but Momo wasn't sure he wanted to see the full extent of the damage, anyway.
Kaidoh's voice, although still recognizable, had also been thick and forced. Even as Kaidoh's eyes burned steadily into Momo, Momo could still tell that Kaidoh was suffering severe pain, his lip still bleeding slightly from where he'd bit down on it.
Kaidoh grunted and slightly lifted a finger, with effort, but quite obviously telling Momo to sit down. "Fushuu... you're making me nervous just standing there..."
Momo forced out a weak laugh as he sat down next to the bed. "At least you can still hiss, Mamushi..."
"I'm not dead yet."
Kaidoh's casual words hit Momo again, in the opposite way that Kaidoh had meant them to. Momo looked away, watching the heart monitor beside Kaidoh's bed. The steady beeping calmed him down a bit, but every time there was a slight pause, Momo's heart skipped a beat.
Kaidoh followed Momo's line of sight. "Doctor says I have a 5 percent chance of surviving." He said flatly.
Momo looked up, not bothering to hide his horror. But he didn't voice his fears. Instead, he said, "What'd Inui-senpai say about that?"
A tiny smile formed on Kaidoh's face. "He pushed up his glasses and said, 'Rikutsu ja nai.'"
Momo smiled as well. "Sounds like Inui-senpai."
Kaidoh gasped as one of his injuries shifted the wrong way. Momo started, his eyes wide, his hand reaching out towards Kaidoh. Kaidoh closed his eyes and tried to bat away Momo's hand, but ended up catching his wrist instead and holding it hostage against the bed.
"Mamu- Kaidoh- are you-"
"I'm fine. It- it's nothing new. Can't even breathe now." Kaidoh muttered, then coughed. Momo stiffened in alarm again, but Kaidoh's fingers tightened slightly around his wrist.
In the silence that followed, Kaidoh opened his eyes and looked over at Momo. He hissed, a mix of worry and anger, when he saw the tears falling down his rival's face. "What the hell are you crying for, idiot?"
Momo bowed his head, hiding his face from Kaidoh. "I'm not-"
"You're still a bad liar..."
Kaidoh could see Momo's shoulders shaking. He didn't say anything, however, and returned his gaze to the bare ceiling.
"It's not fair." Momo's voice penetrated the silence that had fallen around them once again.
Kaidoh looked back at Momo. "What are you-"
"It's not fair, Mamushi!" Momo was looking straight at him now, the fear and the worry being overpowered by the intense anger, the tears flowing unchecked down his face. "I- why the hell are you lying in the hospital? Life- life shouldn't be this way! You shouldn't have to- it's not fair! I hate this! You- you're my damn rival, Mamushi! What the hell- no! I can't- I can't stand seeing you like this! Damn you, Kaidoh, why the hell did you get in a stupid fucking accident?" Momo yelled at him, leaning forward, his free hand gripped tightly around a fistful of blankets. "What the hell, Kaidoh, you can't do this to me!" With an uncharacteristic wail, he collapsed onto the bed, his face buried into his arm and the sheets, sobbing loudly.
Kaidoh had listened to Momo's yelling with a hard expression, but upon his breakdown, Kaidoh became flustered. "Hey- stupid- Momoshiro- don't go crying on me, dammit-"
"It's not FAIR!"
The hospitalized boy gave up and let his rival cry, unconsciously stroking Momo's wrist with an uninjured finger in an effort to calm him down.
All the pain, anger, and regret surging around inside of him- Momo poured it all into his tears, forced his emotions into his sobs, voiced his feelings in his wails. The abstract pattern Kaidoh was tracing absentmindedly on his wrist sent a tingling feeling throughout his body, spreading throughout every vein and provoking his senses.
Yet there was that one feeling, locked up in the back of his mind, that he didn't release. One strange feeling which he tried to avoid every time he thought about it. One odd feeling which he was completely confused about. One feeling he didn't want to let go of.
XXXX
"Kaidoh."
"What?"
"I'm sorry. For yelling at you today."
"Fushuu." Kaidoh hissed. "No, you're not."
Momo allowed a small grin. "Yea, you're right. That's what we do best, huh? Fight and yell and piss each other off."
"Fushuu."
"Well, I'm sorry I said all that weird stuff about Inui-senpai then, even though it's probably true."
"…"
"Kaidoh, this is the part where you say you're sorry you said that stuff about me and Echizen!"
"Why should I?"
"You're just supposed to, Kaidoh!"
"No."
"You trying to pick a fight?"
Kaidoh laughed bitterly, his finger tapping on Momo's wrist. "I would, you idiot, except I can't move most of my body."
"..." Momo relapsed into sulking again, his provoking statement only serving to remind them of Kaidoh's situation. Momo had had a good cry, and letting all those emotions out had made him feel a lot better- but it still hadn't changed anything. After all, Kaidoh was still sitting here in the hospital. The only thing he had done was keep Kaidoh entertained by watching him make a fool out of himself. At least Kaidoh hadn't laughed at him.
Although he still wondered why Kaidoh was spending so much time with him. After all, the others couldn't have had this long alone with him- the amount of time didn't match up, if Oishi-senpai had called him right away- which he was sure he had done, knowing Oishi-senpai.
Maybe he was wasting Kaidoh's life away. Every minute that ticked by on the clock above them- something could happen to Kaidoh any second, something could go horribly wrong... something that would make the steady beeping noise turn into a flat, never-ending monotone...
"Hey, stupid."
Momo stared at Kaidoh for a second, then snapped out of his reverie. "I'm not stupid!"
"Yes, you are." Kaidoh glared at Momo. His teammate probably hadn't noticed, but Kaidoh had watched Momo carefully, and he'd seen the change in his down turned eyes, he'd seen the fear take its place there. "If you keep thinking like that..."
"Thinking like what?"
"Thinking... stupidly."
"I'm not thinking stupidly, you loser..."
"Hn. You're the loser."
"No, I'm not..."
The whole time after Momo finished crying, he had remained sprawled out across the bed. Now, he lifted up his head to glance at the wall. After a moment, he turned his head to look at Kaidoh.
"Oi, Mamushi?"
"Hn."
"I... like you."
"...Never mind. I shouldn't have said that." Momo flopped back onto the bed, face turned away in the opposite direction from Kaidoh.
"...Momoshiro." The word came after a long moment of silence.
"Ah- yea?" Momo raised his head slowly to look at Kaidoh.
"...Don't give me your deathbed confessions, stupid." Kaidoh said, a rare smile on his face.
Momo found himself smiling in return. "I'll give it to you anyway, just because you don't want it."
"Fushuu! I never said... I didn't want it..." Kaidoh looked away, a light blush shading his cheeks.
A comfortable silence settled down in the room, each boy lost in their own thoughts at the moment, nearly identical content smiles on their faces.
But it ended too soon. Suddenly, Momo felt a change from the light touch of Kaidoh's hand to an intense, vice-grip around his wrist. "Kaidoh! What the hell-?" The steady beats on the heart-monitor began to fluctuate wildly.
Kaidoh's smile had been twisted into a grimace, a gasp escaping from his throat. No words came from him, and Momo assumed the worst. He jumped up, ignoring the cramping of his muscles. "Hold on- I'll go get the doctor-!"
"Wait-" Kaidoh managed to say, holding back his pain with great effort. His hand was still clamped around Momo's, and in a sudden burst of energy he pulled him closer. The years of practicing tennis were still in him, and whether by accident or on purpose, Momo landed on top of him with deadly accuracy. Or rather, his lips landed on Kaidoh's.
Momo's eyes widened, his already rapid heartbeat going into overdrive, his mind racing like crazy. Kaidoh-
It was only a brief kiss, and after a few seconds (although it felt like an eternity to both of them), Momo and Kaidoh pushed away from each other simultaneously, their faces flushed, though Kaidoh kept Momo from jumping to the door. Pushing away his embarrassment for the moment, he said steadily, his eyes burning into Momo's, "I won't give up."
Momo recovered from his shock after a while. His expression softened, but his eyes were as hard and determined as Kaidoh's. "If you lose, I'll never forgive you, stupid Mamushi."
Then the moment was over. Kaidoh released Momo's wrist, finally, as he coughed violently, the heart-monitor's sounds accompanying Kaidoh's coughs in a deadly rhythm that engraved itself in Momo's brain. Momo's pupils contracted in fear, and he burst out the door, practically shoving the doctor and Kaidoh's family in before running past the stunned faces of his friends into the deserted hallway.
Momoshiro didn't know how long he'd sat there, alone, in the dark end of the hallway, drifting in and out of consciousness, holding his tearless face in his hands. He'd silently separated himself from his friends, and none of them had come out looking for him- he was glad for this, because as much as he liked being around people, he just didn't want to see anyone's face right now. Not when the sound of the faraway door, opening and closing for the doctors and nurses rushing in and out, made him wince and cover his ears, blocking out the noises, blocking out reality.
What was even worse was the heavy silence that had settled in Momo's hearing range. The doctors no longer rushed frantically out of the room, and that scared Momo even more than the mass panic of them before.
But Kaidoh had said he wouldn't give up, he'd never give up, Kaidoh wouldn't lose, Kaidoh was strong, as strong as him, one of the most determined people he'd ever known in his life-
The tennis player contracted even further into the hospital bench, his bones digging into the uncomfortably hard surface. For a place where people waited in life or death situations, Momo thought dryly, you'd think they would try to provide just a little more comfort.
Momo liked emotions. They made a person seem a lot more real and within reach, unlike people who acted like stone walls. He particularly liked strong emotions, because that was when a person really had life in them, and it was easier to understand.
That's why Momo hated what he was feeling at that moment- he was feeling a lot of nothing. After all the intensity he had tumbled through throughout that day, it seemed like the flood of emotions had hit a dam. Now, he felt...
Empty.
He hated it. He hated feeling this way. He didn't understand it, and he didn't like it at all. He knew he was angry, he knew he was sad-
Or at least he knew that he should be feeling that way.
Why couldn't he cry? Why couldn't he yell at someone? Why couldn't he go vent his anger somewhere? Why couldn't he run away and forget everything? Why couldn't he dump his worries on someone else, make someone else understand for him? Why couldn't he tell someone else how he felt?
Why couldn't he feel?
Momo raised his head and tilted it back to look up at the ceiling, his purple eyes reflecting the turmoil within him, glowing dimly in the darkness, though no one was there to see it.
"Kaidoh," he muttered, "this all made more sense when you were here."
As he fell into a dreamless sleep, he desperately tried to take those words back, those words that spoke so horribly in the past tense, tried to take the hopeless tone out of them, like he'd already lost faith in his rival- but they flew out of his reach, disappearing into the heavens above.
"Momo!"
How long had he been there?
"Momo!"
How long had it been? Since that horrible feeling had seeded itself inside of him? Since he'd felt his heart drop, something plummeting into infinite darkness? How long since he'd lost his way within himself?
"Momo!"
Momo slowly raised his head and looked out the window, his eyes only seeing the darkness that lay before him. Yes, it was still night. He wouldn't be surprised if it was 2 in the morning by now, but he'd lost all sense of time.
"MOMO!"
Suddenly Momo jolted out of his thoughts, finally seeing the faces before him who he'd passed off as blurry tricks of the moonlight before.
The Golden Pair was kneeled before him, tears streaming down their faces, both hanging on to some part of him when they'd tried to shake him back into reality. Momo stared at both of them, the familiar feeling of dread rising and swirling until he felt like he was going to throw up. "Kaidoh...?" he whispered.
Oishi shook his head, slowly. "They tried... but..." his voice was stressed, tired, broken.
"No..."
"He... just now, he..."
"...No!" Momo repeated, more forcefully, finding the strength within himself again. "NO! That stupid Mamushi WOULDN'T! He said- he PROMISED he wouldn't freaking GIVE UP! There's no way he'd be so weak! There's no way he couldn't- he'd never-"
"He was crying," Eiji mumbled unsteadily. "He... he said..."
Oishi took over for his doubles partner. "He said... he was sorry. What he said was... 'I'm sorry'."
"He... he's SORRY?" Momo yelled angrily. "That- that bastard- he's freaking SORRY? I'll show him- he's such a coward! He can't go and freaking die on me- That's not FAIR-"
"Momo!" Oishi cried out in desperation. "I'm sorry, but it's- it's too late! Kaidoh- he's gone. He couldn't do anything about it! They- the doctors said-"
But the rest of the fukubuchou's words were lost on Momo. He had suddenly become aware of the fresh wetness on his cheeks.
"Momo," Eiji said suddenly, after a long, long period of silence. "Kaidoh... he wanted... he wanted us to give you something."
"Ah! That's right, Eiji, I almost forgot." Oishi said, smiling slightly, the first time Momo had seen him smile all night. Together, the pair brought out an animal between them and held it out to Momo.
Momo's eyes widened. "L-Lucky?"
"That... that's what Kaidoh said his name was." Eiji said, both amused and surprised.
Momo reached out, his hands shaking, to hold the puppy. "This- this is for me?"
"Yea. From Kaidoh." Oishi and Eiji spoke together, in unison.
Momo laughed faintly as the puppy licked the tears away from his face, feeling the dark hole inside of him beginning to brighten. "Then- this is the dog that Mamushi...?"
"Yea. The doctors said he was fine, and he didn't belong to anybody, so he was free to go. I'm surprised he's kept quiet the whole time." Oishi finally remembered to wipe his own tear-streaked face, and he did the same for Eiji. They had all calmed down considerably by now, watching the little dog's antics. "Momo... do you want us to leave you alone...?"
Momo ruffled the little dog's fur, earning a tail wag. He smiled absently. "Nah... I'll come back with you guys. It... it's boring sitting here by myself."
"Hoi! Momo-chan's back!" Eiji chirped, managing to grasp some form of energy within him. The three looked at each other. They couldn't laugh freely yet, like they used to be able to- the pain was still strong, the loss still fresh. But- they could look forward, they could even smile a little. They could talk about it, maybe later, maybe in the future, and laugh about all the good times they had, instead of crying over all the time they'd lost and wasted.
Yes, now was the time to gather together, to support each other, so that they wouldn't drift apart. Now was the time to stay together and stay strong together. It would be hard, it would be stressful, knowing that one of their tightly-knit group would never come back- but maybe, they could start out slowly, with the help of a little dog.
Momo knew Kaidoh hadn't lied when he said he'd never give up, because Kaidoh Kaoru didn't die that day.
No, Kaidoh was still there, among his friends, among his teammates, among his rivals. His voice could often be heard from the bleachers- not that anyone could understand him, of course, because he was barking.
Kaidoh's spirit remained with the people he cared about until they didn't care anymore- even though that day never came. He remained with them in the form of their memories- and Momo's small dog named Lucky, with a green bandana tied around his neck.
owari
Random Japanese:
Rikutsu ja nai- Inui's phrase, meaning "It's not logical".
-senpai- upperclassman
fukubuchou- vice captain, which Oishi is
Owari- end
I don't feel like explaining –kun and –chan, because if I did, I'd only confuse myself more.
Now I feel bad for writing this much. It seems like it was a waste of time, being so long and all and hardly satisfying... I had such great plans for it, but my writing wasn't good enough... I guess I have to work harder at writing Prince of Tennis. I'm not used to it. I'm sorry!
Well, please review! It would be greatly appreciated, even if it's a flame or something, and 'constructive criticism' is always welcome! I always like to know how people feel after they've suffered through my whole story to get to the end. XD;
(God, I am so self-pitying it's almost sickening! I need more confidence! Um... REVIEW MY AWESOME STORY! RAWR! X3 I tried...)