Strange Alliances
by Erestor
Disclaimer: I own nothing pertaining to The Lord of the Rings, The Silmarillion, or the Harry Potter series. This story was written for entertainment purposes only.
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
'...And Eönwë, the banner-bearer and herald of Manwë, whose might in arms is surpassed by none in Arda.'
-J.R.R. Tolkien, 'The Silmarillion'
Lórien swept into Manwë's office, formless and irate.
"Mandos killed me," he said.
Manwë blinked. "Mandos killed you?"
"Yes."
"But why?" Manwë asked, his brow furrowed. "Why would he want to do such a thing?"
"He is consumed with lust for Sauron's Ring!" Lórien said. "He killed me for it!"
Manwë sat back in his chair and closed his eyes. Then he said, "Allow me to ask you a few questions."
"I will tell you everything!" Lórien said. He proceeded to try to do so, in a rapid, convoluted way that made no sense and merely wasted a lot of time.
Manwë held up his hand for silence. "Please," he said. "Just answer a few questions."
"All right."
"First, does Mandos have Sauron's Ring now?"
"Yes."
"Second, did he kill you specifically to get it from you? You weren't just being annoying or something?"
"He killed me for the Ring," Lórien said, "and no, I was not being 'annoying'. I am never annoying."
"Of course." Manwë said, perfectly straight-faced. As Lord of the Valar, he was used to dealing with similarly deluded individuals on a regular basis. "Third," he said, "do you know what Mandos plans to do with the Ring?"
"I presume he plans to use it to become all-powerful and take over the world," Lórien said. "That's what I would have done."
Manwë raised his eyebrows.
"I didn't mean to say that," Lórien said hastily.
"I'm sure," Manwë said, still straight-faced. "Thank you. You have been a great help."
After Lórien had left, Manwë pondered the situation for a few minutes. It seemed that exposure to Middle-earth had a bad influence on the most well-balanced of Valar. First it affected their powers, and then it affected their ambitions and their moral values. Then they went totally loopy and started killing people and trying to take over.
Manwë did not like the thought of having to deal with an evil Mandos. It would not be fun, and it would not be easy.
He called for Eönwë. Eönwë came.
"You asked for me, my lord?"
Manwë nodded. "Yes, I did ask for you, Eönwë. I will need your help very soon."
"I would be delighted to assist you in any of your endeavors," the Maia said.
"Thank you," Manwë said. "You may have heard about some undesirable goings-on in Middle-earth."
Eönwë nodded.
"Morgoth has managed to escape the Void, and is causing mischief," Manwë said. "Mandos has gotten his hands on Sauron's Ring of power, and seems intent on using it for ill. We will not be able to stop the evil plans of anyone until we sort out another small problem."
"What problem is that, my lord?"
"Someone is rewriting history to suit Morgoth's evil purpose. Mandos has told me, indirectly, that a girl named Luthy is responsible for the mess," Manwë said. "We must stop her first, and then deal with the real Enemy. Both of them."
"All right," Eönwë said. "That sounds reasonable."
"Lórien will lead us to Luthy," Manwë said. "After we take care of her, we'll go to Middle-earth and incapacitate Morgoth once and for all. And we'll see what's going on with Mandos. It could be messy."
"Messy is never a problem, my lord," Eönwë said.
Luthy sat at her computer, typing busily.
At that moment, she was unaware of how all things end, but she was doomed to discover this shortly. She hummed to herself, feeling happy and fulfilled, little realizing that her beloved computer would soon be no longer with her.
Someone knocked on the door.
"Someone is knocking on the door," Luthy told Morgoth.
DON'T ANSWER IT.
"Why not?"
Bad things will happen.
"How can you be so sure?"
The door opened, and someone came in.
"The door opened," Luthy said quietly, leaning close to the screen, "and someone came in."
It's Manwë! Hurry! Smite him with something! SMITE HIM NOW!
"How?" Luthy said, her voice a mere squeak of panic. She wracked her mind for a good thing with which to smite a Vala, and typed, as quickly as possible: Manwë lost all his Vala powers.
She could hear footsteps in her kitchen.
Not good enough Morgoth said. DO SOMETHING BETTER.
And you don't have time for little accent marks.
Luthy huddled over her keyboard, typing: Manwe didn't even have enough energy to stand up.
That's weird, but it'll do. Ask him what he wants.
"Manwë?" Luthy asked.
"Yes?"
"What do you, um, want?"
"Well, I'd like to be able to get off the floor."
Don't listen to him!
"He sounds nice," Luthy said. She typed: Manwe walked into the room and sat down.
Manwë did so. He wore jeans and red t-shirt, and his dyed-blond hair was hardly spiky at all.He looked as nice –if not more nice– than he had sounded, perfectly innocent and affable. He smiled up at Luthy and said, "This is a great improvement."
Luthy could not help but smile back.
Judging by the number of pop-ups that had begun to carpet her screen, Morgoth was going berserk.
"I came here to contact you," Manwë said, "because you have been interfering with the history of Middle-earth."
"Have I?"
"I believe so. Morgoth wasn't supposed to escape the Void and take over Middle-earth a second time," Manwë said. "You gave him the power to do that, did you not?"
"I suppose."
"Knowing Morgoth, he's probably not that grateful, is he?"
"Not really," Luthy said. "He yells at me a lot."
Manwë looked appropriately sympathetic and understanding.
"When I type things in my computer," Luthy said, "they happen."
"Is that always so?"
Luthy thought. "Well, no, actually. What I type only affects fictional people."
"Fictional people like myself?" Manwë suppressed a grin.
She nodded.
"Have you considered that Middle-earth might possibly be better off when Morgoth isn't in charge of it?" Manwë asked.
"I like Morgoth," Luthy said. "He's very motivated. He likes to get things done."
"He's very evil," Manwë said.
Luthy faltered, but briefly. Then she said, "Morgoth and I destroyed Sauron. We built an army to reconquer the so-called Free Peoples of Middle-earth. I'm having so much fun."
"So you won't stop?" Manwë asked.
He looked sad, and Luthy did not really want to make him sad. He was too likable to be sad. She glanced at her monitor to see what Morgoth thought of the whole business.
KILL HIM KILL HIM KILL HIM KILL HIM KILL HIM
"Morgoth wants me to kill you," she said.
"Valar can't die."
Make it so that he never existed! Then all power will be mine!
"Morgoth says I can obliterate you," Luthy said, "so that you will never have existed."
"Do you really want to do that, or are you just letting Morgoth order you around?" Manwë asked. "You don't have to do everything he says."
Obliterate him, PLEASE.
Luthy, caught between two powerful and persuasive individuals, looked from one to the other with big eyes.
"I think she's made her choice, my lord," said a new voice, and suddenly Luthy felt the sharp tip of a sword at her throat. Turning slightly, she caught sight of a tall, silver-haired individual staring at her with steely eyes.
"I suppose," Manwë said. He sighed.
It's Eönwë! KILL HIM!
"Eönwë, would you please stop threatening Luthy with a sword?" Manwë said. "I think you've made your point."
"I think so too," Eönwë said. He lowered his weapon. "Luthy," he said, "would you please undo the various limitations you have placed on my lord?"
"Certainly," Luthy said, and quickly complied.
Manwë stood up.
"Now can we smash her computer?" Eönwë asked.
"Let's not smash it just yet," Manwë said. "This is our chance to save Middle-earth. Luthy can fix everything, and we can smash the computer afterwards."
"Please, my lord, reconsider," Eönwë said. "You want to leave the saving of Middle-earth to her? She caused the mess! She doesn't deserve to type a few magic words and save the day! We should do that."
Manwë reconsidered. "All right," he said. "Smash away."
Lúthien cornered Sauron the second he entered the utility closet.
"Sauron," she asked, "what is Mandos doing?"
"How on earth should I know?" Sauron said. "He wouldn't tell me. He is one of the Lords of the Valar, after all, while I am but a humble Maia."
"You are anything but a humble Maia," Lúthien said. "To make matters more suspicious, you and Mandos had a lengthy chat in the hallway. I would like to know what the two of you are planning." She looked up at him through her eyelashes.
"I'm sure you would love to know," Sauron said, "but you must learn that you cannot always get everything you want."
Far from acting offended, Lúthien smiled faintly. "Oh?" she said.
"And Mandos and I weren't planning anything," Sauron added, belatedly.
"Oh?" Lúthien said again. She smiled more broadly. "What does he want you to do for him?" she asked. "He must want something."
"I don't know what Mandos wants."
"I don't think he wants anything that will be good for us lesser creatures," Lúthien said. "It seems that Valar usually don't."
It was Sauron's turn to smile. "True," he said.
"I suspect that Mandos does not want to destroy the Ring," Lúthien said. "Why is that?"
"It is a very powerful Ring," Sauron said. "There is no one in existence who does not want a little more power. What," he asked suddenly, "would you do if you had my Ring?"
"I don't know," Lúthien said. "I'll think about it." She leaned elegantly against the wall, looking slantwise at the Maia. "What would you do if you happened to get your hands on the Ring again?"
"I would fulfill a lifelong dream," Sauron said, "and provide tyranny and injustice for all."
"In that case," Lúthien said, "I will do my very utmost to prevent you from coming in contact with it."
TBC...