Epilogue

'Oh, Holy Tears

They linger on

Holding you, my love . . ."

The mid-August sun cast a golden glow on the sand. It was a chilly-looking warmth, one that hinted at the promise of autumn's untimely arrival.

"Daddy . . . Daddy . . . watch me!"

Tiny feet pounded the beach as she abandoned shovel and pail, heading straight for the water. A flash of flaxen hair, a squeal of delight, and she disappeared into a wave, only to come out on the other side, laughing proudly.

"Wait, Annie," her father called, heading after her into the surf. "The lake is pretty rough today."

The child paused obediently until he reached her side then dove into the frothy waves once again, her laugh of exuberance skipping back across the water to where her mother sat watching.

"She's really become a fish, hasn't she?"

"Brad?" Amanda looked up from her beach chair, blinking against the bright sunlight. "Oh my gosh! Is that really you?"

"In the flesh," he laughed. "Times certainly have changed. I never used to be able to take you by surprise."

"I've mellowed, I guess," she said, with an easy smile. "It comes from not having to be wary of every sound."

"Well, it suits you. You look wonderful."

A deep blush flushed her cheeks; she hoped he'd mistake it for too much sun. "You look great, too." She pointed to the seat Lee vacated when he chased after Annie. "Can you sit for a minute?"

"Thanks, I'd like that." Settling into the chair, he leaned back and looked at her.

"I'm surprised to see you," she said after moment's silence. "I'd heard you were away at a medical convention."

"And I'd barely unpacked my bags before I heard you were here for a visit."

She laughed. "Harrisville's town grapevine is still as effective as ever, I see. Let me guess—it was the Taney twins."

"You're close." Something flashed across his face then buried itself behind his eyes. "Their older sister."

Amanda absently brushed the sand from her beach towel. "Oh, yeah—I remember, their mother used to talk about her. Wasn't she away at school or something?"

He nodded. "The University of Michigan . . . medical school, as it turns out. She's just finished her internship at the Burns Clinic and," he grinned sheepishly, "gone into practice with me, actually."

She raised an eyebrow. "Are you two . . . ?"

"Maybe." He shrugged away his embarrassment. "We're taking things slowly. She's my partner, after all."

Amanda's eyes drifted out to where Lee and Annie stood together on the sandbar, the white caps crashing around them. Lee was holding onto his daughter's hands as she enthusiastically jumped over the waves. "You never know what can develop from a good partnership," she said. "Sometimes when you least expect it."

He followed her gaze. "Annie's grown a foot, hasn't she?"

"Yes. She's going to be tall like . . ."

"Like her father," Brad finished, a faint smile curling the edges of his mouth.

"Yes," she said, avoiding his gaze. "I can hardly believe she'll be starting kindergarten in a few weeks . . ." She sighed. "I only hope she won't be bored. She's reading already, if you can believe it. She and Lee have this bedtime ritual . . ." She let her words trail off.

"Then they both must have gotten a lot of use from the books I sent for her birthday." Brad cleared his throat. "How long are you all in town?"

"We're leaving the day after tomorrow. Lee needs to get back to work."

"The country isn't in the midst of some secret crisis, I hope," he said with a throaty chuckle.

"No, nothing like that," she assured him, laughing. "He just feels guilty about taking so much sick time last winter for his surgery."

"How's the knee doing?"

"Fine. He's back to running again." Amanda smiled. The trail in Back Creek Nature Park was a far cry from the Swiss Alps he'd once frequented, but Lee didn't seem to mind. "And classes start again next week for the boys," she said, shaking her head. "I don't know where the time has gone . . ."

"I know. It's been almost a year since . . ." His eyes followed the sails of a boat out on the water. "How are your sons doing?"

"Really well, thanks," she murmured, studying the neat tracks left by the pipers on the sand. "They've been in Africa since mid-July, visiting their father and stepmother. They're due back Sunday night, just in time for the chaos of moving into the dorms. Jamie will be a freshman at UVA."

"The University of Virginia is a good school."

"I know. It's my old Alma Mater."

He pursed his lips. "I didn't realize . . ."

He turned his head away, but not before Amanda read the regret in his eyes. Brad Stevenson knew her so well; yet, in many ways, he didn't know her at all. "We're really proud of Phillip, as well," she put in quickly. "He was accepted as a transfer student at the University of Maryland, in College Park. I think the fresh start will be really good for him."

Thanks to Billy, she added silently. Their friend had lobbied the powers-that-be and managed to get him admitted on a probationary basis. Phillip had promised not to let them down, especially since Lee had agreed to split the tuition payments with Joe. Her older son had matured into a remarkable young man over the winter and spring.

"How's your mother?" Brad asked, breaking awkward pause that had grown between them.

Amanda gave him a guilty look; for a moment, she had almost forgotten he was there. "We finally sold the house in Arlington in June, so she's back in Switzerland for the summer. Harry—the man she's been seeing—recently retired. They're planning to split their time between his chalet and her new condo in Annapolis."

"She's getting married?"

"Um, not exactly." Amanda rolled her eyes. "It seems that my mother and Harry have decided to live in sin."

He laughed. "Your mother is quite a character."

"Yes, she is."

Resting his elbows on his knees, Brad leaned a little closer. "And how are things with you, Amanda?"

Her name sounded strange rolling off his lips. Feeling more than a little self-conscious, she cast her eyes down at the glistening sand. "Oh, I'm busier than ever. I'm going to be room mother for Annie this year, and I'll be starting a new job at the NavalAcademy in the fall, doing security reviews." Thanks once again to Billy Melrose. Her old boss had evidently pulled a few strings for her, as well; plum jobs like that were hard to come by.

"Sounds like something that would be right up your alley."

"Yes . . . it really is the perfect setup. I can be there for Annie and still use my Agency training." And perhaps now that her life was finally back on track professionally as well as personally, Billy would no longer feel the need to keep atoning for Mrs. Marsten's actions. "What about you?" she inquired in a low voice. "Are things going okay?"

"The practice is doing very well. We broke ground last month on an addition to the clinic. Seems I finally found a way to put the money my parents left me to good use."

"I noticed the new construction as we drove through town." She shot a sideways glance at Brad as she spoke. She noted with a pang of remorse that his eyes never seemed to crinkle with happiness, the way they had once upon a time. "That's not exactly what I asked, though."

"I know." He dug his heel into the sand. "Okay, I'll admit it, things were rough in the beginning. Walking back into my empty cabin for the first time was . . . well, it was like losing you all over again. But you know what they say . . ." He shrugged. "Given enough time . . ."

He gave her another half-smile, and Amanda understood; perhaps some things were best left unsaid. "Well, I really should be going." He pushed off the low chair. "I have a last-minute patient coming in at five, then a dinner date."

Stretching her beach cover-up more tightly across her chest, she rose, also. "Let me guess—the Au Sable Inn, right?"

He chuckled under his breath. "It is the best place in town."

"It's the only place in town," she laughed, making a mental note to cancel their reservation for tonight. Suddenly a hot dog roast on the beach sounded pretty appealing. "It's good to see you, Brad. Maybe . . . maybe I'll try to bring Annie by the office before we leave, if that's okay."

"I've got a pretty hectic schedule for the next few days," he mumbled. "You know how it is when you've been away . . ."

"Yeah, I know how it is." She bit her lip. "Maybe next time, then."

He nodded. "I might be coming to Baltimore the first week of March, for a seminar. Maybe, if things aren't too busy, I could stop by . . ."

"Sure. Just let me know when."

"I will. Well . . ." He gripped her shoulder lightly. "Say hello to Annie for me."

With a final wave, he jogged off down the beach. Amanda stood watching until his tall form became nothing more than a dot that faded from view. She hoped he'd call when he came to Maryland in the spring, but she wouldn't count on it. Some wounds healed best if you simply left them alone.

"Mommy . . ." Annie's excited voice washed over her as the little girl raced up from the water, Lee close behind her. "Daddy says I'm turning into a prune."

"Well, you're turning blue, at the very least," she laughed, wrapping the squirming body in a terry-cloth jacket. She looked to Lee. "You two had enough water for one day?"

"Yes," her husband replied, his skin all gooseflesh as he snatched up his discarded beach towel.

"Nooo," Annie protested at almost the same time through chattering teeth. "I want to go in the water again. Please, Daddy."

"Tell you what," Lee said, rubbing his arms to get the circulation moving. "How about we both thaw out in the cabin for a little while then we can go for a quick walk before dinner."

"Can I squish all the sand cakes with my toes?" she asked breathlessly.

He grinned at Amanda over his daughter's dark-blonde head. "Absolutely."

"Okay," she called, taking off at a run.

Amanda smiled. "She'll sleep soundly tonight."

"That's the idea, Mrs. Stetson," he said with a low laugh. He nodded toward their cozy rental unit. "How about you? Ready to go up?"

"Not just yet . . ." Her smile faded as she looked down the beach. "I think I need to clear my head a bit."

"I saw him from the water." Lee exhaled loudly. "Our intel must have been wrong."

She shrugged. "He came back earlier than expected from his convention, that's all."

"Maybe coming here wasn't such a good idea after all, huh?"

"Disney World is looking more attractive all the time. If Annie hadn't had her heart set on seeing the beach again . . ." She heaved a sigh.

"Next year."

"Yeah . . . next year."

Lifting her eyes, she met her husband's sympathetic gaze. He knew this sojourn to the north woods had been a bittersweet experience for her. She had to admit, the trip had done wonders for him, though. He looked relaxed, rested and . . . positively amazing. The combination of water and sun had streaked his hair with gold, almost the same color as Annie's. And those wonderful hazel eyes . . .

She realized with a start that the haunted expression that had become such a part of him was gone. When had that happened? She couldn't really fix the day or the hour but, at long last, they were both wonderfully . . . indecently . . . happy. She knew it, just as surely as she knew her name was Amanda Stetson. She'd simply needed this brief journey backwards in time to finally recognize it.

She reached for his hand. "I'm glad we didn't go to Florida this year. It's been good to be back here again."

A smile of understanding spread across his face as he fingered the sparkling trio of diamonds in her new ring, his gift for their anniversary. "It's a beautiful spot, Amanda."

"Heaven on earth, so the natives say." And for her it had been just that . . . for a little while, anyway. "You're freezing, Lee," she said with a laugh as she ran her hand lightly over his arm. "I think you should take your own advice and go inside."

"I think you're right." He winked as he gave her a quick kiss. "Too bad you can't come warm me up."

"Later." She smiled broadly. "I'll warm you up to your heart's content, I promise. Now go take a hot shower, before you turn into a prune."

Sending him off, she turned and ambled down to the lake. Staring out across the horizon, she let the ebb and flow of the waves bury her feet in the sand. She'd stood at the water's edge, just like this, so many times during that first year. Then, she'd been trying to pierce the cavernous void of her past. Now, that void was filled with a million memories, and a future that stretched out joyfully before her . . .

Her mother and Harry, living happily together, their lives intertwining with hers . . .

Phillip and Jamie, graduating from college as strong, independent young men, perhaps marrying and starting families of their own . . .

Annie, growing into a beautiful young woman, capable and confident, with the hands of both her parents to guide her . . .

And her husband beside her, sharing the joys as well as the burdens, the way it was always meant to be.

She saw it all with absolute certainty . . . just as she saw that she would probably never return to the shores of Lake Huron again.

This place had been her haven and her home, in a time when she'd desperately needed one. For the strength she'd drawn from the deep, blue waters . . . and from a good, caring man . . . she would always be grateful. But now they both belonged firmly in the past . . . her past. In a moment of perfect clarity, she suddenly knew why she'd been compelled to come back here.

Gazing out across the sparkling lake one last time, she murmured her silent goodbye. Only then did she turn and walk slowly back to the cabin to join her husband and daughter.

--Finis--